Do you avoid talking to people you disagree with? Author and mediator Emily Kasriel thinks you should try it out. She explains why engaging with ideas that bother you is one of the most powerful things you can do — and presents her framework for “deep listening” that can help you form relationships across generations, cultures and political divides.(Recorded at TED2026 on April 15, 2026)
Join us in person at a TED conference:
Become a TED Member to support our mission:
Subscribe to a TED newsletter:
Follow TED!
Instagram:
LinkedIn:
TikTok:
Facebook:
X:
The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less) — plus originals, podcasts and exclusive content. Look for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design as well as science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit for our entire library, transcripts, translations and personalized recommendations.
Watch more:
TED videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with the TED Talks Usage Policy: . For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), submit a request at
#TED #TEDTalks #Communication
@happygirl-e8u-e8u
October 26, 2026 at 11:05 am
First to comment 🎉
@fengesy
October 26, 2026 at 11:11 am
Second to comment!
@harrypearle9781
October 26, 2026 at 11:20 am
K(NO)W contains the word, NO. And NO flips to ON
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
When we disagree, we might WAKE up to something new TNX MCH
@drumbum3.142
October 26, 2026 at 11:26 am
– Depends upon the Topic and the Subject; it’s Circumstantial and Situational.
@PB_Stare
October 26, 2026 at 11:38 am
This has always been weird to me – I’m never bothered when someone disagrees with me on matters, only when they get angry, argumentative, confrontational & violent! Even if I say nothing, they will still throw it all at me & make assumptions about what’s going on in my head aka projecting. Once someone told me they knew what I was thinking bc they could read my body language & everyone around who heard it, including me, started laughing & being like ‘ohh noooo’ 😂 imo it’s good to get new information, even if you don’t agree with it. Question everything, but listen to the answers if you want to learn!
@HDennis
October 26, 2026 at 4:42 pm
I think what the video is about is to not respond in a way but try to understand why they are making these assumpions about you.
@ltybc425
October 26, 2026 at 11:42 am
I listened to you. And seems like the West is cooked
@shariarrahman7562
October 26, 2026 at 11:58 am
So many bots in the comments
@Steph65-i7f
October 26, 2026 at 12:03 pm
This was an excellent talk on perhaps the most misunderstood and sometimes, the most overlooked skill- lending our ears!
@RuneVeil
October 26, 2026 at 12:18 pm
I found this hard to listen to 😂
@Xelastic
October 26, 2026 at 12:31 pm
Modern institutions and public speakers are increasingly prioritizing personal feelings over objective facts. This approach often treats every opinion as equally valid, regardless of whether it matches real-world evidence. In doing so, it confuses our limited human perceptions with actual, physical reality. While everyone experiences the world differently, an objective truth still exists completely independent of our minds. By focusing heavily on emotional validation, leaders hope to avoid social conflict and keep the peace. However, this strategy demotes proven facts into mere options that can be negotiated away. Prioritizing what feels true over what is actually true distorts our shared understanding of the world. Ultimately, real progress requires us to discover reality as it is, rather than bending facts to fit our comfort.
@BonnieShadow33
October 26, 2026 at 2:20 pm
It is also true that we can’t persuade people by arguing with them. Remember, listening ≠ agreement, *and* by deep listening to people, they’ll be more willing to do the same for us. Only when people feel seen and understood – even if the other person still disagrees with their point – are they willing to truly consider what the other person has to say. So if you want to change people’s minds, start with deep listening.
@Xelastic
October 26, 2026 at 3:01 pm
@BonnieShadow33well said. This is diplomacy at its core. I’m on the other hand highlighting speakers attempt to dilute objective truth seeking
@BonnieShadow33
October 26, 2026 at 6:17 pm
@Xelastic Is what I said any different from what the speaker said?
@hb-d92h
October 26, 2026 at 12:32 pm
at first i thought what would be the benefit of listening so carefully when our opinions on certain topics would not change anyways — but after listening to the talk i can say it surely has some great benefits
@hb-d92h
October 26, 2026 at 12:33 pm
thanks for the message
@ExistentialWolf-d1w
October 26, 2026 at 12:42 pm
Don’t you just hate hypocrites who tell you to listen, when they just want to cry from the effort of thinking. Yelling at you to not raise your voice. Cutting you off when they lose focus, and tell you to stop cutting them off. They tell you to let them make their point as they circle to find it. Tell you to wait until they are finished, as their opinion falls to shambles. In the end they weren’t worth the confrontation as they walk away hurt – just the way they hoped to make their confusion your fault. Respect is simple, try planning better, it’s not our fault. 🙋💥
@nadiawheeler4772
October 26, 2026 at 1:19 pm
No. Not contaminated. Nauseating
@CalicoCooperFan
October 26, 2026 at 1:36 pm
Reporters are supposed to learn facts and report them in an objective way. When people are presented with facts from sources they can trust, they will form their own opinions from them. A reporter shouldnt be trying to seek a source’s agreement or to have some other agenda. Asking questions out of curiousity and listening to record and understand is how they get information to incorporate into their articles or news segments. Our modern media does a terrible job of objective fact reporting.
I think most people don’t want to understand others. Diversity of thought isnt valued enough. The left and right built their own social media platforms to have echo chambers so they arent exposed to diverse ideas. (BlueSky and Truth Social)
@Revenant-IX-k2k9i
October 26, 2026 at 1:47 pm
Teaching us,humans empathy and understanding in an age of hatred and bigotry restores my faith in ourselves.Thank you,Emily Kasriel.
@homewall724
October 26, 2026 at 2:11 pm
Hatred and bigotry are taught.
@BonnieShadow33
October 26, 2026 at 2:16 pm
@homewall724 They are, and once learned they’re very difficult for people to overcome. But by deeply listening to them, we might be able to influence them over time.
@RRR66620
October 26, 2026 at 2:04 pm
That’s basically how organized religion survives.
@homewall724
October 26, 2026 at 2:09 pm
Funny perspective since she’s talking, we’re listening, and she hopes she changes our minds.
Marketing/advertising doesn’t work because we’re paying attention.
Education doesn’t work because we’re paying attention.
Propaganda doesn’t work because we’re paying attention.
The algorithms don’t work because we’re paying attention.
Tribalism doesn’t exist because we’re paying attention.
Religion doesn’t exist because we’re paying attention.
@jetiromedia
October 26, 2026 at 2:15 pm
‘Third Ear’ means tuning to what’s important but not spoken.
Hmm.
@thecuratedmess
October 26, 2026 at 8:42 pm
Completely agree to listen to opinions different from your own. Yes, it’s difficult to do but so important. Be open minded. That’s how you check yourself.
@buttersstotch9172
October 26, 2026 at 8:57 pm
She has a bubble necklace lol