People & Blogs
The Secret to a Happy Life — Lessons from 8 Decades of Research | Robert Waldinger | TED
The happiest and healthiest people are those who have warm connections with others, says psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, who leads the Harvard Study of Adult Development — one of the longest-running studies of adult life ever conducted. Exploring the crucial link between social bonds and quality of life, he shares wisdom and insights into how to…
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khalil syria83
January 10, 2023 at 5:29 pm
So idealy talk
Manuel Manuel
January 10, 2023 at 5:41 pm
I knew this without the studies. It is universal common sense
Ncamisile Ngcongca
January 10, 2023 at 5:49 pm
Was not expecting the lady to pop out like that 😂
Interferenzbrille _
January 10, 2023 at 8:00 pm
Same 😀 she could have taken a second to thank him or say she liked it or anything 😀
Marcin gołaj
January 10, 2023 at 6:07 pm
The Best speach, play music.
Alisher Alishev
January 10, 2023 at 6:13 pm
👍🏻
Khoirul Huda
January 10, 2023 at 6:20 pm
Happy to see you again, Sir Waldinger. 😊
CaMi
January 10, 2023 at 6:21 pm
Thank u for speaking slowly. I’m from Latin America. I never had the opportunity to study in an academy. All that I know It’s because I learned by myself making translations of series, music and more. I really appreciate your calm and the way that you explain, thank u so much.♡
Mario Torrecilla
January 10, 2023 at 6:26 pm
Very interesting, and thought- provoking speach. Although I understand the core point of, I must say that many lonely and introverted people don’t want to speak with strangers, or even feel stressed after doing so. And the same could be applied to speaking with acquaintances (such as workmates, or neightbours) other than very close friends or partners. But I get the point, and I thank you for sharing your knowledge with everyone
Interferenzbrille _
January 10, 2023 at 8:01 pm
16:29?
Mario Torrecilla
January 10, 2023 at 8:36 pm
@Interferenzbrille _You are right. I didn’t finish watching the video by the time I wrote my comment. Sorry , my bad 🙂 I will go watch the rest of the video
LiT
January 10, 2023 at 6:42 pm
♥♥♥
Marcus Warren
January 10, 2023 at 6:53 pm
Robert radiates happiness. I felt happy listening to this talk
Thato Mofolo
January 10, 2023 at 7:03 pm
Real talk 🤔🤔🤔
Alex Dane
January 10, 2023 at 7:07 pm
“Relationships are the currency of life” – forgot where i first heard it but this is very in line with what he discusses, also love the idea of ‘social fitness’
dragonlover3
January 10, 2023 at 7:09 pm
Hi
Trevon Jackson
January 10, 2023 at 7:43 pm
I’ve been quite unsure about investing in this current market and at the same time I feel it’s the best time to get started on the market. i was at a seminar and the host spoke about making over $972,000 within 3 Months with a capital of $200,000. i need to know how to go about it
Ben Alex
January 10, 2023 at 7:45 pm
Nick Dranchak Advisory is really different from every other Brokers, his honest and pro, earned 52.3BTC from him. Thank God i stopped hodling, i would suggest you try him.
Trevon Jackson
January 10, 2023 at 7:45 pm
@Ben Alex there’s a lot of money to be made in crypto. I feel this new interest rates hikes could crash this economy. I’m looking out for a better investing strategy, I have a lump sum that inflation is steady eating up. Please do you mind sharing any means of reaching out to him easily? I’m really interested
Ben Alex
January 10, 2023 at 7:46 pm
@Trevon Jackson check the web and you will find him, drop a msg.
Amadi Tempe
January 10, 2023 at 7:46 pm
My portfolio is very much diversified. I did it using copy trading system from a US regulated broker ” Adviser NICK DRANCHAK ” it’s been a huge relief. Good earnings and little to no engagement at all on my part. His stock picks are outstanding. I can tell you he’s quite the genius in trading and portfolio diversification.
Trevon Jackson
January 10, 2023 at 7:46 pm
@Ben Alex Ok, just found his website, impressive, Thank you
Ligia Sommers
January 10, 2023 at 7:43 pm
Amazing ! And his voice is so calming ! 🙏🏻🌹✨🙏🏻
Nathan
January 10, 2023 at 8:00 pm
More of this.
Less of the gender and virtue signaling bullsh*t.
Interferenzbrille _
January 10, 2023 at 8:03 pm
Thank you very much for the talk.
Break the Image
January 10, 2023 at 8:21 pm
Seems a happy guy.
ash eiji
January 10, 2023 at 8:23 pm
Am i different? I have a family, trustful friends,yet i can’t open my heart to anybody, this tires me hard yet i am not able to talk
hasan ali çağlayan arslantay
January 10, 2023 at 9:03 pm
nowadays, its hard to find a normal friend you can take a walk
greenkitty82
January 10, 2023 at 9:23 pm
It’s interesting so many people find it hard to make good friends as there are billions of us on the planet so you think it will be easy! But I just let it be ok that I’m by myself and if great people decide to come and stay in my life great, if not, it was just the way it was supposed to be for me so I don’t worry.
Wendy Hicks
January 10, 2023 at 9:25 pm
“Does this person have my back”…thats gold!!!
Kelly Williamson
January 10, 2023 at 10:19 pm
I love these inspiring videos that remind me I am a miserable misanthrope and . . . people suck.
Veyger
January 10, 2023 at 10:54 pm
I suppose all Studies are biased. Your making the assumption of a certain “Group” and my guess it will be the middle and upper class study. If I am wrong , Let me know.
Veyger
January 11, 2023 at 12:10 am
I would love to put another perspective out there , but ……….your not ready or are so biased in your “Research” you will not get a pass in your Doctoral Degree, You need more evidence.
Mark Porritt
January 10, 2023 at 11:13 pm
@TED: Why are you guys uploading so many videos on the TEDX channel lately? There’s too many all at once. I thought you would be uploading less after Xmas but it’s still 100+ per weekday!! Too many, and it’s not fair on the speakers neither. Some of them will be getting overlooked. It never used to be like this. It’s really putting me off the TEDX channel.
Jedi Lady
January 10, 2023 at 11:23 pm
I am so lucky to be bestfriend with a group of women since university days. Some of them I already met in highschool. Fast-forward 3 decades and we are still very close. And we have healthy arguments and discussions but in the end, it’s our love for each other that prevails. One thing that really kept us close since was Laughter and having our own inside jokes. It really made us close! We also look so ferry young for our age because we are genuinely happy when we are together! So for those strict parents, please allow your children to hang out with friends even until late nights. Let them travel together and give them the chance to build stronger relationships. Because I have observed that most real friendship connections start young! It was when u had nothing yet, no success or money. Then you know that these friends are not using you!
𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 𝙼𝙴 𝟸𝟻𝟼 𝟺𝟽𝟸 𝟸𝟸𝟻𝟼
January 11, 2023 at 12:01 am
👆Thanks for the comment. Much appreciated feel free to message me directly for assistance..
raj srinu
January 11, 2023 at 2:00 am
Epigenetically – couldn’t continue my studies on psychiatry. Huge fan of Rob. Utmost Respect. Thank you 🙏🏼
Kiley Langille
January 11, 2023 at 3:27 am
what if u live alone
夜
January 11, 2023 at 6:15 am
thanks for sharing!!! it helps🙏🙏
Simple Pixel
January 11, 2023 at 8:21 am
The last time I was spontaneous about contacting two of my realy good old friends that I havent heard of in years because I left my country, resulted in both reading my messaging but getting ghosted by one and blocked by the other with no reply from any of them. Thats was a morale boost :))
Andy Cordy
January 11, 2023 at 8:28 am
Touching on the dynamics of a relationship during the Q&A, we see that value is very important, that reciprocity is sustaining and that being seen and heard is fundamental to combatting isolation and stress.
One of the many silver lining effects from the tragedy of the HIV pandemic is the study of the direct impact of stress on the immune system. Developing from that this notion of the load carried by the immune system as both physiological and psychological.
NuT z
January 11, 2023 at 8:29 am
😀 tho it was my nose, thx doc..
None of your Damn Business
January 11, 2023 at 9:25 am
*Secret to a happy life = shut off your TV and all other technical devices and meet with real people.*
Siminio
January 11, 2023 at 10:45 am
This is called RESEARCH BIAS! I don’t think you can send people on a subway and draw the conclusion that talking to strangers made them happier only because they are happier after. How about they turned out happier, because introducing a conversation to strangers is a challenge for most people, and the simple act of overcoming a challenge already makes us happy?
Adam Venning
January 11, 2023 at 10:58 pm
My suspicion is that he is confusing correlation and causation. What if the actual cause is some personality trait (extroversion, for example )
Vi Vi
January 11, 2023 at 11:28 pm
Some are suspicious of strangers! Some are thought not to talk to strangers. Some don’t really like small talks but they are so happy.
Ro Go
January 11, 2023 at 10:50 am
this was the same guy that was at my school
Nazrul Islam
January 11, 2023 at 12:32 pm
To be happy, a person needs inner peace! The way of getting inner peace is to follow religion strictly.
Sasha Vlastuin
January 11, 2023 at 1:14 pm
Awesome video and I thank you for breaking it down!! Despite the economic recession, I’m so so happy 😊I and my husband have been earning $50,000 returns from my $10,000 investment on short period🎉
totalfreedom45
January 11, 2023 at 1:25 pm
*_Without love and sense of humor there is no happiness and life is meaningless._* 💕☮🌎🌌
Hannah Miller
January 11, 2023 at 1:29 pm
I really want a friend or two. After some events I’ve become so preoccupied with trying to understand abuse, determining if a relationship or friendship is abusive and how to prevent it from being abusive, and how to tell if I’m being abusive, and whose rules to even go by. So I want a friendship but am terrified that I won’t be able to prevent or see the abuse until it’s too late
Vi Vi
January 11, 2023 at 11:21 pm
The more you read about healthy relationships the better you learn about abuse!
💰 Make $750 Per Day
January 11, 2023 at 1:43 pm
“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” -Les Brown
Ethan B
January 11, 2023 at 4:36 pm
Well, thanks for helping confirm that there’s no real light at the end of my tunnel
R R
January 11, 2023 at 4:53 pm
U are happy when you are looting another’s country resources and destroying their culture
Tremaine Woodall
January 11, 2023 at 5:47 pm
Social Fitness
MedEighty
January 11, 2023 at 9:53 pm
In my experience, I find that recommendations in this video do work; including even talking to strangers.
Lucy Renée
January 11, 2023 at 11:12 pm
5:30 – 5:42 BAM! 🎯❗️
Robin R
January 12, 2023 at 12:05 am
It’s not always easy to find those relationships. Growing up with trauma also sets you up for feeling isolated.
Ramon Quiroz
January 12, 2023 at 9:07 am
It’s not easy but acknowledging your emotions, getting to the root of them and making sense of them is what matters. Remembering that you matter and deserve to be treated fairly. This is what I’ve realized in my own personal experience. It’s a difficult journey but it’s always worth trying and trying again
HL
January 13, 2023 at 4:35 pm
Exactly right. We would have been all happy if what he says comes natural to everyone
InnaMoskorina
January 13, 2023 at 6:37 pm
@HL if it came natural, would not be a reason to research or say it. You are taking the right step in asking questions of yourself and others and educating yourself. Keep up with it.
Heard a great quote today “kids make excuses, adults make changes”
Oscar Flo
January 13, 2023 at 7:34 pm
I don’t think it something you find, it’s more like something that is created with hard work. Love is an action word not a feeling.
Maria A
January 12, 2023 at 12:23 am
I think people in the US tend to be more guarded about connecting with others, so you find a lot of superficial connections that are frankly useless or self-serving. Having a pet as a social surrogate for connection/support purposes has become a priority for many. This society lives with a certain “fear of the other” because of its social problems such as racism, inequality, and no gun control (to say the least). And there is too much emphasis on material acquisition, trivialities, and lack of depth/interest in things that really matter, all promulgated by too much media involvement in our lives.
Maybe having a pet shelter in every school will help with the issues of antisocial behaviors you see in schools, which lead to psychopathic behaviors, if unchecked. That effort would ease the way to better interaction among kids. Facebook is not the place for meaningful, long term interaction, it is just sharing of information. And staying away from so much social media will make people realize that your phone is not the only way to connect with others and the quality of your relationships depends on the effort and love you put into them in the first place.
Maria A
January 12, 2023 at 3:10 pm
I agree with everything Dr. Waldinger is stating, but the study focuses on the psychology of one to one interactions for optimal results in attaining some sense of happiness. What I am referring to is the societal woes that affect this country due to lack of a sense of security in our existence. I am referring to gun ownership and the lack of regulation as the most obvious and dangerous one. Given that the country is so vast and regionalized, you can’t expect everyone to be open and agreeable, but at the same time, if we are to live in a “civilized” society we need laws that make personal security a priority for each citizen. That is not the case here, we live in a state of subliminal paranoia. And that in the long run along with all the media intrusion/distraction, makes a case for a very lonely society. As one sociologist from France once told me, “Americans left the horse for the car” and that still rings true to me. We still live in the “Wild West”–with no end in sight with the ingrained mentality of the gun culture. We are no different than Afghanistan in that respect. The only difference is that the American gun industry is truly the winner and we are the ones who lose at the end in the quality of life and happiness we should experience.
Maria A
January 12, 2023 at 3:10 pm
I agree with everything Dr. Waldinger is stating, but the study focuses on the psychology of one to one interactions for optimal results in attaining some sense of happiness. What I am referring to are the societal woes that affect this country due to lack of a sense of security in our existence. I am referring to gun ownership and the lack of regulation as the most obvious and dangerous one. Given that the country is so vast and regionalized, you can’t expect everyone to be open and agreeable, but at the same time, if we are to live in a “civilized” society we need laws that make personal security a priority for each citizen. That is not the case here, we live in a state of subliminal paranoia. And that in the long run along with all the media intrusion/distraction, makes a case for a very lonely society. As one sociologist from France once told me, “Americans left the horse for the car” and that still rings true to me. We still live in the “Wild West”–with no end in sight with the ingrained mentality of the gun culture. We are no different than Afghanistan in that respect. The only difference is that the American gun industry is truly the winner and we are the ones who lose at the end in the quality of life and happiness we should experience.
Teresa Smith
January 12, 2023 at 12:26 am
Living alone does not mean one is lonely or that they aren’t able to self soothe.
jessica bradshaw
January 12, 2023 at 12:30 am
So true!!!
Michael Gustavson
January 12, 2023 at 12:28 am
Maybe happy people tend to have more friends because happy people are more fun to be around.
Sue de Beer
January 12, 2023 at 1:17 am
The only one who ever has my back is God, No one thinks my authentic self is good enough. I am a naturally kind, caring and friendly person but when I have a bad period where I am struggling with something or in pain no one can handle it.
Tram Bui
January 12, 2023 at 1:30 am
Thank You so much Mr.Robert. I realized important things through your speech.
Kurdt K
January 12, 2023 at 4:38 am
definitely one of the most respectful, useful, and touching presentations ever. but the lady interrupts was just disturbing as she sounded so like she has no understanding of what he was all talking about, while she just tried so hard making her look smart and falied so badly. ugly.
𝕋𝕖𝕝𝕖𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕞 ⨥𝟭𝟳𝟳𝟯𝟯𝟴𝟮𝟬𝟳𝟲𝟵
January 12, 2023 at 7:58 am
𝕋𝕖𝕝𝕖𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕞 ⨥𝟭𝟳𝟳𝟯𝟯𝟴𝟮𝟬𝟳𝟲𝟵
*Thanks for watching send a direct message right away I will love to hear your thoughts on it and for more enlightenment✅👍*
say sakda
January 12, 2023 at 8:48 am
Thank you so much for your sharing
Lim Li Suang
January 12, 2023 at 10:18 am
Having doubts about myself after watching this video as I always think being alone is better than having any relationship with others.
Luật sư Nguyễn
January 12, 2023 at 12:51 pm
I was so lucky to listen to your talk a few years ago. I do not know how to say “thank you” enough. You inspired me so much and showed me the way I should go. I will keep your words for the rest of my life. Wish you all the best! Stay strong!
MMM Sunshine
January 12, 2023 at 3:55 pm
Well I guess I am dying early soo 🤷-at 50 plus I now enjoy my quiet alone time after years of lots of “friends” but that seems not to be the way to go…..
Chris Ellsworth
January 12, 2023 at 5:09 pm
Id be interested to know how relationships with pets fits into this. Might be another option for introverts.
Veyger
January 12, 2023 at 11:53 pm
This will end up in a Draw , Be in it our upbringing or other factors that have influenced all of a society , I will leave you with this. IF you think someone is odd or not how your use to in life, please treat them with respect. IF you want to discriminate for your religion , please get out of that religion. If you want to find god , go for it. , We all have one chance on this planet , My belief is simple ……..Try to understand.
Maria
January 13, 2023 at 3:53 am
Stress inevitable ?
Dung Tran Khanh
January 13, 2023 at 4:53 am
Thank you Prof., I have tried to connect with one of my best friends, even I have tried to meet him. Unfortunately, we haven’t had a good connection so that I can understand his problem. Now everything I can do is “let it be”, and waiting for a miracle.
Language Free Assange Teacher
January 13, 2023 at 12:14 pm
We are social beings after all. Thank you!
Mati os
January 14, 2023 at 11:43 pm
For me to have friends …is very nice…it makes..my life more happy.🙏..even 1 good friend..à persons Who is there for you…in good moments ..bad moments..make the diference in ours life…..of course…the friends go and come…and sometimes..is not easy make friends…
Language Free Assange Teacher
January 15, 2023 at 1:10 am
@Mati os Yes, friends are one key to a good life.
Alvaro L. Guevara
January 13, 2023 at 12:36 pm
The link to 1st video is broken
Teckno72
January 13, 2023 at 3:59 pm
I restarted a coffee club at work. I enjoy hearing about the lives of others every day. It has made all the difference. 😸😸
Teckno72
January 13, 2023 at 4:11 pm
I’m an introvert; but, when I get with my coffee club, I just bloom. 🌻🌻
JerryDonJr
January 13, 2023 at 4:09 pm
Social interaction as humans is very VItal.
Dani San
January 13, 2023 at 5:20 pm
Love this! So true ❤️
Sixten Johansson
January 13, 2023 at 9:47 pm
I want to be friends with this guy..
Cyndi Moring
January 13, 2023 at 10:58 pm
this is why I taught elementary school. those places are overflowing with love,
mrtransmogrify
January 14, 2023 at 4:45 am
The point I took away from this: A simple conversation even with a stranger makes one happy… I’m sure we can find a stranger every other day… I think that’s big 👍🏽
Weston Meckes
January 14, 2023 at 5:14 am
Shoutout to everyone watching this alone ❤️
circleoflife
January 14, 2023 at 6:43 am
All good relationships start with a healthy relationship with yourself.
I'm Alison Nguyen angel
January 14, 2023 at 12:25 pm
Greeting from Vietnam, can you help me to learn English?
Paul Wosik
January 14, 2023 at 2:09 pm
Lots of folks turn to alcohol to help relieve stress.
Poo Pootin
January 14, 2023 at 3:15 pm
I wonder where were you when I was may worst down on my knees
WIll Wigmore
January 14, 2023 at 4:56 pm
Well thanks a lot. What I took away from this is that people with “warm relationships” get all the good stuff. The rest of us are #@*ed. It reminds me of experiments where the kids with freckles are removed from the group. THere is an old saying that he/she who knows others is wise – he whos knows himself is enlightened. Sure it’s good to have relationships, but that is not eay to generate if you are solitary by nature….just sayin”
Sharon Toji
January 14, 2023 at 9:32 pm
This seems true to me, but then, you find that when you get very old, your friends die before you, or move into some kind of care home or have dementia. I can always talk to my sister, and my father was right — in the end, it is your family who is there for you — but she and her husband feel that it is now too dangerous for them at their age to drive cross country, and flying has become difficult and stressful as well, with passengers starting fights. I fear we will never see each other again. One of my best friends from my grad school days in Munich just wrote to me to see if I was OK. We will probably never get together again in person to exchange memories. My husband needs a caregiver full time and has dementia, so I have no one to drive with or talk with about our life together, and I have a physical problem that prevents me from driving more than a short distance. I can’t even attend my college reunion any longer, I have some professional friends who became personal friends as well, good ones, through my membership in the ANSI Committee on Disability, but we can no longer meet in person. Zoom just is not the same as being physically there with people, talking over breaks and lunch and supper during long meetings. And many friends from that group have also died or retired. These are the realities of a long life, and sadly, it seems to become a life without close friends. Right now, since I still stubbornly continue to work at almost 87, my young employee-co-workers are also my closest friends. They are my second family and my best friends. But of course, they have full lives outside work so although they are my best friends, I am not theirs.
Mike Bowman
January 14, 2023 at 9:39 pm
I saved this to Watch Later. I’m too unhealthy, lonely, and therefore unhappy to watch now. Not kidding around.
Aimee Sacks
January 15, 2023 at 7:00 pm
Relationships need attending to, watch it anyway.❤
tran ngoc huan
January 14, 2023 at 9:59 pm
Thanks for explaining clearly. You made my day.
Michael Cliffe
January 15, 2023 at 12:41 am
This man just radiates positive energy. I could listen to him for hours on end😊
Krishna Kumar
January 15, 2023 at 9:26 am
In a world with huge trust deficit, building relationships for the longer term take deliberate efforts. It is hard for it to happen naturally.
Sara F
January 15, 2023 at 2:56 pm
Smile seems fake
Ar M
January 15, 2023 at 5:02 pm
Good relationships starts at home and when you come from a dysfunctional family where you had no one to talk about how you feel; it becomes harder to develop healthy relationships anywhere you go. Overcoming trauma comes a priority and sometimes at 40 something; we are still trying to figure out how to connect with people in a healthy way. This theory is amazing for people who have stable family dynamic.
Vavilova Svetlana
January 15, 2023 at 5:17 pm
Huge thanks for this video. Finally I found what I need : such a calm voice, explaining it well. I understood everything easily without subtitles.
Evolution
January 15, 2023 at 8:00 pm
Thank you so much Dr Robert Waldinger. First time I Felt ilke someone understood me . Would Love to Join Your Study if you dont Mind
Ibrahim Lawal Ahmed
January 15, 2023 at 11:13 pm
Indeed, Prof. TEDx talk in 2015 has tremendous effect on me. Am glad to listen to this interview.