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The Most Important Virtue for a Good Life | Meghan Sullivan | TED

What if the secret to a good life isn’t just what you achieve but how deeply you love? Drawing on wisdom from Aristotle, Jesus and modern social psychology, philosopher Meghan Sullivan offers tips on how to expand your capacity for love, even in the face of our modern challenges. (Recorded at TEDNext 2025 on November…

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What if the secret to a good life isn’t just what you achieve but how deeply you love? Drawing on wisdom from Aristotle, Jesus and modern social psychology, philosopher Meghan Sullivan offers tips on how to expand your capacity for love, even in the face of our modern challenges. (Recorded at TEDNext 2025 on November 10, 2025)

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44 Comments

44 Comments

  1. @death_isjust_thebeginning

    February 9, 2026 at 11:14 am

    Hmmm love, can you define it? Because major world religions dont really talk about “love” for everyone… that’s misplaced understanding of what it is we should be seeking.

    In the Islamic faith as I’m sure with other religions “love” is talked about what you love for yourself, love it for others. It’s about action. Because love is not something you can just force out of you.

    I find we need to define love here.

    • @homewall744

      February 9, 2026 at 12:08 pm

      Love for everyone means no love at all. And it would be to your destruction, unless poverty and power by the most violent is is the goal.

    • @t8rn8r

      February 9, 2026 at 12:41 pm

      I think you may have missed part of the video! She gives very clear definitions of love beginning at 3:45 and 4:37. She summarizes them as “connection and vulnerability”.

    • @razi-elinho

      February 9, 2026 at 2:05 pm

      Love is recognizing parts of yourself in another person, and choosing to invest in them—through time, care, honesty, and vulnerability.

      We often fall in love with reflections of who we are or who we’re becoming.
      We love those we give to.
      We sometimes hurt the people we love, not because we don’t care, but because we allow ourselves to be unguarded with them.

      Love is a double-edged sword: closeness creates both connection and pain.
      And real love begins where vulnerability exists—on either side.

      It doesn’t always look emotional or expressive. Sometimes it’s quiet, deliberate, and deeply conscious.

    • @Cece_Si

      February 9, 2026 at 2:16 pm

      Love is the action of wishing someone well. Love is a chosen devotion a chosen obedience and compassion

    • @elfiem6177

      February 9, 2026 at 5:18 pm

      The word “love” is used for at least seven different aspects of deep appreciation. This is causing sometimes a bit of confusion.

  2. @death_isjust_thebeginning

    February 9, 2026 at 11:17 am

    How we cultivate love in the Islamic faith is very simple.
    “Love for your brother, what you love for yourself”.

    That’s how you cultivate love.

    How would you want others to treat you in the same matter?

    It’s treatment.

  3. @ExistentialWolf

    February 9, 2026 at 11:24 am

    Phonetically it is missing the kindness of someone. L O V E °˳○😗🛩😬

  4. @MrRoberthafetz

    February 9, 2026 at 11:33 am

    Love for everyone is a symptom of an attachment disorder. Love without moral values is toxic.

  5. @NasForahtu

    February 9, 2026 at 11:39 am

    Pill? Why not just shoot an injection into one’s neck to control their emotions… oh wait, that is the movie Equilibrium.

  6. @misssummersalt

    February 9, 2026 at 11:39 am

    “What is love?” Philosophy tells us we don’t want babies to hurt us, to hurt us no more.

  7. @st.g

    February 9, 2026 at 11:40 am

    Isn’t there a love pill? And why is it illegal?

    • @MrRoberthafetz

      February 9, 2026 at 12:58 pm

      there is its oxytocin

  8. @sodapoppsycho

    February 9, 2026 at 11:49 am

    I don’t gotta worry about taking one of those pills HAHA! 😀 <3

  9. @gavinde4

    February 9, 2026 at 12:21 pm

    Doc Roxbury here with the answer (pow pow pow pow POW POW POW POW 🎶)

  10. @dandoun16

    February 9, 2026 at 12:29 pm

    And what happens when seeing a person on the street with their guts spilling out doesnt move us and we keep scrolling..? Yes, we need a revolution to love more

  11. @Hatsuzuki808

    February 9, 2026 at 12:32 pm

    Commonly either “baby don’t hurt me” or “a second-hand emotion”

  12. @eldorado5319

    February 9, 2026 at 12:33 pm

    I love you Meghan Sullivan

  13. @vikaskhanna8559

    February 9, 2026 at 1:08 pm

    Life is not just about what happens to you — it’s about how your mind interprets it.

    When the mind is weak, even a small situation feels like a mountain. You feel trapped, helpless, and overwhelmed.

    When the mind is balanced, the same situation becomes a challenge. Something to work through, something you can handle with patience and calm.

    When the mind is strong, that very situation turns into an opportunity — a stepping stone toward growth, wisdom, and success.

    The situation doesn’t change. YOU do.
    Your perception shapes your reality.
    Your thoughts can either build walls or open doors.

    💡 Train your mind like you train your body.
    Feed it with positivity.
    Strengthen it with discipline.
    Calm it with mindfulness.

    Because in the end, life’s battles are first fought in the mind — and those who win there, win everywhere.

  14. @dmitryivanov5380

    February 9, 2026 at 1:26 pm

    ..baby dont hurt me no more!

  15. @timw.6910

    February 9, 2026 at 1:54 pm

    Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more….

  16. @razi-elinho

    February 9, 2026 at 2:04 pm

    Love is recognition.
    It’s seeing fragments of yourself reflected in another person
    — who you are, who you were, who you might become.
    We don’t fall in love all at once;
    we fall in love in chapters,
    each time recognizing a different part of ourselves.

    We love those we give to.
    Time, attention, care —
    the more we pour, the more the bond takes shape.

    We hurt the people we love,
    not out of cruelty,
    but because love removes the armor.
    Truth slips out where silence once stood.

    Love is a double-edged blade:
    closeness cuts as deeply as it connects.
    Sometimes the wound itself becomes the proof
    that something real existed there.

    And love begins with vulnerability —
    when we allow ourselves to be seen,
    or when we are trusted with another’s fragility.

    Love isn’t always loud or tender by instinct.
    Sometimes it is quiet, deliberate, and aware.
    Sometimes it doesn’t say “I love you.”
    It stays.

  17. @CDN777-w3y

    February 9, 2026 at 2:41 pm

    Love IS all you need .. everything flows from it, including compassion, altruism, forgiveness, empathy, civility, kindness. Love is the currency with which we transact with others, and helps us understand we are all ONE through overcoming our egos.

  18. @eoliver32

    February 9, 2026 at 2:42 pm

    Tenderness is the good action for someone who we know and like.
    Gentleness is the good action for someone we don’t know.
    Kindness is a good action for someone we dont like it.
    The Samaritan was kindness about the Jewish.
    Love is much more than a simple good act.

  19. @adcashmo

    February 9, 2026 at 3:25 pm

    Here because of Hadaway

  20. @TheShellyHansenShow

    February 9, 2026 at 3:55 pm

    Love isn’t a soft virtue, it’s a demanding one. What stood out here is the reminder that love isn’t just a feeling we wait to have, it’s a practice that reshapes how we perceive others and ourselves. It’s easy for the nervous system to default to resentment and division because those states feel protective and familiar. Love, by contrast, requires regulation, presence, and a willingness to let the boundary between self and others soften. That’s not naive, it’s transformative, both psychologically and socially.

  21. @sherececocco

    February 9, 2026 at 5:08 pm

    Love is puffery. I knew it! Jesus trusted himself wholly and fakers will never know 😂
    Trust you 💛 it is golden 💛 ✨️ Self-trust is the language of everything 💛 👌 ♥️ 😄 ✨️

  22. @elfiem6177

    February 9, 2026 at 5:12 pm

    The pain of worrying about someone is not love itself but an effect of love. The pain can be adressed and smoothed so that it should not limit our wish and efforts to love the most we can. We can bear and wear the love and even its pain like the most wonderful jewels, the wonder of connection.

  23. @arturopadilla7817

    February 9, 2026 at 5:34 pm

    “AGAPE LOVE,THE GREATEST”
    JESUS Modeled The Perfection of AGAPE ” DIVINE LOVE”..Sacrificial,Unconditiónal,Spiritual Eternal Love.

  24. @Veritas0Aequitas-wm1lc

    February 9, 2026 at 5:59 pm

    Baby don’t hurt me

  25. @NexusWeave-9

    February 9, 2026 at 9:43 pm

    Fascinating contrast: while modern solutions often settle for civility amid division, this talk reveals love’s transformative power lies in vulnerability – from selective virtue-sharing to universal compassion in unexpected encounters.
    The rejection of a ‘love everyone’ pill underscores that true depth demands willingness to bear worry, making ethical life profoundly relational rather than insulated.

  26. @bobbafett1849

    February 9, 2026 at 10:01 pm

    🎵What is love? Baby dont hurt me no more🎵

  27. @drumbum3.142

    February 9, 2026 at 10:20 pm

    Love is (Partly) the Art, Practice, and Occurance of Giving a Damn,. Otherwise.. …you’d Wait (Around) Seven Hours Not Doing Anything.
    Maybe from now on this should be called the Moscow/Uvalde Effect.. 💀☠️💀💀💀

    … and this comes from a Master Procrastinator.

  28. @BusinessBankingAndBeyond

    February 9, 2026 at 11:55 pm

    We learn to appreciate the nuances of different perspectives, develop resilience in the face of challenges, and cultivate a deeper sense of purpose. Sullivan suggests that wisdom is a lifelong pursuit, requiring openness to learning and growth, as well as a commitment to self-reflection and empathy. Ultimately, embracing wisdom allows us to lead lives that are not only successful but also fulfilling and enriched by understanding and compassion.

  29. @MKStheArtist-j9x

    February 10, 2026 at 3:26 am

    Love is truth and it can change our life’s but like any truth is not true until it’s complete and that is why we feel uncomfortable with even good things like love , what Jesus peace be upon him say is to show us complete picture of this whole equation, to link ourselves and our life’s with one and only GOD of us all who was not created and living from ever and can’t be destroy and everliving and Love us all and take care of us all , so when Love of someone who can’t be destroy and live forever take over our hearts then our Love become safe and we start loving every one without fear of losing them , because GOD had give us with so much data to give our hearts a confidence and guarantees to keep loving without fear of this world and fear GOD and that fear is not like we fear for this world that fear is becoming bad person which our GOD whom we love most don’t like , so we all have to love each other but in a tight way so our love become true and forever

  30. @dea8408

    February 10, 2026 at 8:25 am

    I don’t understand what she is implying, does her point is for us to be more vulnerable with others or what? It’s easy to say “love is power vulnerability is power” but in the overwhelmingly most cases irl showing vulnerability to others (unless you know them very well) is very dangerous and leads to pain not “love”

  31. @WisdomBeacon

    February 10, 2026 at 8:56 am

    A powerful reminder that love and vulnerability lead to a good life.

  32. @Jamiro11lol

    February 10, 2026 at 10:01 am

    Baby don’t hurt me

  33. @BrianMcInnis87

    February 10, 2026 at 2:56 pm

    Not how Notre Dame’s pronounced, Meghan, but go on.

  34. @Benoit-Pierre

    February 10, 2026 at 8:43 pm

    Morgan Sullivan reminds me the movie Cypher …

  35. @iainmackenzieUK

    February 11, 2026 at 6:38 am

    So – lets start by meeting mr Trump where he is vulnerable. I am sure life has beaten him up along the way. His behaviours probably a reaction to the beatings. If we can get through to him, he will deflate. in a good way. be there to catch him too.

  36. @KyleDuranWutke-m3e

    February 11, 2026 at 9:53 am

    Wonderful 🙂

  37. @victornoagbodji

    February 11, 2026 at 6:38 pm

    She’s such a great presenter! Thanks for sharing this one! 😊

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