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How to Raise Confident Kids in an Age of Anxiety | Lenore Skenazy | TED

The secret to reducing childhood anxiety is actually quite simple: just let kids do more stuff on their own, says Lenore Skenazy, cofounder and president of Let Grow, an organization dedicated to normalizing childhood independence. In conversation with TED’s Whitney Pennington Rodgers, Skenazy discusses why parenting has become more demanding in our safety-obsessed world —…

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The secret to reducing childhood anxiety is actually quite simple: just let kids do more stuff on their own, says Lenore Skenazy, cofounder and president of Let Grow, an organization dedicated to normalizing childhood independence. In conversation with TED’s Whitney Pennington Rodgers, Skenazy discusses why parenting has become more demanding in our safety-obsessed world — and offers a more joyful, trusting alternative to helicopter parenting, with tangible steps for how to start safely (and sanely) letting your kids grow. (This conversation was part of an exclusive TED Membership event. TED Membership is the best way to support and engage with the big ideas you love from TED. To learn more, visit ted.com/membership.) (Recorded at TED Membership on September 17, 2025)

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21 Comments

21 Comments

  1. @Cookstah13

    November 30, 2025 at 11:02 am

    26 sec ago first viewer in the world here with my kid next to me

  2. @mohammadmohiuddin4027

    November 30, 2025 at 11:05 am

    Saved and Watching for future preparation

  3. @ctcboater

    November 30, 2025 at 11:45 am

    When I was 10, I’d take long hikes into the woods, just exploring. When I was 14, I had a real laboratory in the basement, with all sorts of dangerous chemicals. Yeah, I injured myself a couple of times, but my mother just took it all in stride. That was in the late 1950s.
    And I got a 784 on the Chemistry SAT.

  4. @SSAlmondButter

    November 30, 2025 at 11:49 am

    If my kids ever wanted to go out in public on their own, I’d tell them they could if they became at least a blackbelt in bjj, judo, kung fu, mma, self defense, etc

  5. @daledevernon56

    November 30, 2025 at 11:55 am

    So basically taking a page out of the gen x latchkey kids.

  6. @Mustbecrazytobehere

    November 30, 2025 at 11:56 am

    Autonomy vs shame and doubt.

  7. @SSAlmondButter

    November 30, 2025 at 12:07 pm

    15:26 from a historical perspective, parents worry about their kids because of the industrial revolution and child labor in developing countries.

    I know this is a positive, uplifting conversation. At the same time, what I am saying is something to consider as an epigenetic, historical trauma-based explanation for increased generational anxiety.

    Great conversation all the same!

  8. @KarlenMkrtchyan-k9n

    November 30, 2025 at 2:19 pm

    The speaker explores how modern pressures quietly erode children’s confidence. She argues that genuine confidence grows from autonomy — letting kids try, fail, and try again. Instead of rescuing them from discomfort, we should guide them with warmth, trust, and space to develop real competence.

    • @lenoreskenazy8595

      December 1, 2025 at 1:14 pm

      Yes indeed I do! Thank you for such a succinct and ACCURATE summary!

  9. @francesbernard2445

    November 30, 2025 at 2:33 pm

    Lenore Skenazy how does a parent nuture their children when according to an ex or two and all who will listen to their lies after we left them when then we can do nothing right as a single parent during their constant double standaring about how we parent compared to us.

  10. @christaikobo

    November 30, 2025 at 4:17 pm

    I was going to say today’s kid is too confident almost after just seeing the title. But the actual content is not really about that, and I like what she is doing.

    • @lenoreskenazy8595

      December 1, 2025 at 1:14 pm

      Thanks for giving me a chance!

  11. @AnotherVirsionofme

    December 1, 2025 at 2:17 am

    She has a good prespective even tho i disagree with some points that she has mentioned

    • @lenoreskenazy8595

      December 1, 2025 at 1:14 pm

      Fair enough!

  12. @MsTatu3

    December 1, 2025 at 6:01 am

    Times have changed especially regarding children roaming around on their own. It’s become dangerous. We adapt as society around us changes. It’s abit crazy out there

  13. @SmithSWLM

    December 1, 2025 at 6:21 am

    This isn’t realistic in my community. If your child and another child are playing, and the other child gets hurt, you will get sued. There are other factors at play, also – when I was a kid, if some community member caught us doing something ridiculously dangerous, he would yell at us, tell us to cut it out. Today, no one will say anything to your kid because they’re terrified of getting in trouble with the parents. Four year-old boy showed up in my backyard where I have a pool all by himself. I told him hey dude, you can’t just come in my fenced yard by my pool. He ran home and the mom came down to my house and screamed at us for SPEAKING to her child, she said we terrified him and how dare you speak to my child and I’m like well he was in my yard… So if he can’t handle a grown-up saying don’t play in my fenced in yard with an unattended pool, then he can’t handle being left to run around! It’s really hard today because parents don’t view themselves as a team all doing their best to keep all the kids safe. It’s everyone for themselves out there.

  14. @AdityaMehendale

    December 1, 2025 at 4:01 pm

    Might urbanization also play a role? I distinctly remember my grandparents – one pair set in a rural community, the other pair in a metro. I distinctly had a smaller “action radius” when I was visiting the grandparents in the metro, than in the village.

  15. @marcin3136

    December 1, 2025 at 5:21 pm

    Impossible- children have very sensitive nervous systems and they see/feel everything, so they will pick up on the parents’ “hidden stress” even if it isn’t visible and no one openly feels it.

    The only way out is a stoic-leader; emotions are contagious, and strong, calm energy soothes (this is something what normal women feel through touch;,even the less normal too 😅).

  16. @todaycountsshow

    December 2, 2025 at 1:52 am

    Agree. Encouraging kids’ independence builds confidence, resilience, and joy while reducing anxiety and overreliance on constant supervision.

  17. @BusinessBankingAndBeyond

    December 2, 2025 at 8:24 am

    By incorporating these strategies, you can help your children develop the confidence they need to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and optimism.

  18. @Ewyzixugamer

    December 2, 2025 at 2:35 pm

    Not exaggerating when I say Manifest the Divine by Elena River helped me get out of one of the darkest phases of my life. I felt stuck for years. This book gave me clarity I didn’t even know I needed. Grateful is an understatement. ❤

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