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4 tips to kickstart honest conversations at work | Betsy Kauffman

Visit to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more. Why is it so hard to speak up and productively disagree at work? Leadership and organization coach Betsy Kauffman shows how to bring the candid conversations that usually happen at the watercooler out into the open with four practical…

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Visit to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more.

Why is it so hard to speak up and productively disagree at work? Leadership and organization coach Betsy Kauffman shows how to bring the candid conversations that usually happen at the watercooler out into the open with four practical strategies you can implement right now to have honest, transparent discussions with your colleagues.

The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design — plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. You’re welcome to link to or embed these videos, forward them to others and share these ideas with people you know.

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72 Comments

72 Comments

  1. Conscientious Cog

    February 6, 2021 at 2:35 pm

    I wanted to see someone suggest people start being real with each other about things in life rather than being a product – I was disappointed.

  2. Zaphod Beeblebrox

    February 6, 2021 at 2:42 pm

    My boss has all the answers. No need to speak up.

    • Susan Richard

      February 6, 2021 at 4:46 pm

      My heart goes out to you.

    • Zaphod Beeblebrox

      February 6, 2021 at 5:24 pm

      @Susan Richard Why? My heart goes to my boss, hoping he will see what he’s doing. We all had plenty of honest conversations, but he continues to ruin his company. We are jaded now and don’t care about his company, just a paycheck

  3. Ligia Sommers

    February 6, 2021 at 3:31 pm

    👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🙏🏻💖🌷

  4. Shahid G

    February 6, 2021 at 3:36 pm

    My name is Shahid and I am apakistani Christian. I am improving my English through your channel. Thanks you so much you and your team.

    • R Collinge

      February 6, 2021 at 4:03 pm

      Keep up the good work.
      English is probably one of the hardest languages to learn so don’t give up .

    • Thank You

      February 6, 2021 at 4:49 pm

      Let’s have an honest conversation, Christianity is a cult, if you are smart you would learn that and get out of it. Good luck.

  5. dargengunner

    February 6, 2021 at 4:09 pm

    @ the 1:25 point my simple answer to her question would be because we now have generations addicted to technology and for all it’s good it has spoilt & almost ruined our definition of humanity, keep tech to the machines and leave humanity alone to communicate properly and not through a screen. Isn’t tech supposed to help us not hinder us, if it is the latter then your solution starts as always with its creators.

    • dargengunner

      February 6, 2021 at 4:11 pm

      Emoji’s and Emoticons won’t and don’t work

  6. iloveagdolls30

    February 6, 2021 at 4:09 pm

    Cute

    • The Moon

      February 6, 2021 at 4:11 pm

      W.H.A.T.S.A.P.P
      +.1.3.3.2.3.2.2.9.5.1.7✔️

    • The Moon

      February 6, 2021 at 4:11 pm

      Link up with Evan Jordan💯💯💯

  7. Karmen

    February 6, 2021 at 4:14 pm

    Asking questions is a good place to start because you can’t expect everyone to be openly expressive. I wish more workplaces just talked to their employees individually, a lot more good could come out of a two person conversation.

    • Kiran R

      February 6, 2021 at 10:00 pm

      In my experience,yes,however,I have also seen people ignore suggestions after the one on one is done as it’s behind closed doors..

    • Karmen

      February 6, 2021 at 10:17 pm

      @Kiran R honestly you’re right, I expect too much of people

  8. Boburjohn

    February 6, 2021 at 4:14 pm

    who understand her poot like😂😂

  9. Thank You

    February 6, 2021 at 4:44 pm

    4 tips on how to get yourself fired. Unless of course your ideologies are an exact match with your companies. In which case, congratulations, you are a cultist. The real purpose of this, is to weed out the non cultists from work places. Wake up and smell the traps they are setting for you.

    • Susan Richard

      February 6, 2021 at 5:01 pm

      No, this is harassment, no individual should be subjected to this abuse tactic. Stand alone if necessary

  10. True Crime Queen TV

    February 6, 2021 at 5:35 pm

    Totally obsessed with these videos! I click right when I see the notification. Stay safe out there everyone 🙏❤️

  11. brownin329

    February 6, 2021 at 6:28 pm

    Ha! There are no honest conversations at work because there are no honest people at work.

  12. Boring Drone Videos

    February 6, 2021 at 6:31 pm

    Lol. How can someone start a “honest” conversation when our social infrastructure is taught to lie at an early age?
    Our entire social infrastructure is in itself a lie.. which makes this a side effect to compounding lie one after the other until it’s embedded into our DNA
    Example: we all know the peoples vote went to Trump. It’s obvious but who sits in the White House? The group least liked by the people but the media ran it another way..

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      February 6, 2021 at 6:51 pm

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      February 6, 2021 at 6:51 pm

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    • TE D

      February 6, 2021 at 6:51 pm

      What>spp
      +1 . 3. 1. 4. 5. 4. 8. 8. 0. 4. 6

    • Daniel Pronk

      February 6, 2021 at 6:51 pm

      What>spp
      +1 . 3. 1. 4. 5. 4. 8. 8. 0. 4. 6

  13. Stu Finlay

    February 6, 2021 at 6:51 pm

    sorry but this is complete crap

  14. Lisa Love Ministries

    February 6, 2021 at 6:54 pm

    Proverbs 9:10🕊

  15. Sam Braz

    February 6, 2021 at 8:15 pm

    Yer right. Go to BITCHUTE and not utube censored propaganda. People are dieing from the jab and utube blocks the testimonies from their families that regret taking it. Watch a documentary A shot in the dark.

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  17. Wenna Flokks

    February 6, 2021 at 8:23 pm

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  19. Hunter

    February 6, 2021 at 8:47 pm

    🙂

  20. Lakshmi Narayan

    February 6, 2021 at 8:50 pm

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  21. Taneal Newman

    February 6, 2021 at 10:29 pm

    Captain Obvious is not a good thing to say out loud. Lol

  22. Train Kinder - Simple Leadership Hacks

    February 6, 2021 at 10:47 pm

    Honesty and openness are great policy to have in the workplace. Thanks Betsy for sharing with us the know-how

  23. Ruel Savel

    February 6, 2021 at 11:44 pm

    Betsy: if I owned a company, that’s advice that I would like to share with my people. BUUUUT: in 99% of companies out there, no one wants to hear your thoughts or « positive criticism », especially if they are in a superior position. Officially, information does not flow from bottom to top, and owners are happy as long as the company is making money. Having worked with many organizations, small and large, the ‘Cover Your A**’ motto is best for survival. Companies today DON’T CARE ABOUT THEIR EMPLOYEES. Too bad.

    • Analogy Accepted

      February 7, 2021 at 7:09 am

      Well said. Dollar is the bottom line. If you are on side of the dollar (in the eyes of the management, which can be wrong, BTW), you will win. Otherwise, you will lose.

  24. David Adams

    February 7, 2021 at 1:03 am

    Really cool.

  25. Wendall Holmes

    February 7, 2021 at 2:44 am

    TLDR: Problems can stem from the management level seeming to be intent on keeping employees subservient.

    I’ve told a supervisor in a matter-of-fact tone with the best figures available to me that more parts were needed to meet a shipment. She said I was wrong and threatened to take away our tracking system on the floor. In the end we were both off but I was still right that there wasn’t enough which was found out once we built what we could. After that experience I took my leave of the company because nothing was done even though this level of short sighted management was running rampant.
    THIS IS A LARGER PROBLEM.

    • Wendall Holmes

      February 7, 2021 at 2:51 am

      Should mention: I did everything on this list, except for mention Captain Obvious, I had my whole team behind me as well.

  26. Sarah T

    February 7, 2021 at 4:59 am

    Saying captain obvious out load will just embarrass the person who said the idea n make them feel stupid

  27. James Kulevich

    February 7, 2021 at 5:19 am

    Why don’t you do something “Pro-American?”

  28. ika novia

    February 7, 2021 at 6:46 am

    Confident, focus the problem, deliver a message, always seek a solution are to be honest convertation

  29. Robert McCabe

    February 7, 2021 at 6:50 am

    I have a better solution: meetings are worthless, get rid of them (at least in person ones). From my experience they are just a sounding board for trite buzzwords that the dumbest in the room can “understand”; I guess this is done so that everyone feels included. I would rather everyone write down their ideas in lucid and precise English, email it, and force people to READ everyone else’s ideas. 1). This will weed out the idiots who cant think to the point where they can write down their ideas (you will be surprised how many there are) 2.) It forces people to THINK 3.) You will UNDERSTAND people’s biases to avoid talking past each other later. I have Asperger’s and the neurotypicals out there might disagree with me. I have brought this up at my company (I’m an engineer), and have been told that my suggestion is too much work. But so is having countless meetings that don’t accomplish anything. I cannot understand your world (all of you seem so confident and happy socializing)! I may be biased, but I’ve never seen anything worthwhile come from meetings.

  30. Analogy Accepted

    February 7, 2021 at 7:00 am

    Wonder if this lady actually worked in tough projects. Usually, projects are tough because management is unwilling to vendor, or hire, or move deadlines. They get used to finishing projects by either asking teams to cut corners, or by asking them to work above their normal hours.

    Giving them solutions that don’t produce half-baked results, or slave-drive their people is usually met with: “We had a meeting with upper management, and these projects are critical to complete by next quarter, can we order some pizza for the weekend for you, and also what can we do to simplify this?” (“Simplify” is code word for cutting corners, testing, other things.)

    This lady has not really seen the real bad places.

  31. Tommy Lellan

    February 7, 2021 at 9:46 am

    Don’t totally agree with her, but it is interesting how we have gotten to a place in society where politeness overrules everything. If I ever do get into a confrontation with someone at work, I am shaking and my voice wobbles and I get extremely emotional. But why? I am not physically getting assaulted, yet we’ve programmed ourselves growing up to not speak up because it is a cardinal sin. It’s not. We shouldn’t shy away from confrontation, as long as it’s justifiable.

  32. LEARN ENGLISH. GYB

    February 7, 2021 at 12:04 pm

    Thank you for the precious suggestion

  33. Jesse Mohr

    February 7, 2021 at 1:28 pm

    The mic drop moment literally has the solutions built into it. Saying we sont have enough x y z to complete this task is the same as saying we need more x y z to complete it. The problem is that the boss basically wants to know well… I know it’s not reasonable, but how can you do it anyway?

  34. Teri Scallon

    February 7, 2021 at 9:25 pm

    this is great…thank you

  35. 박종수

    February 7, 2021 at 11:14 pm

    Hello. There is a future alternative action for civic groups in Korea. Please inform the Korean people around you widely.

  36. jparkerwillis

    February 8, 2021 at 12:12 am

    So many broken people in this comments section. If you aren’t happy at work then that is your fault, no one else’s. Be the change you want to see and others will follow suit.

  37. Aron Park

    February 8, 2021 at 2:33 am

    Sounds like ideal and like dreming story
    it seems not real
    but she looks nice and kind
    I think you already give to us about positive and alternative:)

  38. Lau ra

    February 8, 2021 at 5:33 am

    I don’t understand where this lady is presenting.. A workshop? Furniture store?

  39. voodoo

    February 8, 2021 at 10:08 am

    All this talk is “nice”, but it’s always in the service of big capital for a very small group of wealthy individuals, don’t be fooled!

  40. Lost Coyote

    February 8, 2021 at 11:00 am

    Who’s going to take advice from someone who ridicules their own son online even to make point?

  41. Back Health 101

    February 8, 2021 at 1:36 pm

    The first suggestion is absolutely horrible. If you stated that in a group or meeting, you would like highly socially aggressive.

  42. Chris

    February 8, 2021 at 2:28 pm

    workplaces are full of politics and hierarchies. management in companies often have one goal, sell themselves and use position to quash any dissent, to get more money and power. honesty not desired.

  43. Kylie Jones

    February 9, 2021 at 12:16 am

    I certainly won’t be a millionaire at the end of this bull Run, however I had 35k invested 6 months ago in Bitcoin, I’m sitting at 470k now with 50% in eth and 20% in other alts… So I’m very happy and thankful to Jessica Parido who made this possible, maybe next time I’ll have enough to become a millionaire 🙃

    • Jay Shetty

      February 9, 2021 at 12:23 am

      You still haven’t answered me dear.. How can I contact this person?

  44. Timothy Feagles

    February 9, 2021 at 5:44 am

    I bet your coworkers text each other about you after your “help.”

  45. kendall cuddles

    February 10, 2021 at 7:28 pm

    Having a filter is bad. Filtering yourself is what birthed cancel culture.

    • Vincent Tran

      February 12, 2021 at 5:48 pm

      …uhh…
      *what*

    • kendall cuddles

      February 12, 2021 at 6:27 pm

      @Vincent Tran
      It’s not that hard to understand if you understand English.

      Cancel culture is all about removing people who say things you don’t want them to say. Filtering them. This makes people filter themselves for fear of removal. But watching what one said came first, it was the gateway to it.

  46. 0 0

    February 10, 2021 at 7:36 pm

    I thought I was the only one! This is great! But we are the major minority. I would say 6% of us left. Its not about confidence I think, its the kissing up and fakeness. That what I see.

  47. 0 0

    February 10, 2021 at 7:39 pm

    You have the intent but you don’t understand the cause. Not confidence, its kissing up, being fake, and people don’t want the truth.

  48. Corvus albus

    February 11, 2021 at 11:52 am

    Thank you, I will use some of this in a meeting I have been working up to until today. I do believe that open, honest discussion is the only way to achieve lasting and positive change.

  49. Frank

    February 12, 2021 at 11:12 pm

    “Why is there a fear of speaking up?” Maybe it has something to do with cancel culture 🤔

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