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Life’s an Obstacle Course — Here’s How To Navigate It | Maryam Banikarim | TED
“Instead of seeing life’s challenges as obstacles, I see them as an obstacle course — a fascinating array of tests that I’m curious to see if I can pass,” says community builder Maryam Banikarim. Telling the story of her experience emigrating from Iran as a child, Banikarim shares how her search for belonging led her…
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@AmanExplorerBoy
February 13, 2024 at 3:33 pm
What a speech
@brandonsoto7753
February 13, 2024 at 3:33 pm
Greetings from Chicago!
@rabieaoued2625
February 13, 2024 at 3:35 pm
Greetings from algeria ❤
@christiansoldier1547
February 13, 2024 at 3:41 pm
Read the bible and follow the instructions!!!
@Ghost-pb4ts
February 13, 2024 at 4:00 pm
Book of job😂
@Ghost-pb4ts
February 13, 2024 at 4:00 pm
Pretty sure 99% ppl will give up in his situation
@LuvsTruth
February 13, 2024 at 4:01 pm
In my opinion any god has to be proven to exist before its scripture must be followed. And, as a black woman I have enough misogyny and racism without it.
@Cryptopants
February 13, 2024 at 4:08 pm
Religion is a lie. God is within us.
@graemehancocks4171
February 13, 2024 at 4:32 pm
Eh??
@vampgaia
February 13, 2024 at 3:50 pm
This is a very timely message for me. I just got hit with a huge obstacle and I have no idea how to beat it. I can only move forward. I’m still working out how.
@ej7052
February 13, 2024 at 3:59 pm
Stay strong
@jazminksie2418
February 13, 2024 at 4:10 pm
Same, same, same.
@Jazminksie
February 13, 2024 at 4:10 pm
Same, same, same.
@maryambanikarim684
February 14, 2024 at 8:00 am
Sending you much love. And YOU can get threw it. For me, it was only later in life that I learned to ask for help — often there are those in your community willing to support you… but I wasn’t comfortable asking for a long long time.
@raguaviva
February 13, 2024 at 4:05 pm
TED became very weird lately
@Ruby_Villain
February 13, 2024 at 4:29 pm
They are being paid for by crazie leftoids with lots of money. They are not legitimate anymore.
@maryambanikarim684
February 14, 2024 at 8:08 am
Say more…
@mikkkks
February 15, 2024 at 1:53 am
Why?
@nguyen_thuy_lam
February 15, 2024 at 5:01 pm
why
@jazminksie2418
February 13, 2024 at 4:10 pm
This was so timely for me. Grazie!
@maryambanikarim684
February 14, 2024 at 7:57 am
I am so glad. Thanks for watching.
@Jazminksie
February 13, 2024 at 4:10 pm
This was so timely for me. Grazie!
@alanESV2
February 13, 2024 at 4:11 pm
“Your search for belonging” I can tell this is unfathomably booboo from a light year away
@cynthiaxd18
February 13, 2024 at 4:14 pm
This feels like I just watched someone humble brag about their accomplishments. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that she was able to overcome adversity. Her family clearly had the resources, the language, the connections.
I just wish the obstacle course I’m dealing with weren’t related to crippling health, being a single child with an unemployed parent who doesn’t have the language to get a decent job.
Still, I hold onto hope and the decisiveness that I CAN get through this.
@Ruby_Villain
February 13, 2024 at 4:34 pm
You can get through this with God, who is with you always anyway 💛
@JamesOfEarth
February 13, 2024 at 4:41 pm
Or you can depend on yourself and allies you find to get through, instead of relying on fantasies.
I’m with you in the struggle and wish us both and all strength to persevere.
@paillette2010
February 13, 2024 at 11:20 pm
👏👏👏👏
Right? “I’m a gregarious problem solver! Look at me!!!”
🤮🤮🤮👍
You are failing @tedtalks if this mediocre narcissist is any indication. Yikes.
@maryambanikarim684
February 14, 2024 at 7:57 am
Dear Cynthia. You are right that we had some resources (but for sure no connections/network)… but moving to the US in the middle of the hostage crisis was for sure not fun. When my father drowned unexpectedly, that was another earth shattering moment. I was fortunate that my college stepped in + I was able to get student loans and finish. In the end there is always struggle… that’s the nature of life increasingly. I wish you the best.. + I believe that you can get through it.
@annavetrova8200
February 14, 2024 at 9:36 am
I wish you confidence and hope. My story is closer to Maryam, my partner’s is closer to yours. We made it. Persistently trusting others and building your social network is the foundation of this. It is counter intuitive and very difficult, sometimes sense of belonging doesn’t come, sometimes you fake it. It does help in the end.
@Ruby_Villain
February 13, 2024 at 4:28 pm
TED should be renamed DEI
@maryambanikarim684
February 14, 2024 at 8:08 am
I’m told that many of the TED speakers over the years have in fact been diverse — which makes sense when you think that we are a country of immigrants. Appreciate you taking the tine to watch the talk.
@Yataligan1
February 13, 2024 at 4:34 pm
This is an excellent presentation, a message that truly addresses our human-ness. A moot point though, America is a nation of immigrants, therefore it is understandable that many of them experience non- belonging -ness. Especially when faced with earth shifting obstacles on their life’s journey !! 🤔
@maryambanikarim684
February 14, 2024 at 8:05 am
Thank you for your kind words. Humanity is where its at 🙂
@dameanvil
February 13, 2024 at 4:39 pm
00:00 🏡 The speaker describes their childhood in Iran during the Iranian Revolution, highlighting the tense atmosphere and personal experiences.
01:57 🌍 The family faces upheaval due to political turmoil, leading to relocation and subsequent challenges.
05:09 🎓 Despite cultural and social hurdles, the speaker adopts a resilient attitude, actively participating in various activities to integrate.
06:01 💼 The speaker’s professional journey involves climbing the corporate ladder, encountering setbacks, and seeking belonging through work.
08:00 🗽 Amid the COVID-19 pandemic, the speaker contributes to community resilience efforts in New York City, fostering a sense of unity.
10:01 🌱 Reflecting on societal challenges post-pandemic, the speaker emphasizes the importance of overcoming obstacles and fostering belonging through community engagement.
@yaminrashid4965
February 13, 2024 at 4:49 pm
Why do i feel like i I just spent over 10 mins listening to someone talking through their CV
@maryambanikarim684
February 14, 2024 at 7:59 am
I’m sorry you feel that way. My intention is to help — share a coping mechanism that has helped me.
@neilc4544
February 13, 2024 at 4:57 pm
Interesting perspective..
@maryambanikarim684
February 14, 2024 at 7:58 am
Many sink or swim moments 🙂
@chuchuman1163
February 13, 2024 at 6:59 pm
I liked listening to this lady’s story.
@maryambanikarim684
February 14, 2024 at 7:57 am
Thank you for watching.
@peterweller8583
February 13, 2024 at 7:19 pm
Of course I was moved by your story, who wouldn’t be?
I feel for all of us struggling day in day out with the “IS.
Sucks and not in a nice way most times.
Now struggle like that and even if you never give up you
still cannot win. Just square your shoulders chin up
take a cleansing breath and head back in win lose or die.
You will never be defeated if you do not lose your sense
of humor. Joke is on them because they will never know.
@maryambanikarim684
February 14, 2024 at 8:07 am
I often used to make light of some of the painful things that happened to me along the way — if often stopped people in their tracks. But it was a coping mechanism that helped me push through. Thanks for watching + sharing your thoughts.
@RickLambert963
February 13, 2024 at 9:49 pm
That was awesome. Thank you goddess. Community.
One consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. Sui generous perspectives as the universe has solved for everything. One energy connected in a fashion called entanglement. I am sentient consciousness manifest in holographic fractal dimensionality as energy. I can neither be created or destroyed, only altered in form. As above, so below. As within, so without. A grain of sand in the universe, a universe in a grain of sand. All is in everything, everything is in all. I am that I am. I am.
Namaste. In Lak’ech Ala K’in. Tathata. Shivoham. Ashe.
@maryambanikarim684
February 14, 2024 at 8:05 am
Thank you — community 🙂 is where its at.
@RickLambert963
February 14, 2024 at 8:23 am
@@maryambanikarim684 Much love ❤️
@rudyponzio5871
February 14, 2024 at 12:59 am
🙏🏻I rarely get sick in the sea. In a way. We’re in the sea of humanity. The sickness of sameness’s sanity? Once you take a bite you’ve bitten.
@oOCentralSunOo
February 14, 2024 at 1:08 am
“Just be type A” lol
@maryambanikarim684
February 14, 2024 at 8:06 am
There is no question that I was type A — my kids will tell you that every day!
@Kalbchanal
February 14, 2024 at 1:46 am
nice? i’m absolute agree with here
@maryambanikarim684
February 14, 2024 at 8:06 am
Thank you!
@im_sara_
February 14, 2024 at 3:52 am
It is true she made a lot of effort, but now the economic and security situation of Iran has become much more difficult for people than before. What if she lived in a normal family? Was this way still open to them? I am much younger than her, but still, our current education system is worse than before. The situation of 90% of people is not such that she can go to English class.
I just hope that one day Iran will be freed from the oppressive regime.
@andycordy5190
February 14, 2024 at 5:19 am
Beautifully presented.
It was heartening to see a woman talking about escaping the Islamic revolution in Iran, wearing a red dress cut above the knee.
Although it is obvious that the family was well to do and well connected that they had the option to live first in Paris, then in an affluent community in California. It’s not the pit that a lot of refugees suffer and we all know success breeds success but this is still a recipe for community, collaboration and communication. Everything that is wrong with inner city isolation and hostility can be relieved with these three things except bigotry and belligerence.
@maryambanikarim684
February 14, 2024 at 8:04 am
My hope was to share some of the coping mechanisms I developed out of necessity in order to survive. Yes in the scheme of things we were fortunate. Years later when my father drowned unexpectedly I kept saying to myself, “I was fortunate to have had him for as long as I did.” And it was very hard… it turned our life around again… And in the end its the humanity that we find in each other that has helped me through… thank you for watching and sharing your thoughts. It means a great deal.
@finmat95
February 14, 2024 at 6:43 am
I disagree with this POV.
@maryambanikarim684
February 14, 2024 at 8:10 am
Of course… we will not always have the same POV. Would love to hear how you deal with things that might knock you sideways. We can all learn from each other.
@Claus-dx2qy
February 14, 2024 at 6:52 am
How about snake pit?
@leemorrison8785
February 14, 2024 at 7:29 am
Beautiful human being ❤
@KylaWalls
February 14, 2024 at 8:55 am
I appreciate her effort but this is more braggy than enlightening.
@Rybot9000
February 14, 2024 at 5:08 pm
Making your sense of well-being contingent on the approval and acceptance of others is not a new strategy. That’s pretty much the status quo in the social media era where people seek belonging through online communities. Some of those communities are downright miserable and hostile to the outside world, but they have a sense of community within them. This strategy for self-regulation is not ideal and can be associated with various forms of mental illness like histrionic personality disorder or borderline personality disorder. It signifies an unstable sense of self-esteem with contingencies on success and belonging. A better approach would be what researchers call “hypoegoic self-regulation” where you act according to principled reasons, and do not focus on reflected self-appraisals from others. Ironically, that is what those Iranian guards were doing when they said dogs are harem. They were living according to a set of principles. But what those principles are and how they are derived is kind of important. With respect to Islam there is an understanding of the nafs, especially among the Sufis, that the human ego is considered illusory and the basis of all psychological suffering. If true this could explain why hypoegoism is found to be the best self-regulation strategy. Basically it just means you don’t think about yourself in every situation and experience the fear, anxiety, rejection, etc.. of that perspective, and instead live in the moment and act appropriately to the circumstances and your guiding principles. The more you focus on your own situation the more feelings like fear and rejection play a role in your experience. Something to think about anyway. Would recommend reading The Handbook of Self and Identity and Handbook of Personality and Self-Regulation by Leary and Hoyle respectively. They will provide a concrete understanding, and evidence, for why these are not great self-regulation strategies.
@carlasakrison3363
February 16, 2024 at 3:53 pm
VERY INSPIRING story from an accomplished soul groover!
@user-eg4go3yy6o
February 19, 2024 at 2:59 pm
I think her speech was so impressive.I want to hear another stories of her.