What if the secret to a happy relationship isn’t following the rules, but rewriting them? In this refreshing talk, couples therapist Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile explores why letting go of traditional societal expectations of romantic relationships — like sharing the same routines or even, in some cases, living together — can help couples embrace their individuality, reduce conflict and build stronger, more fulfilling connections. (Recorded at TEDNext 2024 on October 23, 2024)
If you love watching TED Talks like this one, become a TED Member to support our mission of spreading ideas:
Follow TED!
X:
Instagram:
Facebook:
LinkedIn:
TikTok:
The TED Talks channel features talks, performances and original series from the world’s leading thinkers and doers. Subscribe to our channel for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design — plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more.
Watch more:
TED’s videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy: . For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at
#TED #TEDTalks #relationship
@sooma-ai
December 2, 2024 at 7:11 am
Couples therapist Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile challenges traditional relationship expectations, encouraging couples to embrace individuality and create unique dynamics that work for them, rather than adhering to societal norms. She emphasizes that deviating from conventional practices can lead to stronger, more fulfilling connections.
@Hawk259
December 2, 2024 at 7:12 am
Brilliant!! More from her, please!!!
@oletramekaf5603
December 2, 2024 at 8:21 am
I second this!
@rridafitness2340
December 2, 2024 at 7:25 am
🔥🌿✋🏽✋
@k_rimi3.455
December 2, 2024 at 7:30 am
Nowadays relationships have become a product to consume
@oletramekaf5603
December 2, 2024 at 8:21 am
How come?
@_---__
December 2, 2024 at 7:36 am
I like her topic, but her example of a couple living together after three months is obvious. I would recommend adjusting expectations for marriage.
@CosterMugwagwa
December 2, 2024 at 7:41 am
Love this man❤
@oletramekaf5603
December 2, 2024 at 8:22 am
You forgot a comma after “this”.
@ayodelemartinsabiwo9963
December 2, 2024 at 8:43 am
@@oletramekaf5603😂😂😂 actually
@timd2739
December 2, 2024 at 7:53 am
I love ted bundy too i think everyone does thats why trump is president right becouse of our love for ted ted bundy
@NehaJoyfulJourney
December 2, 2024 at 8:06 am
❤
@naut_nigel
December 2, 2024 at 8:15 am
I love Steph Anya!! Her channel is great
@sigitpram3686
December 2, 2024 at 9:13 am
Stup
@TheGadecka
December 2, 2024 at 11:15 am
the irony is the fact that she is a black woman
@DianaCoffman-ln5qk
December 2, 2024 at 11:28 am
AMAZING!!!!! Happy to watch it
@abdallaashrif6589
December 2, 2024 at 12:21 pm
Bullsht talk
@blesskeekee-fy1om
December 3, 2024 at 7:45 am
Ur a million percent right my brother and these people are condoning this craziness. Y would people get married to live apart ridiculous. Because they want to live in SIN❤
@YaoAnne-j7g
December 2, 2024 at 1:07 pm
!!I am at the beginning of my “investment journey”, planning to put 185K into dividend stocks so that I will be making up to 30% per year in dividend returns. any good stock recommendation on great performing stocks or Crypto will be appreciated..
@DivaHarrison
December 2, 2024 at 1:09 pm
Without a doubt! Ruth Ann Tsakonas is a trader who goes above and beyond. she has an exceptional skill for analysing market movements and spotting profitable opportunities. Her strategies are meticulously crafted on thorough research and years of practical experience.
@YaoAnne-j7g
December 2, 2024 at 1:09 pm
how would you recommend i enter the crypto market? I am also looking at studying some traders and copying their strategy rather than investing myself and losing money emotionally.. What’s your take on this approach? and How can i reach her, if you don’t mind me asking?
@NDOvert
December 2, 2024 at 2:49 pm
I found this talk very relatable and a good reminder that we shouldn’t be quick to compare ourselves to other couples. Loved the message!
@blesskeekee-fy1om
December 3, 2024 at 7:38 am
Yes ur right we shouldn’t compare ourselves to no one but what she preaching about living alone from ur husband or wife is wrong❤but that’s her opinion, so I guess ur right. Stay blessed, my Heavenly sister
@StephAnya
December 2, 2024 at 3:00 pm
It was an absolute honor to be on this stage! Thank you @@TED for having me.
@carlylind13
December 2, 2024 at 3:16 pm
So cool to see this pop up in my feed! Nice job on this talk. 🎶 whaaaaats annnya mindddd 🎶
@TruthorOrder
December 2, 2024 at 3:16 pm
Here from your youtube channel. Congrats Steph Anya
@ynazzra
December 2, 2024 at 7:04 pm
Look at these milestones you’re just conquering! Incredible
@qrious5107
December 2, 2024 at 9:34 pm
Powerful video!
@Swolfoo7
December 2, 2024 at 10:29 pm
Excellent speech StephAnya!
@t.aquila
December 2, 2024 at 3:18 pm
Amazing! Brings a whole new perspective to how you should view your partner and your relationships.
@MindReeda
December 2, 2024 at 3:19 pm
Nice presentation!🙂
@Gugx
December 2, 2024 at 3:38 pm
Great talk 👏🏽 Concise & relatable 👌🏽
@omarianyabwile7302
December 2, 2024 at 4:06 pm
Love it!
@margaretfk
December 2, 2024 at 4:34 pm
Now everyone go give her a follow!!
@LăngKínhĐộngVật-vietnamese
December 2, 2024 at 6:18 pm
Và Đó là lý do tại sao Trump làm tổng thống
@xLiLlyx98
December 2, 2024 at 7:04 pm
You know what, this came at a very perfect time. As someone who doesn’t sleep in the same bed because of health issues and differing sleeping cycles, and who doesnt get to spend as much time with their partner as i might like, am struggling a little right now… I really kind of want things to be the way they were. I just might have to stop thinking how it “should” be… Thank you!
@bwines16
December 3, 2024 at 8:33 am
I honestly love how serendipitous things can be! I’m totally single, but I’m definitely not opposed to the idea of sleeping separately. Sleep is so crucial to one’s health, attitude, and overall wellbeing that it needs to be good every night. If you can’t get that sleeping next to your partner, sleep somewhere else! It’s just sleep. And the winding down solo can be good for you too.
Hope things get better for you ❤
@xLiLlyx98
December 3, 2024 at 9:58 am
@bwines16 thank you! Yeah, I think part of why it is bothering me is because my parents have been sleeping separately for years, also partially to preserve nerves of all parties (due to snoring) but also their dynamic is very strained and doesn’t appear very loving to the outside. So maybe that’s where the strange feeling about it comes from. On the other hand, I know how cranky I get without optimal sleeping conditions so… There’s a lot to unpack and unlearn here 😄 wishing you well too!
@spokenwordpoetries
December 2, 2024 at 7:34 pm
This is such great information. Thank you for platforming a valid professional.
@sonimoons
December 2, 2024 at 9:16 pm
Congrats on giving the Ted talk! I watch your content all the time so that’s exciting! Looking forward to watching this! 🎉😊
@思敬沈
December 2, 2024 at 10:04 pm
good relationship is with understanding each other thinking for other people
@KnowledgeSimmons
December 2, 2024 at 11:33 pm
I believe that common goals keep the relationship worth wild. By me being Muslim and we marry for the worship of our Lord First, Love second,Money/Responsibility third and Family Linage fourth we can get over anything being that we wake up to fulfill the same common goal.
@donnabray7486
December 3, 2024 at 12:48 am
That was amazing!!!
@ifeesam
December 3, 2024 at 12:55 am
Go Stephanie!
@romadabos4534
December 3, 2024 at 1:05 am
This is the most important topic when it comes to relationships and is soooo UNDERRATED
@no_one514
December 3, 2024 at 2:36 am
This is GREAT! 3:36pm 12-3-4 TUE
@aondorplonts
December 3, 2024 at 6:52 am
Interesting.
@blesskeekee-fy1om
December 3, 2024 at 7:33 am
DO U ALL HEAR WHAT THIS LADY IS TRYING TO INFLICTED IN COUPLES SO SAD. JUST BECAUSE UR PARENTS WERE FINE WITH DRIVING ALONE OR LIVING SEPARATE THAT WERE THEM. NOT EVERYONE BELIEVE IN THAT. THAT IS NOT APART OF EVERYONE CULTURE ❤. Y WOULD I GET MARRIED TO LIVE ALONE, PLEASE MAKE IT MAKE SENSE🤔 THIS IS WHAT SOCIETY IS PREACHING TO PEOPLE NOWADAYS SMH, PEOPLE ARE LOST TODAY AND JUST WANT TO DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO BEHIND EACH OTHER BACK, EVERYONE WANTS TO LIVE IN SIN FOR THE REST OF THEIR NATURAL BORN LIFE😢HEAVENLY FATHER PLEASE GUIDE MY STEPS, THANK U💪🏽🙏🏽💯
@HierarchyDivine
December 3, 2024 at 8:58 am
This was great! ❤
@bachopinbee5991
December 3, 2024 at 9:31 am
Goddamn it! Very enlightening TeDX Talk! Thank you StephAnya…it’s all about adapting and acceptance.
@catherine432
December 3, 2024 at 12:33 pm
Well done Steph Anya!
@darinherrick9224
December 3, 2024 at 5:43 pm
I don’t believe relationships are hard. I believe being alone is hard.