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How to Disagree with Respect — Not Hate | Spencer J. Cox | TED

Spencer J. Cox, Republican governor of the state of Utah in the United States, says that even in these deeply polarized times, it’s still possible to disagree without hate or contempt. He shows how this idea sparked a viral campaign ad he co-created with his Democratic political opponent back in 2020 — and shares four…

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Spencer J. Cox, Republican governor of the state of Utah in the United States, says that even in these deeply polarized times, it’s still possible to disagree without hate or contempt. He shows how this idea sparked a viral campaign ad he co-created with his Democratic political opponent back in 2020 — and shares four practical things every one of us can do to heal the divides in our nations and neighborhoods. (TED is a non-partisan 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organization and does not participate or intervene in any political campaign and neither supports nor opposes any candidate for public office.)

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59 Comments

59 Comments

  1. @moxymaxx5350

    August 7, 2024 at 8:46 am

    We can’t agree to disagree if Soros is running this country. Let’s get a TED talk on Soros and the destruction of America.

  2. @learninggcn1113

    August 7, 2024 at 8:48 am

    Not hate . We need love to warm the world.

    • @Ribberflavenous

      August 7, 2024 at 9:13 am

      I am sorry, but kumbaya is not going fix this. You don’t have to hate to effect change, and you don’t have to be hateful to be resolute. Work toward common goals with other people, there is power in numbers. Oh…. AND VOTE. hehe

  3. @thailetrong1420

    August 7, 2024 at 9:08 am

    What’s the point, TED ?! Just ranting on and on abt his political campaign & thoughts or really something too deep to figure out?

    • @jonathans.9488

      August 7, 2024 at 9:45 am

      Derp.

  4. @crunchystuff3365

    August 7, 2024 at 9:39 am

    Thanks, but no thanks. Politicians on TED talks, blowing their own horn. Nope.

    • @INFJunpopularopinion

      August 7, 2024 at 10:28 am

      To be fair, unless you’re a wild animal, or FLDS, Utah is pretty Vanilla…

  5. @DogsReignSupreme

    August 7, 2024 at 10:07 am

    Wonderful!

  6. @keithbell9348

    August 7, 2024 at 10:22 am

    The one who not only exemplified, by personal example, the highest principles of human unity and love,
    is the same one who
    delivered the most famous speech in history,
    is the one whom he over looked in his delivery:
    The Sermon on the Mount
    delivered by Jesus Christ.
    It has been said
    that when world leaders learn to abide by what Jesus taught in that speech
    they would have not only resolved the issues between one another
    They will have solved all the problems that plague mankind.

    World leaders?
    Sadly- that is not going to happen.
    In this presentation he even warned us, not to look at the example of politicians.
    I will give him credit for at least trying.

  7. @MandyBB

    August 7, 2024 at 10:26 am

    I unsubscribed yesterday, but came back to check if they posted anything akin to “we saw your comments, we apologize” or at least an explanation.

    Seeing this video (whose core message is good, though it doesn’t touch on the nuances that many minorities feel like the other side wants them dead) I do wonder if they were baiting everyone to comment hate yesterday.

    Which is kinda funny because the comments were brimming with very calm “Not cool, TED” messages and barely any hate expressed against Vance. 🤔

  8. @tyrranicalt-rad6164

    August 7, 2024 at 11:08 am

    So, what ? Just because you can disagree with respect, you think you’re better than me, Huh ?!?! *Shouted in angry druken slurred speech 🤣

  9. @aaron.antczak

    August 7, 2024 at 12:11 pm

    Reading through these comments I can’t seem to understand why anyone would think this speech is anything other than positive.. strong message!

    • @Deecember16

      August 7, 2024 at 1:21 pm

      Because they posted an old talk by JD Vance this morning. They had nothing to say for years while the GOP trotted out BS accusations against Dems, like “snowflake” and “goomer” and “communist” and “Marxist” and “baby-killer” and “pedophile.” Then they start with the “let’s be kinder and gentler” after the Democrats started calling Trump and Vance “weird” and they started melting down over it. Who’s the snowflake now? It’s as if the RNC gave TED $$ to run thinly veiled campaign ads disguised as content. 🤨

    • @Deecember16

      August 7, 2024 at 1:29 pm

      Because it is thinly veiled RNC campaign ads disguised as content. They posted an old segment by JD Vance in the last several hours and stirred up a hornet’s nest. Where was this stuff when TFG was calling people names?

  10. @AgnesHoder

    August 7, 2024 at 12:19 pm

    This comment won’t get over 18 likes…

    • @Truth_explorer1

      August 7, 2024 at 5:04 pm

      I disagree with respect…

    • @rayrozga9061

      August 7, 2024 at 5:05 pm

      Probably,..,……

    • @meannush7552

      August 7, 2024 at 8:14 pm

      lets keep it that way

  11. @igorGriffiths

    August 7, 2024 at 12:47 pm

    A very timely video, with the UK media and thought leaders stirring up anger amongst their followers against their usual targets, the divisions in our society have never felt wider

    • @THE_LORD_IS_LOVE

      August 7, 2024 at 8:48 pm

      For sure

  12. @AzEagletarian

    August 7, 2024 at 12:47 pm

    Hilary Clinton was/is NOT the extreme left.

  13. @AzEagletarian

    August 7, 2024 at 12:49 pm

    Elected officials are NOT inherently OUR political leaders. They are hired servants.

  14. @rodintoulouse3054

    August 7, 2024 at 1:21 pm

    Most of these comments show that sadly too many people are not willing to even acknowledge the existence of someone that could think differently to them… let alone live alongside them 😢

  15. @lee-kazz

    August 7, 2024 at 1:24 pm

    ❤wonderful common sense

  16. @ebonyroseout

    August 7, 2024 at 1:25 pm

    I like the topic and the quotes of this Ted Talk, as Keith Lee would say, I’m not the target audience. 😴

  17. @dawnshire2069

    August 7, 2024 at 2:02 pm

    A meaningful encounter meaningful life. With cooperate and gratefulness. Success Understanding between parties. Stay focus less worry. Taste and feel life instead of data overehelming and mental disturbed. Understand, feel others just like you understand yourselves with love.

  18. @Pauete007

    August 7, 2024 at 2:35 pm

    So, If I got that right, am I supposed to love the alt right? Even when they are instigating migrant lynching in the UK right now? I’m seeing holes in your logic mate…

  19. @julianamedeiros1692

    August 7, 2024 at 3:10 pm

    Cade os brasileiros 🇧🇷

  20. @davidphilpott2487

    August 7, 2024 at 3:10 pm

    Unfortunately, I live and work surrounded by people far further right than me and spending time with them just reminds me of how nuts they are. I also don’t consider “moderation” a virtue at all. Consider how ridiculous the statements of “We should only breathe a moderate amount” or “It is important to have a moderate amount of rape” are. In general, you should either have A LOT of something or as little as possible.

    Not to mention, I have no desire to respect people who have demonstrated their desire to ruin or even END lives. And I hear this stuff from THEIR OWN MOUTHS, in person, not just from the news.

  21. @chrisweaver7401

    August 7, 2024 at 5:06 pm

    Worthwhile sentiments all. However, it was disappointing that he dismisses the idea that he, as a politician and governor of Utah, is in any way responsible for improving politics. As a Republican one party state, toxicity between the parties isn’t the problem. The toxic rhetoric lies within the Republican Party. His party. Disagreeing better still requires disagreement in the face of partisan toxicity, especially when it’s coming from within your political tribe. Why place the burden of change on the electorate as you turn a blind eye to the problem among your political peers. You have chosen to endorse Trump in the 2024 election knowing what a threat he poses. Practice what you preach. The call is coming from inside the house.

  22. @dsheridan4497

    August 7, 2024 at 6:07 pm

    He was a great governor. It’s just too bad that he now backs the extremism of MAGA. Sorry Spencer. My next vote goes to your opponent.

  23. @pnarey

    August 7, 2024 at 6:12 pm

    My main critique is I think he kind of handwaves the dangers of the right. If the left had their way right wingers would have healthcare and paid family leave. If the right got there way me and many of my friends would be dead or in concentration camps. The left shut down some campuses to protest genocide. The right is burning down hotels filled of asylum seekers to protest melanin.
    Like if someone openly admits to you that they are right wing, that’s a red flag. You should feel less safe with that person. If you wanna livee them, fine, but do it from a safe distance.

  24. @shabyvideos

    August 7, 2024 at 6:57 pm

    Bravo 👏🏽❤️

  25. @SoSoMystakn

    August 7, 2024 at 7:25 pm

    2016 election voters were manipulated; 2020 was adamant that it was stolen because it worked in 2016. Projection at its finest.

  26. @merisadelcampo8352

    August 7, 2024 at 11:05 pm

    Love this!

  27. @jfrd-pw4hk

    August 7, 2024 at 11:54 pm

    This comment section just proves Spencer Coz right. There is too much polarization in the US right now. I’m a liberal, the type that both both the right and the left hate.

  28. @servanunal185

    August 8, 2024 at 12:19 am

    7:48 Utah conservatives finnally realising the meaning of the phrase “ignorance is bliss” and audience applouds 😂😂 what a joke this society has become

  29. @Ricky-jr1pr

    August 8, 2024 at 2:35 am

    😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

  30. @etienneb4403

    August 8, 2024 at 5:25 am

    We need love and not hate, but without Russians…..

  31. @flourish_ol

    August 8, 2024 at 7:33 am

    I just want to comment on how liberating it was to see this video in a time like this

  32. @padlockeussy

    August 8, 2024 at 10:27 am

    As we always have, humans crave unity and not division.

  33. @cristianhernandez7591

    August 8, 2024 at 2:00 pm

    Hope will always win.

  34. @Jakelink-7364

    August 8, 2024 at 10:35 pm

    Nah… I want them to know I hate them too

  35. @zloungeact

    August 9, 2024 at 2:14 am

    Lisp

  36. @XeroK00L

    August 9, 2024 at 2:36 am

    Sorry but there is no way I can bring myself to respect fraud.

  37. @JSFitness

    August 9, 2024 at 8:17 am

    GOOD FOR YOU BOTH

  38. @sharonfisher3179

    August 9, 2024 at 11:51 am

    That was too much Ronald Reagan praising for me. I expect better speaker vetting from TED.

  39. @timothygalvin3021

    August 9, 2024 at 4:20 pm

    On an intellectual level i agree with this, even believe in it and want to practice it. But this feels way to theoretical and not nearly practical enough. For example, how do you get “respectful disagreement” between two people when one of them believes that it is a sin and murder to have an abortion, and believes that they need to do everything they can to protect innocent life and the other believes passionately that they have a right to do whatever they like with their body and that if someone tries to take away their right to choose aboriton they are taking away their civil rights? There is no middle ground there.

    • @LisaGelhaus

      August 11, 2024 at 4:17 am

      No. But there can be listening. And trying to understand the why’s behind their view. And parting with an agreement to still be, respectfully, in disagreement. The problem happens when we attempt to force our opinion on others’ action, expecting that THEY change because we are RIGHT. That’s when a friendly (even impassioned) debated turns into a brawl.

      We can’t change others’ opinions. It is a fact. But THEY/WE can change our own opinions if we decide to do so after understanding our own opinions better through thoughtful conversations.

      Why is this so hard to grasp? Because we let our emotions get the upper hand. We jump to thoughts of “I’m threatened”, “they are judging me” and it’s a downward spiral from there.

      Learn and teach others how to converse respectfully. It’s takes calm and self control. We should learn this as children.

    • @TheBian-ck9tz

      August 12, 2024 at 10:53 pm

      Because we can agree and disagree at the same time? That’s a very shallow take to assume that since two people starkly disagree they cannot share some middle ground on what they agree on. There are levels of depth to disagreements and issues and if you dig deep enough and are not talking to a psychopath then you will find basic things that you agree on.

    • @LisaGelhaus

      August 15, 2024 at 6:27 am

      That’s a very good point, @@TheBian-ck9tz (but you might want to take the judgement out of your language if you want to find that middle ground 😉

  40. @debveater2221

    August 9, 2024 at 5:14 pm

    Sadly, I have personally had him treat me with hate. He spoke kindly but I felt judged and labeled incorrectly. I have tried and tried to meet with him to talk about caucus, convention, and the effect on me of him using “disagree better” towards the group I was a part of. Great speaker but when asking for him to listen to me, I am too little to fit in to his schedule. Not even a response has come saying he received my letter.

  41. @sotd8372

    August 10, 2024 at 6:33 am

    Aristotle summed up “serve others and do good”
    some forms of…have even been associated with….
    improve our outlook on life
    service and volunteering help build up the community
    we can find shared identities that unite instead of divide
    it’s just stressing us out
    inaccurate views
    the perception gap

    Americans aren’t as far apart as we think we are
    it seemed like there was a hunger for architects instead of arsonists
    the American idea started to rekindle
    debate this issue without degrading each other’s character
    secure the freedom endowed to all of us from on high

    it is our solemn duty in our generation
    must rise up and meet that radical call
    he went on to say that freedom is not ours by way of inheritance
    we all become ravenous beasts of prey
    humility, patience, and moderation
    develop the classical political virtues
    look beyond our political tribes
    proximity will empower you
    media saturation overload or headline anxiety or doom-scrolling
    that always elicits a laugh
    to help heal the divides in our nations

    progressive activists and extreme conservatives
    both sides overestimate the extremism on the other side
    the divisiveness in politics
    as Americans barrel towards an election
    to alter the trajectory of the US
    a reduction in urges toward violence
    we can disagree without hate and contempt
    were talking and lementing
    with the election less than two months away

  42. @larrybreyer4066

    August 10, 2024 at 10:32 am

    The reason many people support Donald Trump is because they have seen this “nice guy” approach towards the Democrats is suicide. It is this very approach that destroyed Mitt Romney’s campaign in 2012. Four years of Barack Obama was proof putting a man who hates America in the presidency was folly. I am not going to surrender my freedoms so some politician can feel good about himself.

  43. @Origin06

    August 11, 2024 at 5:37 am

    すこい

  44. @chaserandazzo3738

    August 11, 2024 at 9:32 pm

    🙏✨💜

  45. @gwonchanjasonyoon8087

    August 13, 2024 at 4:34 am

    No popular vote?

  46. @Gideonslc

    August 14, 2024 at 4:50 pm

    I actually really like this talk. It’s regrettable that he didn’t see how he undercut this message with his vicarious umbrage & offense for Jesus in the Olympic games opening ceremony. He helped feed more bias & disinformation in our home state.

    What’s missing from his talk, and follow through in Olympics is how much it’s needed for those with political authority to measure their mistakes and appropriately apologize. “I’m sorry. I was wrong. I misrepresented [x] and that’s on me. The truth is [y.] As important as it is to disagree better, it is to retract misinformation and repair mistakes. A person’s character isn’t found in their mistakes like it is in what they are willing to do to correct them.

    If he has issued a retraction and I’ve missed it, it is my mistake that I haven’t seen it. If he hasn’t then I continue to wait for it. That which you’re unwilling to defend, explain, or retract simply shouldn’t be part of our national or state politics. Imagine how it would change the discourse if politicians were expected to issue retraction & apology whenever they misrepresented their opponent. Or if when misrepresenting their history they had to correct the record.

  47. @sherrychen9050

    August 16, 2024 at 12:42 am

    Yes we all need this spirit of liberty. In my country all I can see is divisiveness in party campaigns or tv shows discrediting opponents!

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