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True Love — and the Myth of “Happily Ever After” | Francesca Hogi | TED

“The fairytale industrial complex has been lying to you,” says love coach and podcast host Francesca Hogi. Having spent years talking to thousands of people about their romantic hopes and dreams, she introduces a new possibility for our collective romantic future, one that recognizes that each of us holds the keys to true love within…

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“The fairytale industrial complex has been lying to you,” says love coach and podcast host Francesca Hogi. Having spent years talking to thousands of people about their romantic hopes and dreams, she introduces a new possibility for our collective romantic future, one that recognizes that each of us holds the keys to true love within ourselves.

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42 Comments

  1. @ShahrezadNorMohammadiy9116

    February 14, 2024 at 10:25 am

    ❤Be the person who breaks the cycle. If you were judged, choose understanding. If you were rejected, choose acceptance. If you were shamed, choose compassion. Be the person you needed when you were hurting, not the person who hurt you. Vow to be better than what broke you—to heal instead of becoming bitter so you can act from your heart, not your pain.

  2. @AyuCell-Intan

    February 14, 2024 at 10:27 am

    Happy Valentine’s Day🌷

    If you have true gratitude, it will express itself automatically.
    It will be visible in your eyes, around your being, in your aura.
    It is like the fragrance of a flower.
    In most cases if there is a beautiful flower, the fragrance will be there naturally.
    The flower and its fragrance cannot be separated…

  3. @AyuCell-Intan

    February 14, 2024 at 10:28 am

    💘Valentine’s Day 🥀

    A love letter from those who have passed on…

    Take the love you have for me
    And radiate it outwards
    Allowing it to touch and impact others

    Take the memory you have of me
    And use it as a source of inspiration
    To live fully, meaningfully and intentionally

    Take the image you have of me in your mind
    And allow it to fuel you
    To take action
    Seize the day
    And be reminded of what is most important in life

    Take the care you have for me
    And let it remind you
    To care for yourself fully
    And shower yourself with your own love

    And take the pain and grief you feel
    Following my loss
    And alchemize it into
    Love, compassion and beauty

    Build a castle
    From the wreckage of my passing

    And allow it to unlock your greatness and potential
    And empower you to become more than you ever thought you were capable of being

    And know that I can never truly leave you
    And will always remain beside you
    Watching over you in spirit
    And that the love I have for you lives on
    Through the connections you form
    The kindness and compassion you share
    And the future relationships and friendships you cultivate.

    And until we are one day reunited
    I will remain with you
    Through the storms and chaos of life
    And am always beside you
    Walking with you, laughing with you, crying with you and smiling with you

    And I am proud of you for being strong
    I am proud of you for being brave
    And I am proud of you for being you.

  4. @AyuCell-Intan

    February 14, 2024 at 10:29 am

    Happy Valentine’s Day🌹

    “There are times in your life
    where it is necessary to envision
    a brighter and more beautiful future for yourself
    and to believe that it is possible.

    To know that no matter how dark
    your present surroundings may be,
    lighter times lie ahead,
    and to know this to be true in your heart.

    And to let that inspire you
    to wake up each day
    and walk by faith, not by sight,
    speaking these words to yourself:

    “I am willing to endure the difficulties of today
    to the best of my ability;
    to heal what I may heal,
    love what I may love,
    and release what I may release,
    because I know that more beautiful times await me,
    and so this inspires me to live fully now
    for the future version of myself
    who will be grateful to me
    for not giving up on myself and my dreams,
    while making the most of my current circumstances
    and finding as much beauty as I possibly can
    in the present.”

  5. @artchemist4460

    February 14, 2024 at 10:29 am

    Is it just me or does this talk basically say “you dont have to be perfect to be loved.”

    • @user-sy1he9nk6q

      February 14, 2024 at 11:53 am

      Yeah, I got that impression too. I didn’t see she adding many new ideias in way. Basically “love is all around” or something. I didn’t quite get the big difference about romantic love and what she is describing.

  6. @excalipoor

    February 14, 2024 at 10:35 am

    She looks familiar. Then I remember she was on Survivor twice.

    • @viliamvacula8111

      February 14, 2024 at 10:47 am

      Did she survive?

  7. @SibylleLeon

    February 14, 2024 at 10:48 am

    This, all day long! ❤

  8. @China-129

    February 14, 2024 at 11:07 am

    “You can kill a man but you can’t kill an idea.” *— Sophocles🗿*

  9. @China-129

    February 14, 2024 at 11:07 am

    “I can respect any person who can put their ego aside and say; i made a mistake, I apologize and i am correcting the behavior.”

  10. @Catherine0fRussia-1234

    February 14, 2024 at 11:30 am

    Happy Valentine’s Day💖

    Sometimes you look up and there just seems to be so many more stars than ever before.
    They burn brighter and they shine longer and they never vanish into your periphery when you turn your head.
    It’s as if they come out for us and to remind us that their light took so long to come to us, that if we never had the patience to wait, we never would have seen them here, tonight, like this.
    That as much as it hurts, sometimes it’s all you can do, wait, endure and keep shining, knowing that eventually, your light will reach where it is supposed to reach and shine for who it is supposed to shine for…

  11. @Catherine0fRussia-1234

    February 14, 2024 at 11:30 am

    Happy Valentine’s Day💖

    “Love is not about ownership, but appreciation.

    The secret of love may be found in this rose.
    To love the rose
    is not to possess it or to pluck it
    but to savour its beauty
    and witness its magnificence
    and in the process,
    to be made more beautiful.

    This is how you may love even when the one you love is not near you, even when the one you love is no longer with you and even when the one you love knows not of you. Because love is not found outside of you, but is found within you, for it is a way of seeing and engaging with the world.

    To love
    is to be inspired
    and to be transformed for the better.

    And so there is no pain in loving, because to love is not to lose anything, but to gain everything.”

  12. @dameanvil

    February 14, 2024 at 11:33 am

    0:23 💔 Romantic love has been commodified into a fairytale fantasy perpetuated by media and marketing.
    1:49 💡 Consider prioritizing self-love and authenticity in romantic relationships over societal fairytales.
    2:02 🗝 True love is attainable by embracing foundational values such as respect, intimacy, and commitment.
    2:44 💖 Each individual possesses the capacity for love and has the potential to experience true love without external validation.
    3:09 🌟 Embracing love authentically contributes to a brighter and more inclusive romantic future for everyone.

  13. @djayjp

    February 14, 2024 at 11:35 am

    No. There’s much learning and wisdom needed to be in a healthy relationship.

  14. @djayjp

    February 14, 2024 at 11:37 am

    Too short, lacking in meaning, and with appeal to too-many warm & fuzzy-sounding words.

  15. @kaylorado

    February 14, 2024 at 11:42 am

    Love comes from within

  16. @user-sy1he9nk6q

    February 14, 2024 at 11:50 am

    I didn’t understand the difference between the love she describes and the love that is “sold” as ideal. Everything she described is exactly what is sold. What exactly is she proposing?

  17. @sammoore5228

    February 14, 2024 at 12:13 pm

    “ChatGPT, write me a three-minute motivational TED Talk on the myth of ‘happily ever after.’”

    • @chinchillin6280

      February 16, 2024 at 10:29 pm

      😂😂

  18. @Kismet-1001Nights

    February 14, 2024 at 1:29 pm

    فلسطين 🇵🇸

    الجوع في الضفة الغربية.

    المزارعون لا يتمكنون من بيع منتجاتهم، والمشترون غير قادرين على الوصول إلى الأسواق بسبب القيود المتزايدة على الحركة.

    أسعار المواد الغذائية ارتفعت بشكل كبير، فيما ترتفع أيضا معدلات البطالة والفقر.
    😊
    🙏🏻

  19. @Kismet-1001Nights

    February 14, 2024 at 1:30 pm

    السودان 🇸🇩

    جوع حاد وانتشار للأمراض وأكبر أزمة نزوح في العالم: السودان بعد 10 أشهر من الصراع.

    “25 مليون سوداني يحتاجون إلى مساعدات إنسانية. يواجه 18 مليونا منهم الجوع الحاد، و5 ملايين في مستويات الطوارئ من الجوع”.
    😊
    🙏🏻

  20. @Kismet-1001Nights

    February 14, 2024 at 1:30 pm

    منظمة الصحة العالمية تحذر من كارثة تفوق التصور إذا وقع توغل عسكري واسع النطاق في رفح.

    ومن غزة قال مسؤول المنظمة في فلسطين إنه يرى الخوف في أعين الناس عندما يتساءلون “ماذا عسانا أن نفعل؟” ونبه إلى أن المستشفيات مثقلة بالأعباء وتقترب من حافة الانهيار.
    😊
    🙏🏻

  21. @Kismet-1001Nights

    February 14, 2024 at 1:31 pm

    البطون الخاوية تؤجج الاضطرابات.

    “لتجنب التهديدات المتنامية للسلم والأمن الدوليين، لابد من العمل الآن لكسر العلاقة المميتة بين الصراع والمناخ وانعدام الأمن الغذائي”.

    – الأمين العام للأمم المتحدة أمام مجلس الأمن الدولي
    😊
    🙏🏻

  22. @askdearfranny

    February 14, 2024 at 2:21 pm

    Thank you for watching! ❤❤❤

    • @_---__

      February 14, 2024 at 3:45 pm

      Outstanding job!! Great video 👍🏾

  23. @Claus-dx2qy

    February 14, 2024 at 3:49 pm

    Make love, stop turning agape and eros into a pseudo-intellectual prosthesis of a worn-out Hollywood lecture.

  24. @Lady-E.

    February 14, 2024 at 5:20 pm

    Bring them home now!!!!!

  25. @user-qs3gu4ld8p

    February 14, 2024 at 8:03 pm

    Francesca, the tribe has spoken.

  26. @ColdMotivation-rf8fg

    February 14, 2024 at 9:43 pm

    What a powerful video!! Very appropriate since it’s valentines ❤ never listened to such a short Ted talk before but this one is top ten best I’ve ever come across in terms of value given 🙏🏾

  27. @EskeAndersen

    February 15, 2024 at 12:32 am

    It’s not that you’re being lied to about romance. It’s much worse than that. It’s that you want to be lied to.

  28. @vicrollon3140

    February 15, 2024 at 3:44 am

    Happy V-day to all! ❤

  29. @vicrollon3140

    February 15, 2024 at 3:46 am

    To love is to be physical, mental and spiritual … 😂

  30. @nverend4450

    February 15, 2024 at 5:07 am

    The result is constant, you can’t change it. You are the manipulation on how to react the result, “happy ever after” is a definition for something going on someone’s expectation. If you not gonna change to get what is not on your current life, your life will be in an undesignated destination.

  31. @andersemanuel

    February 15, 2024 at 4:15 pm

    Lock up platitudes. This video should be there.

  32. @nomosfoster2457

    February 15, 2024 at 4:52 pm

    Grown man crying over here.

  33. @nguyen_thuy_lam

    February 15, 2024 at 4:59 pm

    HAPPILY EVER AFTER?? TxT just crossed my mind. I LOVE YOU TXT I LOVE YOU ENGLISH

  34. @zeroths2254

    February 15, 2024 at 8:04 pm

    ❤ this

  35. @jovelynbag-o__

    February 16, 2024 at 8:53 pm

    “commodifocation of romantic love”, as if it’s the only thing one could ever live and hope for

  36. @jovelynbag-o__

    February 16, 2024 at 8:55 pm

    No hate to those that are in love and in a relationship. But I guess we must first put emphasis on finding love and worth in yourself first before trying to find it in another person. The other way around make us seek for an ideal, rose-colored thing that’s not necessarily always butterflies and sparks in reality. This is the reason why nowadays some leave their relationship when it’s no longer ideal, without exhausting all means to fix it. Then on the hunt again for the next fantasy.

  37. @myparceltape1169

    February 17, 2024 at 6:41 am

    But if your status is determined to be High by the one whom you determine to be of High status.
    You are the complex, just the two of you.

  38. @harriemeeuwis978

    February 17, 2024 at 12:12 pm

    It’s still a wish list that says: what do I get out of it. That’s why most relationships end in divorce: two egocentric people trying to live together. That doesn’t work well.

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