Science & Technology

Why Friendship Can Be Just As Meaningful as Romantic Love | Rhaina Cohen | TED

We tend to consider romantic partners and family ties to be our most important relationships, but deep friendships can be just as meaningful. In a perspective-shifting talk, author Rhaina Cohen introduces us to the people unsettling norms by choosing a friend as a life partner — and shows why we’re all better off recognizing there’s…

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We tend to consider romantic partners and family ties to be our most important relationships, but deep friendships can be just as meaningful. In a perspective-shifting talk, author Rhaina Cohen introduces us to the people unsettling norms by choosing a friend as a life partner — and shows why we’re all better off recognizing there’s more than one kind of significant other. (Recorded at TEDNext 2024 on October 23, 2024)

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61 Comments

  1. @Prodigious1One

    November 18, 2024 at 7:20 am

    Interesting Ideas. The two person’s could get married for the benefits from work.

  2. @lcharris1685

    November 18, 2024 at 7:21 am

    Best friends are forever

  3. @--ART3MIS--

    November 18, 2024 at 7:27 am

    ah, yeah, the ex TED! I forgot to unsubscribe (should have done this in 2016, when TED died).thank you for reminding me!
    have fun with that kind of… content.

    • @NoSTs123

      November 18, 2024 at 10:36 am

      Why did ted die and what is exTED

  4. @salhimoussa4930

    November 18, 2024 at 7:30 am

    I believe that friendship holds a much deeper meaning and significance than mere emotional attachment. Unlike romantic relationships, which often hinge on various interests—be they sexual or material—true friendship is grounded in genuine connection and mutual support, free from ulterior motives.

    • @McArRuIzO

      November 18, 2024 at 10:36 am

      Want to know a secret? Your partner should be your friend as well. Unfortunately, people don’t really “like” their partners past what they can offer sexually or financially. A lot of folks say their partner is their best friend, but in reality, they wouldn’t even be work acquaintances if it weren’t for the romantic aspect. The absolute best romantic love comes from, as you said, mutual support and genuine connection coupled with the romantic gestures.

  5. @irenedog2734

    November 18, 2024 at 7:32 am

    I don’t get why there are so many negative comments; I totally agree with her view, and it is a shame modern society diminishes friendship to a less meaningful relationship while it can be life saving

    • @zifebort8245

      November 18, 2024 at 7:47 am

      same, idk why but reading the negative comments kinda hurt on this. Cuz I agree with her statements too.
      I feel like either friendship or romantic relationship can’t be compared to which one is a deeper relationship. Both are meaningful, but just have a different concept. It’s like how family and friends are, usually one is closer to family and others with friends.

  6. @saharaimeur

    November 18, 2024 at 7:41 am

    👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  7. @monsieurtoulmonde402

    November 18, 2024 at 7:47 am

    Woke propaganda as always…

    • @NoSTs123

      November 18, 2024 at 10:35 am

      huh?
      In what way is this bad?

    • @transpiler

      November 18, 2024 at 4:11 pm

      @@monsieurtoulmonde402 fellas is it gay to have friends?

  8. @adrianmoore2750

    November 18, 2024 at 7:55 am

    It can’t.

  9. @JaeJekyll

    November 18, 2024 at 7:57 am

    As an asexual that was never in a serious relationship til my 30s the message in this TT is soo needed for a LOT of people.

    • @misanthrobot

      November 18, 2024 at 8:49 am

      agreed!!

    • @dystopianaverice1981

      November 18, 2024 at 10:18 am

      You are not asexual lol

  10. @chetthebee1322

    November 18, 2024 at 7:59 am

    “I’m not waiting on a lady,
    I’m just waiting on a friend”
    -The Rolling Stones (1981)

  11. @FlaviusDumitrescu5918

    November 18, 2024 at 8:09 am

    I legit don’t understand the point she is trying to make.

    What do you want to change with this talk? What are humans doing that is “wrong” or “bad” or whatever, and you would think they would be better off not doing anymore? What behaviour are you pointing out to?

    Do you want legal recognition for friendships? If so, then this talk was not well made for that scope.

    Do you want people to just have deeper friendships? Why would you care and why would that be your concern?

    It seems to me that we might have some bigger problems on the planet at the moment that might need some attention.

    Or it just might be a topic above my level of understanding. Anyone care to explain, please?

    • @matteomenegatti7193

      November 18, 2024 at 10:14 am

      I believe that the point she’s trying to make is
      – human connections are important
      – relationships are multifaceted and not so easy to label
      – we overhype l romantic love in spite of friendship love
      -> a friendship can be just as important as a romantic relationship which means that if you don’t have a romantic partner you can feel just as lucky knowing you got friends

    • @matteomenegatti7193

      November 18, 2024 at 10:17 am

      A lit of people feel lonely (myself included) because they don’t have a romantic partner
      And she says “bro you don’t need to worry there are many ways to be happy”.

    • @Rithmy

      November 18, 2024 at 6:37 pm

      This is a big problem tho. The crisis of human intimacy. The loneliness crisis is well documented and seen. We also know that having deeper friendships is basically a protection against most psychological illnesses and an indicator of happyness.

      So i find it reasonable to make this shift from how only you monogamy partner has to bear all the burden towards having many emotional friendships.

  12. @Rodeiro_y_Baiona

    November 18, 2024 at 8:15 am

    Really interesting, congratulations

  13. @Ainagulova

    November 18, 2024 at 8:15 am

    And this pops up in my feed when I’m contemplating the relationship between Carol and Daryl.

    • @sanchitagolder

      November 18, 2024 at 11:20 am

      who are they

    • @rhondasmith7413

      November 18, 2024 at 11:31 am

      Ted and Alice?

    • @Ainagulova

      November 18, 2024 at 8:21 pm

      @@sanchitagolder the characters from the Walking Dead series who have been best friends for more than a decade now but the fans would really welcome their romantic relationship if they crossed the line.

  14. @misanthrobot

    November 18, 2024 at 8:57 am

    I love how Cohen mentioned the other dynamics of relationships in older societies, like ancient Rome. There is a clear difference between the ancient and modern idea of relationships. Today, it is common for us to expect to receive the most intimacy from marriage, but *that* can become more of an expectation than a reality. I’m absolutely on board with Cohen’s perspective and significant value of friendships.

  15. @daborahgermanstavolkmunte

    November 18, 2024 at 11:30 am

    !!!I already own shares of NVDA and PLTR. I’ll also add TSLA to my portfolio. But I’d like suggestions on long-term opportunities to explore that could make solid additions to my $260k portfolio for stable cashflow.

    • @YevaSonia

      November 18, 2024 at 11:31 am

      I managed to grow a nest egg of around 120k to over a Million. I’m especially grateful to Adviser Ruth Ann Tsakonas, for her expertise and exposure to different areas of the market.

    • @YevaSonia

      November 18, 2024 at 11:31 am

      Without a doubt! Ruth Ann Tsakonas is a trader who goes above and beyond. she has an exceptional skill for analyzing market movements and spotting profitable opportunities. Her strategies are meticulously crafted on thorough research and years of practical experience.

  16. @iuk4280

    November 18, 2024 at 11:47 am

    Akukwo…

  17. @tammy6452

    November 18, 2024 at 12:25 pm

    Community❤

  18. @XondamirXudoyberdiyev-un7kw

    November 18, 2024 at 1:03 pm

    I think we need to look for friends who are loyal and kind to us.❤

  19. @سیروس.مریدی

    November 18, 2024 at 3:07 pm

    دوستی هایی که از لحاظ روحی و روانی در مسیر توافق در زمینه موافق باشد لذب بخش و سالیان سال ادامه خواهد داشت در غیر این صورت به کوتاه ترین زمان پایان می یابد..

  20. @marinanathanson4940

    November 18, 2024 at 3:18 pm

    Friendship is a great relationship, and when you have it its amazing. Living nearby is important for creating that kind of intimate friendship that gives back support. Many communes are living on that, everybody helps everybody. But the trend of growing lonliness and self reliance made a frienship an unaffordable luxury for many .

  21. @_---__

    November 18, 2024 at 4:01 pm

    Look out for those coworkers they are waiting to slide in at any moment. Never let your significant other have friends of the opposite gender. Emotional and physical infidelity hold similar significance.

  22. @DaveMcIroy

    November 18, 2024 at 4:23 pm

    Yay to promoting loneliness.

    • @SomeGrunt_On_Youtube

      November 20, 2024 at 1:42 am

      Respectfully as a person with many friends, but with a girlfriend who recently broke up with me, I don’t wanna tell you you or anyone else’s business but sometimes I feel like people should ask themselves in their unpredictable lives is that should your friend be your whole purpose to life? After all what would you do if that friend suddenly had to leave you for a busier but more high paying job or that girlfriend break up with you, to me it just seems crazy to think that a life can be about just constantly grasping at 1 person to be at the center of your life for potentially such a long time, like how I’ve seen so many lonely people and a lonely friend struggle with making a boyrfriend or girlfriend their purpose in life. Though of course not to say don’t value your friends cause “you can support yourself,” to me friends and girlfriends are meant to help with supporting you as well as yourself too. Anyways though right now I don’t really wanna discuss anything but just share my thoughts.

  23. @FraeyaWhiffin

    November 18, 2024 at 4:41 pm

    Relationship anarchy explained very well!

  24. @lamedumbjoker

    November 18, 2024 at 5:26 pm

    In my country we’re trying to pass “Companion law” where two adults living together and agree to be “partners”(w/o romance involved) can be given the same privilege as married couple. Very much an uphill battle, but I would love for it to be a thing.

    • @BabeKay01

      November 19, 2024 at 1:51 am

      Yeah I’m the states, Texas has it after 6 months I believe

    • @kmacgregor6361

      November 19, 2024 at 10:56 am

      ​@@BabeKay01 That’s for common-law marriage (looks like it’s called cohabitation in Texas) but you need to be in a romantic relationship.

  25. @giovannifrrri5495

    November 18, 2024 at 8:53 pm

    A partner is the friend you spend most time with, right?

  26. @alisabethalyse5244

    November 18, 2024 at 11:05 pm

    I believe it takes like minds to agree and accept the emotional closeness this calls for. We’ve been so conditioned to traditional aspects of relationships that we don’t realize how much loneliness there is out there. Even so called “close “ friends aren’t forth coming about their inner most feelings of disconnection because it makes you vulnerable and then what’s the solution. The Village aspect is especially needed today – so many are suffering in silence. Not only that people just need support. I’m not talking about financial – but true step outside of your comfort zone help. We all need it!

  27. @v.prestorpnrcrtlcrt2096

    November 19, 2024 at 1:18 am

    Since when is marriage a Basic Human Need? A stupid statement. Turned me off the rest of the video and your friends. **should state: for Americans only**

    • @finlaywhiskard3965

      November 19, 2024 at 10:26 am

      Never married or divorcee?

  28. @no_one514

    November 19, 2024 at 2:47 am

    3:46PM 11-19-24 TUE

  29. @AbdulKaderZilani-s5l

    November 19, 2024 at 4:59 am

    it’s just sad that the world just keeps bringing sexuality and those stuffs into freindship, these are different things, these are making us more unsocial

  30. @zarahp2098

    November 19, 2024 at 9:56 am

    Yes, The Village! We have that idea going as well, my friends and I. This talk is so important because our society is so conditioned to only recognize and value romantic or sexual love – but there are SO many types of love and they can be just as important.
    Great talk! Thank you. ❤

  31. @caver6292

    November 19, 2024 at 12:37 pm

    I am lucky to have such friends that mean so much. Great perspective.

  32. @caboosebird

    November 19, 2024 at 6:36 pm

    Proof that not all TED Talks are worth the listen 😂

  33. @ifa-d6n

    November 19, 2024 at 10:59 pm

    Presence: 09
    Name: Alifah Auliah Miftahuljannah
    NIM: 24081010212
    Yes, the speaker appears to have delivered the problems and solutions clearly, presenting both the issue (the undervaluation of friendships) and the proposed shift in thinking (recognizing the value of friendships as significant relationships) in a meaningful way.

  34. @11-errenbetrisianabila55

    November 19, 2024 at 11:12 pm

    Name : Erren Betrisia Nabila
    No. : 45
    NIM : 24082010253
    Major : Information System

    Overall, the video is comprehensive and well-structured. It effectively captures the main points of Rhaina Cohen’s TED Talk on the significance of friendship. The video is clear, concise, and easy to follow, making it a valuable resource for anyone interested in the topic.

  35. @marki2325

    November 20, 2024 at 12:23 am

    I had a friend who was my confidante and brother ( sadly passed away in his 30s ) and I’ve never had anyone like that to confide in again

  36. @azrielapw1238

    November 20, 2024 at 2:03 am

    Name : Azriel Aditya Putra Wahyudi
    No : 34
    NIM : 24082010220
    Major : Information system

    In her talk, Rhaina Cohen challenges societal norms that often prioritize romantic relationships over friendships, arguing that friendships can be equally deep and fulfilling. She illustrates the problems through personal anecdotes, cultural observations, and research, highlighting how friendships are undervalued in social and legal frameworks.

  37. @TracyVang-d9e

    November 22, 2024 at 4:16 am

    psychprofile AI fixes this. Friendship equals romantic love’s meaning.

  38. @kayleighdriessen

    November 22, 2024 at 10:57 am

    This leads me to think, is it too much to consistently prioritize your close friends regardless of whether or not you also have a romantic partner to prioritize, too much for me to kinda want a friendship like David & Jonathan’s (basically what Wikipedia refers to as “Romantic friendship”) from the bible even though I’m not religious? I prefer to spend most of my time alone over wasting my life on non-fulflling acquaintanceships that can barely qualify as the kind of friendships I find worthy of my time & energy.

  39. @洲冗奇

    November 23, 2024 at 1:07 am

    The friend you stay with day and night is actually your spouse

  40. @andycordy5190

    November 23, 2024 at 3:09 am

    Thank you. When we are so not over social programming, sttereotyping, homophobia and all manner of isolating factors, this seems like a long term goal for our society or worse, a place we came from a very long time ago to which we cannot return.

  41. @justanotherfrog

    November 23, 2024 at 11:03 am

    Loved her book! I’ve always felt that our society doesn’t put enough emphasis on friendship and needlessly promotes the idea that a romantic partner needs to be everything. It’s unrealistic to put that burden on one person

  42. @darioadrianz

    November 24, 2024 at 1:00 pm

    I loved this!

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