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Doctor Answers Surrogate Pregnancy Questions | Tech Support | WIRED

Psychologist, author and Senior Partner at Growing Generations Kim Bergman joins WIRED to answer the internet’s burning questions about being a surrogate and the surrogacy process. Where do you begin with surrogacy? What happens if a surrogate decides they want to keep the baby? What are the risks involved with surrogacy? Answers to these questions…

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Psychologist, author and Senior Partner at Growing Generations Kim Bergman joins WIRED to answer the internet’s burning questions about being a surrogate and the surrogacy process. Where do you begin with surrogacy? What happens if a surrogate decides they want to keep the baby? What are the risks involved with surrogacy? Answers to these questions and many more await on Surrogacy Support.

#Surrogacy #Surrogate #WIRED

00:00 – Surrogacy Support
00:15 – Surrogacy when capable of having children
02:10 – Exploitative or empowering?
04:01 – “Third-party assisted reproduction”
05:02 – Friends is real-life, ask Phoebe
05:45 – Can a surrogate keep the baby?
07:03 – Traditional vs. gestational surrogacy
07:41 – Surrogacy abortion
09:31 – The limit of surrogate pregnancies
10:17 – The legalities of surrogacy miscarriage
11:25 – Job protection as a surrogate
11:46 – Where to begin?
14:34 – Judgement after surrogacy
16:03 – Can you relinquish a surrogate baby?
16:49 – How surrogates are recruited
18:42 – I didn’t know my wife offered to be a surrogate
19:48 – Surrogacy second thoughts
20:42 – Risks to a surrogate
22:06 – Legality of surrogacy in European countries
24:10 – Do surrogate babies develop attachment issues?
24:57 – How much does surrogacy cost?
25:56 – Baby health & the surrogate process
26:52 – How to start
27:26 – Surrogate vs. parental screening
28:30 – The impact on mental health
30:50 – Gattaca: is the writing on the wall?
31:39 – Should a surrogate child know?

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104 Comments

104 Comments

  1. @EricLopez-y6b

    March 17, 2026 at 3:32 pm

    This is a misleading title for this video. This woman is not a doctor, she’s not a medical doctor. In the introduction, she simply calls herself a psychologist and surrogacy expert, which anyone can give themselves that title.

    • @HeathBarHarris

      March 17, 2026 at 4:24 pm

      Weird take

    • @Hiyoyoful

      March 17, 2026 at 4:45 pm

      she’s a clinical psychologist which means she has a PhD. Anyone with a PhD is a doctor.

    • @EricLopez-y6b

      March 17, 2026 at 4:48 pm

      @Hiyoyoful she is basically giving medical advice on this YouTube video and needs to be reported for practicing medicine without a license. If she wants to give psychological advice, that’s great, but that doesn’t make her a medical doctor capable of giving advice on medical procedures.

    • @kyladunn6118

      March 17, 2026 at 6:15 pm

      Psychologists are doctors. Some have PhDs and some have MDs. Psychologists are crucial when it comes to surrogacy- they help determine whether a woman is mentally fit for the process and provide mental health services throughout the pregnancy and after birth.

    • @exaviere

      March 17, 2026 at 6:48 pm

      ​@EricLopez-y6bshe’s not giving medical advice, she’s speaking factually based on her 30 years of experience in the field!

  2. @DaveBloodbow

    March 17, 2026 at 3:39 pm

    It surprises me that surrogate mothers wouldn’t have more issues giving up the baby purely because of biology. I’d figure that hormonally her body would be pushing her to bond with the child purely because your body doesn’t “know” that you aren’t the intended parent. But there are plenty of mothers who mistreat their children too, so I suppose it’s not that strange that her brain can override it.

    I also didn’t realize we had the technology to implant a fertilized egg into an unrelated person and reliably have a healthy pregnancy. That’s crazy.

  3. @iweiiker

    March 17, 2026 at 3:53 pm

    *Binance infinity ETH bug right now*
    *I just made a video to show that<*

  4. @mariamartin5674

    March 17, 2026 at 4:13 pm

    Most surrogates are impoverished women. They’re being taken advantage of in most cases. Not to mention the misogynistic concept of thinking you can “rent” a woman’s womb.

  5. @mariamartin5674

    March 17, 2026 at 4:28 pm

    “Opportunistic or in it for the money” —what a joke. People are literally asking to rent a woman’s body and the surrogate is “opportunistic” lmfao

    • @boo_

      March 17, 2026 at 5:27 pm

      If you don’t like then don’t participate in it, but don’t tell others what they can or cannot do.

    • @Hilfiata

      March 17, 2026 at 6:24 pm

      ​@boo_ Things cease to be a matter of “liking it” or “not liking it” when human rights are involved. It’s not as simple as “if you don’t like ketchup, don’t put it on your hot dog” if you believe the entire system of monetizing bodies is inherently exploitative and harmful to the collective.

    • @Heliocanix

      March 17, 2026 at 6:44 pm

      @Hilfiata did u watch the video?? its not exploitative and the surrogates have to be financially stable to be involved specifically to avoid doing it for money? theres no human rights issue if everyone consents?
      human rights should always be about bodily autonomy, including safe and ethical surrogacy? im honestly surprised its such a controversial topic in these comments as it seems pretty cut and dry. but theres also a lot of homophobia in here too so clearly not a lot of logic based opinions :/

    • @Dh9292-rt9mb

      March 17, 2026 at 7:22 pm

      @boo_ – slaveowners back in the day

    • @Dh9292-rt9mb

      March 17, 2026 at 7:26 pm

      @Heliocanix Lmfao calling her homophobic bc your argument is getting torn up 🤣🤣

  6. @queenie2668

    March 17, 2026 at 4:45 pm

    Is the title correct? Did I hear correctly – psychologist…?

    • @boo_

      March 17, 2026 at 5:28 pm

      PhD = doctor. You caught up yet?

  7. @TulipsToKiss

    March 17, 2026 at 4:52 pm

    wow I loved this video, so enlightening and trauma informed. Kim’s a delight!!!

  8. @vlmellody51

    March 17, 2026 at 4:56 pm

    This was really interesting, as have been all the videos of this type I’ve watched here.

    I would have liked there to have been some discussion about what happened if the child’s parents reject it for whatever reason. I remember some cases when the parents wanted only one child, but found themselves with multiples.

    • @jordynl9904

      March 17, 2026 at 5:28 pm

      She said the parents are legally bound to take the kid and if they were to die, they have pre-chosen parents to take the kid. So I assume something similar would happen if they didn’t want all the kids. Plus she made a comment about how lawyers are lawyers and will make you do things to abide by the contract

  9. @inesferreira-norman2948

    March 17, 2026 at 5:56 pm

    Excellent episode, she is a really good communicator and the topic is fascinating

  10. @lookingforwhiteprivilege9330

    March 17, 2026 at 6:13 pm

    This stuff is just icky and gross. And NO. no child should be deprived of a mother. It’s NOT okay to grow up with two dads on purpose.

    • @gretchene719

      March 17, 2026 at 8:54 pm

      😂😂😂😂

  11. @tierraisbell2666

    March 17, 2026 at 6:37 pm

    some people want abortions.

  12. @st3ff31

    March 17, 2026 at 6:46 pm

    I loved this video. This hit personally. Thank you to the channel for providing, and thank you to Kim for being so eloquently informative, and respectful.
    I love that this channel does potentially very controversial topics. It at least opens the door to discussion that fights misinformation!!

  13. @BlueBird8925

    March 17, 2026 at 6:51 pm

    Great topic and speaker!

  14. @lowbudgetmic

    March 17, 2026 at 6:56 pm

    Surrogacy 😮😮😮

  15. @Cartoonandanimelove1

    March 17, 2026 at 7:05 pm

    6:00 ofc it’s happened. It may not have happened in this person’s career primarily because it’s a true agency with legal contracts. But it has happened enough for Surrogacy to be illegal in many countries.

  16. @backyardbeautybrainsbirdsb4109

    March 17, 2026 at 7:13 pm

    Beautiful! We wanted you we thought about you etc

  17. @Amonimus

    March 17, 2026 at 7:17 pm

    It’s okay, I’m surprised it even needs to be explained.

  18. @Dh9292-rt9mb

    March 17, 2026 at 7:19 pm

    maybe my radfem views is coloring my opinion, but to me surrogacy will always read as arrogance. I understand if you want your children to be genetically related to you, but I also believe that you’re not fit to be a parent if you aren’t willing to adopt or raise a child that isn’t your own.

  19. @barbborja1910

    March 17, 2026 at 8:00 pm

    As one of those women who absolutely loved being pregnant, I can see why someone would choose to be a surrogate. I would need to know the parents personally for me to do something so enormous. I applaud any woman who gives this enormous gift of a child.

  20. @ThePrototype047

    March 17, 2026 at 8:48 pm

    I would have liked at least a lampshade of adoption

  21. @kaofee

    March 17, 2026 at 8:50 pm

    Didn’t know i wanted to hear about this but it was a very interesting watch. Thanks WIRED

  22. @Gwenx

    March 17, 2026 at 8:54 pm

    As a European… I think this is wonderfull, i think we SHOULD legalize surrogacy, but have many guard rails around who is allowed to be a surrogate, so we can advoid women who gets exploited.
    We need this generocity for all the people who cannot have a baby themselves 💕

  23. @tvsatellitee

    March 17, 2026 at 9:05 pm

    the timing of this is so interesting with the adoption drama on tiktok right now lol

  24. @christacampbell1500

    March 17, 2026 at 9:07 pm

    for me being born with 3 heart valves instead of 4 n dads side with heart issues I finally got both my tubes out n I’m happy with a house full of dogs

  25. @tvsatellitee

    March 17, 2026 at 9:22 pm

    this was super informative and unbelievably insightful. wow!!!

  26. @Therezumee92

    March 18, 2026 at 3:50 am

    This channel really gets great people. I see no issue when it’s done ethical, What’s the issue if one doesn’t want, can’t carry the baby and other woman is willing to do that as long everyone’s rights are in order.

  27. @safaa9654

    March 18, 2026 at 4:11 am

    I still see it as exploitative even if the mother is supposedly happy doing it, because pregnancy in itself is exploitative to women. The permanent changes to your body and mind, women and men love to not talk about all the negatives

    • @kyxoa

      March 18, 2026 at 7:00 am

      not even true. if you do not want children, that’s okay, that’s your right. but many consenting and understanding adults want children or want to provide children for people who cannot have them themselves.

    • @mikesteve9843

      March 18, 2026 at 2:36 pm

      and they want to make a cool 50k on top

    • @kyxoa

      March 18, 2026 at 4:17 pm

      @mikesteve9843 money that goes towards the surrogate mothers care? that’s where most of that money goes.

    • @mikesteve9843

      March 18, 2026 at 5:50 pm

      @kyxoait’s a job, they get paid

  28. @qaq8409

    March 18, 2026 at 4:56 am

    I never knew anything about surrogacy before this video. Thank you for educating me, and so many others

  29. @loquatmuncher

    March 18, 2026 at 5:02 am

    why do they all look like this

  30. @wattsmichaele

    March 18, 2026 at 5:14 am

    For 10k years humans reproduced….thru good and bad times….this fringe way to reproduce is bizarre😥….just like the looks and opinions of this weirdo….use SO MANY other sources to make any decisions…..nature made us to reproduce….do not rely on today’s science….good grief…

  31. @wattsmichaele

    March 18, 2026 at 5:17 am

    Just F normally….with your wife or whatever….blow off all this weirdo s$%^…..😊

    • @kelly1827

      March 18, 2026 at 5:15 pm

      And if that can’t result in a pregnancy? Not everyone wants to or can adopt.

  32. @MrAmrmnabil

    March 18, 2026 at 6:25 am

    This is adultery

  33. @swiiirly_cinnamon_bun

    March 18, 2026 at 6:45 am

    Really hard to name women “women”, huh?

  34. @arianahunt3956

    March 18, 2026 at 7:04 am

    Do you have to tell your job that your pregnancy is a surrogacy and not technically yours?

    • @beckyboo5142

      March 18, 2026 at 9:53 am

      It can’t think of a reason why it would be relevant to your employment

  35. @hansan3249

    March 18, 2026 at 9:03 am

    Unfortunately, this video is describing the most ideal version of surrogacy whilst glossing over the huge variance of legal regulations and experiences held outside this rather small box.

    “There’s an idea that lesser protections in countries where surrogacy is cheaper. You just have to vouch for the integrity of your own experience!” That’s it?The avoidance of a genuine, honest discussion is borderline eerie.

    • @beckyboo5142

      March 18, 2026 at 9:42 am

      Maybe she meant that part as what the questioner’s reply could be to the people who were judging them. Like, they don’t owe a whole ethical discussion on the ins and outs of their decision to the coworker who has been giving them side-eye.

    • @hansan3249

      March 18, 2026 at 9:57 am

      Yes that’s probably the case, but imo she should have elaborated on that subject more because of how deeply relevant it is (it’s one of the primary reasons the industry is criticized) instead of glossing over it in preference for the small picture of surrogacy she is painting.

  36. @Elora445

    March 18, 2026 at 9:44 am

    I’m a European who thinks surrogacy should be legal. If the screenings behind it would be a rigorous as she made them sound, then I see no problem behind it. Not everyone can carry a pregnancy and need help with it, that’s why. Why should there be laws to prevent that? That’s just wrong.

  37. @gambinova1072

    March 18, 2026 at 10:30 am

    While I find this topic interesting, I still can’t understand how this is ethically normalized nowadays.

    • @KA-in6sx

      March 19, 2026 at 2:01 pm

      What’s not to understand? It’s not rocket science lol

  38. @Fira21

    March 18, 2026 at 12:24 pm

    Ngl I had not considered that screened surrogates would be people who’ve already had pregnancies before. It makes sense! But I had never thought about it. There’s a lot more safeguards in place than I knew and that’s honestly wonderful to discover.

  39. @hibouette6299

    March 18, 2026 at 1:55 pm

    this is simply an undisclosed advertisement for this lady’s company, she is not even addressing neutrally or truthfully questions that don’t support her narrative about surrogacy

    • @saltycrunch

      March 18, 2026 at 1:58 pm

      💯 Neutrality is truly nonexistent in this video.

    • @ankyfire

      March 20, 2026 at 9:39 am

      What’s the name of her company? Can’t tell? NOT AN AD

    • @saltycrunch

      March 20, 2026 at 12:58 pm

      @ankyfire Most of us are capable of reading the first words of the video description: ”
      Psychologist, author and Senior Partner at Growing Generations Kim Bergman”. The name of her company is where she’s a senior partner. This is an ad.

  40. @pasivski

    March 18, 2026 at 1:56 pm

    Every child had a right to a parent, but not every parent to a child.

    • @t00194

      March 20, 2026 at 7:14 am

      I’m not sure what you are trying to express here. Which people do you think don’t have a right to a child?

  41. @TheSkinnyZ

    March 18, 2026 at 2:11 pm

    She seems to really know her ish! 🙌🏼

  42. @TheMaryam16

    March 18, 2026 at 3:17 pm

    4:02 is this an ad? The dr seems biased

  43. @TheMaryam16

    March 18, 2026 at 4:04 pm

    23:41 hm I don’t know about this one

  44. @soledad221

    March 18, 2026 at 5:01 pm

    The contract says this, the contract says that… they’re talking about a baby and a pregnant woman as if it were a real estate transaction.

  45. @Katshuri

    March 18, 2026 at 5:08 pm

    My ex girlfriend and I grew up next door to eachother. I knew she was a surrogate birth before she did (overheard my mom tell my dad after she learned it). I thought she knew, but she found out when were together (in her early 20s) and really struggled with it. She was so mad when she “admitted” this to me and I was like “I know, who cares?”😬😅

  46. @kellyenders-tharp6013

    March 18, 2026 at 5:43 pm

    You had the perfect person answering these questions; Kim is amazing! As a 3x surrogate who helped 3 couples have 5 babies through gestational surrogacy “back in the day” and now has worked at Growing Generations for 13 years supporting women through their own journeys, I LOVE that so much information was shared. Giving people the information they need to make an educated decision for themselves/their families is such a gift.

    • @lisaf938

      March 21, 2026 at 5:28 pm

      Thank you for your part. ❤❤❤

  47. @chastiana

    March 18, 2026 at 6:00 pm

    It wasn’t until last year that I had ever heard that people found surrogacy to be problematic. I was so surprised….

  48. @catherinejarvis4805

    March 18, 2026 at 7:32 pm

    This cleared up a lot of misconceptions I had! Very informative video!

  49. @idancealways4ever440

    March 18, 2026 at 8:08 pm

    Loved this! So much I did not know it was such a rigorous process to become a surrogate. Incredible.

  50. @2bleushadow

    March 18, 2026 at 8:34 pm

    I would’ve been interested to hear her commentary on that crazy California case with the 15 kids. I love that some of the surrogates are suing for custody, such a dramatic and unforseen change to their current lives but like she said surrogates are incredibly generous people. 💓

  51. @evabakker

    March 19, 2026 at 5:23 am

    Wow, she’s so smart, really good at communicating without judgment.

  52. @PS2Haver

    March 19, 2026 at 9:57 am

    This is a really fascinating topic handled very professionally. Thank you for this one.

  53. @angelicacamilo9170

    March 19, 2026 at 11:08 am

    Mm I’m i wrong for thinking that the pot of gold at the end of the pregnancy CAN be money for the surrogate??? Like being pregnant is a taxing and dangerous condition, and would like to be compensated for it, regardless of whether I feel “good” about helping the interested parents

  54. @linahh.2020

    March 19, 2026 at 2:52 pm

    I wouldn’t get pregnant again for a million billion dollars

  55. @linahh.2020

    March 19, 2026 at 2:57 pm

    Gestational carrier feels dehumanizing

  56. @just_jingles

    March 19, 2026 at 3:21 pm

    I can’t believe the pay is so low for surrogacy, holy wow. Interesting!

  57. @rum1093

    March 19, 2026 at 6:48 pm

    such a shame that it’s illegal in Italy..

  58. @Bubbles_552

    March 19, 2026 at 8:25 pm

    I think another great option that people dont talk about enough is adopting, there’s so many children in need of families

    • @t00194

      March 20, 2026 at 7:17 am

      People do absolutely talk about adoption, it’s not an underrated or suppressed topic. This is a surrogacy video though, so understandably, the focus is not on adoption.

  59. @jonathancorcio3668

    March 19, 2026 at 9:04 pm

    Surrogacy aka rent a womb..

  60. @ariannasantina

    March 20, 2026 at 1:43 am

    uh yea for real id think NOT paying a surrogate is exploiting them more than literally givin someone 75000 dollars to carry a baby.

  61. @fleuramantia8012

    March 20, 2026 at 12:23 pm

    So glad surrogacy is outlawed in my country (France): What an abject abuse of women’s bodies

  62. @Nessaface02

    March 20, 2026 at 2:34 pm

    The issue I have is that we are not talking about what this does to the baby. I guess I also don’t understand how this isn’t selling your body or selling a child like it’s weird. I think this describes the perfect legal situation. My husband is becoming a lawyer and we talked at length about how this practice is insane. We are making having a child a legal binding contractual issue. It’s a practice that should not exist.

  63. @Ydeozx

    March 21, 2026 at 12:45 am

    I genuinely cannot imagine how surrogates do it. I fostered a litter of cats and was heartbroken to let them go even to good homes. Being able to do that is amazing. You should get a trophy for each surrogacy.

  64. @Lerenarddanslabergerie

    March 21, 2026 at 8:22 am

    As someone who works with transplants patients, I want to say that we will do the same for people who are pressured (or feel pressured) in living organ donation. Just say you don’t want to do it, and we will say you have a contraindication, or that you are not compatible.

    • @abbyblack

      March 23, 2026 at 5:30 pm

      People don’t pay for organ donation tho, they do pay the gestational carrier

  65. @emosupportanimal

    March 21, 2026 at 1:26 pm

    Yeah this video is already weird

  66. @invox_in_your_inbox

    March 22, 2026 at 6:38 pm

    First. World. Problems.

  67. @ClaraSnapsmoore

    March 22, 2026 at 11:55 pm

    My husband and I met with this company for surrogacy and they are truly so loving and kind. Excited for our journey with them.

  68. @luticia

    March 23, 2026 at 6:40 am

    She is definitely a pro.

  69. @luticia

    March 23, 2026 at 9:26 am

    I could never offer this service because I would connect to the baby within me so very much.

  70. @jamilacarvalho

    March 23, 2026 at 2:21 pm

    This was one of the most enlightening videos I’ve ever watched on this channel. Thanks a lot!

  71. @graymccarty9800

    March 23, 2026 at 10:51 pm

    I need this lady in my life always and forever.

    • @saltycrunch

      March 25, 2026 at 1:11 pm

      What a weird thing to say. Hopefully you’re just a bot.

  72. @mats460

    March 24, 2026 at 6:34 pm

    There’s really not much thought being given to the child of surrogacy here, which is interesting since they are the only non-consenting individual in this sale.

    I appreciate the professionalism and intelligence of this expert, I do get frustrated that their response to attachment issues of surrogate babies was “I don’t see it.” Would’ve appreciated actually hearing the studies she referenced claiming there’s not an issue there.

  73. @imkakashisbabe15

    March 24, 2026 at 9:05 pm

    Maybe the surrogate didn’t bond with the baby but what about the baby bonding with the surrogate?

  74. @denizguneren8495

    March 25, 2026 at 8:58 am

    I have absolute respect for the opinions & choices of everyone, each to their own. Just personally, surrogacy would’ve been so incredibly difficult for me. The whole experience of pregnancy, giving birth, breastfeeding (if possible) is an irreplaceable part of having a child. Those memories are for life. Also, no matter how much you would trust your surrogate, it might still feel incredibly hard not to be able to manage that process (as in how is she taking care of herself, if she’s drinking, smoking, etc etc). Then again I’m a worried person in general so perhaps I’m overreacting, I don’t know. I just wish every single person (who will be a proper parent) out there who wants to have children to be able to have them in any way they choose to. It’s one of life’s greatest gifts ❤
    (By proper, I mean a good kind person who will always love and take care of their child).

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Nessa Barrett Answers The Web’s Most Searched Questions | WIRED

Nessa Barrett visits WIRED to answer her most searched questions on Google. Why is Nessa Barrett called Baby Cowboy? What tattoos does Nessa Barrett have? What is on Nessa Barrett’s FYP? What does Nessa Barrett struggle with? Answers to these questions and many more await on Nessa Barrett’s WIRED Autocomplete Interview. #NessaBarrett #Music #WIRED Still…

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Nessa Barrett visits WIRED to answer her most searched questions on Google. Why is Nessa Barrett called Baby Cowboy? What tattoos does Nessa Barrett have? What is on Nessa Barrett’s FYP? What does Nessa Barrett struggle with? Answers to these questions and many more await on Nessa Barrett’s WIRED Autocomplete Interview.

#NessaBarrett #Music #WIRED

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