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Are Your Dealbreakers Sabotaging Your Love Life? | Amy Chan | TED

Relationship expert Amy Chan believes we’re in a “relationship recession,” fueled by modern daters constantly looking for what could go wrong. But what if your dealbreakers are the very thing keeping love out? In this relatable talk, she reveals how to discover true connection — and why the right person for you might not be…

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Relationship expert Amy Chan believes we’re in a “relationship recession,” fueled by modern daters constantly looking for what could go wrong. But what if your dealbreakers are the very thing keeping love out? In this relatable talk, she reveals how to discover true connection — and why the right person for you might not be who you expect.
(Recorded at TEDxVancouver on March 8, 2026)

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32 Comments

  1. @달러복사하는존버린치

    November 1, 2026 at 11:03 am

    뭐라하는지 들리지않아…😂

  2. @HamidGSHE

    November 1, 2026 at 11:04 am

    Congratulations 🎉 TED

  3. @hekatetrivia1727

    November 1, 2026 at 11:30 am

    The assumption that love is required to lead a happy, fulfilling, or productive life.

    • @MrRoberthafetz

      November 1, 2026 at 1:25 pm

      Human attachment is required and meaning

  4. @ccccccccul

    November 1, 2026 at 11:41 am

    They are learning guys, don’t let up now

  5. @thecynicalbrit-919

    November 1, 2026 at 11:42 am

    What Love Life? I can barely tell when someone is in to me. I am psychologically incapable to notice.

  6. @You-Decide-the-World

    November 1, 2026 at 12:06 pm

    Social media had influenced the dating life so much that it affected peoples unreal expectations in this generation. No one is looking for long term relationship anymore… It is really sad as depressing and everyone now is stuck on their own.

  7. @FickleTarts

    November 1, 2026 at 12:27 pm

    Nah Asian lady it’s the people around me that act like me so it doesn’t help fix how I am lol I’m sorry

  8. @mikebolton3816

    November 1, 2026 at 12:46 pm

    Main character syndrome…
    Thats the problem now.

    Men are done with the bs.

  9. @poetryflynn3712

    November 1, 2026 at 12:53 pm

    People are just learning class consciousness. They increasingly know now that your interests and health are directly tied to your social class, economic class, and future.

    Divorce rate used to be 50%. It’s declining exactly because people are being smart about it and actually waiting for marriage now.

    It’s fine.

    Dating apps aren’t even the problem. Universally people are using them less and less.

  10. @Apexbust

    November 1, 2026 at 1:02 pm

    Im not blaming women as a group for this, but……

    One was cheating on me, another lied about taking the pill and a third falsely accused me of being violent.

    I also got into a great relationship but it was not meant to be.

    I’m just at a place where I’m not sure if it’s worth it anymore.
    I would love more kids, but I’m so hesitant and if we broke up, the financial aspect would ruin me.

    I think I’ll prefer the peace and stay single.

  11. @InMediasRes_vo

    November 1, 2026 at 1:07 pm

    Weird. I don’t know anyone left of Obama who is having much trouble dating their preferred way. Granted there’s always wheat to sort. What are the rest of y’all doing though?

  12. @gojocono

    November 1, 2026 at 1:12 pm

    really well said. 8:30 was a lot of warmth and thank you for sharing the story of your father.

  13. @cristianleonardochaparroga6704

    November 1, 2026 at 1:41 pm

    When do you invite to AGRODESCENDIENTES

  14. @timothywilliams2887

    November 1, 2026 at 2:57 pm

    I tried online dating for 3 years. I got very little matches, and of those matches, almost none talked. I was turned down hundreds of times a day for 1,095 days. IRL it’s a completely different story. Also I find my best relationships have developed over time. I didn’t always know in the first few months.

  15. @agrey832

    November 1, 2026 at 3:00 pm

    Actually, my deal breakers *saved* my love life 🤔

  16. @Gaara5daime

    November 1, 2026 at 3:06 pm

    A lesson we all need to learn. 👏👏👏

  17. @TomNook.

    November 1, 2026 at 4:35 pm

    People are taught to never settle for less than perfection, that they’re goddesses etc

    • @gregevigan

      November 1, 2026 at 7:17 pm

      & gods

  18. @tomollie

    November 1, 2026 at 5:19 pm

    Literally the only requirement men have is the woman isn’t fat

  19. @doubleuenbeeeh

    November 1, 2026 at 5:28 pm

    Half of singles going on a date is a meaningless data point…you need to know who wanted to go on one

  20. @doubleuenbeeeh

    November 1, 2026 at 5:29 pm

    What a bizarre pronunciation of against

    • @gregevigan

      November 1, 2026 at 7:16 pm

      @doubleuenbeeeh no

  21. @oguretsagressive

    November 1, 2026 at 6:30 pm

    At last a decent talk! Amy, good job! 👍

  22. @gregevigan

    November 1, 2026 at 7:18 pm

    Huge leap that scanning for signs of danger has relevance in dating.

  23. @CaraDeese

    November 1, 2026 at 8:04 pm

    My husband and I share four beautiful years, married for 10 magical months. I’m a strong, confident woman, deeply in love, but his excessive flirting, especially since our vows, stings my heart. At his best friend’s child’s graduation, I saw him gently touch his friend’s wife’s arm and shower her with compliments like my girl and beautiful. That affection feels like it belongs to me, his wife. I’m frustrated, yet my love for him burns bright I can’t imagine life without him. My heart aches, missing him, longing for us. I share this because our love is worth fighting for, and I believe in its strength.

    • @CaraDeese

      November 1, 2026 at 8:06 pm

      Wow, that’s incredible! How did you find this mentor, and is there any way I can connect with him/her?

    • @LarrySmith-d2o

      November 1, 2026 at 8:07 pm

      her name is DAVID ELENA She’s a wonderful guide with a real gift for helping people navigate tough times and rebuild love.

    • @LarrySmith-d2o

      November 1, 2026 at 8:09 pm

      She is David Elena, She has great powers, she can help you.

    • @CaraDeese

      November 1, 2026 at 8:10 pm

      Thank you for sharing that. It means a lot and give some me so much hope.

  24. @Del-boys-mum

    November 1, 2026 at 8:28 pm

    Just talk to people, it’s not hard.

    That’s what’s wrong with people.

    Or…. listen to someone that literally just told you she’s selling you a subscription service.

    This is why TED talks aren’t viable education tools, it’s one directional.
    Seller to consumer.

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