Science & Technology
Why a Woman’s Choice To Not Be a Mother Shouldn’t Define Her @TED #ted #shorts
Christen Reighter writes and performs as a poet and essayist, focusing primarily on social justice issues. Watch her full TED Talk:
Christen Reighter writes and performs as a poet and essayist, focusing primarily on social justice issues. Watch her full TED Talk:
Maverick Hustler
April 19, 2023 at 12:51 pm
I hope Vanessa Lachey sees this before the next Love Is Blind season 😂
Baron Zaraguin
April 19, 2023 at 12:57 pm
The Patriarchy wants just this behavior – a slave (not a mother with kids) that works full time on pursue of a “successful” carrier … to work harder (without the “distractions” of family and kids) and harder (and being payed less than men). The Patriarchy wants a slave to work and to consume (without the “weight” of family and kids) clothes, beauty products, to buy buy buy and feed the Patriarchy economical system ! That’s why for the Patriarchy women without kids are more profitable – a slave for corporate enterprises
Beverly Schrider
April 19, 2023 at 1:07 pm
This is the new “Fight overpopulation/Save the planet garbage that’s coming out.
Irene Haralabatos
April 19, 2023 at 1:10 pm
There are many states in which choice is being taken away. It’s frightening.
Namulema zulaika
April 19, 2023 at 1:18 pm
There is no “should“ in the world of Fabulous. There is never guilt or shame. There is only the feeling of celebration as you move past one tiny barrier at a time.
l3amp3r
April 19, 2023 at 1:20 pm
Women
The Mean Arena
April 19, 2023 at 1:21 pm
Must be another one of those talks where we turn a non-issue into an issue? Who’s trying to define a woman based on wanting to have kids or not? Go ahead and choose not to have kids. That’s your right to do so. Be responsible and not get pregnant then, buy all the toys you want, problem solved. You won’t have any kids.
Shreya Jain
April 19, 2023 at 2:11 pm
Many people do. Speaking from my own experience, even from childhood people expect that you should have kids if nothing for the sake of your parents. They question childless couples and think that there must be a medical issue at play.
Vulture Culture
April 19, 2023 at 3:18 pm
Wtf dude, people judge women all the time for not having kids.
The Mean Arena
April 19, 2023 at 6:26 pm
@Vulture Culture I doubt it is being judged. It is people just talking or making a comment. People take things to the extremes these days. It is like talking about racism. Everything seems racist these days. Is one really being judged when someone says, you may regret not having kids later in life? No, it is just their opinion. That isn’t judgement.
saimir guri
April 19, 2023 at 1:22 pm
no children no life
Vulture Culture
April 19, 2023 at 3:21 pm
That’s a really pathetic view of existence.
Nathan Hedglin
April 19, 2023 at 5:10 pm
Yeah cus having 16 children is a life ?
Aishik Patra
April 19, 2023 at 1:22 pm
What’s her name?
3377ftw
April 19, 2023 at 1:26 pm
Why in the world is this a TED talk? Lol
Yoga Of Health
April 19, 2023 at 1:28 pm
That was then
It was Nature’s choice.
Chuckin Shanks
April 19, 2023 at 1:34 pm
Just as many regret as don’t regret.
Vulture Culture
April 19, 2023 at 3:15 pm
No, they don’t. There have been several polls and studies on this. Most people who decide to not have children do not regret their decisions.
INemo
April 19, 2023 at 1:39 pm
I think ive seen her on bang bros before
AA
April 19, 2023 at 1:44 pm
The hormones play an important role in the time of when woman will seek a mate. It’s usually just before ovulation. The whole way we are wired is to reproduce. To move the genes forward.
You can override it and not reproduce of course.
Also, don’t you think there’s a lot of pressure nowadays to not have children? Woman who don’t have children make better employees. Many people benefit off of childless women. You don’t think they’re putting the opposite “influence” of your choice?
Vulture Culture
April 19, 2023 at 3:20 pm
Tell us you know nothing about evolution or human sociality without actually saying that.
AA
April 19, 2023 at 5:17 pm
Yeah I don’t and neither does anyone else.
None of us were consulted on the human design.
Arlene
April 19, 2023 at 1:44 pm
Growing up Hispanic I probably heard all of these comments. At almost 53 I don’t regret not ever wanting children.
KoSby
April 19, 2023 at 2:07 pm
If being a mother is not tied to your identity and worthiness as a spouse, adult or woman, then please list things that are tied to it?
Joanelle Polk
April 19, 2023 at 2:11 pm
💯
Vulture Culture
April 19, 2023 at 3:16 pm
Whatever we choose.
KoSby
April 19, 2023 at 5:34 pm
@Vulture Culture Great. Such as what?
jademm
April 19, 2023 at 8:26 pm
Motherhood can be a part of one’s identity but it shouldn’t be imposed on all females as the primary purpose or the sole worth of their lives. Do you feel women are universally obligated to become wives and mothers for the sake of humanity? Do you personally feel threatened by someone’s choice to NOT procreate or get married? Ask yourself why that fear exists. How does their choice to forego parenthood prevent you from finding a mate who wants children?
IT IS POSSIBLE TO BE A COMMITTED SPOUSE/AN ADULT/A WOMAN WITHOUT CHILDREN. First and foremost, you are fully HUMAN. Humanity isn’t determined by the number of children produced. Neither is adulthood. One isn’t “less human” or “less grown up” by their choice to be childless. To answer your question, the list of things tied to your identity is as endless or varied as the choices available.
I assume that YOUR desire is to have kids and be with a partner who wants the same. The idea of being childless by choice may be completely incomprehensible to you. Have you ever thought that your choice to start a biological family is incomprehensible to THEM? Just as you aren’t required to justify your desire to be married and/or have kids, NOBODY owes others an explanation for the choice to live a life without conceiving babies.
As Above So Below
April 19, 2023 at 2:29 pm
Empty egg carton.jpeg
Sarah SJ
April 19, 2023 at 2:36 pm
Well there WAS a choice..
joni jokunen
April 19, 2023 at 4:31 pm
It’s pretty sad that a Ted talk is needed to remind people of common sense
KoSby
April 19, 2023 at 6:01 pm
Also, it seems that families crumbling and breaking down has produced speakers like her to have this strong mindset. Generational and spiritual traumas, curses, and unforgiving grudges has caused us as humans to choose not to continue the reproduction of the human race, as it rekindles the fear of the issues we have faced at home as children. Let us pray… 🙏🏿
Rav
April 19, 2023 at 6:13 pm
Not just women. Men get asked the same questions. We just don’t give birth.
Sydney8
April 19, 2023 at 7:05 pm
Thanks for making this speech! Love you
CHILL AXE
April 19, 2023 at 7:36 pm
Way to honour your ancestors…. society is so selfish
Escos Cartel
April 19, 2023 at 7:37 pm
It’s society, they are going towards a Dictatorship, they don’t care about others or there feelings anymore. Everyone is competing with who has what when we are blessed too have anything.
Marcus Eli Ravage
April 19, 2023 at 9:13 pm
As a white woman, we should not be having children. Its the cool new luxury idea! AND ITS JUST FOR US!
Vinod Shahi
April 19, 2023 at 10:34 pm
What! Going against nature and thinking that it’s the norm is very silly.
Darin Barfield
April 19, 2023 at 10:50 pm
These are simple questions,
All young adults are asked, male & female, just as I asked my teenage daughter what job or career she thought she wanted to pursue later in her life, previously she has said she wanted to be a teacher, so I added “don’t you want to be a teacher anymore?”
If someone doesn’t want children, that’s fine, it’s not for everyone.
Although I’ve known a few people that said they didn’t want children to later own in their marriage change their mind.
Lots of people have no intention of ever getting Married,
Some prefer to just live the bachelor life,
While others might just shack up or live with their significant other,
I’m sure they have to field the question often by family & friends if they ever gonna marry, followed up with don’t you want to get married, etc…
If not necessarily people trying to force another any way or the other, it’s merely questions.
I have 2 beautiful daughters,
I would have loved to had 4-5 or maybe more children but God blessed me with 2,
I hope they find good husbands, and they make great loving mothers, as I would love to have grandchildren one day.
I’ll add, many people that sincerely want children can’t have them,
For medical reasons,
Or they do artificial insemenation or other methods to achieve a child,
Or they adopt,
But often they don’t have the blessings of parenthood despite their wishes to become a parent.
The love & joy I have received as a father is immeasurable,
And I hope I can get equally rewarded one day by spending quality time with my grandson and granddaughter one day.
S. Crane-Baderhi
April 20, 2023 at 1:21 am
I mean it’s just a economic choice at the end of the day. You can live a more financially independent life and do more but you may not have anyone to help you at the end of your days 🤷♂️. Kids are the ultimate investment, the ultimate gamble. If you can’t handle the risk you won’t get the rewards.
Sareaesque
April 20, 2023 at 5:40 am
having children does not guarantee that they will help you in your old age, and if you’re only having them as a ‘future investment’ then you’re less likely to have them stick around.
Austin Denotter
April 20, 2023 at 1:59 am
what a truly sad human being she must be
Zion Sky
April 20, 2023 at 4:56 am
Yep. Very sad.
Thomas Hiku
April 20, 2023 at 3:00 am
Funny how pushing these exceptions to the forefront favours the depopulation narrative. Is it based on the safety of humanity or the safety of self interests.
H K
April 20, 2023 at 3:43 am
言い方が強迫的だ。
Zion Sky
April 20, 2023 at 4:55 am
Wow she is fully crazy… the face expressions and stuff… so bizarre
Zion Sky
April 20, 2023 at 4:58 am
She lying to herself. She knows full well no one wanted kids with her.
Hisyam khair
April 20, 2023 at 5:03 am
Every decision, choice and action we (men and women) make define who we are.
fragola
April 20, 2023 at 5:14 am
I want men to take as much care of kids as mothers and see how much they actually want kids.
SCI-FI Lover
April 20, 2023 at 7:22 am
What monster will bear a child in a world on fire?
Vulture Culture
April 21, 2023 at 6:23 pm
Ya it’s pretty fucking selfish to have kids rn.
The6thElement
April 20, 2023 at 8:19 am
My ex and I decided to not have children. I was told by a neighbor that I hate children. Others asked him if either of us were impotent. Thank you for presenting this. 👍
maynot
April 20, 2023 at 8:35 am
I never thought of this but just realized we talk to our daughter “if you get married, if you have kids”. I’m secretly proud of myself for not spewing these age old things forward. 😅
Othman Hamdan
April 20, 2023 at 9:26 am
Yes it should
Jacob Turnblom
April 20, 2023 at 11:03 am
If you don’t want kids, then don’t have them. As biological creatures, we have a general drive to reproduce, and our species to survive. Women have evolved with a nature to excel at creating and nurturing life. Its nuts how many people want to act like thats somehow a bad thing. Its not. Its pretty damn powerful. Crazy how many people want to condemn each other actions one way or another.
Vulture Culture
April 21, 2023 at 6:23 pm
No one says it’s a bad thing. Humans have evolved past a base nature like our primate cousins, we have a highly evolved sense of culture and sociality, which has hit a point where making women have children is seen as cruel and unnecessary, which it is. Being a mother is not required for women to exist.
D Y
April 20, 2023 at 11:36 am
Prepare for the Biological Clock… It’s an emotional trick, a mind-fuckery that will leave you mad once its effects wear off. It almost got me, but I understood it was a temporary feeling. It finally went away by my early forties, and now Hubby and I are such a happy childfree Family.🥰🥰🥰
Physics Floodgate
April 20, 2023 at 12:33 pm
I hate how women are misinterpreting the encouragement to have kids as people saying they need to. No its only because the biggest threat to the United states and any other superpower western or not is the underpopulation issue that noone seems to be aware about and that people are fooled into thinking we have OVER population. People are trying to promote ANYONE to have children because we need it or our country’s econony, Japan’s, Russia’s, South Korea’s economies will fall.
Vulture Culture
April 21, 2023 at 6:21 pm
Except people are telling women that they HAVE to have kids, that it’s what they were “made for.” And they are making healthcare and reproductive laws worldwide to enforce the idea. Ffs listen to women for a change.
Damian Ogrodnik
April 20, 2023 at 1:14 pm
This is populati0n contr0l pr0paganda.
Vulture Culture
April 21, 2023 at 6:20 pm
Except it’s not.
LIVE RIGHT NOW
April 20, 2023 at 2:49 pm
Yeah let’s just ignore how our choices impact everyone except ourselves.
FatBoy Runs
April 20, 2023 at 4:13 pm
Well of course it defines you. Every choice you make defines you in some way shape or form. I don’t mean this in a negative way BTW.
Daniel Harder
April 20, 2023 at 4:14 pm
Soo you’re triggered because someone said when instead of if? TF?
WOW, if i were you, i would be more wondering why you are so sensitive about it?
Vulture Culture
April 21, 2023 at 6:20 pm
Literally no one is triggered. Baby pressure is a real issue that a lot of men and women face in every culture.
kangkanjyoti barman
April 20, 2023 at 4:48 pm
Population collapse is coming with all these wokery idea 💡
Vulture Culture
April 21, 2023 at 6:19 pm
It’s literally not, we hit 8 billion people last year, were fucking fine.
kangkanjyoti barman
April 21, 2023 at 8:47 pm
@Vulture Culture ageing population in the developed countries.
Vulture Culture
April 22, 2023 at 11:38 pm
@kangkanjyoti barman lies. Gen z and millennials, both below age 45, are significantly bigger than boomers and the silent generations.
Shaun Rogers
April 20, 2023 at 6:33 pm
Murder is murder. The same way a person can choose to murder outside of the womb is the same as inside the womb. Both are wrong. It is a choice, between you and how you will stand before God when you give an account to him on why you chose to kill a baby.
Tam U
April 21, 2023 at 1:01 pm
How is your comment relevant to this video?
P R
April 20, 2023 at 9:50 pm
Agreed we are all human beings we can pic our own path
EMead
April 20, 2023 at 11:32 pm
It is ok not to want kids.
arpit mishra
April 21, 2023 at 6:30 am
If you marry, you should have children, otherwise don’t marry and don’t have children. Because once you marry it has to be decided mutually
Tam U
April 21, 2023 at 12:59 pm
“If you marry, you should have children, otherwise don’t marry and don’t have children.” who wrote this rule?
Vulture Culture
April 21, 2023 at 6:19 pm
You don’t need children to have a marriage.
arpit mishra
April 21, 2023 at 7:23 pm
I mean that when you marry then it should be mutual decision. Men cannot bear child otherwise the responsibility could have been split so women should act responsibly.
Brienz
April 21, 2023 at 8:53 am
I would appreciate if you could leave the full version in the comment. Thanks for the great inspiring talks btw.
Bradavon
April 21, 2023 at 1:15 pm
It’s as offensive, we don’t consider men would want children too.
BenGSynth
April 21, 2023 at 1:38 pm
Life ought to be so much than just replication and appeasing society.
Lacey and her stories
April 21, 2023 at 3:21 pm
Thank you for talking about this 🙏🏼 many people look at you with disappointment when you tell them you don’t like or want kids. Like that makes you a bad person. I hate that people won’t even accept that. You tell them million times with the “no” but they still manage to throw the “once you’ll have kids/daughter/son…” at you. People should pay more interest into their own lives than talking about someone else.
PLEASE just try to be nice to people, and help each other, that’s what matters 🙏🏼
SirGriefALot
April 22, 2023 at 12:33 am
Sounds like she’s trying to convince herself as much as anyone else.
Mr. Burr
April 22, 2023 at 3:08 pm
It is a choice. A choose that has completely collapsed our population pyramid, if nothing is done to grow our population. It’s gonna be a rough century
The Gain
April 22, 2023 at 4:48 pm
This speech is based on jealousy combined with feminism.
Shall we say she herself someone’s family