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Why I’m Done Trying To Be “Man Enough” | Justin Baldoni @TED

An outspoken feminist, Justin Baldoni has been doubling down on his efforts to start a dialogue with men to redefine masculinity. Watch his full TED Talk:

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An outspoken feminist, Justin Baldoni has been doubling down on his efforts to start a dialogue with men to redefine masculinity. Watch his full TED Talk:

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54 Comments

54 Comments

  1. @JD91909

    October 9, 2024 at 1:10 pm

    Ur creating soft times doing this……

    • @kintyjtheaardvark5549

      October 9, 2024 at 2:38 pm

      Define “soft times” because I don’t know what that means, but you say it like we should be hitting our heads on rocks to avoid it.

    • @JoeBlack-mz2yd

      October 9, 2024 at 5:40 pm

      @@kintyjtheaardvark5549 I believe he’s referring to this quote:
      “Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times”
      Though he used the word soft instead of weak.

    • @kintyjtheaardvark5549

      October 11, 2024 at 11:24 am

      @@JoeBlack-mz2yd ahh I see, so “strong” in his mind is the same as being afraid of the color pink. Good to know.

    • @JoeBlack-mz2yd

      October 12, 2024 at 11:28 am

      @@kintyjtheaardvark5549 Nothing he said gave me any implication that he thinks that but you’re welcome to that perspective. It’s an old quote though so what differences do you think it’s referring to when it says strong men and weak men?

  2. @joeyg283

    October 9, 2024 at 1:11 pm

    💯

  3. @thinkbeyond3457

    October 9, 2024 at 1:23 pm

    Woman are going to be graduating college at three times the rate. If some men are scared of losing power and control, get back to school.

  4. @miranda8952

    October 9, 2024 at 1:25 pm

    Yeah Justin!!!

  5. @shirkaner6548

    October 9, 2024 at 1:33 pm

    touching ❤

  6. @bullmarcus4853

    October 9, 2024 at 1:37 pm

    Dis guy wouldn’t stand a chance anywhere. Ultra beta. Nobody likes the school hall monitor (all ppl) except Karens. Male attributes make us safe and healthy as a society. He’d run at the first sight of danger. Seen that behavior in guys like him before.

    • @katmar7870

      October 9, 2024 at 1:41 pm

      This comment is more a tell about yourself than anything else. Try to be better, then maybe someone can love you someday.

    • @Azreal420

      October 9, 2024 at 2:10 pm

      @@katmar7870Pretty sure he doesn’t need anyone else to love him. Men have to learn to love themselves, not rely on the love of others for strength or validation. Your idea of what a “Man” is, is deeply flawed and promotes the very weakness mentioned in this comment. Needing validation from another, doesn’t make a man stronger, but weaker. A woman telling a man how to be a better man, is laughable and exactly what is wrong with today’s society. Fathers are there to show boys how to be men. It’s when women try to teach boys how to be men, that we have problems. Women do not understand the mentality that is necessary for a man to be a mature and responsible man. They know what they want from a man, but not how to BE a man, that is the difference.

    • @Propyl22

      October 9, 2024 at 3:18 pm

      ​@@Azreal420What’s what you wrote got to do with what Katmar said? You went off on a tangent and started targeting different things like what women say. Your comment shows more about where you mind is at.

    • @Propyl22

      October 9, 2024 at 3:18 pm

      ​@@Azreal420What has what you wrote got to do with what Katmar said? You went off on a tangent and started targeting different things like what women say. Your comment shows more about where your mind is at.

    • @Propyl22

      October 9, 2024 at 3:19 pm

      Oh dear. No one uses the word beta unless they are beta. Whatever that means anyway.

    • @longfishy

      October 9, 2024 at 7:53 pm

      ​@@katmar7870 Real!

  7. @jeffknott1975

    October 9, 2024 at 1:40 pm

    Can we redefine what being a man is? (Because I can’t achieve what other men achieve so let’s change it so I can fit into that category)
    I think this talk was more for himself than anyone else!

    • @longfishy

      October 9, 2024 at 7:50 pm

      Are you OK?

    • @Bridenbrad

      October 10, 2024 at 2:06 pm

      tell me you are threatened by his ideas without telling me you are threatened by his ideas

    • @jeffknott1975

      October 10, 2024 at 2:22 pm

      ​@@longfishy that question is definitely up for debate! I think I’m ok but you’d find many people with something to say about that 😂

    • @jeffknott1975

      October 10, 2024 at 2:47 pm

      ​@@Bridenbrad lol oh no I’ve been found out, it’s like you stared straight into my soul, how do you do it? Amazing gift you have there I’m sat here crying and feeling embarrassed…honestly I am 🤭

    • @Bridenbrad

      October 10, 2024 at 2:50 pm

      @@jeffknott1975 it’s ok buddy, you are expressing your emotions and that is the first step to being a better man according to this video.

  8. @littledragonchild1757

    October 9, 2024 at 1:47 pm

    …. He’s saying to stop being held back by what some people think men should be …. so that you can act how different people want men to be. He’s still saying that you need to man up, and be strong.

    Locker room talk and sexual harassment isn’t what being a man is about. It’s about being strong enough to be kind. Strong enough emotionally to confront your failures and weaknesses and turn them into strengths. The first part of what he said about being vulnerable with yourself is true strength.

    Listen to what people are saying and determine whether you think it’s true. And if you find it to be false, do not allow it to change you. If you can’t stand up to women or men who are trying to tell you what you have to be, you don’t have the strength of character to control your own life.

  9. @nopenope5203

    October 9, 2024 at 2:12 pm

    To be forthright, Yes. I am in fact man enough to do all that. Why would I though? Every time I would get in a relationship and open up, sure it’s all sunshine and rainbows in the moment. Then the next time the woman I’m with get’s mad over something stupid like not cleaning a room to her standard, it turns into a dagger to stab straight into my heart. Women are absolutely feral when it comes to emotionally attacking someone. They grab at any weapon within reach to hit you with. So if you’ve opened up to someone you’ve gotten together with, congratulations. You are superman, and you just gave them kryptonite.

    You could probably open up to your best and closest guy friends and things will be fine. I would never trust a woman to have my best interests in mind though.

    Lastly the locker room talk. 1) I never encounter that anymore. It’s something you only really see with immature “dudebros”. I’d never want to socialize with that sort of crowd anyways. 2) outside of that type of group, whenever men talk like that, 95% of it has no seriousness behind it. It’s generally a way of sharing appreciation for feminine beauty without coming across as feminine ourselves. 3) If I shove my head into a conversation like what is happening in this theoretical locker room, no matter what I’m plan on saying I am an outsider to the conversation. Best case scenario I get a polite snub or brushing away. Worst case scenario, the entire group focuses on me with a negative outlook on my personality. I’m sure anyone with a brain can imagine what a bunch of dudebros might do to a single guy that rudely interrupted a conversation they have no involvement with. It’s literally worth less then nothing to stick my neck out for a conversation that will never leave that locker room.

    TLDR: You know nothing Justin.

  10. @XalacSeth

    October 9, 2024 at 2:20 pm

    Sad to see that most comments are from guys failing at the challenge this man is giving them.

    • @longfishy

      October 9, 2024 at 7:55 pm

      Yep…

  11. @kintyjtheaardvark5549

    October 9, 2024 at 2:42 pm

    Ok, the comments of this short are just telling me people need to read more. Id recommend Lord of the rings or the Bible.

    • @JoeBlack-mz2yd

      October 12, 2024 at 11:29 am

      I recommend Berserk.

  12. @RaX_369

    October 9, 2024 at 4:37 pm

    💜💜💜

  13. @KYRaSYM_

    October 9, 2024 at 8:34 pm

    This is great

  14. @PeterMcCoy

    October 9, 2024 at 10:01 pm

    Never used a tool is his life.

    • @kortiz3931

      October 10, 2024 at 2:56 am

      You mean he didn’t use his advices? Probably yes😂

    • @PeterMcCoy

      October 10, 2024 at 3:12 am

      @@kortiz3931 he’s the kinda guy when he has a problem with his car or house, he has to call a man to do it for him.

    • @kortiz3931

      October 10, 2024 at 5:24 am

      @@PeterMcCoy well with many modern cars it’s inevitable, but other questions if you can’t find the actual problem and try to fix it – youll be hard in finding a woman or even friends, that’s how a man world works. And his speech is just some words without any point to gain likes or manipulation.

    • @longfishy

      October 10, 2024 at 4:35 pm

      ​@@kortiz3931 Aren’t you the cynical type?

    • @kortiz3931

      October 10, 2024 at 4:45 pm

      @@longfishy I’m realistic aristocratic type )

  15. @Allofussurvived

    October 9, 2024 at 10:44 pm

    No theirs no such thing as being man enough

  16. @anaderol5408

    October 10, 2024 at 12:06 am

    Hmm. No doubt he means well but to me it sounds yet again as an attempt to change men – to make men fit into a 21st century mould – of course no sane person should ignore or sanction psychopathic behaviour but the great majority of men are not psychopaths – have men not been “castrated” enough? What is the end goal? What is society’s problem with the men who have protected us from tyrants / who have built our cities / who have discovered cures and created amazing technologies. Etc etc

  17. @the_meccaneer

    October 10, 2024 at 4:42 am

    Its Brene Brown in disguise!

  18. @KynaruHelio

    October 10, 2024 at 6:59 am

    Use the same qualities that make you feel like a man… to then go deeper into yourself? 😂 very interesting choice of words

  19. @MYWARSTORY1

    October 10, 2024 at 7:03 pm

    👀

  20. @keithfox7315

    October 10, 2024 at 7:14 pm

    Be vulnerable, like women.
    Be available for women.
    Be open to women’s thoughts & opinions.
    Be ________ __ women.
    Are we supposed to be women? Or what?
    Is there a reason that a woman should stop trying to be a woman.
    Is one superior over another?
    Is the goal to become some generic “in between?”
    What is he defining as real manhood?
    Something extreme that needs to toned down?
    Should a man or woman just try to be less of either a man or a woman?
    Or just try to keep our gender/humanity, and try to be less selfish?

    • @Propyl22

      October 11, 2024 at 10:16 am

      @@keithfox7315 the answer is somewhere in-between everything and nothing. Life is way way too complex yet for some reason the majority of us place ourselves in boxes and label ourselves a particular way to fit in and feel like part of something.

      Life is way to too complex to compartmentalize. Life is multilayered, multifaceted, and multidimensional, so to place limitations and expectations on it is self defeating.

      So if a man carves his own path in life and stays true to himself, e.g showing vulnerability in front of others, if he does it because it’s genuine to HIM, he doesn’t have to make excuses for himself or seek anyone’s validation for it. He’ll draw in the right kind of people. I think that’s what the person was trying to portray.

    • @Propyl22

      October 11, 2024 at 10:16 am

      @@keithfox7315 the answer is somewhere in-between everything and nothing. Unfortunately the majority of guys get way too bogged down with the nitty gritty details early on. This is by design due to the way we think. The majority of us place ourselves in boxes and label ourselves a particular way to fit in and feel like part of something.

      Life is way too complex to compartmentalize. Life is multilayered, multifaceted, and multidimensional, so to place limitations and expectations on it is self defeating.

      So if a man carves his own path in life and stays true to himself, e.g showing vulnerability in front of others, if he does it because it’s genuine to HIM, he doesn’t have to make excuses for himself or seek anyone’s validation for it. There may be women who will mock him for showing vulnerability. Well guess what – those women are disqualifying themselves, which is a great filter. He’ll draw in the right kind of people for being honest to himself.

      Yet unfortunately many of us are so desperate to fit in and be noticed that we end up sacrificing ourselves and our morals – we then end up drawing in the wrong kind of people.

    • @JoeBlack-mz2yd

      October 12, 2024 at 11:34 am

      @@Propyl22 Do you believe there is such a thing as a defined “real man” and if not does that mean if another man has opposite points of view as this dude does that mean they’re both equally Manly? If not it would have to mean there are some things that manly and some that are not regardless of what path you choose or how genuine they are. I’m sure psychopaths who hurt people are also true to themselves but we don’t consider that manly just because he’s being genuine to himself.

    • @Propyl22

      October 12, 2024 at 1:24 pm

      @@JoeBlack-mz2yd no, there is no such thing as a defined real man. And if anyone tells you there is, they have to give full context as to what that means otherwise they’re just another grifter trying to indoctrinate you into something that they will benefit from like andrew tate who targeted vulnerable men.

      That’s what it’s about vulnerability. Both showing it, and knowing whether you’re vulnerable. A lot of guys don’t realise both ends of this spectrum.

      Imagine you are a vulnerable young man who is seeking answers to your issues such as the inability to find love. You’re frustrated. Along comes a person who spells out your issues to you. You fall for their spellbinding ways because they are speaking to your emotions. Before you know it, you’re deep down a rabbit hole, which has taken you further away from your goals. Now it’s both difficult to get out of the new mindset you’re in, plus you have a hatred for women, which was never there when you started your journey for love.

      Now consider the ability to show vulnerability. It means you have bags of experience, are at peace with yourself, and that you have the capacity to show emotions because you are comfortable in your own skin. This is what men lack. They also lack resilience and character. Have a look at the interview on diary of a CEO with Dr. K. We’re going through one of the worst cycles of broken men in society currently.

      As I’ve said, there’s no defined ‘real man’ – society has a say about it. Basically don’t be either extreme ends of the spectrum.

      The question comes down to: What do you want from life?

  21. @DIZZY-n6s

    October 10, 2024 at 8:26 pm

    Never ‘tried’ being man enough but always aim for better …i ‘am’ enough ,making my way through all labels of inadequacy,i am today…last of the intentional breed,the man portrayed in my being… only model in my role…yeah..i know…toot-toot*my horn!!
    Great advise there Justee…how old is your boys now??

  22. @villagecpa

    October 10, 2024 at 11:40 pm

    Wuss! 😂

  23. @buildthewallwiththewoke

    October 11, 2024 at 2:41 pm

    Ask this guy to define woman.

  24. @a.m.1409

    October 11, 2024 at 5:59 pm

    and when they hurt us? i hope that is on your mind too

  25. @drew.p.weiner

    October 11, 2024 at 7:47 pm

    Boi soft 😅

  26. @DerXavia

    October 13, 2024 at 2:17 pm

    went to another topic real quick in the end.

  27. @КирилИванов-д7г

    October 14, 2024 at 5:45 pm

    Being snitch gay not cool mate 🤦 mind your business one day it might save your live

  28. @shawnkeyes4379

    October 14, 2024 at 6:48 pm

    I am today because of a spiritual experience and lots of work on my ego. I was the locker room guy for most of my life. Today I have serenity

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