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The Truth About Faking Orgasms | Karen Gurney | TED

Whose pleasure is prioritized during sex, and why? Psychosexologist Karen Gurney explains how a lack of equal pleasure in the bedroom actually reflects broader gender inequality in society — and asks you to reconsider what dynamics are at play, even behind closed doors. If you love watching TED Talks like this one, become a TED…

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Whose pleasure is prioritized during sex, and why? Psychosexologist Karen Gurney explains how a lack of equal pleasure in the bedroom actually reflects broader gender inequality in society — and asks you to reconsider what dynamics are at play, even behind closed doors.

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60 Comments

60 Comments

  1. Jules Parker

    November 21, 2022 at 2:34 pm

    I met Karen on a film shoot a few years ago. Brilliant person. So knowledgable and puts things in down to earth terms.

    • Corrie

      November 21, 2022 at 3:27 pm

      She clearly has the patience and compassion that I do not (and likely never will for this issue, anyway) ❤️

  2. Ocean McIntyre

    November 21, 2022 at 2:38 pm

    Of course the men in the comments are rude and have zero to do with the actual presentation material, and the women are simply agreeing with material. MEN you need to pay attention to this if you want a sexual relationship to last.

  3. John Tensai

    November 21, 2022 at 3:06 pm

    There is huge difference btw Supporting LGBTQ and Promoting LGBTQ…..
    And she is clearly Promoting….which not sound minded by any social or scientific means.😡

  4. auyemra

    November 21, 2022 at 3:07 pm

    there was very little information on how to remedy this problem in this video. felt more like a pep talk.

    • Nihilist Porcupine

      November 21, 2022 at 3:10 pm

      You can’t have a single set of recommendations for everyone… Since all women are different. The solution is to talk to your partners, be honest with each other, and do your best to improve the situation together.

    • auyemra

      November 21, 2022 at 3:15 pm

      @Nihilist Porcupine you just gave me more information in that paragraph than the 11 minute video.

    • Corrie

      November 21, 2022 at 3:54 pm

      Read “The Will To Change” by bell hooks

    • elliewellie

      November 21, 2022 at 4:43 pm

      Not every tedtalk is meant to solve problems.

  5. listen2meokidoki

    November 21, 2022 at 3:17 pm

    What about the truth about TED lies and misinformation?
    TED is debased.

  6. Z P

    November 21, 2022 at 3:18 pm

    Her name is Karen

  7. AWOOGO

    November 21, 2022 at 3:20 pm

    Very good talk honestly. I thought it was going to go down the path of “it’s mens fault they suck”. But it went down the right reason that communication is always the way

  8. Duck

    November 21, 2022 at 3:47 pm

    Look at who’s explaining this 🥴

    • JB8

      November 21, 2022 at 4:14 pm

      A woman who is a clinical psychologist and expert in this area, explaining the issues and scientific research so that you can understand clearly?

    • Duck

      November 21, 2022 at 6:02 pm

      @JB8 exactly my point. I left this open for speculation just to prove my point

    • JB8

      November 21, 2022 at 6:11 pm

      @Duck you didn’t make a point except to suggest there is something wrong with the presenter, as if your point was to deride the message by pointing out that the woman delivering the message was flawed, and so as a result, the message is flawed. The presenter is a highly trained psychologist discussing the research in her field of study.

    • This isn't allowed

      November 21, 2022 at 6:20 pm

      Don’t you just love people who don’t listen to you because you are black?

    • Ang

      November 23, 2022 at 7:58 pm

      @Duck You might want to think about getting an education, it might broaden your perspective on other people, and maybe you’d grow a bit.

  9. Roy

    November 21, 2022 at 3:52 pm

    insightful video. The irony for all the guys in the comments dismissing the video or just making fun of the woman’s style just reveals their insecurity. I live with my gf and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how we contribute to our relationship, and this video touches on a part of that bond. The reality is if you’re girl (or partner) doesn’t appreciate how you treat them, they’ll eventually leave and you won’t have much to show for it in the end. Empathy and understanding is one of the tools towards a healthy relationship and society on a broader scale. I’m embarrassed to have read so many dumb-witted, incel-adjacent comments on a positive video like this. do better bros

  10. Ligia Sommers

    November 21, 2022 at 4:03 pm

    🙏🏻🌹✨🙏🏻

  11. Shen Storm

    November 21, 2022 at 4:06 pm

    What? Lying is bad and doesn’t benefit us in the long-run? I’m SHOCKED!

  12. Confused Cat

    November 21, 2022 at 4:10 pm

    I literally thought she’s Jadis from the Walking Dead 💀

  13. DD PWE

    November 21, 2022 at 4:29 pm

    Why are there so many butt-hurt boys who want to show their hurt feelings over this? You always hear people joking about this, but then when you have a professional who conducts their own research, along with having clients, you’d think people might be more compassionate it about. Nope. “I don’t do this, so it doesn’t happen, you’re wrong and men are great” attitudes makes you look so damn immature and still part of the PROBLEM! You’re making the rest of us look bad to boot!

    If this isn’t describing you, then BE THANKFUL you’re not one of the little snowflake boys who can’t handle some criticism to HELP THEM be better lovers. Seems like a lot of boys have hit their peak if they don’t believe they can always do better and in for a rude awaking when it comes to long-term relationships. smh

  14. S.S.S.F

    November 21, 2022 at 5:13 pm

    I’m very weak English learn.. About.

  15. S.S.S.F

    November 21, 2022 at 5:16 pm

    I Learn english, plz help me..every how

  16. MJ PM

    November 21, 2022 at 6:32 pm

    BS

  17. Bob Sacamano

    November 21, 2022 at 7:11 pm

    Okay Karen.

  18. ikkedansk

    November 21, 2022 at 8:03 pm

    what a narcissist bonanza

  19. Solitary Reaper

    November 21, 2022 at 8:04 pm

    What a karen

  20. lllOlOlOOl lOllOOOlll

    November 21, 2022 at 8:36 pm

    I don’t see anyone outside of this mindset taking part in her study. Maybe they’d end up with better men that are more considerate if they didn’t rock bowl-cuts :’3

    • Caleb Stewart

      November 21, 2022 at 11:08 pm

      This isn’t even funny, try to watch the video and understand what she’s saying, you being so against what she’s said before listening will make it worse for everyone. Try to listen what is being said than dismiss it because you might not like what is being said. But also, use common sense and logic. Connect the dots and try to understand things, view them in a scope as an issue that is not personally attached to you, if it helps you not feel “attacked” or offended by what is being said.

    • lllOlOlOOl lOllOOOlll

      November 21, 2022 at 11:33 pm

      @Caleb Stewart not reading all that sir🤷

  21. Morgan Stefan

    November 21, 2022 at 10:23 pm

    Can you Explain how beginners can make huge profit within a short period of time? I feel it’s the best time to get started on the market, heard some guy speaking of making over $3.5M within 4months of investing $450k

  22. cinnamon8884

    November 21, 2022 at 10:23 pm

    lol so many triggered snowflakes in the comment section

  23. Aaron Russell

    November 21, 2022 at 10:45 pm

    That truth

  24. ElectroMotoko

    November 21, 2022 at 10:59 pm

    My mum always told me that, women always fake it, I’ve never trusted women since. Women should be honest, but it will never happen. I like men only now.

  25. TheUtubecollection

    November 22, 2022 at 12:33 am

    WHOSE – pleasure ?

    SUCH A Strong and Necessary Point.

    This beautiful Earth — HAS TO — STOP —– Men wanting to DOMINATE the whole Earth.

  26. TheUtubecollection

    November 22, 2022 at 12:35 am

    Women :- HAVE TO … Step UP for themselves AND OTHER Women.

    Remember.. bro code ???? Women NEED to HAVE Sis- code ….. where …. each woman pulls up the other women. Like a chain.

    MEN :- HAVE TO —– R E S P E C T .

  27. Doc Skate

    November 22, 2022 at 12:47 am

    This woman seems super interesting.
    Would like to find out more about that hairstyle though.

  28. Hoàng Đình Việt

    November 22, 2022 at 12:54 am

    Hay quá. Hình ảnh đẹp

  29. F.B.I

    November 22, 2022 at 4:56 am

    TED has gone from conducting talks about beginning of the universe to this.

  30. Michael Beach

    November 22, 2022 at 11:05 am

    A fascinating video! Very insightful! While I wish she’d lay off the ‘patriarchy’ nonsense, everything she recommended to do was spot on!

  31. Daniela Martinez

    November 22, 2022 at 6:08 pm

    Remember, denial and attacking the person and not the content of her words is a defense mechanicism to prevent the ego from getting hurt from the truth.

  32. Wenit Bewood

    November 22, 2022 at 9:50 pm

    Wrong. Spoken like a true lesbian*. I mean really, are men that bad? Are men really that selfish and inattentive to women’s needs? I don’t know any men like what Karen speaks of here. Why? If so prevalent then where are they? If women are so permissive then where are they?
    ..
    *I am part of the LGBTQA+ community and my experience is that every single lesbian I have ever met (many) instead of just being “pro-woman” they are more “anti-men”.

    • Balls in my mouf😈😈

      November 23, 2022 at 4:56 am

      Not u using being lgbt to be homophobic and misogynistic 💀💀💀

  33. funkyplaya

    November 23, 2022 at 4:50 am

    Haven’t watched a TED talk in years and I come across this video today. Is this what TED has turned into? No wonder it’s become so irrelevant.

  34. ling shong

    November 23, 2022 at 4:51 am

    世界中の、子供達は、長い年月、偉人学習します。 大人になると、もう、理解力有る、神様しか、愛せません。 女性は、近くの男性と、交際しますが、目の前の者は、神様では有りません。 数年間結婚生活しても、必ず離婚します。 同居亭主は、真心が、通じる、神様では、有りません。 此れは、刷り込み偉人教育の、弊害点なのです。

  35. Melusine

    November 23, 2022 at 10:49 am

    Faking can also come from not feeling/being safe, as is having to say yes because was not allowed to say no for most of 10 years.

    • Ang

      November 23, 2022 at 7:52 pm

      Life is too short, you deserve so much better even if it’s just to be able to be master of your own destiny. Trust me, it’s always better on your own for just getting to be at peace

  36. Abatusa V

    November 23, 2022 at 5:41 pm

    Looks like her stylist put a bowl over her head and cut around it.

  37. Elli G

    November 23, 2022 at 5:46 pm

    I waisted my time just to figure out what I already knew communication is key smh lol

  38. TheMagicMan

    November 24, 2022 at 4:17 am

    Once she started talking about the gender pay gap I turned it off

  39. SH K

    November 24, 2022 at 10:49 am

    Thank you!

  40. Michaela Skarbova

    November 25, 2022 at 9:35 pm

    Truly amazing speech ❤

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