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What Successful Negotiators Do Differently | Kathryn Valentine | TED

Studies show that women negotiate just as frequently as men — so why do they succeed half as often? With wit and humor, business consultant Kathryn Valentine unpacks the gender expectations of workplace negotiations, offering a clear equation for anyone looking to make a successful ask and get what they want. (Recorded at TEDxSugar Creek…

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Studies show that women negotiate just as frequently as men — so why do they succeed half as often? With wit and humor, business consultant Kathryn Valentine unpacks the gender expectations of workplace negotiations, offering a clear equation for anyone looking to make a successful ask and get what they want. (Recorded at TEDxSugar Creek Women on May 10, 2025)

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34 Comments

34 Comments

  1. @HipaaqIbrahim

    February 5, 2026 at 12:02 pm

    First one🎉😊

  2. @EnglishSpeakingchatgbt

    February 5, 2026 at 12:02 pm

    First😊

  3. @contentmultiverse

    February 5, 2026 at 12:06 pm

    Alright…

  4. @PallabSingha-x6l

    February 5, 2026 at 12:06 pm

    2nd

  5. @saleembashapb4339

    February 5, 2026 at 12:19 pm

    I like negotiation 😂

  6. @AbdulMotalebSalim-s2u

    February 5, 2026 at 12:23 pm

    🔎📖🔍📖🌍📖🕸️📖👨‍🦯👩‍🦯

    • @ExistentialWolf

      February 5, 2026 at 12:45 pm

      Stick with charm char char hahahahahaha

  7. @AbdulMotalebSalim-s2u

    February 5, 2026 at 12:23 pm

    future 🌍🌍🌍

    • @dougewald243

      February 5, 2026 at 3:49 pm

      And now TED has sunk to level of so many other bs YT videos by using a very misleading title.

      This is NOT about the title – its about women.

      Shame on TED.

      You used to be good.

  8. @cmdr-crimbo

    February 5, 2026 at 12:32 pm

    Please please give the idiots Trump and Witkoff a call to teach them.

  9. @j.dontmatta

    February 5, 2026 at 12:33 pm

    Why not get a real negotiator like Trump? Then I’ll listen.

  10. @JPRGAMING07

    February 5, 2026 at 12:35 pm

    X money is going to change all banks elonmusk new project

  11. @blackstarmaster

    February 5, 2026 at 12:44 pm

    Hey girl! What on earth all of this has to do with gender? Du you even imagine how boys have to learn all of these hidden formulas the hard way?
    Real world is not build out of sugar! Btw congrats you figured out this formula, only it always applied for men and women equally.

    Please dont push girls into the believe they are victims of their gender – thats your responsibility. With such speeches, things are actually getting worse

    • @ExistentialWolf

      February 5, 2026 at 12:46 pm

      We have a ruler trust us!

  12. @blackstarmaster

    February 5, 2026 at 12:44 pm

    Hey girl! What on earth all of this has to do with gender? Can you even imagine how boys have to learn all of these hidden formulas the hard way?
    Real world is not build out of sugar! Btw congrats you figured out this formula, only it always applied for men and women equally.

    Please dont push girls into the believe they are victims of their gender – thats your responsibility. With such speeches, things are actually getting worse

    • @Beakedbyaswan

      February 7, 2026 at 5:49 am

      Ye but shes needs a niche to sell better

  13. @Neovince07

    February 5, 2026 at 12:46 pm

    Ted talks is a joke. Stop posting. Nobody wants to watch or hear self important people lecturing us on anything

    • @GotGaMeR

      February 5, 2026 at 2:56 pm

      I mean this one isn’t the best but if you dislike them so much, I guess stop watching; nobody is forcing you lol

  14. @paltryproductions7017

    February 5, 2026 at 12:50 pm

    DONALD J (oker) TRUMP Is The Worst Negotiator When It Comes To Tariffs 😂😂😂

    • @TheCEOClass

      February 6, 2026 at 3:01 am

      LOL

  15. @sledgehammer-productions

    February 5, 2026 at 2:57 pm

    Does the gender of the person on the other side of the table matter as well? The cliche that women sometimes are not helpful to other women?

  16. @MrFleem

    February 5, 2026 at 3:01 pm

    This might need some adjustment if your environment isn’t corpo.

  17. @wnh79

    February 5, 2026 at 3:47 pm

    This lady presents like ai from the future.

  18. @RyanDB

    February 5, 2026 at 3:54 pm

    I hate that she’s blaming herself for the coordinator she “offended” being an oversensitive, misogynistic control freak.

    But, also, isn’t the amazing, special strategy she’s describing just…. basic manners for how you ask your boss for something? I can’t imagine walking into someone’s office and just demanding something without justifying why I deserve it. Not unless I was so sick of the situation that I was prepared to walk right there and then.

  19. @lovelybbo123

    February 5, 2026 at 6:57 pm

    땡큐땡큐~~

  20. @WisdomBeacon

    February 5, 2026 at 7:40 pm

    This relational ask formula is a game changer for women everywhere.

  21. @ゆうやん-n6m

    February 5, 2026 at 10:37 pm

    0:20
    0:25
    0:45
    0:52

  22. @drophy

    February 6, 2026 at 2:17 am

    Something feels a bit off with that story… can’t help but wonder what she did / say to go from crushing the internship to getting escorted out of the building in so little time lol. Not saying it was necessarily her fault, it could also be the coordinator’s fault, but I’d hardly call that “the average negotiation experience” and would bet that had little to do with gender and more to do with either of the 2

    That said, the negotiation strat seems reasonable. I can totally relate to “negotiating against myself” just due to being scared I might be asking for too much, worried I don’t deserve it, not wanting to bother the other person, etc.

  23. @WajdanTranscriptionService

    February 6, 2026 at 2:34 am

    Wow—this talk really hits hard, and not just because of the humor (though the “VIP seat on the sidewalk” line made me laugh out loud). What really resonates is how systemic the problem is: women aren’t failing at negotiation because we’re “less assertive,” we’re failing because the rules were literally built for someone else. That idea of a “relational ask” is genius—it reframes negotiation from a power struggle to a collaborative conversation, and it’s so practical.

    I’m curious, though: in workplaces that still have deeply ingrained biases, do you think this formula is enough to overcome structural hurdles, or is it more of a tool for women who already have some leverage? How do we pair these negotiation strategies with systemic change so it’s not just “work smarter within a broken system”?

  24. @reznovvb525

    February 6, 2026 at 3:05 am

    No clue why this has to do with gender – seems like great overall advice regardless of one’s gender

    • @poweredman

      February 6, 2026 at 8:36 pm

      It has nothing to do with gender, she just needs to make her research/product have a niche so it sells better.

  25. @AlbisFotos

    February 6, 2026 at 5:56 am

    Wow, what a mesmerizing pile of rubbish. Starting from the incredibly self-serving assumption that all she did wrong was to defy the partiarchy (so you immediately root for her, right? But how many normal conversations about expanding professional responsiblities end up with someone being immediately thrown on the street? Perhaps there is more to this story than what the speaker is sharing). Moving on, to the incredible secret sauce formula that will allow women (specifically, not men, hey!) to finally defy the patriarchy – asking for the means to get a team win rather than for a handout. Wow! You heard it here first! If this wasn’t workplace negotiation 101 it would be mind blowing! Shame on this speaker and even more on TED for putting her on a stage.

  26. @DanaFarro

    February 6, 2026 at 8:15 am

    this is really amazing

  27. @happykillmore349

    February 7, 2026 at 2:12 pm

    Sike! It’s just sexist clickbait…

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