We tend to consider romantic partners and family ties to be our most important relationships, but deep friendships can be just as meaningful. In a perspective-shifting talk, author Rhaina Cohen introduces us to the people unsettling norms by choosing a friend as a life partner — and shows why we’re all better off recognizing there’s more than one kind of significant other. (Recorded at TEDNext 2024 on October 23, 2024)
If you love watching TED Talks like this one, become a TED Member to support our mission of spreading ideas:
Follow TED!
X:
Instagram:
Facebook:
LinkedIn:
TikTok:
The TED Talks channel features talks, performances and original series from the world’s leading thinkers and doers. Subscribe to our channel for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design — plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more.
Watch more:
TED’s videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy: . For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at
#TED #TEDTalks
@Prodigious1One
November 18, 2024 at 7:20 am
Interesting Ideas. The two person’s could get married for the benefits from work.
@lcharris1685
November 18, 2024 at 7:21 am
Best friends are forever
@--ART3MIS--
November 18, 2024 at 7:27 am
ah, yeah, the ex TED! I forgot to unsubscribe (should have done this in 2016, when TED died).thank you for reminding me!
have fun with that kind of… content.
@NoSTs123
November 18, 2024 at 10:36 am
Why did ted die and what is exTED
@salhimoussa4930
November 18, 2024 at 7:30 am
I believe that friendship holds a much deeper meaning and significance than mere emotional attachment. Unlike romantic relationships, which often hinge on various interests—be they sexual or material—true friendship is grounded in genuine connection and mutual support, free from ulterior motives.
@McArRuIzO
November 18, 2024 at 10:36 am
Want to know a secret? Your partner should be your friend as well. Unfortunately, people don’t really “like” their partners past what they can offer sexually or financially. A lot of folks say their partner is their best friend, but in reality, they wouldn’t even be work acquaintances if it weren’t for the romantic aspect. The absolute best romantic love comes from, as you said, mutual support and genuine connection coupled with the romantic gestures.
@irenedog2734
November 18, 2024 at 7:32 am
I don’t get why there are so many negative comments; I totally agree with her view, and it is a shame modern society diminishes friendship to a less meaningful relationship while it can be life saving
@zifebort8245
November 18, 2024 at 7:47 am
same, idk why but reading the negative comments kinda hurt on this. Cuz I agree with her statements too.
I feel like either friendship or romantic relationship can’t be compared to which one is a deeper relationship. Both are meaningful, but just have a different concept. It’s like how family and friends are, usually one is closer to family and others with friends.
@saharaimeur
November 18, 2024 at 7:41 am
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
@monsieurtoulmonde402
November 18, 2024 at 7:47 am
Woke propaganda as always…
@NoSTs123
November 18, 2024 at 10:35 am
huh?
In what way is this bad?
@transpiler
November 18, 2024 at 4:11 pm
@@monsieurtoulmonde402 fellas is it gay to have friends?
@adrianmoore2750
November 18, 2024 at 7:55 am
It can’t.
@JaeJekyll
November 18, 2024 at 7:57 am
As an asexual that was never in a serious relationship til my 30s the message in this TT is soo needed for a LOT of people.
@misanthrobot
November 18, 2024 at 8:49 am
agreed!!
@dystopianaverice1981
November 18, 2024 at 10:18 am
You are not asexual lol
@chetthebee1322
November 18, 2024 at 7:59 am
“I’m not waiting on a lady,
I’m just waiting on a friend”
-The Rolling Stones (1981)
@FlaviusDumitrescu5918
November 18, 2024 at 8:09 am
I legit don’t understand the point she is trying to make.
What do you want to change with this talk? What are humans doing that is “wrong” or “bad” or whatever, and you would think they would be better off not doing anymore? What behaviour are you pointing out to?
Do you want legal recognition for friendships? If so, then this talk was not well made for that scope.
Do you want people to just have deeper friendships? Why would you care and why would that be your concern?
It seems to me that we might have some bigger problems on the planet at the moment that might need some attention.
Or it just might be a topic above my level of understanding. Anyone care to explain, please?
@matteomenegatti7193
November 18, 2024 at 10:14 am
I believe that the point she’s trying to make is
– human connections are important
– relationships are multifaceted and not so easy to label
– we overhype l romantic love in spite of friendship love
-> a friendship can be just as important as a romantic relationship which means that if you don’t have a romantic partner you can feel just as lucky knowing you got friends
@matteomenegatti7193
November 18, 2024 at 10:17 am
A lit of people feel lonely (myself included) because they don’t have a romantic partner
And she says “bro you don’t need to worry there are many ways to be happy”.
@Rithmy
November 18, 2024 at 6:37 pm
This is a big problem tho. The crisis of human intimacy. The loneliness crisis is well documented and seen. We also know that having deeper friendships is basically a protection against most psychological illnesses and an indicator of happyness.
So i find it reasonable to make this shift from how only you monogamy partner has to bear all the burden towards having many emotional friendships.
@Rodeiro_y_Baiona
November 18, 2024 at 8:15 am
Really interesting, congratulations
@Ainagulova
November 18, 2024 at 8:15 am
And this pops up in my feed when I’m contemplating the relationship between Carol and Daryl.
@sanchitagolder
November 18, 2024 at 11:20 am
who are they
@rhondasmith7413
November 18, 2024 at 11:31 am
Ted and Alice?
@Ainagulova
November 18, 2024 at 8:21 pm
@@sanchitagolder the characters from the Walking Dead series who have been best friends for more than a decade now but the fans would really welcome their romantic relationship if they crossed the line.
@misanthrobot
November 18, 2024 at 8:57 am
I love how Cohen mentioned the other dynamics of relationships in older societies, like ancient Rome. There is a clear difference between the ancient and modern idea of relationships. Today, it is common for us to expect to receive the most intimacy from marriage, but *that* can become more of an expectation than a reality. I’m absolutely on board with Cohen’s perspective and significant value of friendships.
@daborahgermanstavolkmunte
November 18, 2024 at 11:30 am
!!!I already own shares of NVDA and PLTR. I’ll also add TSLA to my portfolio. But I’d like suggestions on long-term opportunities to explore that could make solid additions to my $260k portfolio for stable cashflow.
@YevaSonia
November 18, 2024 at 11:31 am
I managed to grow a nest egg of around 120k to over a Million. I’m especially grateful to Adviser Ruth Ann Tsakonas, for her expertise and exposure to different areas of the market.
@YevaSonia
November 18, 2024 at 11:31 am
Without a doubt! Ruth Ann Tsakonas is a trader who goes above and beyond. she has an exceptional skill for analyzing market movements and spotting profitable opportunities. Her strategies are meticulously crafted on thorough research and years of practical experience.
@iuk4280
November 18, 2024 at 11:47 am
Akukwo…
@tammy6452
November 18, 2024 at 12:25 pm
Community❤
@XondamirXudoyberdiyev-un7kw
November 18, 2024 at 1:03 pm
I think we need to look for friends who are loyal and kind to us.❤
@سیروس.مریدی
November 18, 2024 at 3:07 pm
دوستی هایی که از لحاظ روحی و روانی در مسیر توافق در زمینه موافق باشد لذب بخش و سالیان سال ادامه خواهد داشت در غیر این صورت به کوتاه ترین زمان پایان می یابد..
@marinanathanson4940
November 18, 2024 at 3:18 pm
Friendship is a great relationship, and when you have it its amazing. Living nearby is important for creating that kind of intimate friendship that gives back support. Many communes are living on that, everybody helps everybody. But the trend of growing lonliness and self reliance made a frienship an unaffordable luxury for many .
@_---__
November 18, 2024 at 4:01 pm
Look out for those coworkers they are waiting to slide in at any moment. Never let your significant other have friends of the opposite gender. Emotional and physical infidelity hold similar significance.
@DaveMcIroy
November 18, 2024 at 4:23 pm
Yay to promoting loneliness.
@FraeyaWhiffin
November 18, 2024 at 4:41 pm
Relationship anarchy explained very well!
@lamedumbjoker
November 18, 2024 at 5:26 pm
In my country we’re trying to pass “Companion law” where two adults living together and agree to be “partners”(w/o romance involved) can be given the same privilege as married couple. Very much an uphill battle, but I would love for it to be a thing.