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What has the coronavirus pandemic taught us about ourselves and our relationships? In a deeply personal and wide-ranging conversation, leadership expert Simon Sinek shares his own experience caring for his mental health as the world shut down. He discusses why we need to nurture friendships (in both good times and bad), explains why anyone can be a leader — and reveals the secret to discovering your “why” in life. (This virtual conversation, hosted by head of TED Chris Anderson, was part of an exclusive TED Membership event. Visit to become a TED Member.)
0:00 Intro
0:41 The impact of collective pandemic trauma
03:33 How to strengthen your relationships
06:21 Healing by helping others
11:06 An exercise to find your “why”
13:24 The best way to show up for loved ones
14:36 The true definition of leadership
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Transcriber:
Chris Anderson: Simon, I’ll start us off
by saying, I mean, here we are, look,
after a year of the pandemic,
probably one of the most extraordinary
experiences any of us have had.
What do you think the unexpected
psychological carryovers might be?
I mean, do you think we’ve kind of —
Part of me thinks that people
have got more fragile,
that it’s almost like
there’s a sort of learned timidity.
Have you seen any evidence of that
or how would you characterize it?
Simon Sinek: I think we’ve definitely
all become much more aware
of mental health.
And that it’s a real thing
and that mental health affects
strong and healthy people.
We all suffered trauma during COVID.
Some of us dealt with it earlier,
some of us dealt with it later,
some of us are still dealing with it,
but nobody escapes it.
When COVID first started, you know,
many of us had to pivot our organizations,
had to pivot our businesses very quickly.
And so I, like many others,
we went into mission mode.
And I called a friend of mine
who is active-duty military.
And I asked him a very simple question,
how do I compartmentalize my emotions
so that I can stay focused on the mission?
And he gave me a very stern warning.
He said, you can’t.
He said, we can compartmentalize our
emotions for only a short period of time,
but no one, no one escapes
the trauma of combat.
And he said, you may not even experience
the trauma while you’re in it,
you may not experience it when
you first come home,
you may experience it months later.
He says, I experience it four
or five months after I get home.
So immediately I hung up the phone
and called all my A-type
personality friends
and said, OK, we think we’re good,
but we’re going to get hit
by this at some point.
And we made a deal that when we
started to feel off our game,
we would call each other.
Safe space.
And we made another deal
that there would be no crying alone.
That if you had to cry, you picked up
the phone and you called somebody.
Well, about four or five
months into COVID,
I started to feel off my game
and I didn’t know what was going on.
And so I called that same
friend in the military
and I asked no leading questions.
I simply asked him, tell me what your
symptoms are when you suffer the trauma
when you come home from combat.
And he said, well, number one,
he falls out of his sleep pattern.
He said he starts going to bed
late for no reason
and doesn’t want to get up in the morning.
And I thought to myself, yep.
He says he has some unproductive days
and he comes up with an excuse like,
“It’s OK, you know,
you deserve a rest. It’s fine.”
But then he has another
and another and another.
And I thought to myself, yep.
And he said he becomes very antisocial
where he doesn’t want to ask for help
and he definitely doesn’t want
to talk to anybody.
And I thought to myself, yep.
And I realized what I was going
through was trauma.
And I was afraid to use
the D-word, depression,
for fear that that was some
sort of diagnosis.
I think a lot of people
are afraid of that word,
but that’s exactly
what I was going through.
I was going through
lowercase “D” depression.
And I followed the rule
that we set with our friends
and I called people.
Because one of the things
I asked my friend is like,
how do you overcome it?
He said, you have to force yourself
back into a sleep pattern
and force yourself to call friends
and ask for help.
And so I think one of the things,
I think that comes out of COVID,
is we recognized just the importance
of human connection.
You know, in this fast-paced
digital world,
we kidded ourselves to think
that we had connections
just because we were connected.
But it was amazing to see
when COVID started,
regardless of someone’s age
or a technological competency,
we all picked up the phone.
Like, young people
were talking to each other.
And I think that intense craving
for a human voice and human touch,
I think we were reminded just
how fragile we are as human beings.
CA: That phrase you’ve mentioned,
“no crying alone,” that’s powerful.
I mean, forgive me asking,
did you cry with someone?
SS: Yes.
I followed my own counsel to my friends.
And when I had to cry,
when I was overwhelmed,
I picked up the phone and I just cried.
And I had friends call me and do the same.
CA: And there was healing in that.
SS: The most important thing
that came from it
was that we didn’t —
none of us felt alone.
And there’s intense safety.
That amazing sense of safety
that we all desire as human beings.
You know, you can’t feel safe
when you’re vulnerable,
like, that’s when we need it the most.
But you have to build those relationships.
You build those relationships
in the happy times, the good times,
where you think you’re strong,
you think you’re great.
It’s very hard to start
building those relationships
in the moment of crisis.
And I think it’s a lesson
for leadership, quite frankly.
Which is, you can’t judge
the quality of a crew
by how a ship performs in calm waters.
You judge the quality of a crew
by how a ship performs in rough waters.
But the time in calm waters
is when you’re building
relationship and trust
and you don’t really actually know
if you have trusting relationships
and trusting teams
and loving relationships
until the crisis strikes.
And I heard this from a lot of people:
When COVID happened,
they commented on how they realized
who their real friends were.
Some people kind of fell by the wayside,
it was nothing personal.
It’s just like, we didn’t call each other
and we’re still, you know,
weren’t angry or anything.
And there are some people who came out
of the woodwork to check in on us
and those friendships flourished.
And that’s what I mean.
It takes hardship for those friendships
and that trust to really bear fruit.
But that’s why we have to invest
in people when we’re doing well
and we don’t think we need anybody.
And I think we forget that.
CA: What would you say
to someone who has realized
that they’re in this moment,
what’s been a really difficult year,
and they actually don’t feel
that there’s someone they could,
for example,
pick up the phone and cry with?
Is it hopeless for them until this passes?
Or what would you say to them?
SS: There is an irony.
There’s an irony in when we need help.
And when I was writing
the book “Leaders Eat Last,”
I had the opportunity
to spend some time with
and visit Alcoholics Anonymous.
And it is a remarkable organization.
And many of us are familiar
with the 12-step program.
And many of us are familiar
with the first step,
which is admitting you have a problem.
But then it’s the other 11 steps
that also matter.
And Alcoholics Anonymous knows
that if you master the first 11 steps,
but not the 12th,
you are likely to succumb to the disease.
But if you master the 12 steps,
you’re more likely
to overcome the disease.
That 12th step is to help
another alcoholic.
It’s service.
And so there’s a great irony
when we need help
to actually help someone
who’s struggling
with the same thing as us.
And it is the most
healing thing we can do.
So, you know, if we need
someone to cry with,
it’s to offer the shoulder
for somebody else to cry with.
If we’re feeling lonely,
it’s to be there for someone else
who’s struggling with loneliness.
And this goes way beyond these subjects,
which is if we’re looking for love
to help somebody else find love,
if we’re looking for the job we love,
to help somebody else
find the job that they love.
And there’s tremendous value in service.
And you hear about these
things all the time,
you talk to people why they chose to go
in the profession they went into,
especially if they’re in
the service profession,
let’s say somebody
is a counselor for trauma.
And you say, why did you go
into this profession?
“When I was younger,
I suffered a trauma,
and somebody was there to counsel me
and I decided I wanted to commit
my life to doing that for others.”
This is what happens with service.
And we forget, just because we live
in a modern world,
we’re actually a very
old-fashioned machine.
The human animal is a legacy machine
living in a modern world.
And we still work the same way we used to.
And we desperately need each other
to survive and thrive
as much as we did
when we were living in huts
in small tribes of 150 people.
And so service service is the thing.
CA: That sounds like,
even for someone who’s not feeling,
like, depressed or at the edge right now,
but a good checklist-question to ask is,
is there someone
I could reach out to actually,
there maybe other people
who are in a much worse situation
and maybe there is a call I could make
that would be incredibly
valuable to that person
and help build
a relationship with future?
SS: “Are you OK?” “How are you?
You know, a friend of mine, George Flynn,
he says his test for a leader is
if they ask you how you’re doing,
they actually care about the answer.
And I really like that.
CA: OK, I could talk with you
for hours about this,
but we’re going to go
to some questions now.
So here’s a question from Kayum.
“If there is no way to get back
to normal,” as you said,
“then are we on the right path
of building new normal already?
Or can you help us with a blueprint
that new normal should be based on?”
SS: So blueprint? No.
Guidances? Yes.
I think that humanity has to be —
We have to remember that humanity matters.
And when I say humanity,
I don’t mean big-H Humanity,
I mean little-H humanity, our humanity.
When COVID first happened,
so many leaders leaned on their humanity,
whether they were effective
or ineffective leaders prior to COVID,
many of them picked up the phone
and said, “Are you OK?”
They called their teams
just to check in on them.
Or they called their friends to say,
“Are you OK? How are you?”
Well, we don’t need a global
pandemic to do that.
That’s called good leadership
and we should be doing that all the time.
And we should be encouraging
those in our charge to do the same
for those in their charge.
You know, the hierarchy
can still be effective that way.
I hope that remains.
I hope that remains.
I hope the use of the telephone remains.
That we don’t just go back
to texting all the time.
I hope that putting our phones away
and having family dinner remains.
I think there’s a lot of kids
that will actually come through this
with stronger relationships
with their siblings if they have them,
and stronger relationship
with their parents
because they had so much time together.
And kids who may have struggled prior
because they weren’t getting
the kind of attention they needed
because their parents
were so busy with work,
you know, even if mom or dad
are busy on a Zoom call all day,
that hour that they would ordinarily
just go get a cup of coffee or something,
that they could focus on their kid.
I think a lot of kids
actually will come out of this.
And kids are remarkably adaptable.
They’re remarkably adaptable.
CA: Here’s a question from Mariusz.
“Could you give us some tips
on how to discover our Why?”
SS: Absolutely.
I’ll give you a little exercise
that you can do with your friends.
It’s called the Friends Exercise.
Find a friend you love and who loves you.
The person who, if they called you
at three o’clock in the morning,
you take the call and you know
they would do the same for you.
Do not do this with a sibling or a spouse.
Do not do this with a parent.
Those relationships are too close.
Do it with a best friend.
And go up to them
and ask the simple question,
“Why are we friends?”
And they’re going to look at you
like you’re crazy
because you’re asking them
to put into words a feeling.
You’re asking them to use
a part of the brain, the neocortex,
that doesn’t control feelings,
and to put the thing that exists
in the limbic brain into language,
which it doesn’t do.
And so it’s actually
a very difficult question.
They’re going to say, “I don’t know.”
It’s not that they don’t know,
it’s that they can’t put it into words.
Ironically, you stop asking
the question why
and you start asking the question, “what”
because “what” is a rational question.
“What is it about me that I know
that you would be there for me
no matter what?”
And they won’t know how to answer it.
They’ll start describing you.
“I don’t know, you’re funny, I trust you.
You’ve always been there for me.”
You play devil’s advocate.
“Good. That’s the definition of a friend.
What specifically is it about me
that I know you’d be there for me
no matter what?”
And they’ll continue to do the same.
They’ll keep trying to describe you.
You keep playing devil’s advocate.
You get the idea.
Eventually they’ll give up
and they’ll start describing themselves.
And they’ll say,
and this is what my friend said to me
when I did it with them,
“I don’t know, Simon.
I don’t even have to talk to you.
I could just sit in the same room as you
and I feel inspired.”
And I got goosebumps,
I’m getting them right now.
They will articulate the value
you have in their life
and you will have some sort
of emotional response,
goosebumps or you’ll well up,
because what they’re telling you
is your Why,
your Why is the thing
you give to the world.
You can do this with multiple friends
and they will say almost exactly,
if not the exact same thing,
because that is your Why.
That is the thing you give to the world.
So it may not give you exact language,
but it will put you squarely
in the ballpark for what your Why is.
CA: Here’s an anonymous question.
“I have a friend who is currently
struggling with depression,
and he’s just not like he used to be.
I don’t know what to say to him.
He’s actually annoyed by the question,
‘How are you doing?’
How can I offer my help?”
SS: So one of the things I learned
by accident a couple of years ago
is sometimes statements
work better than questions.
Because questions people can avoid, right?
This is what we all did during COVID.
“How are you?” “Fine. Fine.”
Everyone’s fine, right?
And then what do you do with that?
And so try making a statement, right?
Something’s wrong.
Something’s different.
You’re not the same.
I’m worried about you.
Make statements.
And it leaves very little room
for somebody to divert the conversation.
You’re not the person I know.
And do it with love and empathy
and the most important thing,
don’t show up to solve the problem.
Especially when you’re starting
to have a difficult conversation,
you don’t show up to solve the problem.
You show up to create an environment
in which they’d be willing
to open up to you.
That’s the only goal.
So try a statement instead of a question.
CA: So here’s the last question,
I’m going to ask this for me.
What do you mean, Simon,
when you say that everyone is a leader?
SS: Leadership has nothing
to do with rank or title.
I know many people who sit
at the highest levels of organizations
who are not leaders.
We do as they tell us
because they have authority over us,
but we don’t trust them
and we wouldn’t follow them.
And yet I also know many people who sit
at very low levels of organizations
that have no formal rank
and no formal authority,
and yet they’ve made the choice
to look after the person
to the left of them
and the person to the right of them,
and we would trust them
and follow them anywhere.
Leadership is the responsibility
to see those around us rise.
It’s the responsibility to take care
of those around us.
That’s what leadership is.
It’s not about being in charge.
It’s about taking care
of those in our charge.
And the only thing title
and authority allow you to do
is lead with greater scale.
Every single one of us has the opportunity
to be the leader we wish we had.
Every single one of us.
CA: Simon, thank you so much
for spending this time with us.
SS: Thanks, Chris. I really appreciate it.
Take care of yourself.
Take care of each other.
[Get access to thought-provoking
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ChipmunkRapidsMadMan
May 28, 2021 at 4:28 pm
This man’s degree of psychological weakness is mind boggling.
What kind of upbringing would produce such a person that you’re traumatised by having to build a new daily ritual?
CaliMa5
May 28, 2021 at 4:28 pm
I started emotionally imploding at the beginning of this year. I have been a single Mom of 5 for over 10 years and thought I could get through anything. This is really resonating with my current situation. Thank you for sharing this with the public. We all need to hear this.
F N.
May 28, 2021 at 4:30 pm
It’s sad that I dont have a person that I can call at 3am and they’ll pick up
Irene Severova
May 28, 2021 at 6:03 pm
Me neither 🥺
Rajni Rani
May 28, 2021 at 4:39 pm
Thanks Ted! This conversation really answered my few questions that was so deeply, intimately related to me! Thanks Simon!❤ I’ll definitely chk ur work.
Mercy Shaver
May 28, 2021 at 4:55 pm
🙏 thank you
Lrnoo K
May 28, 2021 at 5:11 pm
I have this certain condition that I don’t get to meet my family, and close friends. It’s been couple of months now and I feel like I’m not fine..
I loved having my own time before all this but this is just getting too much for me.
Virgin_Mary _In_Islam
May 28, 2021 at 5:20 pm
Prophet Muhammad said :
‘””Never a believer is stricken with a discomfort, an illness, an anxiety, a grief or mental worry or even the pricking of a thorn but Allah will expiate his sins on account of his patience”.
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Louis Schoener
May 28, 2021 at 5:44 pm
Well, considering Muhammad’s personal life I am hesitant to accept anything he says as “wisdom”.
Virgin_Mary _In_Islam
May 28, 2021 at 5:52 pm
@Louis Schoener What sources did you use to read his biography?
Louis Schoener
May 28, 2021 at 7:31 pm
@Virgin_Mary _In_Islam God anointed me his prophet and informed me directly.
Virgin_Mary _In_Islam
May 28, 2021 at 7:58 pm
@Louis Schoener Prophet Muhammad said : “The Last Hour would not come until there would arise about thirty impostors, liars, and each one of them would claim that he is a messenger of GOD”
Louis Schoener
May 28, 2021 at 8:55 pm
@Virgin_Mary _In_Islam “About Thirty”? Seems a bit imprecise for an actual prophet of god. As a prophet myself I can assure you Muhammad is not a prophet. He never shows up at any of the meetings and god has no idea who he is.
Susann W
May 28, 2021 at 5:47 pm
Why are we friends?
Sk Fahad Fardin
May 28, 2021 at 5:48 pm
ওকে
Susann W
May 28, 2021 at 5:48 pm
Make Statements…
Susann W
May 28, 2021 at 5:49 pm
Try Statements instead of question…interesting. Thank you
Susann W
May 28, 2021 at 5:50 pm
Wonderful especially the Last 3 questions and anders! Wonderful
BangzMookhi
May 28, 2021 at 5:53 pm
Am i the only one who finds it crazy/weird that we are born to find/discover our why?
Havana Road
May 28, 2021 at 11:44 pm
That’s what this rich companies want to, create trauma, a disconnection.
Schnell
May 29, 2021 at 9:37 am
You define your own why that’s the beautiful part about life
Logan Rutledge
May 28, 2021 at 5:54 pm
I wish Ted would stop showing this clown.
Jose Yong
May 28, 2021 at 5:54 pm
Wow thank you Simon for showing us is ok to be vulnerable (I could feel you when you said u cried), it’s ok to ask for help. That we are not broken, because I lost daily contact with other people (not my family) during Covid. I was yearning for connection, now I recognize that O was depress, not sleeping, not smiling for a year, then I went to a week yoga retreat where I could hug others and started to smile again, I cried without reservation.
Itz Jazi
May 28, 2021 at 5:59 pm
My only issue with the end question and making statements vs. asking questions is depending on who you’re talking to, some will use these blanket statements as a way to project onto you, knowingly and not, I wonder how projections can be avoided when genuinely trying to check on/help someone and vice versa.
The Man w/No Name
May 28, 2021 at 7:32 pm
((…we do know what makes life worth living. The people …loved and they were loved. They were mothers and fathers; they were husbands and wives; sisters and brothers; sons and daughters; friends and neighbors. They had hopes for the future and they had dreams that were not yet fulfilled.
And if there’s anything to take away from this …it’s the reminder life is very fragile. Our time here is limited and it is precious. And what matters at the end of the day is not the small things, it’s not the trivial things, which so often consume us and our daily lives. Ultimately, it’s how we choose to treat one another and how we love one another.
It’s what we do on a daily basis to give our lives meaning and to give our lives purpose. That’s what matters. At the end of the day, what we’ll remember will be those we loved and what we did for others. That’s why we’re here.)) – President Obama 🔥 🔥
JustAGuy
May 28, 2021 at 8:51 pm
Makes absolute sense, I shall proceed to ignore this story/advice though.
James Cataldo
May 28, 2021 at 9:34 pm
Hey chat: how are you doing?
dr. Tari
May 28, 2021 at 9:37 pm
15:04 leadership is a responsible taking care anyone in our charge.
Havana Road
May 28, 2021 at 11:44 pm
This is just a paid inyection of anestesia of the world we life in. Where companies that nonstop produce things we don’t need work with social media and creating of trauma and comparesing and depression, getting ride of sensible people, these companies work with companies that polute by sending items in no time and lie saying it’s not polluting at all, I notice they start no to accept people like Vandana Shiva who says please teach and love children to love the earth and grow cuality food
Rosemary Breehl
May 28, 2021 at 9:40 pm
❤️
Shangbinie
May 28, 2021 at 10:02 pm
He’s so inspiring
AL A
May 28, 2021 at 11:01 pm
What if you don’t have friends
Giovanie Garcia
May 28, 2021 at 11:03 pm
Quick simple to the point, well to great points 🙂
Mys B Hyv
May 29, 2021 at 3:24 am
I very much like how he described what a true leader is.
GreenM&M_11
May 29, 2021 at 3:38 am
Excellent video!!!
Bradley Clutton
May 29, 2021 at 4:19 am
Watching this at 5am haven’t slept yet, done a bare minimum of work just to get by today. Haven’t called anyone! Dam
susan
May 30, 2021 at 1:05 am
Are you okay?
jammadamma
May 29, 2021 at 9:10 am
If I keep pressing the upvote button long enough, I’m sure I can get it to accept more than 1 upvote.
NSB Mart
May 29, 2021 at 10:01 am
hi
Malsawm C-a
May 29, 2021 at 11:07 am
I am 136th commentator as of the time being if no body post it just before I up this unnecessary comment that no one will really read it then swipe it off up down to read other comments that they will really read it neither.
Doni Purnawi Hardiyanto
May 29, 2021 at 11:33 am
Thank you for your sharing Simon.
Shilpi Mukherjee
May 29, 2021 at 2:29 pm
“You think u r strong”
Men can cry…..the way he was shy to accept that he cried….so cute 😀
Guy Hollister
May 30, 2021 at 3:49 pm
19.5m Subscribers !
God Bear
May 29, 2021 at 2:48 pm
I didn’t cry during lockdown. I was at home chilling enjoying the unemployment money. Occasionally my sleep schedule would go out of whack but only for a few days. Also my hygiene routine never suffered much. I made sure to shower at least three times a week. I was happier to not have to go to work then I was sad about not being able to go out. 🤷🏾♂️
amol modi
May 29, 2021 at 5:47 pm
Thanks It was wonderful talk
Alina Braverman
May 29, 2021 at 8:48 pm
Ive been using what do you feel? Instead of How are you? It works better
Nisso Lab
May 29, 2021 at 10:16 pm
At the end of the video, he was speaking about leadership, and i kinda really liked what he said, does anyone have a book or something for me to read to get more ideas about that topic?
Mister HanWee
May 30, 2021 at 3:43 am
You might want to check out Simon’s books, if you haven’t already.
– Start With Why
– Leaders Eat Last
– Infinite Game
Nisso Lab
May 30, 2021 at 9:20 am
@Mister HanWee thanx alot dude, omw to check em
Mohammed Abbas
May 30, 2021 at 1:46 am
Wow I am just speechless. Actually this is what I must but very must needed to listen to. So many things changed inside me. As a person I was spending life even before covid alone and even when covid thing happened I was triple alone even though I live with my family. I always thought I don’t need friends because I didn’t find like minded people and that’s actually my struggle that I don’t want to be close friends with anyone, however seems in my good days and early time I was not serious enough to build meaningful relationships so this drived me to a false believe that I don’t need friends to be happy and I can be everything for myself. Meanwhile if I had gave more priority to this case I would be made friends that lift me and be there for me so I do. There are lots of thoughts currently going around my head and one thing I want to share with is that I feel better now since I realized where is the problem and will work on it directly right away. But please can someone share with me the 12-step thing? And if possible other recources he mentioned?
Thanks in advance.
Wishing you all better mental health.
Regards.
Norvis
May 30, 2021 at 1:29 pm
This pandemic has made me hate my parents even more. It’s not even hate now. It’s something different, bigger. It’s something more deep rooted
Herb of Grace
May 30, 2021 at 2:27 pm
My why is to keep promises and I have 3 yet to fulfil.
Norvis
May 30, 2021 at 3:41 pm
That was the ace I needed.
“Something wrong. U’re not the people I know”
Sudheesh P
May 30, 2021 at 6:05 pm
I started watching TED
Dharsha Govender
May 30, 2021 at 7:26 pm
Yup to everything!
skjelver one
May 30, 2021 at 8:34 pm
I went to work everyday since Covid started. Wore my mask, saw clients at a mental health/ addiction clinic. None of my clients got sick, nor did anyone in my family or circle of friends. Now Covid is supposedly over. Here in the US, we have stopped testing for Covid – to the tune of a 75% reduction in the past five months. Soon, we will stop listing people who die with Covid as having died from covid. No longer will a heart patient who dies of heart failure be listed as a “Covid death”, simply because they also had tested positive for Covid.
El Jefe
May 30, 2021 at 8:51 pm
When you have kids, your reasons why becomes very very clear
Fala sério! by Márcia Silva
May 30, 2021 at 11:05 pm
I love this! 🙂 Thanks.
Kayla Hecford
May 30, 2021 at 11:25 pm
That part about leadership, I just told someone the same thing. I knew I was not wrong to word it that way, people always think that having authority and being forceful,loud or even aggressive makes you a great leader. When that is far from it, thank you for this confirmation here.
Foggy Craw
May 31, 2021 at 12:56 am
How to make friends? Im a teen that had no one to call during quarantine
cybersekkin
May 31, 2021 at 4:02 am
Trauma is not the same as depression and one is not necessary the only cause of the other.
Sampath R
May 31, 2021 at 12:46 pm
To Dear SS,
You changed my life and bought hope to my world of life because you believed in a lot of values I too believed in the business arena and even personal life’s development. I thank God for taking SS to great hights. I hope and pray SS’s teaching and concepts are taught to the world more and more. Because as I know humanity is not amongst all I know in this day and age. Especially in the business world I come from example living abroad and working there. Now back at home I know there is lots of humanity still left. Sad our systems are so poorly built though.
Your speech now and also many many more speeches I have listened to are certainly praise worthy as always. Thank you again for showing how to get help when I’m in trouble. And I agree having a good friend or too helps so much.
Regards,
Sampath.
FoamingStuff Ye
May 31, 2021 at 1:17 pm
I actually think a bunch of those statements towards a depressed person are very risky; “You are not the same”, “I worry for you”. It sounds accusatory, and can be interpreted as such. “you are not the same – I miss old you.” It means “you have changed” which is usually negative. “I worry for you” means that person is a burden. Don’t forget, depressed people see the world very darkly and often they have severe image issues and self confidence issues as well, and so those statements can be a lot to deal with. People did this to me (those exact statements) and all it resulted was that I withdrew completely and utterly from them and the world. It was not a good way to approach me. Far be it from me to give corrections on a vid like this, but it should be taken into consideration that not everyone responds the same. Some people just need a bunch of space and the repeated words of welcoming and affection. Others need to cry on the phone together. And so on.
So, if someone does not wish to talk about it, you can’t force them, and dragging them into a conversation where they have little chance of “diversion” is just going to make them clam up. Rather, being understanding & open (“I hear you”, “That must really suck”, “It must be terrible to feel how you do”) & repeated words of welcoming (“You know you can always call me. Even in the middle of the night”, “you’re always welcome to come have a glass of wine” (bless my neighbours for this one), and letting people come to you at their own pace. Gentle nudging in activities, like “Do you want to go to the park with me? No? Okay, let me know if you change your mind”, and soft insistence (“Hey, so how about that coffee this weekend then? No worries if you’re not up for it, but I’d love to see you”)
Mohamed Idris
May 31, 2021 at 5:56 pm
Find your big why (purpose) thank you Simon
Mohamed Idris
May 31, 2021 at 5:58 pm
Your a great guy I download the video to watch it later
UxPea
May 31, 2021 at 10:37 pm
Millions of people are depressed around the world. Many people do not realize this. I think that people should definitely talk about it. This applies not only to adults, but also to teenagers. Adults involuntarily transmit their worries to them.
UxPea
May 31, 2021 at 10:42 pm
When I began to feel the depressive state of my family, I decided that I urgently needed to do something new and fantastic. I did this project for 7 months and it took my whole family, now I’m too shy to talk about it, because it’s cool and incredible.
G A D
June 1, 2021 at 7:17 am
How could u have depression being a beautiful Man and being suceded in life? And u seams bê a good person, are u mad?🤣
G A D
June 1, 2021 at 7:20 am
U Will think jus about job and… Ur life Will pass. Remenber that depression never exist… They are Spirits of lives beings fooded by ur medicine drugs and alcoohol drinks trying to enter ur body…. And If u don take Care they Will eat ALL of u all.
isabella hisamoto
June 1, 2021 at 12:11 pm
Thank u very much for that
Goolag Tube
June 1, 2021 at 12:54 pm
Because you are indoctrinated, leftist morons who can’t tell up from down, you will be ruled by tyrants who conveniently use the false notion of safety & political correctness to rule over you.
Just remember, YOU consented to tyranny because you refuse to engage in critical thinking – foolishly believing your “dear leaders” have your best interests at heart, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
“The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.” – H. L. Mencken
“The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants.” – Albert Camus
“The problem isn’t that Johnny can’t read. The problem isn’t even that Johnny can’t think. The problem is that Johnny doesn’t know what thinking is; he confuses it with feeling.” – Thomas Sowell
“One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship. The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power.” – George Orwell, 1984
“Socialism itself can hope to exist only for brief periods here and there, and then only through the exercise of the extremest terrorism. For this reason it is secretly preparing itself for rule through fear and is driving the word “justice” into the heads of the half-educated masses like a nail so as to rob them of their reason… and to create in them a good conscience for the evil game they are to play.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
“The press should be not only a collective propagandist and a collective agitator, but also a collective organizer of the masses.” – Vladimir Lenin
“We must be ready to employ trickery, deceit, law-breaking, withholding and concealing truth… We can and must write in a language which sows among the masses hate, revulsion, and scorn toward those who disagree with us.” – Vladimir Lenin
“So the final conclusion would surely be that whereas other civilizations have been brought down by attacks of barbarians from without, ours had the unique distinction of training its own destroyers at its own educational institutions, and then providing them with facilities for propagating their destructive ideology far and wide, all at the public expense. Thus did Western Man decide to abolish himself, creating his own boredom out of his own affluence, his own vulnerability out of his own strength, his own impotence out of his own erotomania, himself blowing the trumpet that brought the walls of his own city tumbling down, and having convinced himself that he was too numerous, labored with pill and scalpel and syringe to make himself fewer. Until at last, having educated himself into imbecility, and polluted and drugged himself into stupefaction, he keeled over–a weary, battered old brontosaurus–and became extinct.” – Malcolm Muggeridge
Universe Solicitors
June 1, 2021 at 4:26 pm
This is what we get emotionally attached with those freind who are as important as our family, so we have to respect for those relationships which are being around of us.. 💯
Sibu B
June 1, 2021 at 4:26 pm
This is something wonderful I heard in a long time. ❤
Arif A.
June 1, 2021 at 10:49 pm
Simon Sinek is the boss we never had
adg_rzon
June 2, 2021 at 5:10 am
Thank you for this. The one thing that I find hard though is identifying the friend whom I can share my thoughts.
Velio Alessandro Moretti
June 2, 2021 at 9:34 am
that is awesome! Asking our friends to articulate our why is so powerful to see ourselves and tap into our real potential!
Riyandi Badu
June 2, 2021 at 5:23 pm
I love how vulnerable the thumbnail 😂🙏
Carol Townsend
June 2, 2021 at 8:26 pm
Brilliant advice…..bless you
Denise Yang
June 3, 2021 at 3:09 am
Just the talk we all need to hear during Covid & in this time and age. Thank you for this!
Captn Berner
June 3, 2021 at 12:44 pm
“Leadership isn’t about being in-charge, it’s about taking care of those in our charge” Such powerful words and a awe inspiring statement.
How I wish many corporate CEO’s thought like this. The world would be a vastly better and different place.
Renan Quarterback 7
June 4, 2021 at 3:01 am
Just regular.
Joyce Hamann
June 4, 2021 at 4:57 pm
Clever man
gritsngranola
June 4, 2021 at 4:57 pm
Clever man
Travel Mavericks
June 4, 2021 at 5:20 pm
❤💙
Yuna Ko
June 5, 2021 at 10:08 am
Wow, thank you Simon. For you to come out and being vulnerable and open up that all people have their up and down regarding how popular they are.
Yuni Lee
June 5, 2021 at 10:08 am
Wow, thank you Simon. For you to come out and being vulnerable and open up that all people have their up and down regarding how popular they are.
lela maciolek
June 5, 2021 at 12:47 pm
I like Simon but I clicked on this because of that art behind him. Its wildly moving to me. Does anyone know who its by?
Bijaya Kumar Parida
June 5, 2021 at 3:25 pm
Oh man, what a guy !!??
Bijaya Parida
June 5, 2021 at 3:25 pm
Oh man, what a guy !!??
Joel Vilela
June 6, 2021 at 2:53 am
I have a curiosity, what mr. Simon Sinek thing about religion?
Ménestrel
June 6, 2021 at 3:49 pm
Thank you for this.
Eric Seine Mudda
June 8, 2021 at 10:55 am
No honestly. I mean imagine you invest time, energy, creativity, money into something, and then someone just copies it because they can and because it’s opportune to the state’s government and for some fucktards in Mountain View and if necessary even use violence to get what they want? What would you think about these people?
KayFlowidity
June 9, 2021 at 10:50 pm
2:25 I fell into these symptoms post military retirement after 20 yr career. Spiritual Awakening if you ask me. Got help and its a natural progression. Phenomenal growth since…
Jatin Bhat
June 10, 2021 at 1:28 pm
If one of friends calls me for help, how should I respond?
KC Casquejo
June 13, 2021 at 2:27 pm
amazing simon❣️❣️❣️
Knowledge Hub 360
June 14, 2021 at 3:26 pm
We have to invest in people when we are doing good 👍
White Fang
June 14, 2021 at 8:57 pm
Is there some other way we can find our why than doing the practice with friends…?
Amarjeet Bains
June 18, 2021 at 2:53 pm
I can listen to Simon forever!!! One of the most important talks ever given after the pandemic. ✌️ Thank u Simon.
Someone Someone
June 21, 2021 at 1:22 pm
I have never been able to find a motivating purpose in life.
Lechenaultia
July 1, 2021 at 7:49 pm
Gotta love these guys who, with no life or world experience, ser themselves up as gurus and make fortunes from the gullible
chong andie
July 3, 2021 at 3:50 pm
totally agree. i lost friends durig covid . i found some v precious friendship.
Dineo O'Brien
July 4, 2021 at 10:22 am
I was able to build a big income stream during the covid-19 pandemic investing with a professional broker,Mrs Elizabeth Graham, I have been making huge profits on my investments ever since i started trading with her, Mrs Elisabeth Graham’s trading strategies are top notch.
Wilson Frank
July 4, 2021 at 10:23 am
I invest with Mrs Elizabeth Graham too, she charges a 20%commission on profit made after every trading session which is fair compare to the effort she put in to make huge profits.
Rose Thompson
July 4, 2021 at 10:23 am
this is not the first time i am hearing of Mrs Elizabeth Graham and her exploits in the trading world but i have no idea how to reach her.
Nguyen Steve
July 4, 2021 at 10:24 am
As a first time investor I started trading with Mrs Elizabeth Graham with just a thousand bucks. my portfolio is worth much more that now within just weeks of trading with her.
Dineo O'Brien
July 4, 2021 at 10:24 am
@Rose Thompson You can reach her on telegram
Dineo O'Brien
July 4, 2021 at 10:24 am
@Rose Thompson Her username @invest_with_mrslizy