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Giving up control of your finances — voluntarily or otherwise — can leave you powerless and, in some cases, confined to a cycle of abuse. In this personal talk, accountant Estelle Gibson shares her own story of recovering from financial dependence and provides actionable advice to empower others who desire the freedom that comes with being responsible for your own money.
The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design — plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. You’re welcome to link to or embed these videos, forward them to others and share these ideas with people you know. For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), submit a Media Request here:
Artem Pogulyayko
June 23, 2020 at 8:01 pm
8 minutes wasted. General talks about nothing.
Bharat Harry
June 23, 2020 at 8:15 pm
Wow Tiger Lady
Found wisdom of finance
But failed by Fiance
That sums up who is stupid indeed
Jabby
June 23, 2020 at 8:21 pm
this is really true. thank you
Risha Bharathan
June 23, 2020 at 8:29 pm
Not once did she lose me… Information packed 9 mins! Brilliant talk!
Mister Frugal - Ofir Cohen
June 23, 2020 at 10:23 pm
Definitely one of the best….
EmpowerWE
June 23, 2020 at 8:48 pm
An engaging speaker.. we really should not lose our independence while depending on others.
monika kluzova
June 23, 2020 at 9:24 pm
I can’t agree more with you
Mister Frugal - Ofir Cohen
June 23, 2020 at 10:24 pm
So true!!!!
titus limbu
June 23, 2020 at 8:55 pm
Loving of money is the root of all problems. But the Lack of money is the creation of every problems.
RICH DAD.
Mister Frugal - Ofir Cohen
June 23, 2020 at 10:26 pm
Problems always will be… I prefer rich problems…
Butt Socks
June 23, 2020 at 8:56 pm
UBI
NOW
PB
June 23, 2020 at 9:07 pm
That would certainly help!
Home Wall
June 23, 2020 at 10:15 pm
Ah, a preference for dependence, depending on all others who are forced to have less for their families so you can have more you didn’t earn.
Mr. Morningstar
June 23, 2020 at 11:10 pm
So….become financially dependent upon the government?
Sunshine Mee
June 23, 2020 at 8:56 pm
WOW. She is fabulous. I am financially dependent and I feel desperate and beaten down, helpless every minute of every day. I am stressed out 24/7.
Gilmourish Gilmourish
June 23, 2020 at 9:20 pm
Maybe time for change?
Koozomec
June 23, 2020 at 9:29 pm
You can draw a parallel between financial independance and liberty vs security
Mister Frugal - Ofir Cohen
June 23, 2020 at 10:29 pm
You can still make a different!
Halyna Sher
June 23, 2020 at 9:03 pm
Please get loose your weight because any money can’t safe your life!
Sorry I tell you about that publicly I d like you be safe in this wonderful life! I share my experience with you as you share it with me.
Thank you
Stan Zaa
June 23, 2020 at 9:43 pm
Wow that’s all you took from that??
BANGBUTTON
June 23, 2020 at 10:52 pm
Wow what a vapid thing to say to a woman who is discussing the abusive qualities of a dependent relationship. That says a lot about you.
Gilmourish Gilmourish
June 23, 2020 at 9:17 pm
I think many are dependent on wealthy men … you need character to be miserable in a wealthy situation. Hence, when you need a good cry and it’s raining it’s better to be in a Mercedes than on a bike!
I have never let anyone take care of me. I pay my own way. Being in an abusive relationship where he throws money like nothing but I wouldn’t let him pay for my bill at the store. But he paid his way in with an ex, paying weekends with her family and paying her groceries. When we were first together he wanted to put my telephone number on his account and he would pay for it … for me to be controlled?? No, no no.. I pay my own bills. I left 16 months ago.. useless to say the ex moved in with him. Love to see how that works out in 5 years when he’s fed up and closes the money tap.
I don’t have much but what I have is mine !
Christopher Walken
June 23, 2020 at 9:45 pm
You, I can respect. Independent and not crying on anyone’s shoulder.
But this happens in the opposite way as well.
Look at Hillary and Bill! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Gilmourish Gilmourish
June 23, 2020 at 10:04 pm
Christopher Walken : I don’t have any shoulders to cry on anyway. I learned the hard way and today, I am happy. And it sure does happen the opposite way. I agree.
Kirstin Strand
June 23, 2020 at 9:32 pm
When I got married, I gave ALL money decisions to my husband. I did not want to spend my time arguing with him! Money must be discussed prior to making any commitment!
Mister Frugal - Ofir Cohen
June 23, 2020 at 10:18 pm
I’m hoping we all learn how to manage our money ourselves… So important to get educated about money when you young… It’s shocking me how Tabu is that subject…
Home Wall
June 23, 2020 at 10:19 pm
No mention of all who prefer financial dependence on government money?
Paul Kennedy
June 23, 2020 at 10:20 pm
Very very intresing Im impresse thanks my regards ma
X Æ A-12
June 23, 2020 at 10:43 pm
Great lecture, except the guy in the audience @:37 is the real pandemic patient zero .
BANGBUTTON
June 23, 2020 at 10:59 pm
This is relevant for many people in today’s world. I enjoyed this presentation and believe it was well explained.
bars bek
June 23, 2020 at 11:03 pm
this is too generic, should elaborate a bit more, and give several examples instead of just one personal. sounds like lack of research
Karlos Khaos
June 23, 2020 at 11:05 pm
Collective economic capital punishment
Mental State Music
June 23, 2020 at 11:14 pm
Lovely. The disease of more. Stop chasing that dragon and become your own species. 💛
Honest Person
June 23, 2020 at 11:16 pm
Great financial advice – don’t marry a woman with college debt.
Ahmed Hassan
June 23, 2020 at 11:23 pm
One can’t speak of financial dependence without speaking of sources of income, and if none is available, there can’t be a real financial discussion, and that entails some specifics specially with some workers who might have limited skills, very few opportunities in an ever growing population and time limitations especially with children and low income workers, it can be a dilemma when it comes to balancing work and other activities financially. It’s not that simple, but her points have truth and although very simplified are also appreciated.
yepisuredolikecats
June 23, 2020 at 11:33 pm
my parents are paying for my college education, for which i’m very grateful. but they’re paying for a degree i don’t want: nursing. they want me to work my butt off getting my nursing degree, and then they say i can do what i want. except, nursing school is so, so much harder than i ever could’ve expected. i’m not sure i can convince myself to somehow get this incredibly difficult degree i don’t feel any passion for. whenever i try to talk about it i don’t feel listened to. in fact, my mother sometimes makes me feel bad about considering a different career path. so, i feel guilted into pursing it. i am completely financially dependent on them, and they are choosing my future. i don’t know what to do.
Miao Miao
June 24, 2020 at 12:06 am
Do you have idea which degree you are going to pursue ? What you passionate about? Why do they want you to pursue only nursing degree. Maybe can try to discuss with them again about it..
AJBtheSuede
June 23, 2020 at 11:53 pm
So what does this talk say about the relationship between the state and the individuals that are financially dependent on the state? 🙂
princess 19
June 23, 2020 at 11:59 pm
Subtitle Indonesia please
Big John
June 24, 2020 at 1:27 am
Financial abuse cuts both ways.
freesk8
June 24, 2020 at 6:43 am
Malcolm X warned against the emasculating and manipulative dependency of welfare programs. Similar kind of thing. Abusive husband state.
Happiest Moment
June 24, 2020 at 6:54 am
From Happiest Moment YouTube channel ..
Hi amazing and beautiful person reading this comment right now have a wonderful day and God bless you always 😊😊☺☺
Panya Rerksakunchai
June 24, 2020 at 7:08 am
Want kikoff
Panya Rerksakunchai
June 24, 2020 at 7:10 am
Google it?
Yue Rain
June 24, 2020 at 9:14 am
a problem that many of us are facing today. didn’t know that there is a thing called finiancial abuse until I found out resources online. one can be making money but still get emotional manipulated to hand over the money to the other person.
Mario Rumrich
June 24, 2020 at 9:53 am
financial education should be taught in school.
mind waves
June 24, 2020 at 10:00 am
financially depend: stay at home parasites feeling the heat yallz.
Drowsypanther85
June 24, 2020 at 11:02 am
You should absolutely invite Homestead Tessie to do a TED talk, really inspiring.
Huda Jutt
June 24, 2020 at 12:17 pm
James Smith
June 24, 2020 at 12:34 pm
The amount of people that get married/move in together that either
a.) Have never heard of what a joint banking account is
b.) Do know and purposely don’t have one for their own secret, selfish gain
is incredible.Before my wife and I were married and were engaged we changed all our accounts to one singular, shared account. We also set up alerts on our phones to let us know immediately through text what’s going on with our money.
Stop believing that people have the best intentions for you and will “handle” your money correctly; especially when you don’t know them or are under the impression “well I’m romantically involved why wouldn’t I trust them”?
If somone, after meeting them, falling in love, etc. AGGRESSIVELY defends not having a joint bank account, HUGE red flag I would seriously reevaluate the relation at that point. If it’s all built on trust….why wouldn’t you want to share everything and not have secrets? Go listen to even three episodes of Dave Ramsey (internationally known financial guru) and you’ll have someone calling in with a “my spouse doesn’t know I have 80K in credit card debt, what do I do” story in one of those three. It’s just not worth it to leave things as they are.
Nefsart Nefcomics
June 24, 2020 at 5:46 pm
I would never have a joint account because I want my money to be my problems and her money her problems. Like I’ll openly show my balance and stuff, but I’m not going to give her access to it. It’s mine.
Sophe Abdulrahman
June 24, 2020 at 1:20 pm
thanks TED ❤❤❤🌹🌹
it's me Mr Awesome x-
June 24, 2020 at 1:30 pm
Its true that until you destroy all ur money blocks you cannot be truly rich. 😒
#Inner wealth is 1st step. 🔑
Ifeyinwa Jennifer
June 24, 2020 at 3:09 pm
Gripping. I would like to teach my nieces and nephews about financial literacy. That will be my legacy
Disruptive Times
June 24, 2020 at 3:26 pm
What? A chick comments on the bad effects of welfare dependence? Oh, never mid.
honestly me
June 24, 2020 at 6:12 pm
What? An idiot decides to check out Ted talks? Oh, never “mid”.
Sue_ ll
June 24, 2020 at 3:28 pm
Great! Now I’m in the category of FINANCIAL ABUSE
Natalia GM
June 24, 2020 at 3:40 pm
Yeah!
Leandro Ribeiro
June 24, 2020 at 4:32 pm
You are financial dependent because you´re a slave of your materialistics desires!
Varun Sharma
June 24, 2020 at 5:15 pm
I also want to become independent.. .
sheetalp91
June 24, 2020 at 6:17 pm
The talk was very informative. The speaker is engaging. I want to add that I like her dressing sense
Anal Eyes Analyze Anal Lies
June 24, 2020 at 6:34 pm
Naive mistake.
Charu Lohia
June 24, 2020 at 7:17 pm
Just didn’t justify the topic
Kevin C
June 24, 2020 at 7:37 pm
Money CAN buy happiness. Hear me out…
Happiness can be measured as “Gross Happiness” and “Net Happiness”. Net Happiness = (Gross Happiness – Unhappiness).
Some unhappiness comes from inability to pay bills, buy food, and obtain a reasonable level of comfort.
Money can buy happiness insofar as it can remove those specific sources of unhappiness, thereby increasing Net Happiness.
But no, money cannot buy Gross Happiness. It can never raise your total available happiness pool. It can only remove problems that take other happiness away from you.
Ajeeta Singh
June 24, 2020 at 7:58 pm
As if she is talking about me
Emma Madison
June 24, 2020 at 8:33 pm
Money is the root of all evil
Money: aight am out
Financial problems: Do u miss me
Melissa0774
June 24, 2020 at 10:12 pm
I’ve never understood this whole idea of completely giving up control of the money to one person, especially in situations where a married couple both work. My parents never did that. They both worked for the majority or their marriage, and my mom had her own checking account. She’d pay some bills and my dad would be responsible for others. It’s just the pattern they fell into because it’s what worked for them. To me, to do it any other way, would just be weird.
Ashnah Khalid Khan
June 25, 2020 at 2:58 am
Growing up, I’ve always had this insatiable want for becoming one of the breadwinners in the house. I’m 19 and still haven’t been able to get a single job because over here, high school summer jobs or student part time jobs are 99.99% un – existent. These things should be taught in school. These are the real lessons we youngsters need to know
Kunu yashodha
June 25, 2020 at 4:31 am
It was very meaningful to me thank you madam for speaking about this issue
*I Love You 3000*
June 25, 2020 at 5:16 am
They just re-uploaded this…But this is so powerful.
Natalia Gorkunowa
June 25, 2020 at 6:04 am
Нет субтитров. Обманули
Hawksbay Poetry
June 25, 2020 at 7:31 am
im from pakistan
Gidi
June 25, 2020 at 10:16 am
This feels like one of many dependencies we create, and something has to be said on what lessons are there for the young adult about managing their lives with & without dependencies.
Conclusions from general dependency process should help us solve this FINANCIAL dependency.
My feeling is that it stands in the cross section of a few systems we take part in (or following Piaget notion of life, what are these games that we are
playing in this dependency problem?)
1. Handling the information, to be able to handle the financial mathematics one needs to study
2. Handling the conversations with people in regard to the subject above
3. Handling systems of people.
… I guess I could go on.
Now, that I feel you can imagine the complexity involved.
We really needs maps and tools to help us navigate the games/systems/..
We need to educate kids on the dependency games, so skills can be acquired.
And we need our community to present us with opportunities to have more pieces of our lives under our control.
TO ALL SPEAKERS: PLEASE SHOW US THE SYSTEM INFORMATION NOT ONLY YOUR WAY OUT.
A GOOD CONVERSATION FOCUS ON EXPLAINING THE ISSUE OVER MANY SYSTEMS AND HOW THEY INTERACT – NOT BY GIVING A SOLUTION.
A PERSON WHO HEARS A GOOD CONVERSATION, WILL BE PRODUCING THE PROPER SOLUTIONS.
This is a GOOD lecture, but I would choose my words better. watch out: saying “you can start …”, “you should share….”, this is really talks to a small section of people. Those decision, also any financial decision relies on much more than the “math” of the finance or the “social benefit expectation”, so keep in mind. (consider emotional dependency constraints, it’s always about compromises, not a specific action of sharing or informing).
REALLY WANT AN INFORMATION PICTURE TO HELP REMEMBER THE SYSTEMS INVOLVED AND HOW.
Ambika knl
June 25, 2020 at 3:28 pm
Financial abuse is indeed an invisible weapon . Powerful talk👍
ITouchTheSky 8GladysWorld8
June 25, 2020 at 7:52 pm
Thank you so much for talking about saving money and sharing your personal story. I remember my mother, who taught me to save money and put it apart in the future. Lovely watching and listening to you here on the top of the mountain of Italy.
Justin Chiodini
June 26, 2020 at 6:22 am
Hypocritical and ignorant. We are always financially dependent on somebody weather we choose to acknowledge that or not.
In fact all of your finances are dependent on the actions of others weather your a so called self made CEO of a fortune five hundred company or somebody just
trying to scrape by in a menial job. If nobody buys your products then you are certainly in financial trouble. No matter how hard you work in your menial job, you can be fired at any moment. Though you can pick yourself up by trying to put your energy in new places we are always financially dependent on others.
Best to realize first what true wealth is.
self mastery.
RohitGTA
June 26, 2020 at 3:42 pm
Reading
June 26, 2020 at 5:01 pm
HAVE TO BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT.
HAVE YO BE FINANCIALLY LITERATE.
HAVE TO BE FINANCIALLY STRONG AND CONFIDENT.
NO QUESTIONS ASKED.
Cleo P
June 26, 2020 at 10:56 pm
Hmm… not revolutionary…
ANNIHILATOR
June 27, 2020 at 6:17 pm
amazing talk..I never lost focus during her speech she has the gift of clarity .
kerberospanzer
June 29, 2020 at 7:03 am
Listen