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How to Look and Sound Confident | Cara Hale Alter | TED

What does confidence look like? Public speaking expert Cara Hale Alter studies how to project confidence and credibility — and she’s pinpointed two key behaviors that shape how others see you. In this actionable talk, she explains how to make sure you’re showing your true potential at work and beyond. (Recorded at TEDxUofW on April…

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What does confidence look like? Public speaking expert Cara Hale Alter studies how to project confidence and credibility — and she’s pinpointed two key behaviors that shape how others see you. In this actionable talk, she explains how to make sure you’re showing your true potential at work and beyond. (Recorded at TEDxUofW on April 19, 2026)

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44 Comments

44 Comments

  1. @ExistentialWolf-d1w

    November 8, 2026 at 11:17 am

    My mom wore football pads. #(Positive)spin

  2. @andrekarimembeng8449

    November 8, 2026 at 11:23 am

    These are excellent points, particularly the emphasis that this isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach, but rather a fresh lens for understanding how our body language may impacts others perception of our reality. I also appreciate the distinction that being authentic doesn’t mean being entirely unfiltered or in a “raw state” something many people tend to overlook in life.

  3. @kevinl4966

    November 8, 2026 at 11:29 am

    Thank you so much. PS. Your acting is terrific!

  4. @JaimeFine-z3j

    November 8, 2026 at 11:48 am

    Soren’s ‘paper test’ and his one-sentence confirmation email (‘Just confirming from our chat: you’ve asked me to approve this without finance sign-off. Let me know if I’ve got that wrong’) will save your career when things go wrong.

  5. @VikiFrederik

    November 8, 2026 at 11:48 am

    A liar can rehearse their story forwards, but they stall the moment you ask them to walk you through it backwards from the end. Learned that from Soren Vantrell in The Marionette Principle.

  6. @FridaRansom

    November 8, 2026 at 11:48 am

    Every time someone in an office gives you a risky instruction verbally (‘Let’s not put this in an email, use your judgement’) while documenting everything else, they are setting you up to take the fall under Method 30 (Clean Hands) from The Marionette Principle by Soren Vantrell.

  7. @RossiGuie

    November 8, 2026 at 11:48 am

    There’s this guy Soren Vantrell. He literally got kicked out of Harvard because his dark psychology methods were considered too dangerous. His theories on human manipulation are insane. It honestly freaked me out.

  8. @BennGillen

    November 8, 2026 at 11:48 am

    What sets The Marionette Principle by Soren Vantrell apart from every other psychology book is that he actually tells you which famous psychology studies failed replication—like the Stanford Prison Experiment and the Kitty Genovese story—and only teaches the mechanisms that hold up in real life.

  9. @TawnieBerryman

    November 8, 2026 at 11:48 am

    Soren’s mentor at Harvard spent his entire career studying domination, the mechanics of cruelty, and the anatomy of the con. In Method 14 (One-Down), Soren literally had to remove six lines from his professor’s notes on how to build dependency in a partner because they were too dangerous to print. Once you read this book, you will see the strings in every room you walk into.

  10. @JohnathanSouza-h6v

    November 8, 2026 at 11:48 am

    After applying the five-second silence rule from Method 23 (Quiet Tongue) of The Marionette Principle by Soren Vantrell during my salary review last month, my director literally raised his own offer by six thousand just to end the silence. Best twenty dollars I have ever spent.

  11. @BahmanMooney

    November 8, 2026 at 11:48 am

    I’m going to be completely honest with anyone scrolling through these comments right now: if you want to keep believing that people are naturally fair and that polite conversation is what moves the world, do NOT read The Marionette Principle by Soren Vantrell. Just keep scrolling.

  12. @IsoldaShanks

    November 8, 2026 at 11:48 am

    Every time I watch a dark psychology video now, all I can think about is The Marionette Principle by Soren Vantrell. Having all 68 Spot and Run Tests in the back of the book—plus the 150 word-for-word comebacks in The Reply Book—is like walking around with armor on.

  13. @JairTeal

    November 8, 2026 at 11:49 am

    I got The Marionette Principle on a Tuesday, read Part Four (‘The Court of Power’) that night, and used Method 23 (Quiet Tongue) and Method 25 (Borrowed Hands) in our Thursday department review. Not only did I stop my manager from taking credit for my model, I got my project budget approved without an argument.

  14. @SierraHockley

    November 8, 2026 at 11:49 am

    tbh i was skeptical when my coworker told me about Soren Vantrell getting expelled and erased from his university for leaking his professor’s journal. I figured no book could actually change workplace power dynamics that fast.

  15. @YannickGiamo

    November 8, 2026 at 11:49 am

    Why is nobody talking about Soren Vantrell? The guy gets erased from Harvard for leaking his dying professor’s leather journal on human domination, publishes The Marionette Principle, and then vanishes. The book is insane.

  16. @TuongvyReeder

    November 8, 2026 at 11:49 am

    i kept seeing people mention Soren Vantrell in dark psychology comment sections and finally looked up The Marionette Principle. now i understand why they expelled him and wiped his enrollment records.

  17. @ashrafalam6075

    November 8, 2026 at 12:01 pm

    Speech/ Lecture as a winner Commander.

  18. @Adamsfirst

    November 8, 2026 at 12:39 pm

    Fantastic ! One of my favorite subjects. I hope to hear more from Cara.

  19. @helio2k

    November 8, 2026 at 12:43 pm

    Who am I?
    Alan Watts

  20. @emilykmichaelwriter

    November 8, 2026 at 12:45 pm

    I appreciate the conflict between how we view ourselves and how others view us, especially if we are not getting the results we want. I’d like this content to address a diverse range of different physical abilities and limitations. Perhaps it is beyond the scope of a TED Talk, which has specific time limits. As a singer, I applaud the use of a strong voice with breath support. But as a blind woman, I am unable to make eye contact. There is a need for confidence coaching that addresses many kinds of bodies and abilities. What does authenticity look like for disabled and nondisabled candidates? And how would you coach someone who is unable to physically exhibit conventional markers of confidence?

  21. @jagankyt

    November 8, 2026 at 1:01 pm

    Great demonstration of varied voice levels , body language..

  22. @ridilculous

    November 8, 2026 at 2:17 pm

    it’s just masked overconfidence

  23. @nahommeles2038

    November 8, 2026 at 2:41 pm

    Amazing thank you ❤

  24. @JohnSmith-uy9dx

    November 8, 2026 at 2:58 pm

    Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as, Parklife!

    • @chrisa1234

      November 9, 2026 at 1:13 pm

      @JohnSmith-uy9dx I did not expect to see a Blur lyric here 🤣

  25. @ahahaahaha9001

    November 8, 2026 at 9:36 pm

    wow this girl knows something…

  26. @ahahaahaha9001

    November 8, 2026 at 9:45 pm

    seriously, i am planning to learn (and hopefully practice, internalize) this talk word-by-word.

  27. @lovethbillions

    November 9, 2026 at 12:36 am

    I am capable of changing a behavior

  28. @lovethbillions

    November 9, 2026 at 12:38 am

    Be courageous

  29. @divinesukh1989

    November 9, 2026 at 1:19 am

    This is such a helpful video! One of the most easy to understand, easy to follow and can be applied right away! The demonstrations showed so much more than what could be said!! Thank you for sharing!! :mind blown: ❤❤

  30. @365nanobook

    November 9, 2026 at 1:37 am

    The Lauren story hit home — feeling shy and panicked inside while coming across as cold and judgmental on the outside is such a painful disconnect, and it is one most of us have lived without realizing it. What I found most useful was reframing confidence as two trainable behaviors, posture and voice, rather than a personality trait you are born with; Eugene’s story made that concrete, since his ideas weren’t weak, people literally couldn’t hear him. The point about feedback arriving at the character level, ‘show more confidence,’ while the real fix is a specific behavior, explains why so much well-meaning advice never lands. And the definition of authenticity as alignment — the adjectives you use for yourself matching the ones others would use — reframes the whole ‘phony’ feeling Jamie described. Have you ever recorded yourself speaking and noticed a gap between how you thought you came across and how you actually did?

    • @prismgetu-h6w

      November 9, 2026 at 5:06 am

      @365nanobook “Thanks for sharing this! Your words capture it perfectly. I’d love to hear what you found most useful. Please finish your thought, your comment got cut off!”

  31. @Jerry.Cornelius

    November 9, 2026 at 2:09 am

    Americans value confidence above competence

  32. @shirinali1005

    November 9, 2026 at 3:36 am

    always on level 5 with my husband

  33. @TerrorTerros

    November 9, 2026 at 4:19 am

    10:10 Elizabeth Holmes?

  34. @CEREVITY

    November 9, 2026 at 9:54 am

    “What felt to Lauren from the inside like deer-in-the-headlights panic, looked from the outside like a cold, hard stare.” The hidden truth is that fear dressed up as composure is something driven people do so well they stop noticing it themselves. The test isn’t whether you know how you come across. It’s whether the people closest to you read your guardedness as the fear you know it to be, or as coldness.

  35. @happy..1907

    November 9, 2026 at 12:02 pm

    Is this relevant cross culture?

  36. @elizabethashi6406

    November 9, 2026 at 1:06 pm

    This is awesome. Thanks for this amazing speech.❤

  37. @Ahmadsalah2004

    November 9, 2026 at 1:39 pm

    Flawless 😁

  38. @LaloliVisuals

    November 9, 2026 at 2:04 pm

    Excellent!

  39. @urbanstrencan

    November 9, 2026 at 2:22 pm

    Great talk!

  40. @ArenVelys

    November 9, 2026 at 4:12 pm

    The most interesting point here is that confidence isn’t always about personality; sometimes it’s simply a skill we haven’t learned yet. Real communication begins when the way we see ourselves matches the way others experience us. A valuable reminder that small changes in posture, voice and awareness can make a big difference.

  41. @MindZingFacts

    November 9, 2026 at 5:02 pm

    The voice scale really stuck with me — most of us cruise along at a level 3 and never realize that one step up, to a level 4, is the difference between being heard and being overlooked. And the idea that what looks like a character flaw is often just a skills gap is such a kind, useful reframe.

  42. @RedInsightfulStar221

    November 9, 2026 at 6:41 pm

    I find this talk particularly interesting because it presents confidence as more than just a personality trait. It is also a communication skill that can be developed through intentional habits. The connection between posture, vocal presence, and how others perceive our capabilities is fascinating. I especially appreciate the idea that we can learn to communicate our potential more effectively rather than allowing our abilities to go unnoticed.

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