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Is Someone You Love Suffering in Silence? Here’s What To Do | Gus Worland | TED

Lots of people talk about the need to be physically fit, but mentally fit? Not as much. In a powerful talk, mental health advocate Gus Worland shares how an experience of deep grief from his own life sparked his mission to advocate for suicide prevention — and shows why “looking after your own village” can…

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Lots of people talk about the need to be physically fit, but mentally fit? Not as much. In a powerful talk, mental health advocate Gus Worland shares how an experience of deep grief from his own life sparked his mission to advocate for suicide prevention — and shows why “looking after your own village” can be as simple as sending a text message, right now, to the person you cannot imagine living without.

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48 Comments

  1. brains7733

    May 23, 2023 at 11:49 am

    A message of LOVE delivered with passion and sincerity. Thanks Gus.

  2. TEAM MAD YT

    May 23, 2023 at 11:54 am

    Thank you love you anna

  3. vivian jones

    May 23, 2023 at 11:54 am

    HAPPY FOR YOU!!!❤😂

  4. Tofu Yun

    May 23, 2023 at 11:54 am

  5. Richard Shift

    May 23, 2023 at 12:01 pm

    Honest question now for Gus and everyone: how can I help you helping?? This is sincere! Please, let me know!

    • Ryan V

      May 23, 2023 at 12:35 pm

      He says at 11:00 how you can help.

  6. A. V.

    May 23, 2023 at 12:04 pm

    Make housing affordable.

  7. Ashraf Zulhelmi

    May 23, 2023 at 12:05 pm

    How about that someone is myself?

  8. Maggie Kelley

    May 23, 2023 at 12:12 pm

    I’m that person. I’m not attractive, but I know or can figure out problems easily. I’ve been through enough therapy to know how to communicate effectively and directly. I rubbed shoulders with people at the state house, know how to look confident, how to approach the person you’ve had a crush on without being creepy, and am a rock for quite a few people.

    I learned all of this through extensive therapy after I attempted to take my own life several times.

    I know the answers, but only for you. I don’t know the answers for myself. I feel meaningless and directionless in a lot of ways. I give all this advice and help, but there’s always this undercurrent of wanting to unalive myself.

    I wish I knew how to reach out and be vulnerable to others like they are with me.

    • Moonis Wani

      May 23, 2023 at 1:38 pm

      Do you want to change ?

    • Hans Woast

      May 23, 2023 at 2:16 pm

      I am in a very similar situation. It started to make sense when Chris Williamson said “the persona cannot receive love, only praise”. If you do not allow yourself to be yourself, you will starve to death. You need to “be yourself”, open up, be vulnerable, talk about your wants, needs and feelings. This can only be achieved by not trying to be someone else, by not being driven by expectations of others, by acknowledging your feelings and being real to your heart. You can only truly connect to others when you are connected to yourself, e.g. when you are vulnerable and honest and you accept yourself. Being disconnected from oneself and others is the essence of trauma (see Dr. Gabor Mate). I might also point you to Jordan Peterson for the importance of meaning. Best of luck!

    • Maggie Kelley

      May 23, 2023 at 4:56 pm

      @Hans Woast Interesting you mention trauma…. There’s been a lot of that. I’ve been going through a real bad streak, and seem to have them in my life? Loss and trauma have dotted the landscape for quite some time, but I’m not sure exactly how to stop that tide. I’m of a pretty low social class as well, so qualified help and a safe place to heal have been very difficult to come by.

  9. Buddkilla 82

    May 23, 2023 at 12:24 pm

    Stop being whiny btches, smoke a joint and be happy.
    Theres not enough time in the world to be sad.
    Youre loved ones can die any minute, youll regret not spending time with them for being sad all the time and shutting them out.

    Do push ups, tell yourself youre not depressed, tell yourself youre fine and it will be fine

    Stop worrying of it happened it happened.

    Stop dwelling on the things that happened already , stop dwelling on the things you cant change.

    Start thinking about the things you can accomplish.

    Start by working out.

    If you dont do anything to beyter youre memtal health, then youre just lazy and actually WANT to be sad.

    Thats youre problem.

  10. RimaruTTempest

    May 23, 2023 at 12:34 pm

    I’m that person

  11. ronold cross

    May 23, 2023 at 1:16 pm

    It would be nice to have a “Gotch for life”. But no giving up on the people I know. NEVER GIVE UP!

  12. matthew 2779

    May 23, 2023 at 1:20 pm

    I have lost many many people I have loved family and friends. It’s so important to say the things you need to say to people you love. Because nobody knows what’s coming tomorrow. The world would be a better place if we could all just be a little kinder to each other. This is for everyone who’s feeling like the day is always going to be dark, Don’t give up. There is no darkness that The light of hope and love can’t break through. Don’t give up even for all its UPS and Downs life is a beautiful thing. And live each day like it is your last because it very well could be.

  13. matthew 2779

    May 23, 2023 at 1:31 pm

    We all need someone to talk to you. We all need understanding and compassion and most of mercy and love. Not love of a great or spouse. But love for all humanity even the ones we don’t like or understand. It’s dialogie that changes people lives. Walk in someone else’s shoes and understand That all pain is universal and true compassion comes from sharing in someone’s pain and not pushing the person away whose pain you cannot bear the deal with.

  14. adeola08

    May 23, 2023 at 1:33 pm

    Very touching story. Thank you so much for sharing and your bravery.

  15. m2po

    May 23, 2023 at 1:48 pm

    Men need to learn how to provide emotional support to each other, somewhat like women do for each other.

    • Bonnie Jo Smith

      May 24, 2023 at 2:06 pm

      No I don’t want that Vinny

  16. adeola08

    May 23, 2023 at 1:48 pm

    I really wish I had someone like this in my life. Would make a world of difference.

  17. Bonnie Jo Smith

    May 23, 2023 at 2:23 pm

    How could Robin Williams the most funniest man on the planet take his own life he’s suffered in silence

    • Marc Anderson

      May 23, 2023 at 2:49 pm

      His brain was being slowly destroyed by a horrible disease. He knew it; he knew it would only get worse; and he knew it was terminal. That’s a hard thing to carry.

    • Marc Anderson

      May 23, 2023 at 2:52 pm

      Also, as different areas of your brain deteriorate and die, your capacity for rational thought and reasoning can go with it. Dementia in any form is just horrible, for the patient and the family / friends.

    • Bonnie Jo Smith

      May 23, 2023 at 2:54 pm

      @Marc Anderson he suffered in silence yeah the loving daughter that was devastated you don’t know what you’re talkin about you’re fired

    • neen42

      May 23, 2023 at 3:45 pm

      ​@Bonnie Jo Smith he absolutely knows what he’s talking about. Anyone who has had a loved one suffer and linger with dementia before dying an unrecognizable shell of a person would know that.

  18. Jonathan

    May 23, 2023 at 2:50 pm

    Wow, what a deep talk. Many thanks for that.

  19. When Needed

    May 23, 2023 at 3:16 pm

    Because most people have “self interest” only.

    And 90% never ask the givers how they feel.

    • David Fortier

      May 24, 2023 at 10:40 am

      Compassion doesn’t really cost anything, but so many people are so stingy with it.

  20. Jacob Cory

    May 23, 2023 at 3:17 pm

    Thank you.

  21. Farrah

    May 23, 2023 at 3:42 pm

    I definitely have a life of battle of suicide. Unfortunately now my depression is grief now. My son was murdered not to long. Now I just want to be of service to help those that are struggling with perspective. Life is so meaningful until life feels meaningless. At that point is when you find your inner self. I’ve learned to center myself and say things that are fearful out loud. I hope that you have an amazing day on purpose.

    • lyn lacey

      May 24, 2023 at 11:09 am

      Aw I’m going through a depressing episode too take care of yourself x

    • Bonnie Jo Smith

      May 24, 2023 at 2:05 pm

      It takes a year every day to work on grief and that’s devastating that your son was murdered I couldn’t even imagine the pain

    • adeola08

      May 25, 2023 at 8:19 pm

      So sorry for your loss.

  22. Charlotte's Web 🕸

    May 23, 2023 at 4:58 pm

    Suicidal people are very good at hiding how they feel for the most part.

  23. KANJO

    May 23, 2023 at 5:29 pm

    Hello from spexy fam <3

  24. 岡村さゆり

    May 23, 2023 at 7:03 pm

    TOYOTA is criminal enterprise..
    murderer

  25. Jamal Wright

    May 23, 2023 at 7:49 pm

    Faith, hope and love; these three, and the greatest of these is love.

  26. Mike

    May 23, 2023 at 11:03 pm

    Inspiring

  27. K

    May 24, 2023 at 3:50 am

    best ted talk ive ever seen

  28. Ardy77

    May 24, 2023 at 4:25 am

    What a powerful message and will definitely be sending my text. Thanks so much Gus.

  29. I

    May 24, 2023 at 9:46 am

    Governments spend tax money in military to kill other
    They dont spend in mental health care for whom killing thyself

  30. RJRJ RJJ

    May 24, 2023 at 10:26 am

    Thank you GusWorland, you are amazing

  31. reema samrat

    May 24, 2023 at 11:45 am

  32. Helena K

    May 25, 2023 at 5:07 am

    Awesome Thank you for sharing ,and sorry about your loss.

  33. Csilla Molnár

    May 25, 2023 at 6:35 am

    Is there a ted talk to people who literally have no one?

  34. Peter McCoy

    May 25, 2023 at 9:00 am

    You are gross, You are using his story only for attention.

  35. tralamont

    May 25, 2023 at 12:58 pm

    Thank you for sharing.

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