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The Art of Disagreeing with Dignity | Tami Pyfer | TED

Tami Pyfer has five kids who belong to five different political parties, and sometimes family conversations get heated. Drawing on her work as a former policy advisor to the governor of Utah, she wanted to find a healthier way for people to talk about politics without contempt. The result is the Dignity Index: an eight-point…

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Tami Pyfer has five kids who belong to five different political parties, and sometimes family conversations get heated. Drawing on her work as a former policy advisor to the governor of Utah, she wanted to find a healthier way for people to talk about politics without contempt. The result is the Dignity Index: an eight-point scale that measures the language we use to disagree, aiming to ease political divisions. What score do you think your last conversation would get? (Recorded at TED Democracy Philadelphia on June 13, 2026)

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16 Comments

16 Comments

  1. @RealFTFC

    November 3, 2026 at 11:01 am

    DYLAN AND THE DOGS IS BETTER

  2. @Arafat-rs1nv

    November 3, 2026 at 11:03 am

    fisrt view

  3. @jonayedislam2890

    November 3, 2026 at 11:03 am

    ok 2nd btw

  4. @AndogaSpock

    November 3, 2026 at 11:13 am

    When the core of your personality is about not paying taxes, making sure 0.0% of your money goes to public benefit (these people will immediately change the words public benefit to something nasty), you will align with any party that gets you closer to that goal, and defend any attrocity that party does.

  5. @suny1265

    November 3, 2026 at 11:30 am

    Such utter garbage this channel has become

  6. @carpathic

    November 3, 2026 at 11:33 am

    So husband voted Trump but doesn’t want to admit it. She likely voted Trump, raised at least two kids who likely voted Trump and I’m supposed to accept this family and reach across the aisle?

    I don’t see myself in you. I don’t look down on you and it’s not my job to look for common ground with you.

  7. @PeoplesOpinions

    November 3, 2026 at 11:52 am

    Your husband’s offer to help you connect with that room makes the mirror effect concrete. When I make videos about people’s views, I try to keep understanding separate from agreement. It’s much harder, and more useful, to notice contempt in our own words than to score someone else’s.

  8. @tatiyana8934

    November 3, 2026 at 12:06 pm

    “evil” in human relations / and in politics/ this evil is usually very strong and has no “politically correct” restrictions for itself – it behaves like in “fights without rules”. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE (!) to resist such evil by keeping “politess” and imposing restrictions on oneself in terms of “humane” and “civilized” behavior. it’s like the whole Roman Empire fell from the barbarian invasion.. / or Europe was almost completely captured by Hitler’s army in the early days of World War II…
    the consequences, the price, and costs of a “polite” confrontation “according to the rules” can be very “inhumane”… and anti-civilized😔

    p.s. I ve desided that it would be honest to add the signature, that I m writing from Msk/rus.😔
    and i would define my political views like I’m the follower of the board of meritocracy: highly educated candidates with strong humanistic people-saving/(human rights) and nature-saving priorities

    p.s.2. I see that the problem is that “politics” is not about some kind of abstractions – it’s about choosing which values and principles of a worldview should be in the foundation (/in the basis). this is a very important choice for every person, and the options for this choice are up to the exact opposite. I can’t imagine how I can force myself to “respect” a person who is convinced that everything that is important and valuable to me, in his opinion, should be banned/destroyed/ and subject to condemnation… what kind of attitude can there be with dignity?..

    • @tatiyana8934

      November 3, 2026 at 12:36 pm

      p.s.3. (subcomment)) I thought about it after I listened to the end, and the first thing that came to mind was “what kind of respect (/dignity) for the opponent of my opinion can I talk about, when it’s a damn “live-or-die fight.”..
      and the next thought was about boxing… oddly enough…
      I thought, that Even in the most brutal and desperate boxing, there are rules. and the referee…

  9. @bobdog17

    November 3, 2026 at 12:09 pm

    MAGA Republican feels it important to teach others to be polite.

  10. @susana9912

    November 3, 2026 at 12:27 pm

    People in all countries deserve dignity as well. The USA is commiting atrocities and is moving under the power of underqualified and corrupt politicians.

  11. @juanjoseguva

    November 3, 2026 at 1:22 pm

    The political party you support denies the dignity of immigrants, brown people abroad and at home, queer people, women, and many others based on inherent human characteristics. It is monstrous to frame your genocidal political cohort as simply having a disagreement we have to be civil about.

    • @niklaswassermann9971

      November 3, 2026 at 4:39 pm

      This is a very dignified answer with the core truth that I was looking for the second I heard her say republican in this day and age. I do hope we get back to discussing the merit of different angles on politics, and not the necessity to fight fascism, nationalism and racism (you can combine those three words into one if you *really* use your imagination), but there are big changes that need to take place before we can pretend there was any equlibrium between the parties.

  12. @doubleuenbeeeh

    November 3, 2026 at 1:35 pm

    LOL an education policy advisor in Utah 😂🤡

  13. @gmantalk

    November 3, 2026 at 2:20 pm

    The distinction that the index scores language, not people, is especially useful. It leaves room to own a harsh comment and choose a better response without treating anyone as permanently defined by their worst exchange. That matters in family conversations as much as public ones.

  14. @YairYepez

    November 3, 2026 at 2:45 pm

    This is fine and dandy but it’s just trying to move everybody towards centrism. Which gets absolutely nothing accomplished… It only preserves the status of the privilege ones. If this index is going to be of some use for our democracy is to use it to disqualify people from running to any office. If somebody has comments orbitz that score five or less in this index then they should be permanetly for life de Spotify for running for office like the current president Trump and every disgusting supremacist in his administration.

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