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A Parent’s Guide to Raising Kids After Loss | Andy Laats | TED

Andy Laats had the textbook fairytale family setup … a great job, a happy marriage, three wonderful kids and everything going for them. Until one day, they didn’t anymore. In this tender, wise and unexpectedly funny talk, Laats describes the profound lessons he’s learned over the years as a father, offering insights that will resonate…

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Andy Laats had the textbook fairytale family setup … a great job, a happy marriage, three wonderful kids and everything going for them. Until one day, they didn’t anymore. In this tender, wise and unexpectedly funny talk, Laats describes the profound lessons he’s learned over the years as a father, offering insights that will resonate with anyone who’s ever had any kind of family. (Recorded at TED2025 on April 10, 2025)

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32 Comments

32 Comments

  1. @Chambersofcare502

    June 15, 2025 at 11:06 am

    My mother died from ovarian cancer. They gave her three years to live and she died in exactly 3 years. Only reason we found out is because she had a baby which is my last brother, but the cancer has spread so far and it was too late. thanks for this talk

  2. @sooma-ai

    June 15, 2025 at 11:10 am

    Andy Laats shares his journey as a single father after losing his wife to cancer, discussing the challenges of parenting alone and the profound connections he discovered with his children beyond routine caregiving.

  3. @TrườngTranvan-t4i

    June 15, 2025 at 11:13 am

    *Anyone in 2350?* 💖

  4. @RandomYTbbber

    June 15, 2025 at 12:03 pm

    I was widowed twice by age 32. First time was a car accident, the second a brain tumour. He died 5 months after diagnosis and afterwards I was broken. I had two young daughters, the youngest was 3 years old and the only way she could show grief was through anger.
    I was clinging on to my sanity, I was at the point of a mental breakdown, and my mind decided to emotionally shut down . I know that this can happen as a form of protection, because the mind knows you are unable to cope with the situation but it was such a strange experience. People often say they don’t have feelings but this was very different. I literally felt nothing, not sadness, anger, happiness just nothing. I couldn’t remember much about the past five months but subconsciously must have known how fragile I was. For almost two years I couldn’t let anyone touch me at all, not even casually put their hand on my arm, sit close to me, I couldn’t even hug my kids. I knew that the slightest contact would have been the unraveling of what I was holding together.
    It’s been 10 years now, life has moved on but I will always feel so guilty about those two years that I couldn’t hug my kids when they needed hugs the most.
    Don’t get me wrong I didn’t shut them out, I functioned the same as I always had, like nothing had happened but I should have been able to put my feelings to one side and have been stronger for them.

    • @Drlighte24

      June 15, 2025 at 8:55 pm

      Don’t blame yourself, you were also trying to survive, sorry for your loss and I’m sure your kids are happy to have you

    • @RandomYTbbber

      June 15, 2025 at 9:45 pm

      @@Drlighte24Thank you so much for your kind words. It took me two years to get some sort of normality back, well a new normality, I wasn’t the same person afterwards but after two years of what I can only describe as insanity some of which I can laugh about now (honestly crazy from digging up a grave, being locked in a cemetery overnight, to spending my time cleaning a headstone daily and sitting by a grave in the middle of the night) it was just like one day I woke up and decided that I would never move on if I continued to live in the past, and that is exactly what I done.
      I know how awful this will sound but since that day 10 years ago I have never been back to that graveside. I have never dealt with my grief either, I locked it all away deep in my mind and don’t really think about it. I built a secure family bubble for me and my daughters, I decided to remain single. They had been through enough, I didn’t want to bring a strange man into their home and I haven’t. This has been our safe stable place ever since and we have a really close relationship. They are grown up now and are really decent well adjusted smart young women, I don’t know how I managed it.
      I was 18 when I had my first baby, so I’m still quite young and have met someone now, he is the first guy I have ever had in my home, life is pretty good now 🥰

  5. @Chhavz2398

    June 15, 2025 at 12:07 pm

    💗

  6. @DY2784

    June 15, 2025 at 12:13 pm

    💙💙💙🙏🙏🙏

  7. @JES8SHRNDZzz

    June 15, 2025 at 12:23 pm

    Im sorry for your loss

  8. @MaroonmeisteR

    June 15, 2025 at 2:00 pm

    Incredible. You’ve done a great job.

  9. @Cognitive-Loon

    June 15, 2025 at 2:24 pm

    ❤‍🩹

  10. @Hyunjiamusic

    June 15, 2025 at 3:02 pm

    This was a beautiful talk, thank you.

  11. @IndrajeetBhue

    June 15, 2025 at 3:05 pm

    i kept seeing people talk about this book The Cancelled Laws of Reality by Selene Veritas, but when i tried to find it, it was nearly impossible. took me days to track it down, but once i read it, i got why. the stuff in here isn’t just theory—it actually works. made a few small changes, and opportunities started showing up like clockwork. if you can get your hands on it, don’t hesitate.

  12. @SanjayDas-hu7kj

    June 15, 2025 at 3:26 pm

    i thought i had read every manifestation book out there, but The Cancelled Laws of Reality by Selene Veritas hits different. it’s damn near impossible to find, but after reading it, i see why. it doesn’t just talk about manifesting, it explains how to shift energy in a way that actually works. took me forever to track it down, but it was worth every second

  13. @navitamodi

    June 15, 2025 at 3:26 pm

    i kept seeing people talk about this book The Cancelled Laws of Reality by Selene Veritas, but when i tried to find it, it was nearly impossible. took me days to track it down, but once i read it, i got why. the stuff in here isn’t just theory—it actually works. made a few small changes, and opportunities started showing up like clockwork. if you can get your hands on it, don’t hesitate.

  14. @ajaybhilawekarajaybhilawek9946

    June 15, 2025 at 3:26 pm

    spent way too long searching for The Cancelled Laws of Reality by Selene Veritas, and now i know why it keeps disappearing. this isn’t some basic “think positive” book—it actually explains why some people attract everything while others stay stuck. applied just one thing from it, and my results changed fast. if you can find it, don’t sleep on it.

  15. @anshusharma1234-y2w

    June 15, 2025 at 3:35 pm

    i thought i had read every manifestation book out there, but The Cancelled Laws of Reality by Selene Veritas hits different. it’s damn near impossible to find, but after reading it, i see why. it doesn’t just talk about manifesting, it explains how to shift energy in a way that actually works. took me forever to track it down, but it was worth every second

  16. @RajuPal-me4hp

    June 15, 2025 at 3:35 pm

    ever notice how some books just disappear? The Cancelled Laws of Reality by Selene Veritas isn’t easy to find, and now i understand why. the things it reveals about energy and attraction? insane. i thought i was just “unlucky” until i applied what it teaches. within weeks, my finances flipped, and i stopped chasing things—now they come to me

  17. @AsimDas-w8i

    June 15, 2025 at 3:47 pm

    I am at the beginning of my “investment journey”, planning to put 250K into dividend stocks so that I will be making up to 30% annually in dividend returns. any good stock recommendation on great performing stocks will be appreciated…

    • @LaurenBaken

      June 15, 2025 at 3:48 pm

      I usually go with registered representative; Andras Bohm, he provides, daily entry signals, insights and a more grounded approach, looking at factors like market demand, regulatory changes, and adoption trends. This approach enable to make informed decisions rather than solely relying on emotional market dynamics.

    • @DomiGerrad

      June 15, 2025 at 3:48 pm

      I earned $2.5m in Bitcoin and now I’m buying more Bitcoin and gradually increasing my investments. A good financial advisor like Andras Bohm will contribute to your success both in cryptocurrency and stock market..

    • @LaurenBaken

      June 15, 2025 at 3:48 pm

      Since i ventured into trading with him it has really transformed my life imagine investing $50,000 within some couple of weeks it increased to $696,800 it might not be a fortune, but this is a significant improvement.

    • @DomiGerrad

      June 15, 2025 at 3:48 pm

      Andras Bohm has made an incredible impact on the trading community. His guidance and expertise have helped countless individuals achieve their financial goals and his contributions have set a new standard for excellence in the industry. We’re truly grateful for his dedication and hard work, and I’m sure his legacy will continue to inspire others for years to come.

    • @AsimDas-w8i

      June 15, 2025 at 3:48 pm

      how would you suggest i enter the crypto market? I am also looking at studying pro traders and using their strategy than investing myself. what’s your take on this? How can i reach him please?

  18. @kaibukacek7631

    June 15, 2025 at 7:18 pm

    Lost my mother at 8 in 2008 from anti depressant overdose, and just lost my stepmom last year from suicide. This video definitely helps me appreciate my father and all he’s the work he put in to connect with me.

  19. @robsutherland4261

    June 16, 2025 at 2:19 am

    Lovely photo of the kids jumping and the look on mum’s face. I went through a similar experience also with two girls and boy. It will be seven years ago in December and although we function, we’re still all broken and any event (birthday, Xmas, etc.), is still very painful.

    Terrible thing grief.

  20. @liri14

    June 16, 2025 at 2:52 am

    We need more dads talking like this about parenting. Women are traditionally the ones doing emotional labour; many of them are also now out there being breadwinners, but it’s still so rare to see men who can do both.

    • @singleflow

      June 17, 2025 at 4:21 pm

      Yeah aren’t us men the worst? If only they could understand that mothers are the only ones who offer emotional support and guidance.

      Maybe you don’t see it. But your comment diminished the role of every father. I’ve always been an emotional anchor for my children, even more now that we lost their mother. But every good father I know is there emotionally for their children.

  21. @tabiandro

    June 16, 2025 at 6:46 am

    The narrative lost me when he discovered that the upkeep and care of an entire family’s emotional and physical well being is more difficult than being in charge of the tire air pressure for the van.

  22. @Gheangel-Quinn

    June 16, 2025 at 7:43 am

    ջ words: Vitamin B17

  23. @sultanail4775

    June 16, 2025 at 12:10 pm

    The episode was between emotional and laughter you will be grateful dad

  24. @juligudehus5283

    June 16, 2025 at 5:27 pm

    ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Thank you!!!

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