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The emotions behind your money habits | Robert A. Belle

Visit to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more. Your money habits reveal a lot about you: your hopes, fears, dreams and other deep personal truths you may not even be aware of, says accountant Robert A. Belle. He shares how taking stock of your transaction history can…

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Visit to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more.

Your money habits reveal a lot about you: your hopes, fears, dreams and other deep personal truths you may not even be aware of, says accountant Robert A. Belle. He shares how taking stock of your transaction history can unlock surprisingly valuable insights about what drives you to spend (and save) — and provides practical tips on how to perform an “emotional audit” of your expenses.

The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design — plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. You’re welcome to link to or embed these videos, forward them to others and share these ideas with people you know.

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Transcriber:

I am an accountant with a numbers problem.

I mean, I’m good with numbers
and using them to report what’s happening,

but I’m also concerned
with the full story behind those numbers,

the part that gets lost in translation,

the part that numbers can’t quite tell,

the story that goes deeper

than mere strategies
for saving and earning money.

And without that story,
I don’t think I’m doing my job well.

That’s why I’ve dedicated my career

to figuring out how my work
as an accountant

can tell stories about people,

stories that will ultimately
help them improve their lives.

Let me explain.

It all started when someone told me,
“You’re obsessed with chocolate.”

And I was like, “What? No, I’m not.”

But then I wondered, could I be
in denial about my own obsession?

Was I actually spending a lot of money
on chocolate but blind to it?

Well, here was a chance
for me to test this theory.

Using my accountant lens,

off I went tracking
my spending on chocolate —

and there it was,

my love for chocolate.

I was spending about 50 dollars
a month on chocolate,

especially in months
when I was overstressed

and months when I was overjoyed.

Analyzing my expenses
helped me to understand

that I had an emotional pattern
where when I’m struggling or celebrating,

I binge on chocolate.

I had struggled with my weight
for a very long time

and I was convinced
that my diet was not the problem.

I was convinced that it was
my lack of effort in exercise,

and certainly not chocolate.

Tracking my spending on chocolate, though,

helped me realize that I was afraid
of facing myself in the mirror,

literally and figuratively,

and that I lack the courage
to deal with the real problem, my diet.

So I continued to exercise,

but devoted less time to it

and instead shifted my focus and energy
towards developing a more healthful diet.

That year I lost 50 pounds.

Our relationship with money
represents our relationship with life.

The accounting
of my own chocolate behavior

told me the story of my own denial.

I realized that perhaps
I could also help my clients

see what they were overlooking
in their own lives

and help them realize
their own emotional patterns

through their tracking and spending
of their expenses.

So I started to pay close attention
to the story behind my clients’ expenses

that may be hidden to them.

One of my clients, a critical care nurse,

was convinced that
her personal budget was reasonable

and expenses justifiable.

She had struggled to build up her savings

and I noticed that she had
minimal records of her expenses.

I suggested to her
that her lack of savings

could be due to more
than just a gap in her financial knowledge

and offered to help identify the problem.

I encouraged her to start tracking
and charting her expenses.

After a few months,
her financial records revealed

that most of her spending
was on expensive clothing and shoes.

As we sat together,
she was genuinely surprised

to see just how much of her budget
was going towards fashion.

She remarked, “Wow, these are
impulsive purchases, aren’t they?

I guess I didn’t realize that.”

She analyzed further
and realized that she was buying clothes

in an attempt to impress
and appear successful to her friends.

And also when her confidence was low,
buying clothes temporarily boosted it.

She told me that buying clothing
was her attempt

to find meaning in life and feel valued.

She sighed, and she set a goal
for herself and her finances.

Six months later, she called me
to tell me she had saved a bunch of money

by reducing her spending on shopping

and instead choosing to exercise
when she felt the urge to shop.

She’s much happier around her friends.

Three years later,
home ownership is on the horizon.

Sometimes, though,

charting expenses
may not reveal something specific,

as a chocolate addiction
or shopping problem,

but what it reveals
can be just as valuable.

A marketing strategist
and upcoming musician

needed help with her taxes.

When I met with her, I immediately
took note of the fear in her face

as she looked through
her records and expenses.

I checked in with her
and she expressed to me

that some things in her life
didn’t quite seem to work out,

including her relationships.

She was afraid of facing how much money
she was about to lose after taxes.

As we continued talking
about her finances,

she started to notice a connection
between her fear of losing money

and her fear of losing relationships.

She went on to tell me that she was
afraid of committing to anyone

because she didn’t want to get hurt.

She expressed that she had not been
close to anyone in over seven years

because she feared failure.

And maybe she might have
an avoidance strategy

around both her money
and her relationships.

It’s been six years since I first
help her chart her finances,

and she’s still consistently
keeping up with her spreadsheet.

As she confronted her personal accounting

and grew her savings in advance
of each tax season,

she developed less fear of loss
and grew more open to relationships.

She tells me that she even has the courage

to walk away from a relationship
when it’s not serving her.

She recently told me,

“My spreadsheet is basically
a story of my life’s progression

and I can see it through the numbers.”

I believe we can all do this type of audit
of our own financial behavior

and that we can learn
surprising things about ourselves

through tracking
and charting our expenses.

Here’s how.

Number one, take a look
at your bank statement

for the last six months

and categorize the expenses by type

for a more holistic view.

For example,

your spending on shopping
versus transport versus entertainment.

Number two, when an expensive
pattern emerges,

see what that pattern says about yourself.

Be curious and inquisitive.

At first, it may not be that obvious,

but asking yourself what led you
to make that choice in a given moment

can provide some clues.

Do you buy pizza every Wednesday night

because that’s when you’re too tired
to cook after a stressful weekly meeting?

Number three, observe
if there are any line items

that you are shocked by
in terms of value or volume

and see what patterns emerge.

For example, did you buy
that new smartphone

just before a major function or event

so that your friends would notice?

Or do you tell yourself
you only take taxis late at night,

but then realize that you’re taking
way more taxes every month

than you thought?

Are you working late
more than you thought?

There’s so much that we can
learn about ourselves

if we take the time to look.

And sometimes our money knows us
better than we know ourselves.

Tracking our finances
can reveal what we are in denial of,

our hidden biases,

our fears and what
might be holding us back.

Though it can be difficult
and uncomfortable

to take a good, hard look
at our financial behavior,

it can reveal some deep emotional truths.

Some truths that can help us
re-evaluate our careers,

our relationships and our priorities.

So give it a try.
The payoff could be huge.

Thank you.

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91 Comments

91 Comments

  1. Lori Hunterzeigler

    July 28, 2021 at 4:14 pm

    Money doesn’t cause money problems! Best thing I learned at an early age.

  2. Meet The Tech

    July 28, 2021 at 4:43 pm

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  3. Frances Bernard

    July 28, 2021 at 4:53 pm

    The principles talked about in this video are reliable soon after they are employed. For example after only 5 minutes of watching this video now I know why I am so addicted to coffee. It is because whenever I was out with my mom for coffee with her friends it was then I felt most safe.

  4. Swagat Gaire

    July 28, 2021 at 5:29 pm

    Me watching this waiting for my monthly salary 🙄

  5. Ahmed Mohammed

    July 28, 2021 at 5:32 pm

    I am sure it was a helpful talk but it was very monotonous to stay focused. I hope you get better to get the value through to everyone next time. Good luck

  6. My Inner Andromeda

    July 28, 2021 at 6:18 pm

    Awesome talk Robert A Belle!

  7. squeezeslemons

    July 28, 2021 at 6:22 pm

    Lol I’m already in debt up to my eyeballs but thanks I guess

    • Aastha Singh

      July 29, 2021 at 9:07 pm

      Maybe tracking will help control future spending and help with saving more money to pay off your debts

  8. Vamsi Krishna

    July 28, 2021 at 6:36 pm

    Can someone suggest good app to track the expenses…!!!

    • Audi

      July 29, 2021 at 3:11 am

      I prefer to use Google Sheets because of the customization ability it allows. However on the downside, it can take a bit of effort to set it up and if you’re looking to make a comprehensive tracker, it would also require some above average understanding of formulas to program the tracker.

    • Yiting Liang

      July 29, 2021 at 4:40 am

      I use ‘fortune city’ its a gamified version of finance app and it has really nice and easy to use analysis tools to see your expenses in different categories.

    • T T

      July 29, 2021 at 9:15 pm

      My bank has a specific app for it but it might be for Canadians only.

  9. ፍሠሓ እስጢፋኖስ

    July 28, 2021 at 6:51 pm

    Seriously bro?? this is on a ted talk??

  10. Shaktijit Jenamani

    July 28, 2021 at 7:13 pm

    Thank god YouTube does not show the list of folks liking & disliking a video. Like for example – I’d report these 13 nuts to the authorities citing mental imbalance & threat to society .. hehe .. Thank you so very much for this talk actually. Nothing less than an eye opener for cartoons like me. Take care.

  11. Amanda Dee

    July 28, 2021 at 7:21 pm

    you’re amazing

  12. Zenn Exile

    July 28, 2021 at 8:18 pm

    A wooWoo accountant… Now I’ve seen it all.

  13. Maxi Schmidt

    July 28, 2021 at 9:17 pm

    I can hear Capheus´ voice.

  14. troy milton

    July 28, 2021 at 10:50 pm

    Cocoa increases blood flow to the brain as well as aids in serotonin production

    • troy milton

      July 28, 2021 at 10:54 pm

      Make sure it’s all organic and u won’t get fat

  15. troy milton

    July 28, 2021 at 10:53 pm

    Working while being a bum is the best way to live as a king..

    So man beautiful parks nobody takes advantage of

  16. Dantick09

    July 28, 2021 at 11:34 pm

    I want more talks by this guy

  17. Wilesh Sawant

    July 28, 2021 at 11:59 pm

    Accountant with moral psychological responsibility.

  18. Jane Snyder

    July 29, 2021 at 12:51 am

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      July 29, 2021 at 12:55 am

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      Nelson Louis is a perfect person, Nelson will always update you, and let you know the right time to buy and sell. His trading techniques are precious.

    • Aastha Singh

      July 29, 2021 at 9:09 pm

      The fact that all 6 of these bot replies were made seconds apart-

  19. Aarti M

    July 29, 2021 at 12:54 am

    I started doing this a few months ago and it’s painful sometimes, you’re almost in denial of the numbers staring back at you. You can lie to yourself but the numbers certainly don’t! It’s also important to not write anything off or not include it because you think it was a rare occurance or too insignificant.

  20. Squirrel Covers

    July 29, 2021 at 2:40 am

    Emotion has ZERO to do with $$$$

  21. Gennext bd.Sylhet

    July 29, 2021 at 3:18 am

    👍

  22. Craig Nolan

    July 29, 2021 at 3:27 am

    $50 a month for chocolate doesn’t sound like that much lol

    • TakanashiYuuji

      July 29, 2021 at 7:51 pm

      It’s $50 more than I’m spending.

  23. 123

    July 29, 2021 at 4:15 am

    This person knows how to use the word “literally” and “figuratively”. Rare nowadays.

    • maxcoseti

      July 30, 2021 at 10:12 pm

      They mean the same, duh

  24. 123

    July 29, 2021 at 5:46 am

    “Numbers don’t assume or lie”

  25. Pandaboi

    July 29, 2021 at 7:27 am

    Common themes I’m seeing both in this video and in my own life, is spending money to impress others.

    • Traveling Teacher Caroline

      July 29, 2021 at 10:50 am

      Same here.

    • Hadi Shams

      July 29, 2021 at 11:45 pm

      There is a wise man who said something like that:”no matter how much gold you but on a camel, it is still and will always stay a camel”.,people…we came to this life with no thing and we will leave with no thing with us. Remember that and don,t bother too much about materialistic things, they are not gonna be your happiness, happiness come from within not from outside.

    • Lindokuhle Masilela

      July 30, 2021 at 7:22 pm

      We all are hey..🙈🙈🙈

  26. Fong Man

    July 29, 2021 at 11:28 am

    1) Pay yourself first.

    Set aside a certain amount every month for savings first, and spend the rest.

    2) Your partner is very important in your financial health.

    Before I met my wife, I thought I was financial literate enough.

    But I was wrong. I spent money unnecessarily.

    She was the money conscious one and she helped me saved even more than when I was alone.

    • Aastha Singh

      July 29, 2021 at 9:10 pm

      I’d also mention that paying off your debts is more important than anything 🙂

    • Fong Man

      July 29, 2021 at 11:08 pm

      @Aastha Singh That is very true.

      And more importantly to distinguish between good debt and bad debt.

    • Aastha Singh

      July 30, 2021 at 2:48 pm

      @Fong Man what’s the difference?

    • Fong Man

      July 30, 2021 at 3:05 pm

      @Aastha Singh Good debt helps you finance ventures that can increase your net worth (Business, investment)

      Bad debt are those that are liabilities (Car loan, personal loan)

    • Aastha Singh

      July 31, 2021 at 11:13 am

      @Fong Man Ah that makes sense. Thanks!

  27. Diskifaith

    July 29, 2021 at 5:56 pm

    Good stuff. Love your fiancial advice

  28. Morne' Pillay

    July 29, 2021 at 7:06 pm

    Wow really good ted talk. Thank You.

  29. CreativityZero

    July 30, 2021 at 2:00 am

    It’s something that sounds pretty simplistic and trivial, but it does make a huge importance in our lives. I think the hardest part is to check everything to watch over youself, and, mainly, to assume that you might be mistaken about your choices.

  30. Van Duc-13 Nguyen

    July 30, 2021 at 2:29 am

    Such an informative Ted. Thank you!

  31. Hazel O' Hara

    July 30, 2021 at 2:29 am

    Such an informative Ted. Thank you!

  32. Vanessa Pangestu

    July 30, 2021 at 4:16 am

    “Our relationship with money represents our relationship with life.” Well said.

  33. Terry

    July 30, 2021 at 6:02 am

    I believe you are just reading someone’s script.

  34. gaainga

    July 30, 2021 at 6:07 am

    follow the money

  35. myPerspective

    July 30, 2021 at 9:57 am

    Valuable insights. Thanks for sharing your experience.

  36. KC Nwokoye

    July 30, 2021 at 11:17 am

    Thank you! 🙌🏾

  37. Lindokuhle Masilela

    July 30, 2021 at 7:19 pm

    Our money know us well then we know ourself 👌👌👌

  38. maxcoseti

    July 30, 2021 at 10:14 pm

    I love how every example was an immediate lifechanging epiphany

  39. seattlegrrlie

    August 1, 2021 at 3:44 pm

    I started removing money every paycheck to a separate account. It was scary at first, but then I realized that I absolutely can live on my budget

  40. Are Stol

    August 2, 2021 at 3:31 am

    Anyone know what that style of shirt is called?

  41. Michaela Bettge

    August 2, 2021 at 5:19 pm

    listening to you right now. you have my full attention.

    • Michaela Bettge

      August 2, 2021 at 5:20 pm

      i want to destroy money not, i am using it in another way.

    • Michaela Bettge

      August 2, 2021 at 5:25 pm

      only for you: this is how I train my empathy 😉

  42. Nora L

    August 2, 2021 at 11:33 pm

    That is an great perspective on spending habits. That really clicked in.

  43. Daniel Menges

    August 3, 2021 at 2:54 pm

    Well said. Thank you, Robert.

  44. Patty Salvatore

    August 3, 2021 at 9:27 pm

    Looked at the videos title and said ” Well, here we go, this should be enlightening.

  45. Good Golly, Miss Lolly

    August 4, 2021 at 1:33 am

    I was raised poor and spent my early adult life obsessively holding onto my money and was constantly on the lookout for what I can “score”. I only ever spent money on essentials – and they were the cheapest essentials I could source. I was stingey, I was first in line if something free was being given away, and always compared “my share” with those around me. It was a poverty mindset and I hated it. It consumed me. I decided to change it and started going out of my way to be generous … I donated to causes; I shouted friends coffee; I found ways to give anonymously to people around me. I am a changed person. Being generous comes naturally to me now. I finally feel free from the torment. I know it goes against what we are taught about money but I actually manage my finances better all round now and have more savings than I’ve ever had

    • Gethro Omilda

      August 18, 2021 at 11:38 am

      oh wow, thanks for sharing

  46. Gygy

    August 4, 2021 at 9:43 am

    Oooh excellent! 🙂 I like the way you addressed and presented the topic. Short, clear, kind and insightful.
    I knew all this, yet this specific video, I believe, actually activated the seed for doing better. Thank you Sir!

  47. Nairobi Garage

    August 5, 2021 at 6:01 am

    We loved hosting Robert for this session! Well done!

  48. Yuri Bugaenco

    August 5, 2021 at 2:22 pm

    I hope to one day have an office just like this one where I can work in silence. Such tranquility

  49. Jelly

    August 7, 2021 at 9:22 pm

    I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!!! THANK YOUU!!!!

  50. mxachary

    August 8, 2021 at 12:08 pm

    Just curious how he isolated chocolate purchases on all his receipts?

  51. crypto miner

    August 8, 2021 at 11:16 pm

    Nice video buddy! Cryptominer solutions has made buying stuffs internationally a whole lot easier. You can now shop for your best gift cards for smooth and convenient transactions. Thank me later guys 🙂

  52. Bongani Tau

    August 9, 2021 at 12:18 am

    Thanks for the insights.

  53. irene delaney

    August 9, 2021 at 7:38 am

    Wow what a revelation. Thank you for this wonderful information.

  54. stella akinyi

    August 9, 2021 at 8:25 am

    Very enlightening.

  55. chocola4llusion

    August 10, 2021 at 9:27 am

    Great!

  56. Robert Calamusso

    August 10, 2021 at 10:48 am

    Great. Thanks.

  57. Tilek Mamutov

    August 12, 2021 at 6:31 am

    I think it’s a lower quality content than usual on TED.

  58. PinkSallyProductions

    August 12, 2021 at 9:46 am

    Very enlightening and well presented, thank you! Be well 🌹

  59. Monkey Journey

    August 12, 2021 at 10:22 pm

    So true. My younger self was not confident and yes I spent so much money on clothes, bags and anything externally to fill my inner holes. Later (and older) I did something with my life to gain my confidence. Fast forward my spending habits have changed in a better way.

  60. Easter George

    August 13, 2021 at 6:55 am

    Love this video

  61. Alper B.K

    August 14, 2021 at 12:57 pm

    So true. Thanks for sharing

  62. Kite

    August 14, 2021 at 6:04 pm

    4:28

  63. 0hwbe

    August 16, 2021 at 8:11 pm

    REALLY BAD STORIES AND VIDEO!
    KINDERGARDEN!

  64. Yin Ger

    August 17, 2021 at 9:08 am

    I feel so excited after I watched this video. Because I spent some money on games. Although I like this game, I found the money I cost was too much. So by tracking the cost record help me knowing that my habit is in the wrong way. It’s time to get it back.

  65. Chandy Hampson

    August 17, 2021 at 1:01 pm

    Bringing our spending into perspective, illuminates those critical areas that needs curbing. Therefore, creating a balance and a healthy outlook overall.

  66. Anatoliy Korneychuk

    August 23, 2021 at 4:43 am

    That guy sounds like he was one of the horde members in VRchat looking for a queen

  67. Adeena Alexander

    August 24, 2021 at 5:44 am

    this was such a good talk!

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