People & Blogs

Always Bring Your Whole Self (w/ Heather Havrilesky) | How to Be a Better Human, a TED Podcast

Published

1 year ago

June 11, 2025

Heather Havrilesky is the author of the book Foreverland: On the Divine Tedium of Marriage. She’s also the writer behind the advice columns “Ask Polly,” and “Ask Molly,” which is written by Polly’s mischievous alterego. In this episode, Heather and Chris navigate how to showcase your whole self – even if it means embracing the messy parts – and how leaning into contradictions can make you happier and healthier. They also discuss how most people’s twenties are a disaster, how to write in a way that feels true, and why it’s necessary to laugh at your own ridiculousness.

This is an episode of TED’s How to Be a Better Human podcast. Listen on your favorite podcast app:

For the full text transcript, visit go.ted.com/BHTranscripts

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Related Topics:featured How to be a better human Podcast TED TED podcast TED Talk TED Talks TEDTalk TEDTalks

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13 Comments

@Sveta-r5n

June 11, 2025 at 11:09 am

Hi I love you

Reply
- @AayushiRohilla
  
  June 11, 2025 at 11:44 am
  
  Thank you 😅
  
  Reply
@anasabidi662

June 11, 2025 at 11:11 am

Like if ronaldo is the best player in the history of football

Reply
@sooma-ai

June 11, 2025 at 11:11 am

Heather Havrilesky discusses embracing your whole self, including contradictions and flaws. She explores writing authentically, balancing personal and public personas, and resisting pressure to become a simplified brand. Havrilesky advocates for bringing your full self to everything you do to find greater happiness and satisfaction.

Reply
@TrườngTranvan-t4i

June 11, 2025 at 11:30 am

*Anyone in 2013?* 💖

Reply
- @AayushiRohilla
  
  June 11, 2025 at 11:44 am
  
  Feaking bots 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
  
  Reply
@RoelCandaele

June 11, 2025 at 11:47 am

True 😘💓🫶

Reply
@LadyJ1111

June 11, 2025 at 12:00 pm

HEATHER!!!!!! polly molly icon !!!

Reply
@LadyJ1111

June 11, 2025 at 12:01 pm

heather i adore you. thank you for putting so much love into your work. you have helped me navigate so many different parts of my life. i adore ya

Reply
@Islaras

June 11, 2025 at 1:53 pm

omg my favorite living writer!!

Reply
@mozchick2

June 11, 2025 at 2:22 pm

Listening to this woman talk for just 10 minutes I already wanted to buy her book. Shes so genuine and admits to not being perfect which is rare and refreshing. She genuinely seems like a person I would want to be.

Reply
@mcricket3326

June 11, 2025 at 2:27 pm

I want Urdu caption
Big audience 230 millions people understand urdu

Reply
@BusinessTacticsDaily

June 11, 2025 at 9:27 pm

Are we truly being ourselves when we’re constantly trying to meet society’s expectations? Heather Havleski suggests that sometimes, embracing imperfection is the key to happiness. What do you think about living without worrying about others’ judgments? Share your thoughts below!

Reply

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The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less) — plus originals, podcasts and exclusive content. Look for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design as well as science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit for our entire library, transcripts, translations and personalized recommendations.

TED videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with the TED Talks Usage Policy: . For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), submit a request at

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