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What Kids Actually Need Today (w/ Richard Weissbourd) | How to Be a Better Human | TED

Happiness, high achievement, or kindness – which is most important to you in your kids? Which do you think your kids think you care about the most? Richard Weissbourd is a psychologist, the senior lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, and the director of the Making Caring Common Project. Richard joins Chris to…

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Happiness, high achievement, or kindness – which is most important to you in your kids? Which do you think your kids think you care about the most? Richard Weissbourd is a psychologist, the senior lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, and the director of the Making Caring Common Project. Richard joins Chris to discuss the challenges facing American parents which he raised in his book, The Parents We Mean to Be. Rick also explains how parents can overcome their own shame, the importance of teaching kids to recognize others’ emotions, and how acts of service can strengthen relationships.

This is an episode of TED’s How to Be a Better Human podcast. Listen on your favorite podcast app:

For the full text transcript, visit go.ted.com/BHTranscripts

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22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. @TranNgocLanan

    August 13, 2025 at 11:03 am

    Showed this video to a friend and she said that laughter is the best way to improve relationships🧡

    • @AnnieB-v8j

      August 13, 2025 at 2:29 pm

      Maybe shared laughter which is rooted in love can improve relationships, but scorning, shaming, mocking laughter is often used to curtail behavior without compassion or understanding.

  2. @HoangHuuCanhnh

    August 13, 2025 at 11:05 am

    who else here with zero context? 🍭💝

  3. @riberXgames

    August 13, 2025 at 11:07 am

    Stay away from the screen

    • @hows-tohack

      August 13, 2025 at 11:31 am

      What’s the problem?

    • @thechosenone6333

      August 13, 2025 at 1:02 pm

      Nah time management

  4. @vesawuoristo4162

    August 13, 2025 at 11:22 am

    Difficult times we are in.

  5. @mrfalleo

    August 13, 2025 at 11:24 am

    There is no objective ‘better’ just a subjective interpretation of a ‘better’.

  6. @KienThucDoDay

    August 13, 2025 at 12:24 pm

    14:24′ well said, professor.

  7. @galacticmaui2

    August 13, 2025 at 12:37 pm

    I think our lack of selflessness is in part cultural but also financial. People have less time and money to invest in others.

    • @AnnieB-v8j

      August 13, 2025 at 2:32 pm

      Choices, priorities.

    • @galacticmaui2

      August 13, 2025 at 2:44 pm

      @@AnnieB-v8jI’m not disagreeing

    • @BonnieShadow33

      August 14, 2025 at 3:35 pm

      The irony is that when I was homeless, it was poor people who helped far more than middle or upper class people. And as soon as I got even a little bit stable, I started giving back & paying it forward to the best of my ability. In my experience, those who have very little are much more generous than those who have a lot.

    • @galacticmaui2

      August 14, 2025 at 3:42 pm

      @@BonnieShadow33that may be true but hard to make generalizations from just ones experience. For example I had a family member who as well of who spent a lot of his free time helping tutor people for free because he wasn’t tight on time and finances. I’ve also known poor people who are only takers and yet are still poor. Same applies on the opposite end.

    • @BonnieShadow33

      August 14, 2025 at 6:04 pm

      ​@@galacticmaui2 Which is precisely why I can’t completely agree with your original post. 🙃 There are still generous people at a variety of income levels.

  8. @CREATIVE-twm

    August 13, 2025 at 12:40 pm

    Wow

  9. @TheBestLifeMindsetWithShelly

    August 13, 2025 at 1:55 pm

    This is such an important conversation 🙌 From a psychological perspective, children thrive when achievement is grounded in emotional intelligence and empathy. Kindness and the ability to recognize others’ emotions not only deepen relationships but also build the resilience and self-worth that high achievement alone can’t provide. In the end, raising caring humans is the true measure of success. 💖

  10. @dawnshire2069

    August 13, 2025 at 7:37 pm

    Reasoning.

  11. @todaycountsshow

    August 13, 2025 at 9:09 pm

    Powerful takeaway from this: Kids today don’t just need happiness—they need purpose, resilience, and caring communities.

  12. @thechildmindershub

    August 13, 2025 at 10:38 pm

    This is such an important conversation! I love how it highlights the need to balance achievement with kindness and empathy.
    In my experience as an Early Childhood Educator, children thrive most when they feel valued for who they are, not just for what they accomplish.

  13. @Doug97803

    August 14, 2025 at 1:39 am

    The second you make happiness your goal, you become less happy.

  14. @NasriinUpdirshiid-v9y

    August 14, 2025 at 9:49 am

    13:12

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The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less) — plus originals, podcasts and exclusive content. Look for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design as well as science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit for our entire library, transcripts, translations and personalized recommendations.

TED videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with the TED Talks Usage Policy: . For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), submit a request at

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