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When you stop living by others’ rules, you create your own #TEDTalks

When filmmaker Desiree Akhavan told her Iranian immigrant parents she was in love with a woman, she knew they would object. She explains why it’s worth the risk to let people get to know the real you.

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When filmmaker Desiree Akhavan told her Iranian immigrant parents she was in love with a woman, she knew they would object. She explains why it’s worth the risk to let people get to know the real you.

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20 Comments

20 Comments

  1. @MinervaPLC

    December 21, 2025 at 2:46 pm

    ❤❤

  2. @monopolizedopamine

    December 21, 2025 at 2:50 pm

    Well stated and I agree.

  3. @erdemasci5699

    December 21, 2025 at 2:55 pm

    Turkce alt yazi yok

  4. @dougewald243

    December 21, 2025 at 3:13 pm

    Let’s define our terms.
    TED:
    Technology
    Entertainment
    Design
    Incase you didn’t know that’s exactly what it stands for.

    So – wtf does this subject have to do with TED?

    Answer – absolutely nothing.

    And therefore TED continues to chip away at & undermine its own credibility.

    Well done once again TED.

    • @nikiTricoteuse

      December 21, 2025 at 3:32 pm

      I don’t know this woman or her story but, she says coming out and becoming (temporarily) alienated from her family turned her into a writer and, if l’ve understood correctly, a film maker. Both those things slot squarely into the entertainment sphere so, perhaps you need to reevaluate the reasons for your dislike of this woman and her TED talk..

    • @jonnanderson6489

      December 21, 2025 at 3:39 pm

      @nikiTricoteuse Some people awake each morning with no higher aspiration than trying to make their turds stick to a wall.

    • @nikiTricoteuse

      December 21, 2025 at 3:46 pm

      ​@jonnanderson6489LOL. Great way of putting it. 😅

    • @AR-yd2nd

      December 21, 2025 at 5:48 pm

      Tbh TED has always been a joke. At least here this author is being supportive, I guess

  5. @DumpsterIdea

    December 21, 2025 at 3:20 pm

    Ted talk have really fell off 😂

    • @KingCrimson479

      December 21, 2025 at 10:31 pm

      Care to elaborate?

  6. @leahdaly1219

    December 21, 2025 at 4:37 pm

    ❤

  7. @iPadChannel

    December 21, 2025 at 9:35 pm

    To young generation who lives and depends on their parents for food, shelter, clothing and education, this advise should be taken with caution. Either this excerpt was edited out of context, or the argument is targeting young adults who can manage to live on their own. This is a very dangerous message for young minds who have rebellious tendency as this clip might validate minor’s naivety.

  8. @taylorwhitt3974

    December 22, 2025 at 12:27 am

    Either your parents can teach their views, or they can communicate with their children until a mutual understanding is reached. Anything less is disappointment- and disappointment is just the parents refusal to acknowledge something different.

    • @Jazel_dboy_isaac

      December 22, 2025 at 2:00 am

      Wow…inspiring

  9. @Jazel_dboy_isaac

    December 22, 2025 at 2:01 am

    Im a dissapointment😅

  10. @srbright

    December 22, 2025 at 6:58 am

    Yes I have experienced this before disappointing somebody results in nothing ,nothing will happen to you. ❤❤❤

  11. @SarahAlhashmy1

    December 22, 2025 at 11:15 am

    Unsubscribed

  12. @Theadventuringphilosopher

    December 22, 2025 at 11:17 am

    Sharing this

  13. @hb-d92h

    December 22, 2025 at 8:02 pm

    부모든 누구든 타인의 관념으로 자신을 옭아매지 말고 삶을 사는 자기만의 규칙을 정립해야 한다는 메시지에는 동의해요. 때로는 이런 메시지가 과도하게 받아들여지기 쉬운 면도 있어 보여요. 왜냐하면 세상에는 단순히 나의 생각으로는 바꿀 수 없는 엄연한 진리나 질서도 존재하기 때문에

  14. @daughterofzion6443

    December 23, 2025 at 2:49 am

    HONOR YOUR PARENTS, SO THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG. DON”T DISAPPOINT YOUR PARENTS BY LISTENING TO STRANGE VOICES.

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Do you avoid talking to people you disagree with? Author and mediator Emily Kasriel thinks you should try it out. She explains why engaging with ideas that bother you is one of the most powerful things you can do — and presents her framework for “deep listening” that can help you form relationships across generations, cultures and political divides.(Recorded at TED2026 on April 15, 2026)

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The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less) — plus originals, podcasts and exclusive content. Look for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design as well as science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit for our entire library, transcripts, translations and personalized recommendations.

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The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less) — plus originals, podcasts and exclusive content. Look for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design as well as science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit for our entire library, transcripts, translations and personalized recommendations.

Watch more:

TED videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with the TED Talks Usage Policy: . For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), submit a request at

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