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Always Bring Your Whole Self (w/ Heather Havrilesky) | How to Be a Better Human, a TED Podcast

Heather Havrilesky is the author of the book Foreverland: On the Divine Tedium of Marriage. She’s also the writer behind the advice columns “Ask Polly,” and “Ask Molly,” which is written by Polly’s mischievous alterego. In this episode, Heather and Chris navigate how to showcase your whole self – even if it means embracing the…

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1 year ago

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Heather Havrilesky is the author of the book Foreverland: On the Divine Tedium of Marriage. She’s also the writer behind the advice columns “Ask Polly,” and “Ask Molly,” which is written by Polly’s mischievous alterego. In this episode, Heather and Chris navigate how to showcase your whole self – even if it means embracing the messy parts – and how leaning into contradictions can make you happier and healthier. They also discuss how most people’s twenties are a disaster, how to write in a way that feels true, and why it’s necessary to laugh at your own ridiculousness.

This is an episode of TED’s How to Be a Better Human podcast. Listen on your favorite podcast app:

For the full text transcript, visit go.ted.com/BHTranscripts

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#TED #TEDTalks #Podcast #HowToBeABetterHuman

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13 Comments

13 Comments

  1. @Sveta-r5n

    June 11, 2025 at 11:09 am

    Hi I love you

    Reply

    • @AayushiRohilla

      June 11, 2025 at 11:44 am

      Thank you 😅

      Reply

  2. @anasabidi662

    June 11, 2025 at 11:11 am

    Like if ronaldo is the best player in the history of football

    Reply

  3. @sooma-ai

    June 11, 2025 at 11:11 am

    Heather Havrilesky discusses embracing your whole self, including contradictions and flaws. She explores writing authentically, balancing personal and public personas, and resisting pressure to become a simplified brand. Havrilesky advocates for bringing your full self to everything you do to find greater happiness and satisfaction.

    Reply

  4. @TrườngTranvan-t4i

    June 11, 2025 at 11:30 am

    *Anyone in 2013?* 💖

    Reply

    • @AayushiRohilla

      June 11, 2025 at 11:44 am

      Feaking bots 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

      Reply

  5. @RoelCandaele

    June 11, 2025 at 11:47 am

    True 😘💓🫶

    Reply

  6. @LadyJ1111

    June 11, 2025 at 12:00 pm

    HEATHER!!!!!! polly molly icon !!!

    Reply

  7. @LadyJ1111

    June 11, 2025 at 12:01 pm

    heather i adore you. thank you for putting so much love into your work. you have helped me navigate so many different parts of my life. i adore ya

    Reply

  8. @Islaras

    June 11, 2025 at 1:53 pm

    omg my favorite living writer!!

    Reply

  9. @mozchick2

    June 11, 2025 at 2:22 pm

    Listening to this woman talk for just 10 minutes I already wanted to buy her book. Shes so genuine and admits to not being perfect which is rare and refreshing. She genuinely seems like a person I would want to be.

    Reply

  10. @mcricket3326

    June 11, 2025 at 2:27 pm

    I want Urdu caption
    Big audience 230 millions people understand urdu

    Reply

  11. @BusinessTacticsDaily

    June 11, 2025 at 9:27 pm

    Are we truly being ourselves when we’re constantly trying to meet society’s expectations? Heather Havleski suggests that sometimes, embracing imperfection is the key to happiness. What do you think about living without worrying about others’ judgments? Share your thoughts below!

    Reply

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People & Blogs

Why I’m Building Libraries Inside Prisons | Reginald Dwayne Betts | TED

At age 16, Reginald Dwayne Betts was sentenced to nine years in prison. He turned to books to help hold onto his sanity — and developed a belief that we find what we look for, even in the toughest places. Now a lawyer and poet, he’s opened hundreds of Freedom Libraries inside prisons across the…

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October 15, 2026

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At age 16, Reginald Dwayne Betts was sentenced to nine years in prison. He turned to books to help hold onto his sanity — and developed a belief that we find what we look for, even in the toughest places. Now a lawyer and poet, he’s opened hundreds of Freedom Libraries inside prisons across the US, putting books he once dreamed of reading into the hands of incarcerated people. In this profound talk, he makes the case that hope is something people pass on to one another. “We put millions of people in prison. I would put millions of books inside,” he says. (Recorded at TED2026 on April 16, 2026)

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The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less) — plus originals, podcasts and exclusive content. Look for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design as well as science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit for our entire library, transcripts, translations and personalized recommendations.

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#TED #TEDTalks #SocialChange

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People & Blogs

How the Wealth Gap Is Reshaping Politics | Xochitl Gonzalez | TED

Wealth inequality gets talked about as an economic problem. Writer Xochitl Gonzalez makes the case that it’s a civic one, too — a slow, quiet threat to democracy. Drawing on her research into the psychology of social class, she shows how growing up with (or without) money changes how we experience politics, community and society.…

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3 days ago

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October 13, 2026

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Wealth inequality gets talked about as an economic problem. Writer Xochitl Gonzalez makes the case that it’s a civic one, too — a slow, quiet threat to democracy. Drawing on her research into the psychology of social class, she shows how growing up with (or without) money changes how we experience politics, community and society. (Recorded at TED Democracy Philadelphia on June 13, 2026)

Join us in person at a TED conference:
Become a TED Member to support our mission:
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Follow TED!
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The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less) — plus originals, podcasts and exclusive content. Look for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design as well as science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit for our entire library, transcripts, translations and personalized recommendations.

Watch more:

TED videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with the TED Talks Usage Policy: . For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), submit a request at

#TED #TEDTalks #Psychology

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People & Blogs

The original cosmic hit #TEDTalks

What sound came after the Big Bang? Astronomer Mark Whittle takes us back to the infant cosmos, where massive sound waves pulsed through primordial gas in a pattern that’s still traceable across the universe today. Working with sound artist Ander Mikalson and composer Caroline Shaw, he turns those ancient tones into a glorious, awe-inspiring choral…

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4 days ago

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October 12, 2026

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What sound came after the Big Bang? Astronomer Mark Whittle takes us back to the infant cosmos, where massive sound waves pulsed through primordial gas in a pattern that’s still traceable across the universe today. Working with sound artist Ander Mikalson and composer Caroline Shaw, he turns those ancient tones into a glorious, awe-inspiring choral work.

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