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How couples can sustain a strong sexual connection for a lifetime | Emily Nagoski

Visit to get our entire library of TED Talks, subtitles, translations, personalized Talk recommendations and more. As a sex educator, Emily Nagoski is often asked: How do couples sustain a strong sexual connection over the long term? In this funny, insightful talk, she shares her answer — drawing on (somewhat surprising) research to reveal why…

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Visit to get our entire library of TED Talks, subtitles, translations, personalized Talk recommendations and more.

As a sex educator, Emily Nagoski is often asked: How do couples sustain a strong sexual connection over the long term? In this funny, insightful talk, she shares her answer — drawing on (somewhat surprising) research to reveal why some couples stop having sex while others keep up a connection for a lifetime.

The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design — plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. You’re welcome to link to or embed these videos, forward them to others and share these ideas with people you know. For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request here:

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27 Comments

27 Comments

  1. Kelvin W. Kiger

    October 18, 2019 at 2:26 pm

    It made me rethink about my relationship, with the girlfriend i don’t have.

  2. Future Friend

    October 18, 2019 at 2:31 pm

    can someone please mark the time of her main point…

    • Nathan Rook

      October 20, 2019 at 5:15 pm

      9:56

  3. TITAN0402

    October 18, 2019 at 2:44 pm

    1st tip be attractive

  4. Laura Holbert

    October 18, 2019 at 4:02 pm

    Wow that’s very powerful!!! Well said too!!! My husband and I just celebrated 10 yrs of marriage on Sept 12th, and 21 yrs in a committed relationship on Sept 18th, of 2019. We are bestfriends, and we choose to make each other as well as our sexual relationship a priority! It has worked for more than 21yrs for us. I love him, and I love hanging out and spending time with him. We are raiding our now almost 8 yr old granddaughter, and we enjoy spending time”quality” time with her. We go hiking in a local State Park, we go to local recreational parks so she can play, and so do we. It’s romantic to still enjoy hanging out. And we have had our share of ups and downs as a couple. But always choose each other and our relationship and friendship. Love this video!!! Thank you for putting this out there. I wish more ppl could have and experience the friendship and warmth of their special person!!!

  5. ナンタコス

    October 18, 2019 at 4:15 pm

    日本語字幕お願い致します

  6. Lara Smith

    October 18, 2019 at 4:56 pm

    🦋I’ve been married almost 10 years & I am still attracted to my man. The key is ❤️

    • Umesh Kumar

      October 21, 2019 at 8:43 am

      Maybe you are looking so sexy still now

  7. cska007cska007

    October 18, 2019 at 6:03 pm

    did not understand about hedhehog

  8. j5 b4ch

    October 18, 2019 at 6:23 pm

    maybe your friend cringed because you kept talking creepily about skinnnnnnnnnn

  9. Smi Co

    October 18, 2019 at 6:30 pm

    Yes yes, spread the “ideas”

  10. Jesse V

    October 18, 2019 at 7:21 pm

    Ah yes, sleepy hedgehogs. It all makes since now….

  11. Fun Times

    October 18, 2019 at 8:36 pm

    MGTOW for life!

  12. Simon Smith

    October 18, 2019 at 11:12 pm

    I love what she’s saying but it’s not always so simple if one partner has no desire.
    Plus this is surely, at least the second time this video has been posted as a TedX

  13. Chiquicat

    October 19, 2019 at 1:28 am

    Getting a vasectomy, no need to watch the vid.

  14. utubewillyman

    October 19, 2019 at 2:18 am

    Couldn’t this be done without racist drawings?

  15. Mick Fowler

    October 19, 2019 at 3:01 am

    “What happens when you marry a hedgehog?”.. Mr Bubble.

  16. Николай Зубков

    October 19, 2019 at 4:30 am

    Just two words: kindness and compassion. Nice watching.

  17. Canal THP

    October 19, 2019 at 10:24 am

    I don’t know why they reuploaded it, but i’m thankful, i needed to rewatch

  18. game n chill

    October 19, 2019 at 3:30 pm

    It’s called MDMA

  19. Logan White

    October 19, 2019 at 4:27 pm

    I’m so touched. Great great great talk!

  20. David Dougherty

    October 20, 2019 at 7:27 pm

    My favorite line – “a prickle of sleepy hedgehogs”

  21. maya robin

    October 21, 2019 at 12:46 pm

    First TED I watched lol

  22. Sorin

    October 21, 2019 at 1:16 pm

    I am just wondering how can I get her back ? She left me after 9 years being together because she was not sexually attracted to me. Every other aspect of our relation was more than great, but still she chose to leave. I didn’t knew what to tell her.., now I am stuck in this video and I cannot move further.

  23. Tanya

    October 21, 2019 at 9:41 pm

    Wow, this was just excellent and helpful! Thank you!

  24. fodkb 6N

    October 22, 2019 at 3:17 pm

    Before Ted I did not knew that there are so many fools living on this planet.

  25. Nitty Gritty

    October 23, 2019 at 6:24 am

    My partner and I call the sleepy hedgehogs spoons.

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Science & Technology

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In a quick talk, he shares three major updates of recent human progress on eradicating ancient diseases, establishing massive new ocean sanctuaries and transforming children’s rights. (This conversation was recorded on December 2, 2024.) If you love watching TED Talks like this one, become a TED Member to support our mission of spreading ideas: Follow…

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In a quick talk, he shares three major updates of recent human progress on eradicating ancient diseases, establishing massive new ocean sanctuaries and transforming children’s rights. (This conversation was recorded on December 2, 2024.)

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How to Protect Your Emotional Health During the Holidays | Guy Winch | TED

The end of the year is often a time to reflect and spend time with family — activities that may seem joyful or anxiety-inducing, depending on your circumstances. Psychologist Guy Winch offers actionable advice on how to manage your emotions with confidence during the holidays, from setting boundaries to healing heartache — above all reminding…

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The end of the year is often a time to reflect and spend time with family — activities that may seem joyful or anxiety-inducing, depending on your circumstances. Psychologist Guy Winch offers actionable advice on how to manage your emotions with confidence during the holidays, from setting boundaries to healing heartache — above all reminding you that emotional health is possible, as long as you’re informed and willing to do the work. (This live conversation was hosted by TED’s Whitney Pennington Rodgers. Visit ted.com/membership to support TED today and join more exclusive events like this one.) (Recorded at TED Membership on December 4, 2024)

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The TED Talks channel features talks, performances and original series from the world’s leading thinkers and doers. Subscribe to our channel for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design — plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more.

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TED Fellow and composer Sahba Aminikia brings the healing power of dance, storytelling, music and performance to some of the most dangerous places on Earth. By celebrating children and their communities with beauty and joy, he shows how to cultivate hope, connection and love — even in conflict zones. “The ultimate power is in unity,”…

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TED Fellow and composer Sahba Aminikia brings the healing power of dance, storytelling, music and performance to some of the most dangerous places on Earth. By celebrating children and their communities with beauty and joy, he shows how to cultivate hope, connection and love — even in conflict zones. “The ultimate power is in unity,” Aminikia says. (Recorded at TED Fellows Films 2024 on April 16, 2024)

If you love watching TED Talks like this one, become a TED Member to support our mission of spreading ideas:

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The TED Talks channel features talks, performances and original series from the world’s leading thinkers and doers. Subscribe to our channel for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design — plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more.

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TED’s videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy: . For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at

#TED #TEDTalks #storytelling #community

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