TED Talks

How couples can sustain a strong sexual connection for a lifetime | Emily Nagoski

Visit to get our entire library of TED Talks, subtitles, translations, personalized Talk recommendations and more. As a sex educator, Emily Nagoski is often asked: How do couples sustain a strong sexual connection over the long term? In this funny, insightful talk, she shares her answer — drawing on (somewhat surprising) research to reveal why…

Published

6 years ago

October 17, 2019

CYBER TECH TV

Visit to get our entire library of TED Talks, subtitles, translations, personalized Talk recommendations and more.

As a sex educator, Emily Nagoski is often asked: How do couples sustain a strong sexual connection over the long term? In this funny, insightful talk, she shares her answer — drawing on (somewhat surprising) research to reveal why some couples stop having sex while others keep up a connection for a lifetime.

The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design — plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. You’re welcome to link to or embed these videos, forward them to others and share these ideas with people you know. For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request here:

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27 Comments

Kelvin W. Kiger

October 18, 2019 at 2:26 pm

It made me rethink about my relationship, with the girlfriend i don’t have.

Reply
Future Friend

October 18, 2019 at 2:31 pm

can someone please mark the time of her main point…

Reply
- Nathan Rook
  
  October 20, 2019 at 5:15 pm
  
  9:56
  
  Reply
TITAN0402

October 18, 2019 at 2:44 pm

1st tip be attractive

Reply
Laura Holbert

October 18, 2019 at 4:02 pm

Wow that’s very powerful!!! Well said too!!! My husband and I just celebrated 10 yrs of marriage on Sept 12th, and 21 yrs in a committed relationship on Sept 18th, of 2019. We are bestfriends, and we choose to make each other as well as our sexual relationship a priority! It has worked for more than 21yrs for us. I love him, and I love hanging out and spending time with him. We are raiding our now almost 8 yr old granddaughter, and we enjoy spending time”quality” time with her. We go hiking in a local State Park, we go to local recreational parks so she can play, and so do we. It’s romantic to still enjoy hanging out. And we have had our share of ups and downs as a couple. But always choose each other and our relationship and friendship. Love this video!!! Thank you for putting this out there. I wish more ppl could have and experience the friendship and warmth of their special person!!!

Reply
ナンタコス

October 18, 2019 at 4:15 pm

日本語字幕お願い致します

Reply
Lara Smith

October 18, 2019 at 4:56 pm

????I’ve been married almost 10 years & I am still attracted to my man. The key is ❤️

Reply
- Umesh Kumar
  
  October 21, 2019 at 8:43 am
  
  Maybe you are looking so sexy still now
  
  Reply
cska007cska007

October 18, 2019 at 6:03 pm

did not understand about hedhehog

Reply
j5 b4ch

October 18, 2019 at 6:23 pm

maybe your friend cringed because you kept talking creepily about skinnnnnnnnnn

Reply
Smi Co

October 18, 2019 at 6:30 pm

Yes yes, spread the “ideas”

Reply
Jesse V

October 18, 2019 at 7:21 pm

Ah yes, sleepy hedgehogs. It all makes since now….

Reply
Fun Times

October 18, 2019 at 8:36 pm

MGTOW for life!

Reply
Simon Smith

October 18, 2019 at 11:12 pm

I love what she’s saying but it’s not always so simple if one partner has no desire.
Plus this is surely, at least the second time this video has been posted as a TedX

Reply
Chiquicat

October 19, 2019 at 1:28 am

Getting a vasectomy, no need to watch the vid.

Reply
utubewillyman

October 19, 2019 at 2:18 am

Couldn’t this be done without racist drawings?

Reply
Mick Fowler

October 19, 2019 at 3:01 am

“What happens when you marry a hedgehog?”.. Mr Bubble.

Reply
Николай Зубков

October 19, 2019 at 4:30 am

Just two words: kindness and compassion. Nice watching.

Reply
Canal THP

October 19, 2019 at 10:24 am

I don’t know why they reuploaded it, but i’m thankful, i needed to rewatch

Reply
game n chill

October 19, 2019 at 3:30 pm

It’s called MDMA

Reply
Logan White

October 19, 2019 at 4:27 pm

I’m so touched. Great great great talk!

Reply
David Dougherty

October 20, 2019 at 7:27 pm

My favorite line – “a prickle of sleepy hedgehogs”

Reply
maya robin

October 21, 2019 at 12:46 pm

First TED I watched lol

Reply
Sorin

October 21, 2019 at 1:16 pm

I am just wondering how can I get her back ? She left me after 9 years being together because she was not sexually attracted to me. Every other aspect of our relation was more than great, but still she chose to leave. I didn’t knew what to tell her.., now I am stuck in this video and I cannot move further.

Reply
Tanya

October 21, 2019 at 9:41 pm

Wow, this was just excellent and helpful! Thank you!

Reply
fodkb 6N

October 22, 2019 at 3:17 pm

Before Ted I did not knew that there are so many fools living on this planet.

Reply
Nitty Gritty

October 23, 2019 at 6:24 am

My partner and I call the sleepy hedgehogs spoons.

Reply

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The TED Idea Search wraps up in Amman, Jordan, in a 2,000-year-old Roman amphitheater and in front of a crowd of 4,000. What unfolds inside those stone walls is something the series hasn’t quite seen before: speakers shaped by the weight of living in a region the world tends to define for itself. From a mountaineer who turned grief into motivation to a therapist rewriting the Arab world’s language around mental health, the final city makes the strongest case yet that the best ideas can come from anywhere.

Watch the full talks from the TEDxAmman Idea Search:

00:00 – Intro
3:24 – Rehearsals
16:00 – The Talks
36:28 – Deliberation
38:48 – The Winner Is…

The most interesting ideas often come from the most unexpected places. We searched the globe for ideas with the power to inspire, motivate and change lives — and we found them at @TEDx events around the world. The TED Idea Search follows extraordinary speakers from 9 countries competing for a spot on the TED main stage in Vancouver this April.

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The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less) — plus originals, podcasts and exclusive content. Look for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design as well as science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit for our entire library, transcripts, translations and personalized recommendations.

TED videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with the TED Talks Usage Policy: . For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), submit a request at

#TED #TEDTalks #TEDIdeaSearch

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How do you quieten the judgmental voice in your head? Educator and entrepreneur Anu Gupta suggests you actually listen to it.Anu joins Chris to discuss the effects of human biases on our psyche and how to combat self-destructive habits by swapping out harmful emotions with constructive thoughts. They also talk about how individuals, when they…

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Join us in person at a TED conference:
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Follow TED!
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The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less) — plus originals, podcasts and exclusive content. Look for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design as well as science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit for our entire library, transcripts, translations and personalized recommendations.

#TED #TEDTalks #HowToBeABetterHuman