People & Blogs
Why Venting Doesn’t Help You Deal with Anger | Jennifer Parlamis | TED
Does venting actually help you cool off, or does it just add fuel to the fire? Social psychologist Jennifer Parlamis busts common myths about anger, showing how curiosity — not catharsis — can keep you calm. Discover the surprising science behind anger management and four practical tools for building stronger relationships from a researcher who’s…
People & Blogs
The Controversial Climate Tool Funding Real Change | Sandeep Roy Choudhury | TED
If a company plants trees to offset its pollution, is that climate progress — or is it greenwashing? Critics of carbon markets say it’s the latter. But Sandeep Roy Choudhury, who’s spent two decades financing climate projects from rural cookstoves to coastal forests, says the real failure is discouraging companies from even trying. Hear his…
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How to Be a Great Listener | Maegan Stephens, Nicole Lowenbraun | TED
Have you ever left a meeting thinking: everyone talked, but nothing was achieved? Chances are that people were listening to each other, just not in the same way. Listening experts Maegan Stephens and Nicole Lowenbraun unpack the four different ways to listen, sharing a practical framework that could change how you respond, build trust and…
People & Blogs
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Picture this: a rocket ship crash-lands on a planet, and an alien approaches the spacecraft. What do you see in your mind when you visualize this scene? For Alex Rosenthal (and many others), the answer is: absolutely nothing. Exploring the fascinating science of aphantasia, or the inability to generate mental images, he shows why our…
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@HarshitKumar-e8s
November 26, 2025 at 11:04 am
Hui
@cr7fan2h
November 26, 2025 at 11:04 am
❤❤❤
@ExistentialWolf
November 26, 2025 at 11:08 am
If you vent less it works 😀 Try to articulate rather than percolate too when you do it.
@Zarozian
November 26, 2025 at 11:13 am
Why we love intelligent and logical women 😊
@ExistentialWolf
November 26, 2025 at 11:23 am
Because they don’t get angry – they must have busy husbands 😀
@Mudrye-c3w
November 26, 2025 at 11:27 am
👍👍👍
@Murph_82
November 26, 2025 at 11:35 am
F*ck that.. no ones gonna tell me not to vent!
@WaliJan-v3x6k
November 26, 2025 at 11:42 am
Why venting doesn’t help you to deal with anger
@سیروس.مریدی
November 26, 2025 at 11:45 am
عوامل متعددی می توانند بر گفته های شما تاثیر گذار باشنند..علت.باز برخورد.زمان در طول روز..مکانی که در لحظه در آن قرار دارید .اگر فروید زنده بود شاید خیلی از نظریاتش اضاف می شد.
@bklynmyke
November 26, 2025 at 11:51 am
I feel like I’m a kindergartener who was talked to by a college professor because I threw a fit over not getting the toy I wanted. Is this really TED talk worthy? So, check your anger, deal with it like a grown-up. Try to calm down by doing calming things. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Gather information (usually by asking the person you’re angry at questions instead of yelling at them, if you can), and I’m wondering what exactly venting is now. I thought I vented, but I don’t get angry when I vent to someone. I don’t even need commentary or opinion. I’m just talking out loud to organize my thoughts for when I have a face-to-face with the person I’m mad at. It takes a lot to get me angry. But this TED talk is pissing me off. I can’t believe all the BS this woman is trying to feed me! It’s so stupid! This is F’n ridiculous. Don’t mind me, I’m just venting. LOL See what I did there. (But I do think most people should already know this stuff. I can’t believe they needed a 40-year study on this.
@harrypearle9781
November 26, 2025 at 11:52 am
VALUE OTHERS more and more to come closer to PEACE / SHALOM
Give others credit, more and more, all the time, and REWARD Others, all the time.
============================================================ TNX
@Rnue
November 26, 2025 at 11:54 am
Yes, let’s all hold our farts in too; god forbid a TED talk ever encompass nuance.
@alondra555
November 26, 2025 at 11:56 am
Muchas gracias👍
@allisonbeaulieu8317
November 26, 2025 at 12:00 pm
Sometimes when I vent to somebody else, or I talk out loud to myself, I am able to process things in a way that I’m not able to do it internally.
@blueowlwill8754
November 26, 2025 at 1:51 pm
Exactly. Isn’t it sad how people cannot wrap their heads around that different things work for different people. She sounds ridiculous
@tamarastein93
November 27, 2025 at 3:05 am
@blueowlwill8754 She doesn’t actually say to not vent anymore and doesn’t say anything about emotional processing. Which talking to someone about one’s own anger is. She just says, that venting in general does not release anger.
@tuabenjamin
November 26, 2025 at 12:06 pm
she was projecting her insecurities. plain & simple.
saying she was attributing it to her husband’s internal desire versus an externality is cope.
@NupeAtl
November 26, 2025 at 12:29 pm
*No husband can share this with his wife.*
@KellyLaneYoga
November 26, 2025 at 12:30 pm
Ummmm, she just ASSUMED instead of ASKED for his reasoning, like she asked her dad. She SHOULD have just asked her husband like a responsible, healthy adult relationship. 🙄
@trtoer
November 28, 2025 at 12:52 pm
she admitted that flaw, that’s why she was able to do this TED TALK
@AnUnseenRuler
November 26, 2025 at 12:40 pm
Jennifer: Gets interested in venting.
Me: Gets interested in stroller design that is clearly based on female ergonomic metrics.
@hdmat101
November 26, 2025 at 12:40 pm
IDC, Venting is a good strategy in Among Us!
@selinov
November 26, 2025 at 1:32 pm
It took me a while to understand that she’s not saying “venting does not help.” She’s saying that venting WITHOUT CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK OR INTROSPECTION does not help resolve any underlying anger. The title of the video is a bit misaligned with Parlamis’ nuanced reasoning. If she had vented to her dad, he would likely have provided the insight. Regardless, nice talk… and 🔥 styling.
@guneskotbas2705
November 27, 2025 at 1:13 pm
thanks for sharing this detail, it is important
@AnnieB-v8j
November 26, 2025 at 2:20 pm
Anger is a sign of unmet needs…?
@Lordie_watches
November 26, 2025 at 2:53 pm
Wonderful talk, but I offer a contrasting perspective based on the ‘pressure vessel’ concept.
I believe venting is only unhelpful when done ineffectively. If a pressurized container vents harshly or into the atmosphere, it’s toxic. But if that pressure is vented into the proper receptacle—like a partner with answers rather than just a friend who absorbs the toxicity—it restores stability.
You suggest ‘cooling’ the environment (meditation/yoga), which works for maintenance. But if you try to strictly ‘cool’ a vessel where pressure is rising rapidly towards an explosion, you risk a catastrophic failure. Sometimes controlled release is the only safety mechanism available.
@yosojinuchiha9549
November 26, 2025 at 9:43 pm
Great point, I like this part here where you said, “[b]ut if that pressure is vented into the proper receptacle—like a partner with answers rather than just a friend who absorbs the toxicity—it restores stability.” Another comment by @selinov pointed out that Jennifer Parlamis is not exactly saying that venting is useless or does not help. Instead, she’s saying, “venting without constructive feedback or introspection does not help resolve any underlying anger. The title of the video is a bit misaligned with Parlamis'[s] nuanced reasoning.” I think this is exactly what you’re trying to convey, if I’m not mistaken, correct? I agree that “sometimes controlled release is the only safety mechanism available,” but it should always be done in the appropriate environment where it can be contained and tamed.
@lydiacarrasco-bueno2964
November 28, 2025 at 2:17 pm
Didn’t she mention journaling at some point? That way you can vent without hurting anybody and then come back when you’re calm and sort through what you wrote to see if this is something that warrants reasonable action. I think the issue with venting is when you give too much weight to just your perspective and not enough to the other person’s, sort of like an echo chamber. However, if venting to another person helps you feel heard/get your anger out so that now you are open to considering the perspective of the offender then I suppose it would help.
@ashishlivein
November 26, 2025 at 3:22 pm
While I do agree with her on yoga and meditation, I also think physical activity like running/walking helps with anger since we tend to deep breath more. I also think that this lady has anger issues.
@rrealisticfantasy
November 26, 2025 at 4:57 pm
On many ppl that triggers adrenaline and can make it worse, not everything is for everyone
@laratataryn138
November 26, 2025 at 9:24 pm
I have a personal hunch that a key to healing internally is practicing intentional exaggerated expression: stretching beyond ourselves. For example, we naturally do this when doing yoga, exercising, and dancing. We find relief when singing and raising our voices, whether we’re driven by positive or negative emotions. We feel better after crying deeply. Just avoid directing emotions at people, because then their feedback may trigger more. Exaggerate, exaggerate, exaggerate!
@laratataryn138
November 26, 2025 at 9:24 pm
I have a personal hunch that a key to healing internally is practicing intentional exaggerated expression: stretching beyond ourselves. For example, we naturally do this when doing yoga, exercising, and dancing. We find relief when singing and raising our voices, whether we’re driven by positive or negative emotions. We feel better after crying deeply. Just avoid directing negative emotions at people, because then their feedback may trigger more. Exaggerate, exaggerate, exaggerate!
@laratataryn138
November 26, 2025 at 9:32 pm
Additional to what I wrote above: when you exaggerate, you are in control. So by its nature, an exaggerated action is a mindful action. A key to healing I say!
@ope_saibu
November 27, 2025 at 8:06 am
@laratataryn138Yess!
I’ve noticed that sometimes when I’m avoiding crying, that’s when my laughs are usually the loudest, they come out with so much energy.
@Q.f-bit理論定義者
November 26, 2025 at 3:41 pm
Core structural model:
Δf × Î × φ
(Defined as the generative layer preceding probability, state evolution, and phase dynamics.)
@TheShellyHansenShow
November 26, 2025 at 5:37 pm
So many people believe that venting is “releasing” anger, when in reality it often reinforces the emotional loop. Curiosity interrupts the cycle in a way catharsis never will—it brings the prefrontal cortex back online so you can respond instead of explode. What Jennifer shares here is the real emotional skill: learning to observe your anger without becoming it. That’s how you protect your relationships and your peace. 💫
@drumbum3.142
November 26, 2025 at 8:58 pm
Different Music (Slipknot; Before I Forget, Rage Against the Machine, and/or Limp Bizkit for example) along with Running sometimes help me deal (and decompress) when shift happens
🎭👍🫶
@niccolom
November 26, 2025 at 10:17 pm
I push carts that way too because the average cart is made for women — don’t blame me, blame the designers and manufacturers — and I have to bend down if I push it with both arms on the handle bar. That is in addition to what the dad said about kicking the bottom of the cart with the feet or shin.
Venting isn’t the problem here. It’s imagining stuff without fact-checking that’s the problem. When she vented before she dug up the facts — to other women who didn’t understand the men issue — she caught herself in an echo chamber, which is the root cause of the problem.
You know how people say that men always try to solve problems when you vent to them? Yeah, that would have worked to prevent herself from getting angrier through “fake news” inside an echo chamber.
Venting, or simply communicating the emotions with other people, is still a good idea, as long as you choose your venting partner carefully.
@hanchi8710
November 27, 2025 at 12:08 am
this is not groundbreaking findings. AI could find a better solution if you ask it
@redred4851
November 27, 2025 at 12:37 am
Using one hand
Regular walking: Push the stroller with one hand while your other arm swings naturally. Periodically switch hands (e.g., every eight steps) to help maintain your balance and natural upper body movement, which can prevent mid-back tension.
Good posture: Using one hand allows for more natural rotation in your rib cage and can improve your running or walking form.
Safety check: A stroller should be easy to steer straight while pushing with just one hand.
Using two hands
Rough terrain: Use two hands when going over bumps, uneven surfaces, or other challenging parts of your route to maintain better control.
Running: During a run, hold the stroller with both hands on rough terrain or hills, but switch to one hand at a time for periods to maintain good form.
Stops: When stopping, you may need to use two hands to keep the stroller steady and secure, especially if you need to engage a brake.
@Rashawnn-b9o
November 27, 2025 at 6:26 am
Where are these people at. The wrong program was offered by many psychologist!
@TitasChakraborty-y2g
November 27, 2025 at 7:32 am
Love ❤
@olgagusik
November 27, 2025 at 7:36 am
The fact that she never asked her husband about the stroller walk seems strange. I would’ve asked mine the very second I saw it)
@stevewise19
November 27, 2025 at 7:38 am
Letting that steam out helps most of the time. If you let the other person know that their actions angered you, they may willingly change their behaviour.
I see venting as communicating your feelings instead of holding them in.
@jimanders6666
November 27, 2025 at 12:19 pm
I can’t believe this woman has a problem with the way people push strollers………………..
@hummersd
November 27, 2025 at 1:16 pm
I know the stroller example is what sparked the research so it ended up being a good thing, but I started to think, whoa, what is going on that she got angry at THAT (pick your battles), and throughout her talk that’s all I could think about. Agree on why we vent — reinforcement by others and/or perspectives/redirects — those are basic psychology principles. And then she brought it back to the last example of her husband doing yoga when she needed dinner to be served (which again, I recognize she’s using as an example of how she put into practice what she learned), and then I started to think, dayum, the HUSBAND didn’t take anything away from years of living with her in understanding what ticks her off vs. not. But glad they understand meditation helps in these situations, lol.
@guneskotbas2705
November 27, 2025 at 2:54 pm
Gabor MATE says similar things about this topic: Acting out don’t solve the anger. That even make you more furious as you feed and justify your anger while you acting out or punching the pillows. He has a system he called RAIN,
R: Recognize the feeling, name it.
A: Allow yourself to feel it deeply while watching the changes in your body
I: Investigate the reasons, past incidents, beliefs etc. behind this feeling
N: Nurture this wounded side of yourself who needs protection.
@Nathan1776Hale
November 27, 2025 at 9:24 pm
“All generalizations are untrue, including this one.” Mark Twain. This is absolute bullshit. Venting is necessary for some of us to blow off enough steam to manage what we’re dealing with if you don’t understand that by now I feel sorry for you..
@MysticMyrth
November 28, 2025 at 12:13 am
Ah wow. So as a man with kids I knew exactly why he was doing this from the moment the audience was laughing about how “he’s a hotshot who doesn’t care about safety” and I was livid. Then she goes on to say she would vent to whoever would listen…. …. …. why oh why wouldn’t you ASK. YOUR. HUSBAND. please for the love of god. COMMUNICATE!
@adcashmo
November 29, 2025 at 7:58 am
Exactly. I knew why he was doing it immediately.
I’m 6’5″
@weili1963
November 28, 2025 at 5:42 am
It’s important to communicate with your husband, and you might suggest he practice yoga at a different time.😀
@weili1963
November 28, 2025 at 5:50 am
Expressing anger directly at the ‘offender’ may bring temporary relief, but it can harm others. By managing our emotions, gathering more information, and clarifying our intentions, we can respond appropriately in ways that benefit both sides.
@lokipokey
November 28, 2025 at 9:16 am
I’m surprised she didn’t seem to have a single friend tell her to stop whining about HOW her husband pushed the stroller. Sheesh, he was doing it!
@marthaaleo22
November 28, 2025 at 10:40 pm
There is a good video hidden in here somewhere. But this is so obtuse and superficial. She leaves out so much information that could be helpful. And I don’t understand why going for a run doesn’t help you deal with anger but deep breathing does.
@annie_charcheologist
November 29, 2025 at 2:55 am
Yes a lot of talking about a superficial reason to conduct research – I can’t imagine what that grant application looked like 😂 anyhoo as she said running increases BP, so I can imagine that causes increased cortisol levels or a spike. Maybe cortisol spikes are similar to sugar spikes idk. Another point she made about screaming/crying – I find when people do this, it can be distressing for people over hearing/witnessing it but also just seems to increase the individual’s (doing the screaming) anger/frustration/whatever and makes them more worked up, doesn’t resolve the issue or decrease how they feel about it.
@michelleabreu2677
November 29, 2025 at 7:06 am
This is a nice theory however – colleague who does nothing, we all have to pick up her workload and the reasons (when getting curious) are just as dismissive, avoidant and inadequate. More fury. Then she gets angry at us for trying to hold her accountable. I have to walk off my anger. I have scheduled breaks for my “wellbeing” so I don’t explode because I and a few others are doubling our workload to cover hers.
@giorgiobarchiesi5003
November 29, 2025 at 9:56 am
I disagree on the supposedly negligible benefits of physical activity. It surely increases you blood pressure and heartbeat while you do it, but the beneficial effects come afterwards. There is nothing or nobody I am able to be angry at, after a long walk in the woods, or a good hike on the mountains, o a bicicle ride. I think it’s partly due to a chemical effect (endorphines etc.), partly due to the sense of freedom and of immersion in nature. Two golden rules: not in competitions (adrenaline), and not in eccess according to your physical training level (cortisol).
@pennrichmann4778
November 29, 2025 at 10:19 am
I cannot relate to her anger toward bourgeoisie pet-peeves. It will never connect with real-world anger so she does a disservice to most anger-fuel behaviors. We need a solution to violent angry reactions not just a way to get over a petty complaint about one’s husband.
@naacheez
November 29, 2025 at 11:10 am
Why Didn’t She ASK THE HUSBAND!?!
@justinmas299
November 29, 2025 at 11:29 am
As someone who expresses anxiety or frustration as anger I TOTALLY disagree. Physical venting violently on a stick or brick works wonders.
@Conceptsofaplan8647
November 29, 2025 at 12:27 pm
I feel sorry for her that venting doesn’t give her the space to process more challenging emotions like it does for so many other people. Better out than in.
@thereisalwaysmore4582
November 29, 2025 at 2:43 pm
Hi! Im Not happy with the German subtiles / captions. There is „Venting“ translated with „Abreagieren“. For me „Abreagieren“ includes more than talking. Maybe it’s a special psychological expression, but for me, as an ordinary person it’s irritating. I’d love to know more. Thanks!
@Yx9000
November 29, 2025 at 5:25 pm
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) taught a calm and practical approach to managing anger. He encouraged changing one’s physical position and performing ablution to help calm the mind and control emotions. He emphasized avoiding rash actions when angry and reminded his companions to be patient, verify matters carefully, and never judge people’s intentions—just as he corrected Usama ibn Zaid in the famous incident.
@N0B0DY_SP3C14L
November 29, 2025 at 7:26 pm
I am not wired like most folks, in that anger is one of my best motivators to get things done. Like cleaning my spot. If I want to get my place cleaned up, I need to get pissed at the mess. Then it gets cleaned up. Venting is just like punching a pillow when I am angry with someone; it makes it worse.