Regret is one of our most powerful emotions — and also one of the most misunderstood. Over the past two years, author Daniel H. Pink has collected a trove of more than 16,000 regrets from people in 105 countries in an effort to better understand this mysterious emotion. He shares the key patterns that emerged (it all boils down to the same four core regrets, he says) and explains how to transform your own regrets in order to create the life you’ve always wanted to live. (This talk and conversation, hosted by TED current affairs curator Whitney Pennington Rodgers, was part of an exclusive TED Membership event. Visit ted.com/membership to become a TED Member.)
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VAIDAP
March 14, 2022 at 8:35 pm
My biggest regret is not having realized what my regrets were sooner. The wisdom of knowing that time is finite comes too late in life, it does run out.
Mary Ragouzis
March 14, 2022 at 8:36 pm
Great important topic. Thanks for learning and sharing this information. 👍
No name
March 14, 2022 at 8:45 pm
Oh, i know this guy, he is from Weezer
Luis Benitez
March 14, 2022 at 8:52 pm
the guy from weezer teaching regret
Chris Bradshaw
March 14, 2022 at 9:39 pm
Take your car to work, I’ll take my board
Nayt FB
March 14, 2022 at 9:55 pm
I can already tell this video is going to be super underrated
CallAmburlamps
March 14, 2022 at 10:11 pm
clicked because i thought bob saget was in the thumbnail
Asad Khan
March 14, 2022 at 10:12 pm
I regret not being brave enough in high school to beat my depression and go to medical school. I feel like I betrayed myself. I hate myself at times and can’t forgive myself at all. I’m now 26 and I don’t know if going to med school now is possible. I used to be so hopeful for my future and now I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I saw lots of people casually get along with their studies and many of them who were less academic than me ended up getting into medical universities. It kills me on the inside and I don’t have any way of coping with it. I did a degree but I’m just not passionate about what I do. I regret so much. It’s so painful.
Aura Fae
March 14, 2022 at 10:36 pm
I can relate a lot to what you said. The best advice I can give you is to stop beating yourself up about what could have been and stop comparing yourself to other people. In the end it won’t matter how old you were when you got there, the only thing that will matter is whether you actually got there. Not saying it will be easy, but if it is what you want, then it is worth fighting for, no matter your age. Go get your medical degree and save some lives. 💚
Diana Dee Jarvis
March 14, 2022 at 10:48 pm
FWIW there are people who entered med school when they were twice your age and made it through.
lsu2Yj
March 14, 2022 at 10:52 pm
Treating depression should be the number one priority, so you did the right thing. It means you chose to listen to yourself. You chose the braver option of facing your depression rather than ignoring your body’s needs. That’s amazing and your courage is truly admirable.
MehGamer
March 14, 2022 at 10:52 pm
@Diana Dee Jarvis this. I went to school with someone 40 who was taking his GEDs for med school. It’s never too late. Just may be more work
Wisdom for Life
March 14, 2022 at 10:58 pm
Even 28 isn’t late. Go for what you want so you don’t have more regrets tomorrow for not atleast trying when it was still possible
Mr. C
March 14, 2022 at 10:13 pm
Does any other life form/species experience regret? What does that tell us?
Mr. C
March 14, 2022 at 10:14 pm
Regret coupled with imagination is a nightmare.
Mr. C
March 14, 2022 at 10:16 pm
Blame it all on the desires/demands of mind and body. Not your fault…
truss508
March 14, 2022 at 10:33 pm
Is it just me or does this guy with the glasses and dark hair look like a younger clone of Bob Saget?! There’s no way I can be the only one that thinks that!
Maniac Fox
March 14, 2022 at 10:36 pm
I regret the camera that keeps zooming in and out, it’s doing my head in. Sorry I can’t watch the rest of the video.
Juan Acosta
March 14, 2022 at 10:38 pm
Regrets are a Frontier with the future
imjonlacey
March 14, 2022 at 10:48 pm
Super super good info
truss508
March 14, 2022 at 10:50 pm
Hey! Stop the interview!
This isn’t Bob Saget!
Bob Saget died in a hotel room months ago!
This man is an imposter!
Lmao 🤣🤣🤣🤣 jk jk
Wisdom for Life
March 14, 2022 at 10:52 pm
Suffered same thing as Lily. Regrets that though. Was shy, timid and didn’t get to grab ok the funs of childhood. Now, I chose to be part of things and no longer exclude myself. Grab every fun of the moment that I can. Be in the fun
lsu2Yj
March 14, 2022 at 11:00 pm
I regret drifting away from my friend. But I don’t want to reach out because I don’t like texting. Or talking on the phone. Maintaining friendships feels exhausting. Texting, phone calling, hanging out, it all feels like so much work. I love solitude too much.
Jorge Berny
March 14, 2022 at 11:38 pm
The Weezer frontman has many talents
HumNYC
March 15, 2022 at 12:03 am
Love and appreciate this. Definitely have big Foundation and Bold regrets. The others minor ones. The Foundation regret drove me to be part of the Great Resignation to take a break and start my own thing, but pretty discouraged and on the cusp now if I don’t take action on the Bold regrets it’ll be even bigger regret (aka return to a regular job without really giving myself a chance to make a go on my own). Maybe this is the message I needed to hear. Thank you.
sean doherty
March 15, 2022 at 12:14 am
I think you should keep in mind while watching this video is that our intuitions often have a reason for being: so if you feel too shy to talk, maybe you had a bad experience at a young age where you opened up. Maybe you could be easily abused by someone and you have a funny feeling about them: often times your intuition is important to keep in mind, it is trying to help and protect you. Though a critique on this view of mine would be that its almost always better to take the bolder choice (overcoming fear to achieve your dreams as he mentioned)
Not Again
March 15, 2022 at 12:37 am
How did this get 10 k views in less than 6 hours??? I watched loads of ted talks and many of them are years old but some dont even have 5k views while being great. Lets make this go viral haha
jcudal32
March 15, 2022 at 1:11 am
I regret making this comment.
jane doe
March 15, 2022 at 1:15 am
I regret making decisions based on FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real
Lerros
March 15, 2022 at 1:23 am
This is what i looking for!!, Thank you
billyjoejimbob75
March 15, 2022 at 7:34 am
So when ‘someone’ settles out of court but puts a little stipulation in the agreement that they don’t admit any wrongdoing, which do they fall under? Brain damage or sociopath?
Albert Einstein
March 15, 2022 at 7:39 am
Thank you, sir. 2027, i will graduate Master and apply for PhD scholarship!
Zain Abdin
March 15, 2022 at 8:04 am
We need more series or episodes like this where a professional answers queries of people. It was very helpful and my understanding became more clear when he goes step by step into resolving the regret.😍
Pro Veritate
March 15, 2022 at 8:36 am
When we want to make a decision, and we ponder, it might be essential to get an objective view from someone that knows us. As a single unit, it’s so easy to be influenced by our emotions or upbringing, or applying rules and regulations that we were brought up in. Most times we don’t know ourselves. Or we want to live up to other people’s standards except what will suit us !
Râj Shekhar
March 15, 2022 at 10:38 am
This man is explaining the concept of making “3 IDIOTS” movie 😅😂 but What i can see around me is no one really understood it yet or they don’t want to because that don’t think they met the requirements or something i don’t know either 😅 but my guess is about someone will joke of me, what if nothing is there after it for me, i got no money, etc. all these excuses are still there but not the idea to overcome!
please help me with this 🥺😓
I’m stuck in here like this I want to overcome too..
Chris Namaste
March 15, 2022 at 11:15 am
Types of Regrets
1) Foundational if only I had done the work / preparation / maintenance
2) Boldness Regrets if only I had taken a chance / acted
3} Moral Regrets if only I had done the right thing / good things
4) Connection Regrets
Human Needs
Stability
Chance to take meaningful risks
Want to Do The Right Thing
We want meaningful connection (Greek loves: eros, agape,
Action Regrets vs
Inaction Regrets
What would you tell your best friend to do?
Regret (agency / responsibility) vs Disappointment (no agency / not fault)
Stephan S.
March 15, 2022 at 11:19 am
I regret having regrets without taking action
Awakn
March 15, 2022 at 11:36 am
Everyone need to see this
Diana Deane
March 15, 2022 at 12:11 pm
I think Lily just DID speak up- joining you in this presentation. Maybe noticing she DID speak up and she connected with a billion people in doing so…
Harry Pearle
March 15, 2022 at 1:04 pm
DISABILITY ADMISSION (Boldness) Regrets?
We can admit that just was we have abilities, we have disabilities, too.
Why not admit to some disabilities, such as verbal or analytical disabilities.
Perhaps we can see how PUTIN and TRUMP have EMOTIONAL and LOGICAL disabilities.. thanks!
Harry Pearle
March 15, 2022 at 1:05 pm
Thanks so much, Dan. I am reading the book, now.
I would add something about disabilities and weakness ADMISSION regreats
Harry Pearle
March 15, 2022 at 7:48 pm
Again, this REGRET idea is super!
Mattia Zoffoli
March 15, 2022 at 1:30 pm
I think the whole concept of regret is wrong, because it is the act of mourning over lost possibilities that will never happen again. Instead, wouldn’t it be better to think about mistakes in the past and take steps to avoid them in the future?
Fliegertyp83
March 15, 2022 at 2:15 pm
at one point he is saying it is not a good idea to just turn your regrets off (which makes totally sense as the magic happens once you reflect about your regrets and listen to what this reflection will tell you – which he is even mentioning as well) but at the end he’s doing two things: 1) He is telling Lily what her positive outcome might be (but to help Lily it should be up to herself, she will be aware once she is ready) 2) he is literally telling her “so, next time you get a chance, speak up” … which is 100% “okay here are your regrets, switch them off” and that is dangerous somehow. I liked the first part tho, it made me think about myself and it made me laugh
양지원
March 15, 2022 at 2:33 pm
I want to ask people who watched this video
Therefore the topic of this video is
“ do not hesitate to talk about your regret and lf you have some concern about talking regret
think what will happen after long years ..
think carefully and talk !! “
Is it right ?? I think the total topic is
Talking out my regret of my past is good to me so speak out and do not hesitate ..many people in the world have many regret
*** i am studying english by watching TED
If l have some error
Would you tell me what it is ??
Amina Bouyahia
March 15, 2022 at 3:08 pm
I love how you talked about such a complicated thing as regrets in a simple,clear and most of all human way. I love how you reacted to Lilly’s story and how you helped her to see clearly through her own experience. This was very interesting and most of all I enjoyed it. BRAVO! THANKS FOR SHARING . I wish Lilly all the best 🙂
Blake Beaton
March 15, 2022 at 4:56 pm
I wonder if there could be research on circumstances under which people do NOT regret these very same circumstances? Are there things that will cause us to forego regret for each of these categories? E.g., there was a huge fight so I don’t regret the separation; there was a moral injustice so I don’t regret a moral breach that I would otherwise have regretted.
I’m also curious how regret was mad into a metric. Was it a Likert scale? How do I know if I have regret?
I regret not regretting more.
Marc Collins
March 15, 2022 at 5:29 pm
Love this!
Zico7878
March 15, 2022 at 6:19 pm
Bob Saget is that you?
rapho
March 15, 2022 at 6:32 pm
Regret ends with acceptance.
Frank Sinatra: ‘Regrets, I had a few, but then again, too few to mention…I did it myyyyy waaay!’
Jaron Stevenson
March 15, 2022 at 7:14 pm
He looks like Rivers Cuomo
K
March 15, 2022 at 7:33 pm
My only regret is that I have boneitis.
jaankaaree shortz
March 15, 2022 at 8:33 pm
Very nice
Joanna Rusher
March 15, 2022 at 10:29 pm
My theory on this is that you should not regret anything and here’s why. Because no matter what choice you make, at any given time, you can not possibly know what would have happened if you had made a different choice. For example, you regret that you left school early. Ok, so then you stayed at school and the very next day, fell down the stairs, broke your neck etc. Think about it, every time you make a decision you leave the other decision open to regret. Having regrets can make you miserable, and so there’s only learning really. There is no possible way, to do everything ‘right’ in a life. Life is complex, complicated and regrets are a construct that we can change, into reflection and stories.
Joanna Rusher
March 15, 2022 at 10:40 pm
Reminds me of this quote from Soren Kierkegaard “Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world’s foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world’s foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don’t hang yourself, you’ll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both. This, gentlemen, is the essence of all philosophy.”
Lots of Love Ariya
March 15, 2022 at 10:46 pm
This video came at the perfect time – here I am living all four regrets 😂
Ausf
March 16, 2022 at 12:44 am
Even if you’re a sociopath, or don’t have any of the four core regrets you listed, you can still see how you could have made different choices that would likely have created a better outcome. I’m not hung up on any of them, but I can definitely see choices I made, where I didn’t realize the consequences at the time, could have played out differently.
jaankaaree shortz
March 16, 2022 at 7:25 am
I’m regret for missing opportunity
I’m regret for don’t speak
I’m regret my all past 😪
5 Star Vids
March 16, 2022 at 7:45 am
What surprise another bloody bookshelf Jesus christ !
AW C
March 16, 2022 at 11:50 pm
Regrets are the embodiment of selfishness… something did not work out the way I wanted or the way I expected… and I cannot live with my decision. Me me me me
Didn’t he begin this piece with the statement that everyone has regrets. So, if we had done things differently and not regretted the things we now regret… we would regret a whole set of different things and life would be exactly the same. I believe the saying is… everywhere you go, there you are.
SUMIT BHOI
March 17, 2022 at 2:37 pm
Wooo