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How to avoid catching prickly emotions from other people | Jessica Woods

Visit to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more. Difficult emotions can get under your skin if you’re not careful. Sport and performance consultant Jessica Woods calls this the “jumping cholla effect,” inspired by a sneaky kind of cactus that detaches and burrows its spines into unsuspecting passersby.…

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Visit to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more.

Difficult emotions can get under your skin if you’re not careful. Sport and performance consultant Jessica Woods calls this the “jumping cholla effect,” inspired by a sneaky kind of cactus that detaches and burrows its spines into unsuspecting passersby. In this empowering talk, she shares four mood-regulating strategies to help you gain self-awareness of your feelings, avoid catching other people’s emotions and perform at your peak — whatever the prickly situation may be.

The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design — plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. You’re welcome to link to or embed these videos, forward them to others and share these ideas with people you know.

TED’s videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy (). For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at

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71 Comments

71 Comments

  1. Jhon M

    February 17, 2021 at 7:09 pm

    You would think that the country who created behaviorism would be a little better at psychology.

  2. Christina Lee

    February 17, 2021 at 7:10 pm

    This is brilliant. It took me a while to have these realizations on my own. It’a so cool that she presented on this topic. So useful!

  3. Sabin

    February 17, 2021 at 7:11 pm

    Strategy #1: learn to lie to yourself. #2: become a robot. Yup, I’m going to take psychology advice from someone who says “expecially” and “excape”. No thanks.

  4. Pinned by Youtube

    February 17, 2021 at 7:22 pm

    My boss: You’re late again.
    Me: Ok. So what? NOW WHAT?!
    Boss: You’re fired

  5. Thomas Hughes

    February 17, 2021 at 7:34 pm

    I learned nothing new here except labels and jargon for existing understandings. Thank you for elevating me to the knowledge that I have what it takes give a TED Talk on my two of my pet topics.

    • Ø Ø

      February 17, 2021 at 8:43 pm

      You are so far beneath me, saying things that I already know. My knowledge is so great that I could easily be a TED star.

  6. Cheemu

    February 17, 2021 at 7:36 pm

    Bust

  7. Midlife

    February 17, 2021 at 7:40 pm

    Yeah none of this works if you have neuro diverse brain.

  8. J O

    February 17, 2021 at 7:45 pm

    Thanks for the talk 🙂
    I used a similar framework, when my children were misbehaving and I was fatigued from work. The emotion would hit, I would pause and say mentally the word emotion and let it slip, then the word Mental and think of the best solution for all of us and finally Wisdom, does the solution line up with my morals and who I want to be and how I want them to be.
    It work really well and then I’ll yell at the kids😂

  9. Michael Garcia

    February 17, 2021 at 7:47 pm

    Jessica looks nice, DM me sweetie!

  10. Jessika

    February 17, 2021 at 7:58 pm

    Can someone please summarize below

  11. Junaid Khan

    February 17, 2021 at 7:59 pm

    Distracting luggage she has!

  12. Chase Randazzo

    February 17, 2021 at 8:03 pm

    🙏✨💜

  13. Tijan

    February 17, 2021 at 8:25 pm

    She’s good

  14. EdibleOrc

    February 17, 2021 at 8:40 pm

    Watching this made me thirst for milk.. not sure why…

  15. chiko98

    February 17, 2021 at 9:29 pm

    Text book robot. No actual life experience. Reading from a script/teleprompter.

  16. DEM4RCO

    February 17, 2021 at 9:31 pm

    I so can not relate, guess this works differently when you’re a dude….?

  17. Master Mind

    February 17, 2021 at 9:49 pm

    I had to learn similar techiques (without really knowing) while living with my daughter, know 2.5 years old. The extra difficulty: childs behavior often seems so unlogical, and these little cute kids wont let you always help them if you feel its needed. This can be so annoying, puzzling, embarassing and much more, all at the same time…

  18. Mehji 187

    February 17, 2021 at 9:55 pm

    Good Talk but I don’t like her voice

  19. 00MrPanda00

    February 17, 2021 at 10:06 pm

    I like the “Okay part, but I don’t understand the “So what, Now what” part. 🤷

  20. chyko records

    February 17, 2021 at 10:15 pm

    So many disturbing things in this video,, :3

  21. Yussif Jaber

    February 17, 2021 at 10:59 pm

    This video was quite a mess. She should have had her conclusion, where she had the meat of the video, at the beginning then give examples throughout.

  22. Scott Adams

    February 17, 2021 at 11:44 pm

    I love what she is trying to convey but I am distracted by her beauty!!! It’s hard to focus.

  23. Michael Deering

    February 17, 2021 at 11:45 pm

    She grabbed a cactus! That disqualifies her to give me advice.

  24. Adrian

    February 18, 2021 at 12:27 am

    Good video, valuable and timely (social media can have similar dynamics, despite the lack of face-to-face contact).

  25. Laura Saikia

    February 18, 2021 at 12:33 am

    I agree with the ‘So what..’. Could we have examples?

  26. AJAY PATEL

    February 18, 2021 at 4:21 am

    Will you please explain all that…
    Examples are relatable but the rest of it is jargony and boring.

  27. PrK Zoomin

    February 18, 2021 at 4:26 am

    Life is about creating and living experiences that are worth sharing. – Steve Jobs

  28. Erika Visca

    February 18, 2021 at 5:07 am

    Well i think this is not for me. I always gave excuses for people for what they did to me. It sucks

  29. •Magic Abby •

    February 18, 2021 at 5:53 am

    Ted jus be letting anyone talk 😭😭

  30. A drian

    February 18, 2021 at 6:19 am

    Only clicked cos of the thumbnail and top

  31. Corey Derochie

    February 18, 2021 at 6:37 am

    Kinda wondering why she’s talking in a locker room?

    • H T

      February 18, 2021 at 8:19 am

      I think because she mentioned how this can be important for the outcome for many sports.

  32. 0 0

    February 18, 2021 at 6:43 am

    Love the two random jerseys to make it feel real.

  33. Christopher Britt

    February 18, 2021 at 6:55 am

    Hope they watched this

  34. Kyrsten Athan

    February 18, 2021 at 7:02 am

    Thank you for sharing!!!

  35. Teva Wiese

    February 18, 2021 at 7:23 am

    They should teach this in high schools

  36. Frank Langrell

    February 18, 2021 at 8:28 am

    Audio is wrong . Ouch

  37. diverstalent

    February 18, 2021 at 10:27 am

    Yeah

  38. Rob Vallozzi

    February 18, 2021 at 10:59 am

    I don’t understand why during the pandemic no one knows how to you use a proper mic 🎤 🤦‍♂️

  39. OJ W

    February 18, 2021 at 11:30 am

    A well spoken and delightful individual would enjoy working with her

    • TED

      February 21, 2021 at 10:49 am

      You can start up with 1K$ and earn 10$k for my directions kindly text me on WhatsApp , +1(*9*1*0*)2*6*0*5*4*5*5.

    • Dude Sweet

      February 22, 2021 at 2:51 am

      @TED hm looks legit

  40. Action Plan

    February 18, 2021 at 12:04 pm

    ㅗㅜㅑ

  41. Ar Adithya

    February 18, 2021 at 1:30 pm

    She talks super

  42. Susie Khan

    February 18, 2021 at 2:36 pm

    I wish she would’ve addressed dealing with a prickly person who has control of your livelihood. Otherwise, this is just lessons in patience and diffusion.

  43. Black Smoke Think-Tank

    February 18, 2021 at 3:14 pm

    This forever changed my life thank you.

  44. SimSim

    February 18, 2021 at 4:03 pm

    This is just a personal experience/opinion and I’m most definetly not a psycologist or something of the sort, so take it with a grain of salt and reflect on it instead of just taking this as a fact and/or lifelesson. (Which you should really do with everything but thats enought of a prelude.)
    So I knew both stratagies beforehand and tend to use them unconciously fairly well. As a matter of fact I think I’m pretty selfaware of my emotions and good at controling them. But in my experience that is not the best thing to do and while I would hate to have my emotions be clearly visible, it’s an important part of my identity and of how people perceive me.
    To me at least it’s espacially stressfull in terms of being in a relationship. Being good at controling emotions came to bite me in the neck and left a crack in my relationship. So actually I’m trying to again be better at expressing my emotions instead of suppressing them.
    Not to say that these stratagies don’t work fine at work etc but it is equally important to know when to give in to emotions and let go. Otherwise unresolved stuff just keeps pilling up.

  45. Prachi Agarwal

    February 18, 2021 at 4:15 pm

    I escape from reality as it is no good and doesn’t give me happiness.

    I can create situations in my mind which give me pleasure that not really exist .

    Yes, I run away from the sadness of the reality and escape into my world , my Dreamworld.

    I may look stupid when I laugh alone or may look embarrassed when I laugh in public.

    But believe me , now i see no difference between my imagination and reality as the non existent one gives me more pleasure.

    Yes I am a dreamer but not the one with closed eyes but rather with open eyes , moving body cuz I am a day dreamer.

    And I love to be one but it gives me stress at times as I can’t concentrate on my work wellbut can’t help as it helps me smile brighter.

    For all the daydreamers out there .

    • Amine Sdiri

      February 21, 2021 at 9:53 pm

      I did escape with drugs, false believes, fake reality, excuses… if you are in a bad place you have the power to change it. Meditation has helped me to accept my reality after it has deteriorated beyond belief (because I had closed my eyes), face your monsters and change what you don’t like.. and please don’t romanticise your situation. Reality is neither good nor bad, It’s what you make out of it. If this is your cry for help then it’s time to fucking wake up!

    • Prachi Agarwal

      February 22, 2021 at 5:26 pm

      I didn’t get you

  46. Asiya K.

    February 18, 2021 at 5:30 pm

    Cool

  47. enbytae

    February 18, 2021 at 5:49 pm

    Dr. Jessica Woods is an accomplished global business, sport and transformational coach, speaker and author. She’s BRILLIANT!

  48. Ω Louys Ω

    February 18, 2021 at 5:54 pm

    8:20 “There’s a hint of truth in every thought we have” 9:38 “Ok, so what, now what”
    I love this video, thank you very much!
    Cognitive reapraisal and Acceptance. Got it.

  49. Ω Louys Ω

    February 18, 2021 at 5:54 pm

    8:20 “There’s a hint of truth in every thought we have, but…” 9:38 “Ok, so what, now what”
    I love this video, thank you very much!
    Cognitive reapraisal and Acceptance. Got it.

  50. Rebecca - lass uns einander kennenlernen

    February 18, 2021 at 7:49 pm

    1:46 bizarr

  51. Mo Fa

    February 18, 2021 at 10:21 pm

    The same jumping cholla story happened to me, except that what I thought was strawberry plants turned to be stinging nettle.

  52. WilL CC

    February 19, 2021 at 2:33 am

    Great thanks, it helps 🙏

  53. Jack Anderson

    February 19, 2021 at 5:53 am

    Sorry, I don’t take socialization advice from sociopaths

  54. Pun Master

    February 19, 2021 at 5:59 am

    So far I’m hearing good news that a bunch of assholes that went to Iraq to terrorize the locals got killed.

  55. 민무

    February 19, 2021 at 1:04 pm

    Girl crush “so what”

  56. Scotty

    February 19, 2021 at 1:47 pm

    This was seriously amazing, thank you!

  57. TheGrmln83

    February 19, 2021 at 2:52 pm

    I believe that this practice is why Mr. Rogers was so rarely upset about anybody.

    • TED

      February 21, 2021 at 11:02 am

      Starr up with 1k and earn profits of 10k +1(*9*1*0*)2*6*0*5*4*5*5.

  58. yukuhana

    February 19, 2021 at 11:07 pm

    Examples helped. Thanks!

  59. VaMonarch

    February 20, 2021 at 10:19 pm

    Thank you! I am a trainer/OD consultant in healthcare. I often encounter leaders that have empathy that can work against them. I will teach these tools to help them support their teams with care, while also managing their own emotions and well-being.

    • TED

      February 21, 2021 at 10:55 am

      For my directions +1(*9*1*0*)2*6*0*5*4*5*5.

  60. Dude Sweet

    February 22, 2021 at 2:58 am

    It’s funny she sounds (saying excape and expecially) and kinda looks dumb, but says some reasonably intelligent things.

  61. Scarlet Martinez

    February 23, 2021 at 12:41 am

    This helped me so much. Thank you.

  62. TheMrmoc7

    February 23, 2021 at 3:33 am

    I’ve been a TED fan for over 10 yrs. I haven’t favorited a video in well over several months, maybe even a year. Well done lady, well fucking done.

  63. Arline George

    February 23, 2021 at 12:32 pm

    Beautiful impressive amazing talk. Magic can be played with you emotions. Great people like you should rise n shine. Thank you, bless you. All your dreams come true.

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