People & Blogs

What Happens to Sex in Midlife? A Look at the “Bedroom Gap” | Maria Sophocles | TED

Menopause isn’t just hot flashes, says gynecologist and sexual medicine specialist Maria Sophocles. It’s often accompanied by overlooked symptoms like painful sex or loss of libido. Shedding light on what she calls the “bedroom gap,” or the difference in sexual expectations of men and women in midlife due to societal norms, Sophocles advocates for education,…

Published

on

Menopause isn’t just hot flashes, says gynecologist and sexual medicine specialist Maria Sophocles. It’s often accompanied by overlooked symptoms like painful sex or loss of libido. Shedding light on what she calls the “bedroom gap,” or the difference in sexual expectations of men and women in midlife due to societal norms, Sophocles advocates for education, medical advancement and a new understanding of menopause — because sex should be pleasurable and comfortable for everyone.

If you love watching TED Talks like this one, become a TED Member to support our mission of spreading ideas:

Follow TED!
X:
Instagram:
Facebook:
LinkedIn:
TikTok:

The TED Talks channel features talks, performances and original series from the world’s leading thinkers and doers. Subscribe to our channel for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design — plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more.

Watch more:

TED’s videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy: . For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at

#TED #TEDTalks #sex #menopause

47 Comments

  1. @evad7933

    April 4, 2024 at 8:51 am

    “Examine its root causes”😂😂😂

  2. @iammauriceclemmons

    April 4, 2024 at 9:30 am

    Females are to be seen not heard 💯

  3. @grapeshott

    April 4, 2024 at 10:24 am

    No idea. No experience

  4. @adstix

    April 4, 2024 at 10:46 am

    “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens … a time to be born and a time to die …”
    It is simply unnatural for sexual vitality to go on and on forever!
    A time comes for every human when the instinct begins to wane and there’s no need for alarm when that phase arrives!
    Let us begin to align with nature than seek to combat it!

  5. @AlternativeHomesteading

    April 4, 2024 at 10:54 am

    Another contributing factor that is rarely discussed is it a majority of the population are smokers, drink alcohol, take pharmaceutical drugs and are experiencing the negative side effects of long-term psychiatric medication. The loss of libido in both men and women including the loss of erection and the loss of lubrication is a direct correlation to taking antidepressants and antipsychotics. My menopause was uneventful. However my general practitioner thought it was wise to prescribe three, not one or two, three psychiatric medication‘s because he said when his wife was going through menopause it helped her. I can’t do not! Anybody that takes psychiatric medication for a normal developmental stage of life is not thinking in their right minds. And you can blame the medical and pharmaceutical communities for contributing to the ill health of all people in the US. People in other countries do not experience these melodies.

  6. @lauravergot9995

    April 4, 2024 at 11:15 am

    Has she ever heard about lube?
    As my gynecologist put it when discussing this topic ”why use a bazooka to kill a fly? Try to catch it with a sticky fly trap first”.
    Why must medication be the first proposed solution?
    Even topical estrogen can cause side effects.
    On another note: pregnant and lactating women have very low estrogen too with all that comes with it. And cannot take any meds. So again: lube!
    And what is this piffle about doctors not being trained to talk about menopause? Are you serious? So once they leave university they stop learning? Really?! 😂
    TED talk: do you even review what the speakers will say? Your standards are falling by the day.

    • @vjoye6136

      April 4, 2024 at 4:16 pm

      Sometimes lube doesn’t help enough when there is pain caused by vaginal skin that is not elastic anymore

  7. @SecretSilence26

    April 4, 2024 at 11:39 am

    20% downvote, crazy 😢

    • @MaybeYoureRight-1234

      April 4, 2024 at 4:23 pm

      Yes I’m😅

  8. @BrianMcInnis87

    April 4, 2024 at 1:28 pm

    *Gender* gap. The bedroom *gender* gap.

  9. @wuschmeister9498

    April 4, 2024 at 2:35 pm

    Despite of raising awareness for woman pleasure needs, i can’t belive how she managed to web in sexist topics towards men and women..
    Trying to trigger and cash in on suggesting women are unequal to men has a feminist touch,
    but think about who would have the most benefit of a better sexdrive in women.
    Its win win!

    a long time i have thought better of this platform.

  10. @sharayutravels

    April 4, 2024 at 2:39 pm

    Its wonderful talk. Talk about it! Evry medical professionals advice!

  11. @libidese

    April 4, 2024 at 3:22 pm

    🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️🔥🔥🔥🔥

  12. @Welcome-421

    April 4, 2024 at 3:33 pm

    “Women don’t go to war to kill other women. Wars and armies and nuclear weapons are essentially heterosexual hobbies.” – Steven Morrissey

  13. @Welcome-421

    April 4, 2024 at 3:35 pm

    Love from Canada 🇨🇦

    “We do know that thousands of indigenous women, girls and 2SLGBTQQIA (two-spirit, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, queer, questioning, intersex and asexual) have been lost to the Canadian genocide to date,” said the report, titled “Reclaiming Power and Place”.

    OPINION: Why is the pope not apologising to Canada’s indigenous people?
    by Andrew Mitrovica

    • @Welcome-421

      April 4, 2024 at 3:36 pm

      “The fact that First Nations, Inuit and Metis peoples are still here and that the population is growing should not discount the charge of genocide.”

      The report added that due to “the gravity of the issue,” the inquiry was preparing a “supplementary report on the Canadian genocide of indigenous peoples according to the legal definition of genocide, which will be posted at a later date.

      CBC said it contains more than 230 recommendations.

    • @Welcome-421

      April 4, 2024 at 3:36 pm

      The inquiry was the culmination of years of lobbying by native leaders, activists and victims’ families seeking to know why possibly thousands of indigenous women were murdered or have gone missing over the past three decades.

      Indigenous women represent four percent of Canada’s population but accounted for up to 16 to 24 percent of homicide victims during the period, said the report’s authors.

      Canada’s Lost Women
      The commissioners held 24 hearings across Canada over the past 2.5 years and heard from more than 2,000 witnesses, including family members of missing or murdered women, survivors of violence, experts and officials.

    • @MaybeYoureRight-1234

      April 4, 2024 at 4:28 pm

      The report concluded that indigenous women faced a disproportionately high level of violence through ‘state actions’.

      According to official estimates, almost 1,200 women and girls went missing or were killed between 1980 and 2012.
      •[Kevin Frayer/AP file]😅

    • @jeffmilligan

      April 5, 2024 at 10:18 am

      Though there are far more missing and murdered aboriginal boys and men. Explain that.

  14. @AyuCell-Intan

    April 4, 2024 at 4:06 pm

    We have a RESPONSIBILITY to join together on behalf of the world that we seek
    — a world where extremists no longer threaten our people.

    When long as we are denied our security by criminals, who prey on our communities, and who do violence against our women and children.

  15. @eklim2034

    April 4, 2024 at 4:07 pm

    “Til gap we part”

  16. @AyuCell-Intan

    April 4, 2024 at 4:11 pm

    ❤TED

    When a team member fails to pull their own weight on group projects, it isn’t just frustrating; it can affect your entire group’s performance.

    • @user-ik9zv2ih4s

      April 5, 2024 at 8:58 pm

      And maybe not a team

  17. @AyuCell-Intan

    April 4, 2024 at 4:13 pm

    ❤TED, do you know?

    United Nations has a dual RESPONSIBILITY:

    That experience guides my conviction that partnership between UN and Islam must be based on what Islam is, not what it isn’t…

  18. @MaybeYoureRight-1234

    April 4, 2024 at 4:21 pm

    TED😅

    We mortals, men and women, devour many a disappointment between breakfast and dinner-time; keep back the tears and look a little pale about the lips, and in answer to inquiries say, “Oh, nothing!” Pride helps; and pride is not a bad thing when it only urges us to hide our hurts— not to hurt others.

    Thank you😅

  19. @Ahero0fAfrica-6789

    April 4, 2024 at 4:45 pm

    “By targeting LGBTI communities and infusing their sexuality with religious suggestions of grotesque madness and immorality, African leaders seek to deflect attention from their political failings and crimes.”
    —Tafi Mhaka

  20. @Ahero0fAfrica-6789

    April 4, 2024 at 4:47 pm

    I was once a homophobe who bought into the lies of African leaders who blamed the West for homosexuality. —Tafi Mhaka

    • @Ahero0fAfrica-6789

      April 4, 2024 at 4:47 pm

      “This long-standing myth of American racism, tied to its obsession with Black sexuality, is harming women to this day.”
      —Edna Bonhomme❤

    • @Ahero0fAfrica-6789

      April 4, 2024 at 4:48 pm

      “Despite all this, today young people’s right to quality sexuality education and information is under attack.”
      —Alexander de Croo, Lindiwe Zulu & Memory Zonde-Kachambwa

    • @Ahero0fAfrica-6789

      April 4, 2024 at 4:49 pm

      India needs new laws to tackle the so-called ‘honour crimes’ which attempt to control women’s sexuality and choices, writes *Kavita Krishnan*

  21. @China-129

    April 4, 2024 at 4:55 pm

    Shame makes us feel we are not capable of change. Shame damages our soul. Guilt is a healthy, self-correcting emotion about an unskilled action we have made. Shame is felt in very cell in our body and is a feeling that we are flawed at some core level. Shame often leads to depression, addiction and aggressive behavior towards ourselves and others. Shame is a belief that we no longer belong. Shame is never necessary because no matter what we’ve done, every single one of us is capable of change. If you feel that you have harmed someone with your unskilled behaviors, look inside yourself and reflect on how you must change. And then move forward immediately with more empathy for others and an intention of making amends with much more positive behaviors in the future. Examine whether you have a pattern of making negative decisions after using alcohol or drugs. If you have on more than one occasion felt ashamed of your actions while inebriated, look up a local AA or NA meeting schedule and go sit in a room for 60 minutes. See if you hear any wisdom that might provide. Guideline for you in the future. If the messages that you heard at the meeting really resonated with you, go back a second time. But do something positive about your guilt and do not let your thoughts tell you that you are permanently flawed or helpless.

    • @China-129

      April 4, 2024 at 4:56 pm

      Guilt helps us adapt and make better choices moving forward. Shame keep us stuck in a mistaken belief that we are permanently damaged. No one is permanently damaged because we are all capable of changing as soon as we change our thoughts. Guilt focuses on a behavior that we can perform more skillfully in the future. Guilt teaches us. We make mistakes. We never are a mistake. *-Joe Gorman*

  22. @China-129

    April 4, 2024 at 4:58 pm

    Grief can be the garden of compassion.
    If you keep your heart open through everything,
    your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom.
    —Rumi✍🏻🌿

    • @China-129

      April 4, 2024 at 4:59 pm

      If you are looking for a friend who is faultless, you will be friendless.
      —Rumi✍🏻🌿

    • @China-129

      April 4, 2024 at 4:59 pm

      To that person who has suffered a lot in relationships, may the Lord send you a partner who will love you forever❤️

  23. @99UrBud

    April 4, 2024 at 9:13 pm

    Thank you 💗

  24. @jackwang7101

    April 4, 2024 at 10:50 pm

    nice

  25. @melissamartyn7541

    April 5, 2024 at 6:01 am

    vagina oestrogen did cause a rise in BP in me!

    • @nicolebalm6116

      April 6, 2024 at 11:42 am

      What is BP? Thank you!

  26. @Wraithss

    April 5, 2024 at 7:45 am

    yeah, after you had that multi colored haired gender whatever thing on, ted talks are done.

  27. @janelleetsitty36

    April 5, 2024 at 6:31 pm

    Estrace Cream will cure the ring of fire

  28. @user-ik9zv2ih4s

    April 5, 2024 at 9:00 pm

  29. @manfredschmalbach9023

    April 6, 2024 at 7:56 am

    “When You come to that age, my Dear, Your pretty pink-ish, magnetic rose will deteriorate to some sorry, indifferent slate gray no man will even look for, let alone desire.” After loosing the love of my life to menopause, I never heard that cruel, inhumane joke mother nature hits her daughters with summed up better, or more precise for that matter.
    At least trying to change that is maybe one of the really important fields in gynocentric medical research – even with quite some of ’em probably just passionlessly concluding “what a blessing that this inconvenient drive is finally over !”

    • @MrSpikethefirst

      April 6, 2024 at 11:49 am

      How did you lose the love of your life to menopause?

    • @manfredschmalbach9023

      April 6, 2024 at 1:29 pm

      @@MrSpikethefirst She lost her spirit, her health, her love she used to ooze out to the world, her looks, her countenance, her seggs-drive, her sanity, and turned into an unbearable, miserable, nagging menace of some sort. She lost her job (employer couldn’t carry on threatening their customership with her “new personality” without having considerable losses), she lost her formerly successful Yoga studio she had for over 20 years as a sidehustle when none of the regulars wanted to renew their contracts anymore due to her “new personality”. None of the random newbies wanted to come back again after their first lesson or course, either. I tried a lot to help her finding her sanity and health again, but she never even saw an endocrinologist or a gynaecologist once and tried to blame it all on me and her children and her mother and her two brothers and whatnot – had to end it when she upgraded her attitude from petty insults to downright dangerous violence. Got a restraining order, threw her out, put her stuff in storage and changed the locks when she was out of town for a weekend. “Traumatizing” was an understatement.

  30. @debandrews7415

    April 6, 2024 at 5:42 pm

    wonderful

  31. @user-zn8lo9om7y

    April 8, 2024 at 8:01 pm

    Sh!t I’m 11 years old

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Trending

Exit mobile version