People & Blogs
Boys experience more violence when they’re young than you think. Here’s how things change #TEDTalks
Urging us to turn away from voices perpetuating harmful stereotypes, gender equality advocate Gary Barker shares three insights on fostering a culture of care, compassion and connection among men. “We are the most wired-to-care species on the planet,” he says. “But if you don’t use it … you don’t get good at it.”
@TeamRogers7
April 5, 2026 at 3:04 pm
Happy Easter Sunday, TED!
@JasonWalsh-q4z
April 5, 2026 at 3:07 pm
COULD IT BE THE PSYCHIACTRIC DRUGS THE MALES ARE ON?
@tristanking9455
April 5, 2026 at 3:21 pm
?
@DipperDK
April 5, 2026 at 3:33 pm
Wtf? Bot? 😅 Btw. CAPSLOCK 😂
@LouisOnEarth
April 5, 2026 at 4:35 pm
Which males. Percentage please
@vultureculture7707
April 5, 2026 at 5:43 pm
No. Actually people diagnosed with phichiatric disorders are disproportionately targeted and are more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators.
@noname-pb9vj
April 5, 2026 at 3:19 pm
I’m guessing environment (specifically financial) is the largest factor
@animalsdignity
April 5, 2026 at 3:30 pm
Violence teaches violence.
@noname-pb9vj
April 5, 2026 at 3:34 pm
Are these numbers on reported incidents? I’d love to see reports on lesbian couples and the DA/DV that happens there’s
@vultureculture7707
April 5, 2026 at 5:39 pm
You can look up stuff like that from academic sources. You’re on the internet.
@tishie42
April 5, 2026 at 5:50 pm
Lesbians experience the highest rates of dv and divorce. Followed by straight couples then gay men. Which says a lot. The m/m relationships aren’t even as volatile. So it’s obviously not just testosterone or men. It’s really interesting stuff. There are lots of pretty reputable sources with numbers. Here in the USA it’s easy to look up by state and county.
@noname-pb9vj
April 5, 2026 at 6:06 pm
@vultureculture7707I’m trying to engage in conversation.
@amyb639
April 5, 2026 at 6:22 pm
@tishie42not quite – the figures are that f/f relationships have higher rates of having been victims of DV at *any* time. Most often by previous, MALE, partners. Given DV is most often inflicted upon women, it makes sense that a couple where both people in it are statistically more likely to have been a victim of abuse shows up as having higher rates of a history of DV.
This is not current relationship statistics.
@tishie42
April 5, 2026 at 9:26 pm
@amyb639correct. Both these things are true. The f/f couples have experienced prior m on f AND current f on f violence.
@cameron7889
April 5, 2026 at 4:47 pm
It’s testosterone. Look at most male mammals during breeding season that are not monogamous. What hormone goes up during breeding season…
@vultureculture7707
April 5, 2026 at 5:41 pm
You are wrong. We’ve studied this a million times. And comparing human beings to a barely sentient animal during a mating season does a disservice to both. He literally said a very small portion of it is biology, didn’t you bother watching the video? Ffs, tell us you know nothing about people without actually saying it.
@Swallow12345
April 6, 2026 at 8:17 am
Referring to testosterone is so basic.
Try to use your granular prefrontal cortex like the rest of us do
@stevenfreiner6508
April 5, 2026 at 5:10 pm
I always ask the question what did she do to get beat up? If i piss off another man he punches me, or gets punched, in the mouth. So, what did we learn? Dont piss off someone whos bigger, stronger, and according to your own views completely equal to you.
@vultureculture7707
April 5, 2026 at 5:42 pm
Wrong. No one has the right to hit anyone because they got annoyed. You sound like an abusive partner in the making, so stay single and childless, you’re the type to beat your kid because you’re impatient.
@Geekabibble
April 5, 2026 at 8:00 pm
No, what we learn is to not date, marry or even be friends with people who do that. Go no contact. We don’t say, let people like that do whatever they want because they are violent jerks and are bigger than me. Geez!
@johnsmiff8328
April 6, 2026 at 3:42 am
“Don’t upset me because I don’t have the self contol to process my big feelings”
God bro, what a sad, childish mindset
@airenmarie1250
April 6, 2026 at 11:59 am
What an absolutely disgusting take. Blaming the victim instead of holding the abuser accountable. You’re part of the reason DV victims feel unheard. You probably use the same logic regarding rape survivors, don’t you?
@vultureculture7707
April 5, 2026 at 5:43 pm
Look, I don’t expect everyone to have a degree in psychology or anthropology, but this comment section is full of people who haven’t read anything about science since 8th grade biology and it shows.
@Benoit-Pierre
April 5, 2026 at 6:17 pm
Yup … A lot
@MeenageTutantTinjaNurtle
April 6, 2026 at 1:29 am
🤦🏽
@tylerharrison7850
April 6, 2026 at 4:30 am
We shouldn’t get rid of violence in the experiences of young boys or even girls because violence is a very real thing that will always happen. What we need to do is teach them and train them to control their violence and less violence is the correct option for the moment. And usually violence is only the correct option when somebody else without control uses violence. But sometimes violence is necessary in an emergency where you got a violently remove the problem like a car crushing a person or fallen debris on somebody, you violently have to remove it
@mpetrison3799
April 6, 2026 at 6:39 am
The rate of IPV is nearly double in lesbian relationships, compared to gay relationships. Yes, it’s the women who use violence more here.
In heterosexual relationships, use of hitting and physical violence is nearly identical by females as by men. The big differences come in the form of who inflicts _serious_ physical injuries, which is mostly explicable by average size differences in partnerships.
@tomfrey6319
April 6, 2026 at 7:47 am
34% of men experience physical violence from a female partner…. 14.9% is severe… 48.5% experience emotional abuse and 14% is severe..…
@theenlightenedone1283
April 7, 2026 at 12:51 am
💯 and that’s what is being ignored or shoved under the carpet
@p12jacob
April 6, 2026 at 10:35 am
I agree with him, however its intresting that he only mentions men as the problem when violence is more common in lesbian couples than in hetro couples.
@Alfvenwaves
April 6, 2026 at 11:24 am
That statistic doesn’t say that more violence happens in lesbian relationships. It just says that people in lesbian relationships have experienced more violence ever in relationships.
In other words, no information whether that violence happens inside those current lesbian relationships or in previous ones – which may not have been lesbian.
Which means that statistic is basically meaningless.
@michaelaskarbova223
April 6, 2026 at 6:23 pm
1 in 3 women is highly UNDERESTIMATED!!!
@thesamwise007
April 6, 2026 at 7:07 pm
87% of all statistics are made up.
@theenlightenedone1283
April 7, 2026 at 12:49 am
Most mothers use violence to teach boys 😢
@gezusmofo
April 7, 2026 at 3:33 pm
Israel is a very interesting case study. The research findings coming out of there are wild.
@corplavilla
April 7, 2026 at 9:53 pm
As I grew up, I saw violence from both men and women. This guy is a fraud. He just wants attention.