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What Gets Lost When We Treat Conversations Like Transactions | Khaya Dlanga | TED

Through humorous anecdotes and moving memories, he explores why it’s the conversations we have without strategy or agenda that actually allow us to see one another. (Recorded at TED2025 on April 9, 2025) Join us in person at a TED conference: Become a TED Member to support our mission: Subscribe to a TED newsletter: Follow…

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Through humorous anecdotes and moving memories, he explores why it’s the conversations we have without strategy or agenda that actually allow us to see one another. (Recorded at TED2025 on April 9, 2025)

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23 Comments

23 Comments

  1. @JemimahIyamah

    February 3, 2026 at 11:03 am

    First to comment
    Yeahhhh

    • @ExistentialWolf

      February 3, 2026 at 11:14 am

      You sound like you wish you knew how to skate … maybe someone will show 😀

  2. @theawesomest2850

    February 3, 2026 at 11:16 am

    Yeah calling someone a NPC is very dehumanizing

  3. @DonovanDube

    February 3, 2026 at 11:16 am

    Yaasssss, Khaya 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

  4. @DrNshali

    February 3, 2026 at 11:26 am

    Well articulated👏🏿👏🏿

  5. @thelordcomanderwhocriedwolf

    February 3, 2026 at 11:48 am

    Thank you so much for your important message Khaya. Now more than ever.❤️‍🩹🕯️

  6. @StraightEdgeBaconKiddo

    February 3, 2026 at 11:48 am

    Thank you so much for your important message Khaya. Now more than ever.❤️‍🩹🕯️

  7. @Shorooq857Samaa

    February 3, 2026 at 12:00 pm

    لماذا سوف ادخل جاري الى حياتي واجعله يتكلم فيما يشاء وقد يؤذي ذلك مشاعري بينما أنا في غنى عن ذلك 😮 افضل السلام الداخلي عن السماح لاي احد الدخول لعالمي

  8. @CaroNielsen

    February 3, 2026 at 12:54 pm

    💖 love good stories 😊

  9. @AlyciaBetz

    February 3, 2026 at 12:59 pm

    🤍🤍🤍🦚🤍🤍🤍

  10. @wikimasakinihirota678

    February 3, 2026 at 3:12 pm

    サニボアナ

  11. @1MysteryZ1967

    February 3, 2026 at 4:30 pm

    ❤🎉

  12. @ggvideonow1

    February 3, 2026 at 10:12 pm

    I go to sports bars start conversations for the sake of conversation … once a week. Which team is yours? any response most of the time end up to be a nice conversation

  13. @urbanstrencan

    February 4, 2026 at 1:20 am

    Great video, and great talk

  14. @adeeba_arf

    February 4, 2026 at 9:54 am

    Thank you so much khaya❤ It’s true Ai can never replace our human connections✨ it’s time that we understand we should start connecting with people we care about, with our loved ones😊

  15. @whitetowncar

    February 4, 2026 at 1:19 pm

    Thank you, sorry for your loss

  16. @lemonpow420

    February 4, 2026 at 7:56 pm

    💜✌🏼

  17. @BusinessBankingAndBeyond

    February 5, 2026 at 2:41 am

    In a world driven by results, let’s not forget the value of simply listening, of pausing to hear the stories behind the words. Every conversation is an opportunity to learn something new, to enrich our lives with the wisdom and experiences of others. By treating conversations as the human exchanges they are, we foster a sense of community and understanding that transcends the transactional, enriching both our personal and collective journeys.

  18. @GrumpyGurmudgeon

    February 5, 2026 at 10:21 am

    I wish he had drawn the man on the moon face because I don’t see anything. When I look at the Moon all I see is dark and light spots

  19. @FranciscoArvizu

    February 5, 2026 at 10:28 am

    Khaya, we see you.

  20. @NomzamoNthabiseng

    February 5, 2026 at 1:57 pm

    Thank you Khaya! I had no idea that “sawubona” had such a profound meaning

  21. @benwarped7272

    February 5, 2026 at 8:24 pm

    I mean people treat all of human experiences as transactions. It’s more about “what can I get from this person” than anything else.

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TED’s videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy: . For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at

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The TED Talks channel features talks, performances and original series from the world’s leading thinkers and doers. Subscribe to our channel for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design — plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more.

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TED’s videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy: . For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at

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