Urging us to turn away from voices perpetuating harmful stereotypes, gender equality advocate Gary Barker shares three insights on fostering a culture of care, compassion and connection among men. “We are the most wired-to-care species on the planet,” he says. “But if you don’t use it … you don’t get good at it.”
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#TED #TEDTalks #masculinity
@chocomalk
February 1, 2024 at 11:57 am
Urging us to turn away from voices perpetuating harmful stereotypes he takes the current stereotype that masculinity is toxic by default.
Protip women are only empathetic with their young.
@rogermwiesmeyer
February 1, 2024 at 11:58 am
If this video resonated with you, i recommend the work of Niobe Way.
She has a great tedmed talk on this platform and i first heard an interview of her on Stay tuned with Preet called The Crisis of Loneliness 🎉❤
@cypherneticgaming3281
February 1, 2024 at 12:07 pm
More attacks on men.
@chazmcgooski83
February 1, 2024 at 12:08 pm
He’s stroking the egos of an all female audience 😂😂😂
@meanderinoranges
February 1, 2024 at 12:13 pm
I never thought I’d be mansplained on how to not be a man.
@steveleveille7718
February 1, 2024 at 12:20 pm
The problem is that women are attracted to traditionally masculine and successful men who are kind but not feminine. Pretty much the opposite of this man.
@hvglaser
February 1, 2024 at 12:23 pm
He’s talking important points, but he’s adding to the problem generalizing these tendencies to all men, instead of specifying a group, albeit a majority group, that needs help. Otherwise you risk associating personal growth with parting with your manhood.
@Harrock
February 1, 2024 at 12:33 pm
Moms are the better Dads …
@vincentyoung8472
February 1, 2024 at 12:53 pm
Moms are not Dads.
@Harrock
February 1, 2024 at 12:34 pm
3:38 True !
@jasonthewatchmansson8873
February 1, 2024 at 12:34 pm
TED will give a microphone to any effeminate man who wants to “reframe” macsulinity.
@Patralgan
February 1, 2024 at 12:54 pm
I am a male, but I do not particularly identify with masculinity as it is known. In a prefect world everyone would be kind to each other and cruelty wouldn’t be a thing and I try my best to live up to that ideal. I know it sounds naive and perhaps I am. If it gets me killed, I’m fine with that. I don’t want to be a part of a world where cruelty wins.
@TylerSmithMusic1
February 1, 2024 at 7:37 pm
You aren’t alone. 🙏
@Darren-Winter
February 1, 2024 at 1:04 pm
We need to be Gentleman again, we can be masculine without toxicity.
@craigbrowning9448
February 1, 2024 at 1:37 pm
Texas and Guns go Together!
@NomzamoNthabiseng
February 1, 2024 at 1:45 pm
Excellent talk!
@jmslade7
February 1, 2024 at 1:55 pm
💜❤️💛🖤💚💜
@BrutusMaximusAurelius
February 1, 2024 at 2:00 pm
He just said we bring some boys up badly (rightfully so), later talks about boys struggling and being lost. Which is a huge problem. What is the reaction from mostly the female audience? Laughter. And that’s because most DGAF about men that are struggling. They say they want men to be more vulnerable, but they’re often met with laughter. “Suck it up”. For some there seems to be a war of the sexes going on where one just has to come out on top, instead of trying to live in harmony. So tiresome.
@arshaddahlan
February 1, 2024 at 3:59 pm
If that is the opinion of most of the women in your life, then I do feel sorry for you. As a guy, I am glad that most of my female friends support the promotion of healthy masculinity and men being able to be vulnerable or speak about their own emotions, without being laughed at for that sort of matter.
@Phoenixfrostph
February 1, 2024 at 2:00 pm
0:03: ⚖️ Impact of personal experiences on advocating for survivors of violence and reframing masculinity.
3:31: 💪 Impact of traditional masculinity norms on men’s mental health and behavior.
5:26: ⚡ Men’s health and societal impact of traditional masculinity are overlooked. Boys are unaware of the consequences.
7:46: 💔 Addressing the struggles of men, especially young men of color, in the US, and the need for empathy and care.
10:21: ⚖️ Importance of empathy and connection for men who have caused harm.
Recapped using Tammy AI
@SuperRobieboy
February 1, 2024 at 3:17 pm
Too bad capitalist imperialism and toxic masculinity are a match made in heaven
@TOhara-eb2lp
February 1, 2024 at 5:15 pm
I have some deep rooted, albeit traditional, beliefs that define me as what a man is, and what makes one. Yet if I were to tell women I’d be labeled toxic and you’d judge me and lump me in with males who are not men, as I define them, such as rapists, domestic abusers, Incels, etc. without even knowing anything about me.
@V1brationCanine
February 2, 2024 at 7:26 pm
how about u examine ur beliefs and find why they’re misogynistic instead of blaming women? it’s very easy not to treat other people like second class citizens.
@TOhara-eb2lp
February 2, 2024 at 7:33 pm
@@V1brationCanineMy point exactly. I didn’t even tell you what those beliefs are and yet you are judging me when I’m not like one of those women hating people at all.
@Baraz_Red
February 1, 2024 at 6:06 pm
I prefer calling it Humanity (empathy) and to careless about gender, etc. But I understand the need to counter toxic masculinity, unhealthy behavior, violence, etc. Above all, while I actively support feminists, it is very true that we need to talk about men’s issues much more and face it (it tends to be pushed under the rug). Excellent talk by the way.
@josee.1709
February 2, 2024 at 10:33 am
I mean, just read you comment. Think about the impact that associating positive words to the feminine, and negative words to the masculine does to young men around the world. From those that are a blank slate, to those that have already been consumed to said patterns. They all will get a different reaction, ones will join the cause, but many will be left scarred, confused, and feeling guilty of something that they’ve probably haven’t done before. These ideology wars tend to harm people both ways regardless of gender just by using their words, that’s part of the challenge: To move forward without vengeful, and self-adulatory language
@Baraz_Red
February 2, 2024 at 12:18 pm
@@josee.1709 Yes, the masculine model we are given is negative and most of what we hear is negative. It is hard I find to escape it, when the reality of rape is over 90% done by men; violence is mostly done by men, but empathy is clearly a Human capacity and boys are not born that way as such. People want to be valued, to such a point that young men will rush to paths that lead to being valued and glorified, like war, etc. Anyhow, it requires a whole societal improvement, focusing more on our common Humanity, and feminists can contribute to this (I would argue most feminists mothers already understand this and don’t teach their boys to hate themselves). Yes, some feminists may need to improve their approach, but the movements will remain and have to.
@vintagemxer1846
February 1, 2024 at 6:54 pm
That was one terrible ted talk.
@piku5637
February 1, 2024 at 7:15 pm
Good talk.
@TylerSmithMusic1
February 1, 2024 at 7:39 pm
I have zero male friends because of this. I feel like all my “friends” are this version of men and try to compete rather than celebrate the differences
@SueFerreira75
February 1, 2024 at 7:39 pm
Finally!!
@beyondbrie
February 1, 2024 at 8:16 pm
This reminds me of Manbox.
@ioanpopovici
February 1, 2024 at 8:31 pm
This reeks of weakness. Men are not weak nor should they be. I don’t think this guy understands men. I don’t even know what this guy is talking about, my friends don’t understand what this guy is talking about. What 50%? These statistics seem made up honestly.
Empathy is fine to a point, expose a child to much to it, he will be weak and unable to exist in this world. Life is tough get with the program.
Men have become weak enough, no need to weaken them further…
@sebastiankearney554
February 1, 2024 at 9:05 pm
This feels like some things I’ve heard about how “No man has had a healthy male role model, so they dont know how to be healthy male role models.”
For anyone interested in diving deeper on this, I’d recommend the book ‘King, Warrior, Magician, Lover’. It talks a lot about male archetypes across cultures.
@jonodrummerboy
February 2, 2024 at 12:03 am
THE ONLY AUDIENCE RESPONSE was when he spoke briefly about women’s issues. I was disappointed by this talk, when I clicked the thumbnail I was genuinely hoping for a constructive conversation about the issues that surround men’s emotional development and men’s mental health, instead I get 11 minutes of what men have done wrong and 2 minutes that can be condensed to “we should care a bit more” those 2 minutes where met with silence. It really reflects what I’ve been saying for some time, men’s issue are irrelevant to most women, our mental health is an inconvenience and when it comes to male aggression the conversation is still completely focused on the action and not the cause. Only when we address why SOME men are so angry, and why men SOME men are aggressive will we begin to understand how to resolve what is by far the biggest problem facing gender equality today.
@johncox3541
February 2, 2024 at 7:17 am
What a load of sexist drivel.
@serendipitytwo777
February 2, 2024 at 8:15 am
Whenever this topic is raised, the comments prove the point.😔
@serendipitytwo777
February 2, 2024 at 8:30 am
Thank you for your work and also acknowledgement of women’s unfinished equality too. All of this is FOR all of us.
@TwoBlackRings
February 2, 2024 at 8:44 am
Excellent talk. I think it is worth noting that harm comes in a variety of flavors irrespective of gender. Some are more direct and overt. Others creep insidiously. However, as long as the narrative continues to be that a man is to blame for all of the ills of the world based solely on his gender, problems will not be addressed from all perspectives. This comment is not meant to imply that the speaker was blaming men.
@josee.1709
February 2, 2024 at 10:17 am
Well, what a simpleton way of looking at violence. Do you happen to know that in Latin America the physical violence from mothers to their children is not only normalized, but encouraged? Oh, yeah, but somehow that’ll be because of patriarchy, and how that causes women to abuse, and advice that abuse amongst them to their children.
@starc.
February 2, 2024 at 11:25 am
is empathy a masculine trait or a feminine trait?
@DerXavia
February 2, 2024 at 12:13 pm
Interesting, I actually clicked on this to learn how to improve myself. Luckily my upbringing already taught me all these things right. I wonder why it was so different compared to others though. My upbringing wasn’t dramatically different than other boys. What are the factors? Education, financial background or father role?
@deeabaver2053
February 3, 2024 at 4:25 am
It is mostly a societal thing linked to cultural orientation. Boys are taught directly or indirectly what a man should act like, with good portion of the acts being toxic because a man is supposed to be strong. So acting irresponsibly makes one a man. However, a kind, passionate and caring man is considered soft especially in African societies.
@goodkill1
February 2, 2024 at 12:48 pm
This is a terrible talk, why is it only about the masculinity in men? What about the toxic masculinity in women?
@user-bb7zv9ut8q
February 2, 2024 at 2:29 pm
There is a word that unites a man and a woman in the process of self-identification. For some reason unknown to me, it is not used. Presumably it is impossible to use an adjective, and even if the dictionary allows you to change the part of speech when using a word, the mind still prohibits it.
@rafaelpena4269
February 2, 2024 at 3:04 pm
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@tennesseejermyn7705
February 2, 2024 at 3:47 pm
Patriarchy effects men too
@cl2791
February 2, 2024 at 6:24 pm
I blame the internet. Propagates every negative attitude and stereotype in magnitude.
@joepaquet4332
February 2, 2024 at 7:00 pm
Singular narratives are injustice to humanity.
@curiousworld7912
February 3, 2024 at 7:47 am
Thank you, for making the basic point, that how men behave can’t merely be defined by their gender, as that is too lazy a generalization, but is far more influenced and defined by society. I’ve worked with victims of violent crime, and I, too, found the vast majority of violence was committed by men, and my observations were very similar to your own. The expectations and models of masculinity in our society, and others, has had some seriously unfortunate consequences. (Of course, women are not immune from violent behavior, but as you state; it’s men that bear society’s expected emphasis on ‘power and strength’, which becomes perverted.) Thank you for making this a public point.
@nickmay7342
February 3, 2024 at 3:32 pm
Interesting that all the claps and woos and positive responses come from the acknowledgment of the way men treat women. Almost no response to the ways we should better treat men. That right there combined with the ability to replace men is part of the reason for the callous behavior and attitude.
@andycordy5190
February 3, 2024 at 4:01 pm
This is such a long road to walk and there are so many negative, misogynistic men on that road. I agree with everything you say including the possibility of rehabilitation but where are the archetypes to disprove the macho mythology of manhood? Where are the online resources for redirecting all the anger and rejection?
When I was teaching in prison, I met some men from The Nation of Islam, who were doing wonderful work putting the lives of offenders back together but their beliefs and objectives were profoundly patriarchal in common with other religious reformers working in challenging inner city communities. The causes of alienation for young men in our communities cannot be overcome when the principle agents of oppression and violence are left unchecked: Gender stereotyping, social conditioning, role model violence.
@marlonbascombe3427
February 5, 2024 at 11:31 am
Everywhere we are trapped, by ourselves and by society, in the man box. Coming out is dangerous
@HoangNguyendh
February 6, 2024 at 10:10 am
Masculinity does not necessarily equal Violence. So does Power and Strength, both mental and physical.