Have we lost the practical wisdom of what happens as people die? With lessons from a career witnessing thousands of people’s final breaths, palliative care expert Kathryn Mannix urges us to demystify the experience of death, sharing how a better understanding of what actually happens can reduce fear in the final days, for you and your loved ones.
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#TED #TEDTalks #death
@johnbee7729
December 28, 2023 at 9:51 am
What a brilliant and heart warming talk. I would hope that all who watch this will share it with their friends and loved ones. And if you cannot share the video, then share the message.
@sxybasturd
December 28, 2023 at 9:59 am
Her first statements are wrong .
@landedinlukla
December 28, 2023 at 10:20 am
This was so profound. I have not heard such a profound and relevant Talk in years.
@joependleton6293
December 28, 2023 at 10:23 am
Good talk thanks Ted.
@MrEerwin
December 28, 2023 at 10:27 am
Eloquent and beautiful, and Dr. Mannix’s perspective shows, one of the many broken parts of our culture, and the only viable way to make it better. Thanks for bringing this content to us.
@LimeGrapeTime
December 28, 2023 at 10:29 am
Wow. Just… Wow. My grandmother died last month and had a terrible two weeks before being put into hospice care. The things she was going through at the hospital scared me. But on her last day. I was the first one to get to the hospital and she was awake and alert. Sadly, she complained a lot about being in a lot of pain. The staff started giving her the pain meds and then it started. Everything she described started two weeks before she passed. But that breathing pattern… Exactly how she described it. I haven’t even cried about it yet. I’ve been avoiding that dark hole. But this almost got me there before I was able to catch it. Great vid. I wish someone was able to really talk to her about what was coming. I’m glad she isn’t suffering anymore. I’ll miss her cute gummy smile.
@tomster70
December 28, 2023 at 11:11 am
There are signs of death we all should be aware of and the last breath is not always as peaceful as you describe. Ones last exhale can sometimes be quite noticeable and unsettling to those nearby. Many hospice units have a small informative pamphlet on the signs and signals of impending death. The cues the human body shares that it is shutting down are nothing short of amazing. It is a systematic shutdown that nurses are very keen on. Exceptional nurses(angels in my book) see these signs further out then others. You may not see all of the cues but you will see enough to know where your loved one is along their path. I do agree we should know more and take back what we have given away to the healthcare system.
@gurvinderich
December 28, 2023 at 11:14 am
@drkathrynmannix what do you think about WISDOM – as an abbreviation – Why Eyes See the Doom ?
As you rightly described, in this sense WISDOM becomes an inquiry also that everyone should be encouraged to explore
@JKRoss-zm3zu
December 28, 2023 at 11:33 am
Какой актуальный вопрос. 😄
@suesmith102
December 28, 2023 at 11:36 am
I’m glad that people take comfort in those words when they are near the end of life, but it does seem like just words. Passing is a terrifying thing and we should accept it as that, you can’t sugarcoat fear because it’s the most primal and natural feeling
@ao6776
December 28, 2023 at 11:46 am
I want to do what I can because I am alive.
@keithtibbitts9947
December 28, 2023 at 12:13 pm
Burying the lede zzz
@karenpappin4017
December 28, 2023 at 12:52 pm
so glad I got too hear this TED talk, I read Kathryn’s book, With the End in Mind not long after my mum died and while it undid me in places it also gave me such beautiful insight into not only the dying process but how to carry grief.
@TheMrAPRise
December 28, 2023 at 1:15 pm
Beautiful…!!
@ashrafalam6075
December 28, 2023 at 1:18 pm
Respected, Enlightening Message. Life is Finite. Every stage is Transition. I don’t know how many Transition to end up in Heaven. It’s a case of Belief. French woman strong Belief that her husband is waiting in Heaven is true. Your Believes makes destiny.
@totalfreedom45
December 28, 2023 at 1:26 pm
_I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it._ ― Mark Twain
*_Without love and sense of humor there is unhappiness and life is meaningless._* 💕☮🌎🌌
@user-yv4gg7jb2f
December 28, 2023 at 1:36 pm
Really important speak 🙃
@BrianMcInnis87
December 28, 2023 at 1:42 pm
0:04 Tell that to the whales and dolphins.
@aldovalkovich755
December 28, 2023 at 2:03 pm
Touching and profound reflection. Thank you🙏
@jaywalker9985
December 28, 2023 at 4:23 pm
Family , Friends with alot of laughter. Nobody should go out ( miserable)!
@alexhigginbotham8635
December 28, 2023 at 4:33 pm
The problem today is that there is nearly no need to die. Progress has been made to the point that people can live much longer than they do… but treatments make more money than cures… so the rights to cures are bought by corporation and hidden away. Death is a bug… not a feature. Today we are forced to die due to a multitude of nonsense reasons. People should, if possible, be allowed to live as long as they choose to. If a person has a ‘faith’ and wants to die… let them. But no one should be ‘in charge’ of how long I live. Everyone should have the freedom, should it exist, to decide when their end comes. One day the slaves will open their eyes and see the masters.
@Thalamus4
December 28, 2023 at 6:52 pm
This describes with 100% accuracy what I experienced when my mother passed. She spent her last year in “elderly home”, gradually getting weaker. Visited her on a semi regular basis. The night after new years, I was met by a nurse, when I arrived. She said, your mother will most probably die during the night. Called my sister, and we stayed with her until the last breath. She was very aware that we where there, but, kept falling in and out. Now I know, she wasn’t in pain, so, thank you for explaining.
@TamerAbdel
December 28, 2023 at 7:19 pm
Absolutely Beautiful.
@nestorrfortuna1
December 28, 2023 at 8:05 pm
I worked in hospice for years. Helped lots of people to live the best they could… And countless family members to be prepared, cope and live good too.
The best time in my life😂
@annteve
December 28, 2023 at 8:54 pm
Feeling near the end of her life my mother asked me to come home to attend her. Her wish was to die at home. My father had passed away at home nearly 20 years earlier (I had moved home to attend my father in his last two years of life as well.) In her final months, I had to shield her from incredible pressure exerted by my siblings to institutionalise her as they felt—against mother’s repeated pleas to pass at home—it “would be better for her”. She pass peacefully in her sleep in her own bed in her own home. We have to respect the wishes of dying—I did. Only one of four siblings has spoken to me since. Such is the cost of caring.
@ionagibbons9906
December 28, 2023 at 9:01 pm
What a brilliant Ted talk beautiful and real ❤
@deeliciousplum
December 29, 2023 at 12:24 am
As the primary caregiver of a late in the winter of their years parent, this Kathryn talk touched all of me. We’ve been through numerous hospital stays where my parent experienced close brushes with death. As well as, we’ve watched as nearby elderly patients experience, what appears to be, being abandoned by family. Being left to suffer in unfamiliar hospital rooms where shortages of hospital staff is the norm. At the very least, I wish for my parent to expel their last of life’s breaths without the burden of pain nor discomfort. Yet, I am not in control of those things. Wishing lots of love and more to all who are experiencing the last of life’s stages of a loved family member and/or of a friend. 🌺
@angeladawn805
December 29, 2023 at 1:40 am
This is simply beautiful. Thank you.
How, in a world with so much technology, have we let ourselves become so disconnected?😔
@Viertelfranzose
December 29, 2023 at 1:49 am
Animals comes to the other Side after the Death
@fkmyoutube
December 29, 2023 at 3:58 am
Is it just me, or do I find her voice captivating and beautiful?
@nohandle62
December 29, 2023 at 5:18 am
Right before Dad stopped breathing he got “agitated”. He started kicking. We were told this might happen. No one knows why the dying do this.
@bhattashantosh
December 29, 2023 at 7:48 am
few months back my 92 year old grand father passed away and in at his last hour i have experience what the speaker had tell in above talks. first of all breathing reflex was slow and it moves upward and last it goes by mouth although he had a desire to alive for few years and witness many this.
@nasrinmita1329
December 29, 2023 at 12:27 pm
I love her pronunciation ❤
@dbunnysport
December 29, 2023 at 8:31 pm
Thank you.
Beautifully told.
And I appreciate knowing this. ❤
@niccolom
December 29, 2023 at 9:29 pm
Could you let us know how the process is different for people who die of lung diseases, such as Covid?
I imagine the reflex breathing would be affected.
@zenstoryshare
December 29, 2023 at 9:41 pm
Facing mortality together opened a vulnerable space where patients could finally release unspoken worries and find a surprising strength in facing the inevitable.
@RIXRADvidz
December 29, 2023 at 10:04 pm
Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer has me educating myself on the dying process. How long after diagnosis? What happens as things start to shut down, how long does it take for things to shut down completely, I’m in palliative care, the breathing thing is very informative and helpful, with my apnea mask, the thing will ding when I don’t breathe. Bye. ! LOL
I’m not afraid of Death, we’ve been very close over the years, he stops by and we laugh about olde times and then he gets a call and has to leave, maybe the next time he’ll take me. Seriously, when you’re dead, there’s nothing to do, no obligations, just one deadline, YOURS. LOL We all get to die, eventually, some sooner than others, like me ! Enjoy your life but live it well so you can enjoy it, don’t pollute your body with fast food and contaminant intoxicants, Eat your veg, smoke some dope and be happy, not sad. about death.
@JustReed
December 29, 2023 at 10:25 pm
Beautifully said! Manmade religions are what separates humanity from truth. Believe in the story instead. The fear will make YOU believe. I’m now an Ex-Christain for 21 years. Humanity needs to evolve past the Dark Age of perception. Evolve people, evolve!
@WyoTeacherDude
December 29, 2023 at 11:08 pm
Thank you. This was a remarkable talk.
@menhera2
December 30, 2023 at 12:44 am
Very nice talk 😊
@acdebiase
December 30, 2023 at 5:07 am
One of the most beautiful talks I’ve seen. Thank you so much.
@sarahbatsford4791
December 30, 2023 at 7:30 am
Brilliant. As a once hospital worker I witness in ICU dying people hooked up to drips & I thought surely when people are going through the death process it must be natural as the body shuts down. If the patient is being drip fed during this process then the dying is difficult.
@misdrevenous
December 30, 2023 at 10:45 am
My mother died just 8 days ago 12/22/23 after being admitted to a government hospital here in the Philippines since 11/10/23.
She was diagnosed with Stage IV Lung Cancer last 11/18/18, and we have been battling cancer for more than 5 years now. When I brought my mom to the hospital last 11/10/23, I knew deep in my heart that it’s her final days. What I did not expect is all the suffering and malpractice that we get at the hands of the doctors.
Despite being a terminal patient, the hospital did not allow my mom to receive visitors. We were placed in a ward with recovering patients, and the hospital had a strict covid protocol.
They did not allow us to change watchers. I had to complain several times to the hospital management, until they eventually allowed my mom to receive 1 visitor every other day for just 10 mins. They eventually allowed us to change watchers every 4 days.
My mom suffered greatly in that hospital, she died thinking that her family abandoned her. The hospital staff were understaffed and overworked. Most of them are unsympathetic and cannot provide adequate care to the patients. Sometimes they would remove my mom’s pain medications because her blood pressure is dropping too low. We pleaded to the doctors so many times to prioritize giving my mom comfort. We pleaded the doctors to move us to a private room. We pleaded the doctors to move us to a ward where we can visit her often. It did not happen.
My mom had a stroke on 12/21/23 and during this time I was allowed by the doctor to care directly for my mom. I requested multiple times to have her sedated so that she can relax and finally die in comfort and with dignity, the doctor said there is no need to sedate her anymore because stroke patients do not feel anything anymore. My mom cannot move or talk anymore, but whenever i talk to her, she cries. Whenever our relatives video call her, she cries. That’s a person who can still feel.
I am very disappointed with this hospital staff, I requested multiple times for help in changing her diapers, the nursing aid kept on telling me to wait, but he never came to assist.
My mama died at around 10:30 pm after I talked to her to let go and join her mama and papa and brother if they are already there for her. I promised to her that I will always protect my sister and never fight with her. After that I took a shower, and when I came back, my mama is already dead.
All we ever wanted was to give my mom a comfortable and dignified passing, I feel so bad for not being able to give it to my mama. I am so sorry mama 😭
@TheHIOJK
December 30, 2023 at 11:58 am
Beautifully said, thank you
@RevEricEvans
December 30, 2023 at 12:26 pm
Thank you for sharing this. I totally agree. In the last few days my dad’s life, he went through some things that were difficult to watch. I happen to come across a video from a hospice nurse who explained some of the things that I was seeing, and it helped me so much. She help me understand that what he was going through was not something that he needed to be rescued from but that was a very natural part of his dying.
@user-lc9tk1yd9y
December 30, 2023 at 1:48 pm
Beautiful!
@im_giogaudet
December 30, 2023 at 3:14 pm
I bet she is SCORPION ♏ by horoscope
@rebecca4958
December 30, 2023 at 4:38 pm
Having held my fathers hand as he passed away, this is exactly how it happened and was so beautifully peaceful, it felt so pure and tranquil and so thank you for trying to explain a persons last terminal breath with such compassion, respect and understanding xx
@ceotness
December 30, 2023 at 4:46 pm
Thank you for this very necessary presentation. We have a death and dying guild in our spiritual community. Our spiritual teacher, Adi Da Samraj, wrote a book entitled “Easy Death”. it was hailed as a masterpiece by the death and dying pioneer Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. The book goes into great detail regarding the process of death for those who wish to further explore this most fundamental life matter.
@jaynemoss3706
December 31, 2023 at 5:14 am
Having watched three people in my life die and take that last breath I’ve thought each time “well, anyone can do that”, quite comforting
@billballeza377
December 31, 2023 at 8:50 am
After you die people come to your house and eat potato salad, then your e-mail slowly tapers off.
@FM-lo9vv
December 31, 2023 at 11:31 am
That’s the experience of death of someone watching a dying person. If you want to get insights into the first-person experience and prepare, read through the Tibetan Book of the Dead.
@speakrussian6779
December 31, 2023 at 12:48 pm
The same as we fall asleep.
@moblue2899
December 31, 2023 at 3:14 pm
To stop death and the circle of death you should stop having kids
@tagantchikova.natalia
December 31, 2023 at 7:06 pm
Our family experiencing criminal actions many times during 3 decades after privatization of apartments in Russia when lonely living elderly were subjects of attempts of slow killing by their neighbors (paid by so called “dark realtors”), with fumes of smth. smells like sugar (insecticide), or smels like kerosene, or freon that make you feel cold and sleepy because of inertial gas remove oxygen from lungs…
In one case we managed to save grand woman at the ege of 80 and she had lived after that event 12 years… Neighbors who did bad thigs quickly died (been killed by criminals).
@behrouzchegeni9188
December 31, 2023 at 7:25 pm
Beautiful
@user-wp4ju4hp5w
December 31, 2023 at 10:13 pm
If this helps anyone. Days before my Dad died he was talking outloud to his deceased mother!!!
@jadedmonk7001
December 31, 2023 at 10:56 pm
To anyone who found this TedTalk helpful and/or relevant: check out “Being Mortal” by Atul Gawande. It is written by a surgeon who experienced both sides of issue when he watched his father’s decline. The book is excellent and deals with the issue of mortality with profound insight.
@booJay
January 1, 2024 at 4:04 am
I can’t be the only one looking forward to this.
@theoptimistic9282
January 1, 2024 at 9:59 am
Thanks doc for this enlightenment 🙏
@saammahakala
January 1, 2024 at 2:38 pm
Are you kidding me?
Like any of you, “educated minds” have a clue about what experienced characters can perceive without resorting to religion, voodoo or mysticism!!!
@chrish3505
January 1, 2024 at 7:17 pm
I stayed with my dad for hes last 4 days 7 months ago.. i was cuddling him and watched him take hes last breath. Will stay with me forever. Blessed i got to be there with my dad. Love him and miss him so much 💞
@Claus-dx2qy
January 2, 2024 at 5:19 am
Ain’t we rather afraid of suffering to death?
@TaimazHavadar
January 2, 2024 at 8:57 am
❤
@allenculbertson8170
January 2, 2024 at 9:07 am
Just so you know I’m all man. A real man ♂️
@allenculbertson8170
January 2, 2024 at 9:21 am
Over 2 years ago or so my friend Melvin said check out a Ted talk. I’m glad I listened to him. I’ve been listening ever since amazing talks. Thank you Melvin
@christiansmith-of7dt
January 2, 2024 at 10:19 am
Ultimate pain and suffering a thousand times worse than any pain you could feel while you are living
@burburchacha
January 2, 2024 at 2:10 pm
啋! 大吉利是!
@phyliciajoykloes
January 2, 2024 at 3:04 pm
This is very interesting. Thank you for sharing your knowledge! I did not ever consider the brain’s activity to continue the breathing as well as how the last breath really goes. Very interesting.
@mindcache5650
January 2, 2024 at 7:41 pm
Having witnessed members of my family, including my mother , disintegrating before me with cancer it’s not pleasant. I’ve made my mind up. Cancer = hassle : for everyone. Given a diagnosis that’s probably terminal I’m going to be euthanised so I don’t affect anyone else. I can’t see the problem. We quite easily take our pets to the Vets to be put to sleep to spare their agony. Why not humans ? This is my own opinion and wishes and is not intended for medical advice to anyone except me.
@skonther0ck
January 2, 2024 at 9:29 pm
Ojeezuz. Religion continues to torment you even as you die.
@sankalikar3605
January 3, 2024 at 2:31 am
Humans don’t really understand the transition. Hollywood finale waw..This is overdramatised discription of a person’s death and nothing more.
@niloo_atribecalledlove
January 3, 2024 at 10:16 am
I have been witness two one natural death. And that was my senior 17 year old kitty. 💔❤️🩹 I have done hospice for one human but I wasn’t there for the moment of his passing. We need to demistify death. 🪷
@askeemee6530
January 3, 2024 at 9:50 pm
As a Muslim, I am quite surprised because it turns out that for people who are not Muslims death seems like a foreign thing and taboo. We Muslims always talk about death, even with children, and we already know the process of death and what happens after people die. For us Death is not a stranger and taboo
@A.C.Albert930
January 4, 2024 at 4:34 am
People often refuse to talk about mortality but ignore the fact that we are all facing it. Thank you so much for your sharing Kathryn.
@ze-ke3743
January 4, 2024 at 8:36 am
日本語字幕が欲しいです😢
@adriancostea2357
January 4, 2024 at 11:13 am
EXCEPTIONNEL !
@ravindertawni
January 4, 2024 at 11:13 am
Many thanks to Ms Kathryn for such a fantastic talk. Such talk connects human beings to their roots/nature.
@abrahamlim13345678
January 4, 2024 at 3:50 pm
The speaker is still alive, why is she claims to be a expert
@AntonioVergine
January 4, 2024 at 7:37 pm
“human beings are the only animal capable of…” (as always, an unproved assertion follows)
@garyjohnpeterson9954
January 4, 2024 at 7:54 pm
Out of 100s of Ted’s that I’ve watched, Is this the most profound?
@ellenignatius6030
January 4, 2024 at 8:07 pm
I sat with & cared for my father as he was dying. In last hours before death he was in a coma. He had asked to be placed in his favorite chair before he went into a coma. In last hour he opened his eyes very wide staring in front of of him. His eyes then squinted as if he was looking into a very bright light. He then reached out his arms straight in front of him as if beckoning someone. He then began to move his mouth as if talking, but no verbal noise. After a moment he slowly closed his eyes, lowered his arms & fell into the final peaceful sleep & he died about several hours later. It was beautiful – his family who had gone before him were coming for him & he crossed over into another realm.
@mylesreza9496
January 5, 2024 at 12:50 am
My 76 yo Australian lady friend (no kids, no partner) just passed away this Wednesday
January 3, 2024.
Colon cancer,
12months on Chemo.
One month in Hospital
as a palliative stage.
She loves Christmas
so I visited her on
Christmas day and
boxing day, tuesday
after New year 2024. Wednesday afternoon
is gone. Before
she passed away
I’ve got all the
GOODBYE connection.
I connected the energy
to her friends who didn’t
know she is in hospital.
20 years as friend.😢
❤❤❤
@Cyrusmagi
January 5, 2024 at 1:01 am
You end up looking like the walking dead, like this lady because she was not illuminated by the best light!
@OdenWoden
January 5, 2024 at 2:35 am
People who pretend to know what happens when I die are nothing more than conartists. People who lie to your face for a pathetic ego and profit…🥱
@atifcapital
January 5, 2024 at 7:31 am
I wish I could understand British accent 😢
@leoblack8497
January 5, 2024 at 9:39 am
I guess it’s something the Gazans don’t get to experience.
@kanjacat
January 5, 2024 at 2:48 pm
I was hours away from death, a decade ago. A terrible misdiagnosis led me there. I had accepted that I was going to die. But a very smart surgeon (even though he said later that the life-saving surgery was touch-and-go), saved my life. I will always be grateful. The thing that I find difficult now, is letting go of that feeling of being near death. It’s as if I have one foot in life, and one in death.
@saadsubhi3767
January 5, 2024 at 3:49 pm
As death comes closer everyday, we at least should stop being rude, unjust to others. Why not spending life with forgiveness and consideration!! just sad to see wars in many corners of the world.
@marciegould8698
January 5, 2024 at 8:35 pm
Well done Kathryn Mannix. I’m a hospice nurse. I explain dying to people as well. When done well, we relieve fear. I tell people that hospice workers rarely fear the act of dying. (Not that we are ready.) Most deaths are peaceful events.
@marisamcguire3911
January 5, 2024 at 10:28 pm
As a retired RN … I say AMEN & thank you!
@Venus29
January 6, 2024 at 4:18 am
It’s not always like that. My mum was in a hospice and her back was arched, her head was contorted backwards, and we couldn’t put her body in a comfortable position. Plus she’d lost that much weight her eyes were open, and couldn’t even be closed after she passed. It was horrific. Yet my dad passed just as Kathryn described. It could be a good death, but after seeing my poor mum, that’s scared me so much, that I’d never want my children to see that.
@m.t727
January 6, 2024 at 7:02 am
My mom just passed away 2 weeks ago. She was drifting in and out of sleep and kept moaning and groaning in the last few days. I thought she was in pain, but now I know it was just her breathing through the mouth. Thanks for clarifying it, Dr. Mannix!
@LetAfghanGilrsLearn
January 6, 2024 at 8:41 am
Sadly, I have witnessed the pain of death of my strong uncle. He had cancer and it shrinked him into bones. I was there with him for three days and nights. What impressed me that his strong faith in God has made that journey easy for him. All I can say, death is a bitter truth and one day we will all taste it but the faith plays a vital role in dying.
@TomaGonzalez
January 6, 2024 at 12:02 pm
I grew up in country Georgia where people died in their homes and afterwards the diseases is at your home for 7 days as a funeral takes place. I just lost my close friend neighbor who was 92 and her daughter in law described to me exactly what you just said happened as she passed away. She slipped away in a night after being bedridden for a month and sleeping for most is that time and not eating much. People in America do not talk about dying if mentioned, it’s followed by “God forbid”. But God allows it just like birth so we need to know the signs. Thanks for this wonderful video!!!
@dickhughes861
January 6, 2024 at 3:46 pm
Crows know when of their flock is dead and how it became dead. They avoid circumstances that can result in their death. It is stupid to say that animals know about their own death. They just don’t yammer on about it. I have heard enough from this woman.