When women lead, bias often follows. Documentarian Robin Hauser dives into the dilemma between competence and likability faced by women in leadership roles, detangling the unconscious beliefs and gendered thinking that distort what it means to be a good leader.
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Nicola
May 19, 2022 at 2:50 pm
Once they wanted to be likeable, now they just rant
Sean Harbinger
May 19, 2022 at 2:50 pm
I think you can eliminate gender from the discussion, precocious energy is rarely well received by non family members. Of course this is likely a larger problem for women but true disruption might have more to do with awareness of behavioral models in general. Also, as someone in fintech, I might also say ‘it’s complicated’ just to avoid having that particular boring language come out of my mouth, audience not withstanding.
Alazo TM
May 19, 2022 at 3:09 pm
Around all concert i understand about 20% hfhfhfhaha
BaresarkSlayne
May 19, 2022 at 3:10 pm
Ah yes, the sexism of not having your time wasted with a bad real estate deal. I have had multiple female bosses in my life, the only not likeable ones were the incompetent sort. Other times, I had female bosses that were totally competent and good at their jobs and I very much liked them as bosses and even work friends. I have never had a boss, male or female, that this has been different for. No one likes an incompetent boss. I think my current boss, who is a guy, is competent, likeable, and a bit of a pushover if someone wants to take advantage, which I don’t like. In my limited experience, the women who are bad bosses make these claims the most, that I’m tough but fair and that makes men uncomfortable. This usually comes with a lot of negative aspects a boss can have, all bosses, the chief among them being micro managers. I don’t deny sexism is an issue in some work places, I don’t deny that there are men out there that don’t like a strong confident woman as a boss and find them inherently unlikeable. I take issue with this idea that it’s this thing that is everywhere all the time still. If you don’t acknowledge progress has been made in a given area, you have an issue. Also, if you take paper descriptions of people and even everything out, then that makes bias appear more in the study than if you have actual interactions with people. We saw this same flawed methodology with that notorious study that “showed” that white HR people hire people with “black sounding” names significantly less. They did the same thing. All things were the same on the resumes, so it must be racism. OR, if you make all things the same, then bias takes an outsized role in the selection process. Where if you meet people that bias basically disappears unless someone is overtly racist.
All of that said, her solutions are very good solutions. You SHOULD reassess your initial reactions to people. You SHOULD give people more than one chance to prove and show themselves and not rely on a snap judgement. Bias is inherent, but bias isn’t racism or sexism, which is what everyone always thinks bias is. Humans, on a day to day basis, overcome their biases all the time. But biases are easy and require little mental energy to just follow, so it does take work.
Joshua Suttle
May 19, 2022 at 3:39 pm
Fools will be fools it doesn’t mean it’s right and or acceptable but it’s true. People seem to forget that their mothers had them and without their moms they would not exist and in most cases by % your mom is your true supporter and the reason you become successful. It is not a person that gives themselves the successful traits it is their own mother that gives it to them. Without mom you have nothing!
S
May 19, 2022 at 3:44 pm
Assertiveness, though a necessary trait for self-actualization and self-respect, is *not* a valuable leadership skill. Actually. deference is more valuable as a leadership skill. Because deferring to a better view from someone under your leadership (even decisively) is more valuable than imposing your will on your team, and assertion is imposition.
This imposition is best used to guard the self from needless servility and to empower the self when unempowered. But it can go too far. It is normal and fine to be assertive. I have to mind when I assert too far.
Damn, and helpfulness *is* a leadership skill!
Charlton Blake
May 19, 2022 at 5:24 pm
It is easier to listen to suggestions when you are okay with yourself.
S
May 19, 2022 at 5:47 pm
@Charlton Blake Servility and low self-esteem certainly aren’t useful for leadership!
David Fortier
May 19, 2022 at 6:16 pm
Being a good manager is mostly about finding the right people, then staying out of their way. It doesn’t involve a lot of “telling people what to do”.
josh brown
May 19, 2022 at 4:02 pm
I Guarantee no one has ever called her “high octane”
Mike Bartley
May 19, 2022 at 4:06 pm
Gender differences are very real, it’s difficult to NOT make generalizations about each one. I have coached teenagers, both girls and boys, I treated them the same and it was a disaster for the girls. It’s a mistake to assume men and women are the same and to treat them the same all the time.
josh brown
May 19, 2022 at 4:07 pm
I really think it’s people like this who make sexism more prevepant, no one thinks this stuff. Stop putting words in people’s mouth
Lion El Aton
May 19, 2022 at 5:17 pm
I mean, there are studies on it. You gonna argue that the studies aren’t real? Haha. I don’t understand. This is the bias she’s referring to. Studies have shown that women with the same qualifications as men are less likely to be liked, and people with black sounding names and the same qualifications are less likely to be hired than people with white sounding names, even with identical resumes. They’re not opinions. It’s simply the case. Unless you have some other explanation for why that happens, it’s clearly a byproduct of bias.
88COR88
May 19, 2022 at 4:18 pm
There IS a solution for unconscious biases but many are not going to like it: Time. People are not robots whos programing can be changed and see an instant result. As a 50+ year old male, being egalitarian is very important to me yet I have no doubt I have unconscious biases that I am unaware of. I thank Ms. Hauser for mentioning that it is difficult to impossible to have full control of our biases.
So are things more equitable now then when my biases were being programed into me in the 1970s and 80s? Yes! Will things be better in 20 years? Yes! Because my generation will be retiring and my childrens generation will be taking over. They were not raised on the same media that re enforced out of date gender roles and grew up in a household that didn’t have “boy chores” and “girl chores.” Our intellectual understanding can move forward a lot faster then our emotional acceptance.
These social changes are important and I’m glad there are videos like this that remind us to try to be more aware of our bias. My concern is our “instant gratification” world will try to “fix it” by trying to force people to feel a specific way and that will lead to resistance and maybe even rejection in some. It sucks for the people that need to keep fighting the seemingly never ending battle for equality when it should be our default state. For what it’s worth, they are people that history will praise but I know that’s small comfort for their day to day struggles.
La Tonya K. Wilson
May 19, 2022 at 4:20 pm
Wow this totally gave me a deeper and better understanding of myself. Just as she stated I have similar issues in my office!! It’s draining but I always smile I refuse to lessen myself to appease others both male and females. I’ve also learned those that are insecure will not get along with me or people like me. This is ok, I need them to understand it’s not me it’s them. Let me explain, this very same person will encounter another person similar to me and have the same or similar experiences. So is it me or the common denominator???
Serpent@Eden
May 19, 2022 at 4:26 pm
So her argument is that a man tells her what he does is complicated, and she *assumes* that it is gender bias. But she wants to break down stereotypes… Sounds like a contradiction to me.
Brian
May 19, 2022 at 4:36 pm
How do you know if people are saying these things due to one’s sex? These comments seem like something anyone would say to anyone else
Lion El Aton
May 19, 2022 at 5:11 pm
This is perfectly explained. Wow. Excellent talk.
tb
May 19, 2022 at 5:37 pm
if u wanna be a leader start wearing pants
Charlton Blake
May 19, 2022 at 5:37 pm
Scenerio: I go up to all the female nurses I work with and ask them computer gaming questions then I do the same to the men. When I find the difference in interests and modify my behavior to respect and appreciate the likely interests in those around me, the speaker would tell me I have an unfounded bias despite not knowing my experiences. No?
Clint Eastman
May 19, 2022 at 7:26 pm
Well you shouldn’t have to “Modify” your behavior, if you’re consciously aware of your interactions based on their gender, then there is a fundamental problem or possible problem of manipulation. To manipulate those that alrdy work in such heavy stressed environment for one’s own benefit or advantage, not saying it as negative manner but just a observation based on my experience. Which I never do because i set base by which I talk, Interact, Instr and this for me is very important.. In my briefings..i could soooo easily change the Cmdr perspective by changing only 3 words. Thats the scary thing, here’s a full blown General looking at me a Cpl to say “Yes” or “No” to drop a 2000lb bomb on complex housing Insurgents..out of 7mth and a whole lot a missions.. I said “Yes” once and then a flurry of activities as the Cmd staff start paperwork and send and relaying his Orders.
Artimis Fowl
May 20, 2022 at 2:30 am
If your update is used to exclude people from opportunity, yeah. I think she would. I’m not sure she’d care so much if you were merely picking casual conversation topics. Though you would miss out on some excellent gaming partners.
Tmax W
May 20, 2022 at 10:08 am
I like your point
JC B
May 19, 2022 at 6:20 pm
Agreed, but lets not forget that if you are an ahole you are not going to be likable. Across all genders, I don’t like people that are not kind, caring of others, lack authenticity and that are really only there for themselves. Generally people with power fall into those descriptives and Often they will blame being unlikable on something else than the fact that they are just not really trying to be a good person to others. Competency is important, but I rather have a caring less competent doctor treat me then a very good selfish one.
Allen Culbertson
May 19, 2022 at 9:29 pm
God bless U and thank U for sharing with us
Mutilated hatred
May 19, 2022 at 9:42 pm
Social engineering
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Dios maravilloso de hecho
May 19, 2022 at 10:29 pm
Because of the economic crisis and the rate of unemployment, now is the best time to invest and make money 💯
Johanna Zetterberg
May 19, 2022 at 10:46 pm
I’ve never heard or seen any of his client complain of lost…..I think he’s just to perfect
Ebi Daniel
May 19, 2022 at 10:47 pm
His not like other brokers that will start telling you stories and excuses why the trade didn’t go well after collecting your money
William Mandeleav
May 19, 2022 at 10:48 pm
Seen alot of story about him, he must be honest and for people to talk this good about him..
Vlodydir Melkis
May 19, 2022 at 10:48 pm
I just texted him, I hope he replies soon
lark davis
May 19, 2022 at 10:48 pm
Access to a good information is what the investor needs to progress financially and in life. His a good one and I am grateful.
PettyCashPrash
May 19, 2022 at 11:25 pm
I agree with the main point here that this lady has expressed to us.
I’d say those biases exist in a world of threatened men (but don’t call it out unless you want to feel the collective wrath of these dudes).
That said, as for the Fintech guy…
He’d probably say that to anyone…
…Because he’s invested in Dogecoin lol
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WAsh'd Out
May 19, 2022 at 11:55 pm
As someone who has had many bosses of different genders, gender wasn’t the reason I hated them.
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Bias
May 20, 2022 at 12:59 am
She assumes every slight and prejudice is due to some hidden sexist agenda. Insecurity is common to all people, but failing to recognize it in yourself and projecting onto others your own faults is immature and unhealthy.
Allan Lee
May 20, 2022 at 1:37 am
Well spoken piece and a pleasure to hear someone get through the whole thing without having the “like” word in every sentence
Adam Omernik
May 20, 2022 at 9:03 am
Bro! That’s the best compliment you could come up with?
Kendra Sullivan
May 20, 2022 at 1:54 am
The like to dislike ratio only further proves her point.
magibon
May 20, 2022 at 2:37 am
you can see the dislikes?
Kendra Sullivan
May 20, 2022 at 4:01 am
@magibon Yeah its a Firefox extension called Return Youtube Dislike. Another of the dozens of reasons Firefox is better than Chrome.
magibon
May 20, 2022 at 11:43 am
@Kendra Sullivan very nice
Karl Stone
May 20, 2022 at 1:59 am
I like smart, strong women, but think it would help, when speaking at length – particularly to men, to drop the pitch of the voice just a little. This woman is fine, but I have noticed listening to other women speak is difficult because the register of the voice can be shrill. Maybe it’s just me, but it’s oddly off-putting – like nails on a blackboard. Makes it very difficult to concentrate on what’s being said; and if you’re not heard how can you be considered competent.
Karl Stone
May 21, 2022 at 5:09 am
@♜ Pìnned by TED I don’t know what whatsapp is, and have no wish to try it. I need another social media platform in my life like I need another hole in my head. A further observation I’ve made since this post is that when speaking, emotional emphasis is conveyed by women, by raising the pitch of the voice, while it’s the exact opposite with men, they tend to lower the pitch of their voice to empahsize their points.
Benjamin Dover
May 20, 2022 at 2:42 am
Timeshare salespeople have precise demographic targets. They weren’t being sexist. They just knew you weren’t a buyer. And a man not wanting to nerd-talk at a cocktail party isn’t sexist, its behaviorally appropriate. This women is seriously deranged.
Marc
May 20, 2022 at 4:49 am
Their target is anyone who will buy from them. It took the salesman just as long to ask whether there was a man around, as if he’ll be the decision maker, breadwinner or a softer target, than it would to simply ask if she was interested in timeshares. Such is life but that doesn’t make it right.
TanaAKAmom
May 20, 2022 at 2:44 am
The timing of this? Impeccable. The message, the last words? Profound. It’s a struggle to be a strong woman in a man’s world ❤️
Bias
May 20, 2022 at 2:55 am
Everyone struggles with doubt, personality defects, insecurity and their own ego. Blaming a man’s world (whatever that is) may be convenient but it doesn’t excuse strong women from facing their own demons.
John Mehoff
May 20, 2022 at 2:56 am
Yea, we tend to dislike manly traits on a woman. I was put off when I noticed her veiny arm and developed biceps. 😊
Miss Sandry
May 20, 2022 at 5:36 am
Horrible woke drivel AGAIN.
1. What kind of leader tries to convince people to like them instead of just being likeable? What kind of leader even cares? No leader – that’s who. What matters are real life outcomes – not micromanaging society’s feelings.
2. People have no choice but to respect top performers. If that isn’t you, blame yourself.
3.Trait agreeableness is associated with lower individual performance. Embrace your disagreeable nature, and keep pushing to do what is right – not for you, but in object quantitative ways.
TED gets more disappointing every post
Michaela Skarbova
May 20, 2022 at 5:57 am
This is soooo true it’s almost depressing
Jeffrey Green
May 20, 2022 at 6:27 am
there are a lot of people with stereotypes. definitely. I don’t like being around aggressive people in general. I’ve had lots of male bosses who I hated for their bossiness, and the same for women bosses. I’ve worked well under both types, and actually liked women better usually just because the sexism from men isn’t around. you are right that there are a lot of sexist men, and people have lots of stereotypes. I agree that most women I worked with worried a lot what other people thought of them, and to be liked instead of being natural.
Leon
May 20, 2022 at 6:40 am
Females can cry
Cameron Barnhill
May 20, 2022 at 8:47 am
Empathy is the answer she is searching for. I will never understand how it feels to be a woman, and the ladies will never understand the reality of being a man. My first thought was, “She completely misunderstands men.” Which is true. My second thought was that I have no idea what it feels like to be a woman, trying to achieve goals and be socially appreciated at the same time. Nobody can force anyone to exercise empathy. But if a curious person steps out of their own perspective and does everything they can to understand the other side, what they learn can be leveraged into an almost unfair advantage.
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Nimi Di
May 20, 2022 at 11:01 am
So many times in my work place, I hesitated to express my opinion because I am scared of being labeled as ‘unlikable’. So many times I shared my credit with others because I want to be considered ‘helpful’. When a woman achieves, they discredit them by saying ‘she must have a backing from the boss’ and when a man achieves, they say it is well deserved
Kingjamesthe804
May 21, 2022 at 12:37 am
That’s bullshit u think all men are confident no we hAve those same fears of our peers no liking us too.
Bryan Trisha
May 20, 2022 at 11:58 am
A $43,000 profit sent to my portfolio each week, Ms. Angela cole car is amazing
Michelle Shannon
May 20, 2022 at 12:19 pm
█你你好෴十𝟏𝟔𝟎𝟓𝟔𝟒𝟒𝟔𝟒𝟖𝟗෴你好你█
Michelle Shannon
May 20, 2022 at 12:19 pm
WhatsApp 👆
Jack Davis
May 20, 2022 at 12:27 pm
5.6 BTC and still counting in just 2 months expert Mrs Angela Cole Carr is the trade queen as long as I’m concerned
Fredrick wilson
May 20, 2022 at 12:34 pm
I will contact her and as well get my friends to trade with her. Thanks
Jennifer Arthur
May 20, 2022 at 12:36 pm
Count me in,I’m placing my trades with Expert Angela Cole Carr Thanks for the information
Matt S
May 20, 2022 at 2:52 pm
Think it’s hard to be a strong woman in a “man’s world” then you haven’t tried being a soft man in a woman’s world. Said men either end up in a bad relationship where they’re cheated on/disrespected or in no relationship. They also tend to have a lame career and social lives with a lot of women not respecting them or even wanting to acknowledge they exist. The only time they do engage with them is to dump on them all the issues they’re getting from another more assertive man via an impromptu therapy session or to get them to be an “ally” to further their goals. Basically keeping them around as a nurtured emotional support animal they’ve trained to do tricks like go to protest & post on Twitter.
taylor copeland
May 20, 2022 at 4:47 pm
the women laughing but the men showing no emotion>>>
Ala Alfa
May 20, 2022 at 8:26 pm
It’s normal today…. but they will have daughters too maybe…or sisters ad aunts they care about.
Or maybe don’t care about it… It’s their business what they do and what values they have. NO television commercials can force men to value women or even their own family members.
As as much, no commercial can force selfish types of women to like men… There will be always both types.
But it’s proven that humility and gratitude bring more happiness, no matter what gender you are.
Social norms are so extreme that women think certain things and men think certain things that television tells them to think.
The bigger problem today is the problem with the environment and poisoning the planet with oil and plastic in oceans and other toxic stuff.
And also they say that we have 100 years to save the planet because the trees are cut down so fast in Amazon, that we have to plant the new ones… etc
Maybe it would be easier if people would stop attacking each other for their gender roles and start to do stuff that are good for everybody.
МТЖ-МРП
May 21, 2022 at 12:22 am
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Слава КПСС
Dave Nisbet
May 21, 2022 at 11:06 am
I have worked with women on mechanical projects as project managers, they have been great experiences as they have been great to deal with and well organised and have realistic views on any issues that may arise. I have dealt with many a male on like projects and they are more focussed on being the man who knows what they are doing and found that they are a lot harder to deal with. Me as a person who has dealt with these situations for the last 40+ years would rather deal with a women as they have a greater understanding of the situation and are not worried about how big their ego and makes my day just that bit better than dealing with men who have no other idea other than I am the man and I am running this project and you do what I say.
groMMit1981
May 22, 2022 at 8:08 am
For fooks sake, do they ever stop complaining
Another Mike
May 23, 2022 at 3:44 pm
Why do you have to be liked? Male leaders aren’t. not all of them.
Slo-poke
May 23, 2022 at 7:28 pm
After this 4:30 it’s all in her head. There’s no facts in this talk , just her perceptions.