Sex therapist Ian Kerner hears about a common problem from his patients: “failure to launch,” or the inability to build and maintain sexual momentum. What’s the solution? Whether you’re looking to reignite the spark in your relationship or reconnect with your own desire, Kerner shares advice on how to cultivate your erotic imagination and get back on the “arousal runway.” (Note: This talk contains mature content. In order to protect patient privacy, the speaker has combined or adjusted several patients’ experiences.)
Visit to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more.
The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design — plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. You’re welcome to link to or embed these videos, forward them to others and share these ideas with people you know.
Become a TED Member:
Follow TED on Twitter:
Like TED on Facebook:
Subscribe to our channel:
TED’s videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy (). For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at
NavyN
March 15, 2022 at 3:03 pm
1st
Scott Henrie
March 15, 2022 at 3:07 pm
YouTube shows _“Translate to English”_ below your comment! 🤣
M
March 15, 2022 at 3:22 pm
This is the only video content where coming first isn’t a good thing.
Wagwanbennydj
March 15, 2022 at 3:04 pm
I still have my tooth ache 🙁
Mr King
March 15, 2022 at 3:04 pm
Everyone in comment im 1st
Scott Henrie
March 15, 2022 at 3:08 pm
Someone else was first, and they beat you by 2 minutes.
WAT'SAP ✚➊➒⓿➌➐⓿➑➎⓿➐➋
March 16, 2022 at 1:33 pm
Tell Thomas I recommended you for something new in Crypto investment
Aram Sardarian
March 15, 2022 at 3:05 pm
I am traveler
Scott Henrie
March 15, 2022 at 3:06 pm
Dopamine is necessary for sexual gratification, and countless other benefits. Magnesium is needed to make neurotransmitters including dopamine, *there’s less magnesium in food from developed countries!* Soft drinks have high levels of phosphates which prevents the absorption of magnesium. Magnesium is depleted from stress, sugar, caffeine, medicine, for ADHD and alcohol.
Samuel Drake
March 15, 2022 at 3:15 pm
@ho ho There are Mg(Magnesium) pills you could take to help with that.
Scott Henrie
March 15, 2022 at 4:03 pm
@Samuel Drake yes, but avoid magnesium oxide because it’s the*least absorbed* form of magnesium. I’ve even seen a protein shake with magnesium phosphate in it, which means you’re not getting either one. Just like how the phosphates in soft drinks bind with magnesium preventing its absorption.
Scott Henrie
March 15, 2022 at 4:06 pm
@ho ho magnesium malate is the easiest to absorb of all types of magnesium. The magnesium L-threonate is best for anxiety and coincides with improved cognitive function because it’s the most readily to cross the blood brain barrier.
Scott Henrie
March 15, 2022 at 4:09 pm
@ho ho I wish we could post links, do a search for “magnesium fact sheet for health professionals” to find the webpage on the NIH website.
ho ho
March 15, 2022 at 5:30 pm
@Scott Henrie will do, thanks!
Sigzy 86
March 15, 2022 at 3:10 pm
Good Talk!
WAT'SAP ✚➊➒⓿➌➐⓿➑➎⓿➐➋
March 16, 2022 at 1:31 pm
Text Max Thomas tell him I referred you for something new in Crypto
Quincy Jones
March 15, 2022 at 3:21 pm
This was so organized!! One of the best.
Staccato
March 15, 2022 at 3:38 pm
I will cry alone tonight…(´・ω・｀)
Mikael
March 15, 2022 at 3:39 pm
Am I the only one who read “spank” instead of “spark” in the title?
Muse Inglis
March 15, 2022 at 3:45 pm
Oh, brother!
All you need is a strap-on, a blonde wig and lots of leather & latex!
That usually does the trick! 😉
🤪
Les Petits
March 15, 2022 at 10:23 pm
Boring
Terrible truthBeautiful lies
March 15, 2022 at 3:53 pm
This joker knows sweet FA ..two pumps and a squirt and he’s finished 🤔😲😂🤣✨
Tyler Loconte
March 15, 2022 at 4:02 pm
This is incredible.
Phatxual
March 15, 2022 at 4:33 pm
How is fantasizing about someone besides the one you’re with, in that moment, healthy though? Lol I get the fantasies can be your friend, but they can also be your enemy just as easily..
Be careful what you wish for.
Debra Chambers
March 15, 2022 at 5:57 pm
@Phatxual But what’s wrong with it?
“Some people didn’t sign up to be in a polygamous relationship” you’re not making it polygamous by fantasizing
Debra Chambers
March 15, 2022 at 6:07 pm
@Phatxual Looking back at the original comment- it seems like you were just saying it’s not good to fantasize about others while doing stuff with your partner
Phatxual
March 15, 2022 at 6:08 pm
@Debra Chambers Again, it isn’t entirely wrong. It’s how one goes about it.
If you’re sitting there fantasizing about an entirely different partner, whilst trying to freshen up moves in the bedroom with the partner you’re currently with; that, to me, says you’re settling and wish you could be somewhere else. And that isn’t okay, nor healthy
The ‘polygamous’ part 1. wasn’t in reference to you, and 2. wasn’t meant literally
Debra Chambers
March 15, 2022 at 6:13 pm
@Phatxual As long as it’s not the only way you can get aroused you’re probably fine
Phatxual
March 15, 2022 at 6:30 pm
@Debra Chambers That too!
Idk, just putting myself in that situation, I have a hard time sexually fantasizing about anything besides what I want to do to my one faithful woman, and therefore my standard is the same.
Others may have different demands and expectations, and that’s totally fair! I just don’t believe that bit of what was in the video is entirely true. Though I agree it’s unhealthy not to fantasize about things
LittleRedRidingElse
March 16, 2022 at 6:31 am
How is it unhealthy? And idk about being obligated to tell your partner… nobody is entitled to my thoughts.
Alfred van Kuik
March 16, 2022 at 10:15 am
@Phatxual Most people agree on monogamy because it is what is considered normal. We don’t really think about why we do it. We are taught that it is wrong by the entirety of society and people who aren’t monogamous are treated as weird and slutty. That we agree upon monogamy does not change our nature and does not change what goes on in your brain. I think it is very healthy to accept from both sides that both parties will be attracted to and fantasize about other people (doesn’t matter to me if it’s a celebrity or the neighbour) and that there’s nothing wrong with that. Unfaithfulness is actually cheating. Thought crimes aren’t crimes, or everyone would be in jail.
There’s no particular pride in it. I don’t take pride in going to the toilet or thinking about what I’m gonna eat today. It’s just normal human behaviour. I believe feeling shame about such things is a large part of what makes and keeps a lot of people sexually repressed and unhappy.
🇬█ 𝔎𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑚 𝔎alisari│
March 15, 2022 at 4:43 pm
Thank you, admin.
Thanks for your tolerance with me🤔.
O admin. I don’t know why?
🤔
I think… Only you
are one person who understands me on the🌎INTERNET🌍🌏!.
🤔
Thank you, admin.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
And may God’s peace be upon you.
🤔
We love you.
😊😊
.
My Email
March 15, 2022 at 5:33 pm
You were never married to my Ex wife..good luck…
Recks Bayne
March 15, 2022 at 5:50 pm
you say follow your fantasies, but what if the person’s fantasy is unethical or unhealthy?
K
March 15, 2022 at 7:20 pm
he also said there is a line between thought and action: not every fantasy exists to be fulfilled in the literal sense.
Kristan Wifler
March 15, 2022 at 10:10 pm
People can do what they want, but I feel that maybe they shouldn’t do the act if they have to make up some elaborate fantasy just to get going.?
🇬█ 𝔎𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑚 𝔎alisari│
March 15, 2022 at 5:58 pm
All of us share this world for but a brief moment in time.
The question is
whether we spend that time focused on what pushes us apart?
or whether we commit ourselves to an effort — a sustained effort — to find
common ground,
to focus on the future we seek for our children, and to
respect the dignity of all human beings?
It’s easier to START wars than to END them.
It’s easier to BLAME others
than to LOOK inward.
It’s easier to see what is DIFFERENT about someone
than to find the THINGS we share.
But we should choose the right path,
not just the easy path. There’s one rule that lies at the heart of every religion — that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us.
This truth transcends nations and peoples — a belief that
isn’t new;
that isn’t black or white or brown;
that isn’t Christian or Muslim
or Jew.
It’s a belief that pulsed in the cradle of civilization, and that still beats in the hearts of billions around the world.
It’s a faith in other people, and it’s what BROUGHT me HERE today | TED!.
Thank you.
###
.
mykenmoon
March 15, 2022 at 7:25 pm
hello. read after me. we get old.
TheActualCanadian
March 15, 2022 at 9:18 pm
Misread the title. Thought it was about rediscovering your spank.
WAT'SAP ✚➊➒⓿➌➐⓿➑➎⓿➐➋
March 16, 2022 at 12:52 pm
Thanks for commenting/
Kristan Wifler
March 15, 2022 at 10:16 pm
I can’t relate. I’m an asocial aromantic hypersexual. I wish you all the best of luck finding your grooves. 😇
The Ajdam
March 16, 2022 at 6:57 am
Why are you here?
Kristan Wifler
March 16, 2022 at 7:04 am
@The Ajdam I like to learn stuff.
Brad Ramey
March 15, 2022 at 11:07 pm
Oh baby I like it when you pay me a fair living wage
Piyush
March 16, 2022 at 2:34 am
9:49-10:31
manfred schmalbach
March 16, 2022 at 11:30 am
The “runway”-picture was nice. Problem is, though, many many partners do not want to fly. At least not (anymore) together. Even less so after 2 years together, caged. Before we address THIS part of the problem, the blame games, the entitlements, the lack of humor and the particular lack of humor _together_ , nobody will have any possibility to help their partner a bit with that nice runway-idea.
Paul Jack Vasilyev
March 16, 2022 at 10:54 pm
I’m really happy for today 😉😉. I finally got my profit of $330,000 on my crypto investment after feeling so ecstatic and heavy minded that nothing good can come out of it…a big thanks to Dmitry Goldin . I learned a lot about buying when there is fear in the market . I use to get shaken out and panic sell but now I buy more when I see the low prices.