Have you answered a work email during an important family event? Or taken a call from your boss while on vacation? According to behavioral scientist and Harvard Business School professor Ashley Whillans, “always-on” work culture is not only ruining our personal well-being — but our work, as well. She shares which bad habits are stopping us from getting what we need out of our free time and three practical steps for setting boundaries that stick.
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Transcriber: Leslie Gauthier
Reviewer:
For so many of us,
myself included,
our days feel filled
with a million small interruptions.
And this is true even of our days off.
Maybe you’ve taken a call at the beach,
texted your boss from the grocery store
or emailed a colleague
while on a picnic with your family.
We’ve convinced ourselves
that these behaviors are no big deal.
It’s just one email.
But there’s a real cost
to these interruptions,
and there are smart strategies
we can all take
to better protect our time.
(Music)
[The Way We Work]
These moments seem so small at the time,
and yet research suggests
they add up to a tremendous loss.
The constant creep of work
into our personal lives
can increase our stress
and undermine our happiness.
So just what is the cost?
In one study,
researchers recruited parents who were
visiting a science museum with their kids.
Some parents were told to check
their phone as much as possible;
others were told to check their phone
as little as possible.
After the visit,
parents who used their phones reported
that the experience
was significantly less meaningful.
They also felt much lonelier.
In another study,
tourists who were asked
to have their phones out
while visiting an iconic church
remembered fewer details a week later.
And in my research,
employees who were paid
for their performance
spent increasingly less time interacting
with friends and family,
and more and more time
interacting with colleagues and clients.
These constant interruptions
come at a cost to organizations, too.
Companies lose 32 days of productivity
each year to employee depression,
which is often caused by the stress
and burnout of our always-on culture.
Despite knowing better,
I, too, have found myself focusing
on “urgent work distractions”
over important life moments.
Most recently,
I found myself texting a client
while in the middle
of my first child’s first ultrasound …
happy client,
guilty mom-to-be.
When you add up all of these moments,
the sum total is a life
shortchanged on meaning,
joy,
connection
and even memory.
As we remake our models of work
in the wake of the pandemic,
now is our opportunity to create
a new culture that respects time.
And the way to make this really big change
is through small steps
that we can take right now.
The first step that we need to take
is to reframe rest.
Reflect for a moment about what you think
about when you hear the word “rest.”
Sounds amazing, right?
But in my mind,
I immediately worry
about not being productive enough
or letting down my colleagues.
When we do have time off,
we need to find ways in which
we can enjoy the present moment
and savor the leisure time
that we have available,
as opposed to seeing it
as an unproductive barrier to our work.
One specific strategy we can take
is to treat our upcoming
weekend like a vacation.
On Friday afternoon,
jot down how you would act and behave
as if you were on a holiday.
Maybe you and your partner
will buy a bottle of wine
and watch online clips
of the Eiffel Tower.
Maybe you’ll visit a local café
and listen to some live music.
Or maybe you’ll go for a long
walk in the middle of the day
with no phone and no agenda.
The plan doesn’t have to be
expensive or extravagant.
Another strategy you can take
is to create clear boundaries
for your time off.
Instead of saying, “I’m out of the office.
Feel free to Slack me whenever,”
say, “I’ll be offline.
Call me only if it’s urgent.”
To uphold these personal goals,
work together as a team.
Set team goals for personal time.
Do it publicly,
collect data
and hold each other accountable.
These goals could sound like,
“I will not check email
between 6:00 and 8:00pm;”
“I will have dinner with my family
four nights a week;”
or “I will go for a jog midday.”
Check in our your team’s progress
and see how everyone’s doing.
If you or your teammates are unsuccessful,
work together to help
accomplish personal goals.
Lastly, you can negotiate for more time
to prevent work from creeping
into your personal life.
In business school, I teach
students to negotiate for salary
but realize I spoke almost nothing
about negotiating for more time.
What does this look like in practice?
You can ask for more time
on adjustable deadlines at work.
If your client asks
for a deliverable Monday morning,
ask for an extension
until Tuesday afternoon
so you don’t find yourself working
on your well-deserved weekend.
And don’t worry too much about reputation.
Quality truly is the metric
that matters most.
In my data,
employees who proactively
asked for more time
reported lower levels
of stress and burnout,
and were seen as more committed
and professional by their colleagues.
These are small but powerful changes
to not only reframe rest,
but to reclaim it.
Once you discover the profound impact
that these changes can have,
you’ll feel empowered to demand
that others respect
and accommodate your approach to time.
Maybe they’ll even feel inspired
to piece together the fractured moments
of their lives, too.
A M
September 27, 2021 at 4:29 pm
Complicated Urban tech industrial work is unnatural and abhorrent to basic human nature. Simplify, spend time outdoors, spend time with family, keep work out of your personal life.
Antonio Garcia
September 27, 2021 at 4:29 pm
I don’t mind being distracted, as a matter of fact if i don’t want to be distracted at the moment, I just ignore or text “call you back, busy”.
I love my own power to do or not do. Sometimes i have to answer the call. But when i don’t have to, believe me you I won’t!!😁
I'm Still Here Alex
September 27, 2021 at 4:30 pm
*_Imagine it’s the workers who have to change their prospective rather than the way companies perceive employees…_*
Wabanaki [People Of The Dawnland]
September 27, 2021 at 4:34 pm
The first step you need to take is tossing that “smart” phone in the garbage. If you’re lucky enough to be like me, and have never had one, keep it that way. If you NEED a phone then buy a simple, pay as you go phone, and use it for emergency or business use only and only if that means you’ll lose your job if you don’t make that call.
Step two; Ditch that UNsocial media account and become truly social with your family again.
Step three; Don’t look back.
As an American Indian, I can confidently inform you, that your ancestors did not, in fact, bring “progress” with them from Europe when they sailed across on the Mayflower to my ancestral homelands. You are living in a degenerative society known as settler colonialism. Wake up you damn frogs. You’re being boiled alive!
Joey Beato Batil
September 27, 2021 at 4:43 pm
Man, if only “they” would notice this, yeah I’m talking about people to forced employees to do overtime and stressing them out
Nicholas Ott
September 27, 2021 at 4:47 pm
That’s cool… But how about professions like teaching, where my girlfriend needs to do some work 7 days a week so she isn’t swamped…
John Mckeown
September 27, 2021 at 4:50 pm
I agree, there’s too much work that
is unpaid, and expected by.some Employers.
In a demanding, pressured, work environment, negotiation on
Time is possible, if, the end result
is quality, that matches or exceeds expectations, with consistancy.
With a proven track record,
as Douglas Adams might say,
I love the sound of deadlines as
they Whoosh by.’
He set his own deadlines, this
worked out pretty well, I think
we can all agree, however, never
take anything.for granted, no-one
is indispensable, unless you’re
Douglas Adams.
Dream
September 27, 2021 at 4:51 pm
Thought this was pretty obvious, but I also knew the obvious isn’t always so when you get too integrated in work. Which, lots of people do.
dashen
September 27, 2021 at 5:23 pm
Tell this to any healthcare worker and watch them laugh
TED
September 27, 2021 at 5:36 pm
For more episodes from The Way We Work, a TED series, click here:
no
September 27, 2021 at 5:46 pm
Wow, what a waste of time.
THE BIANCA
September 27, 2021 at 5:48 pm
Wonderful! TED always surprise us with quality content!!
Supa sly
September 27, 2021 at 6:09 pm
3 rules:
stop working
stop watching videos
live your life the wey you want it
MydogTobes
September 27, 2021 at 6:22 pm
Well, with the J ibby J abby now cancelling the possibility of even being employed, I would rather starve to death than i njectify myself. Being denied f reedom of i ndependant thought is a world I have no wish to see.
Present For Myself TV
September 27, 2021 at 6:57 pm
Creating boundaries is not just for our personal relationships. Thanks for reminding us to do so professionally as well. Because our ability to earn and materially care for ourselves and our families is tied to our work, it can seem harder to set professional boundaries. However, if we want to enjoy the fruits of our labor, it is necessary. Peace to all.
J
September 27, 2021 at 7:29 pm
Shout out to fellow Patriots downvoting and shitcommenting ted videos keep it up!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸
Amy Taylor
September 27, 2021 at 8:05 pm
Hello, how are you doing today I hope you’re having a great day so far 👋God bless you
Evigmae VonBenerot
September 27, 2021 at 7:30 pm
I might be a workoholic cause i thought this was going to be about reducing interruptions for my work time, lol
mbak martuti
September 27, 2021 at 8:07 pm
translete indonesia, please
Internet and life hacks
September 27, 2021 at 8:20 pm
Valuable advice, thanks a lot!
Life Is My Opportunity☀️
September 27, 2021 at 8:27 pm
“Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer” 🌍
– Unknown
Gavriel
September 27, 2021 at 8:45 pm
pam
A boy and his shopping cart
September 27, 2021 at 10:35 pm
I tell people if they disturb my weekend I’ll kick em in the nuts Monday.
ken juan
September 27, 2021 at 11:13 pm
Once I clock out I NEVER answer any emails period…don’t even have work email on my phone…yes I’ve worked some weekends to meet a deadline but that’s the exception not the rule…maybe it’s just me but this is non negotiable unless the company gonna pay me extra for my off hours service.
Gus R
September 27, 2021 at 11:24 pm
1. Abolish capitalism
2. If number 1 does not work, be rich
3. If number 1 and 2 do not work, I am sorry slave
Darran Porter
September 28, 2021 at 1:22 am
This is ideal and the science is sound. But do be aware that you can easily be replaced by someone who IS prepared to do the extra hours, because there’s a million people for your corporation to choose from to step right into your shoes. This is the reality. The culture of fear and insecurity instilled in us by our leaders of commerce/industry needs to be addressed to feel safe enough to put in boundaries on our personal time.
Phil Bailey
September 28, 2021 at 1:39 am
Your workplace needs to know that their employees deserve a break and need time away from work by not replying to them right away or during the weekend. This will help refresh perspectives and solutions when employees come back to work. The mind and soul of everyone need to relax and recharge while away from work. Even teachers have problems doing this as they feel they need to be there for their students and staff. If any workplace demands immediate replies, then it might be time to find an employer that respects your time and life.
Wong Chee Mun
September 28, 2021 at 2:14 am
Everyone’s urgent has different meaning.
Earl E. Burd
September 28, 2021 at 2:27 am
All the best with the pregnancy! Congrats
Yun Hwan Kim
September 28, 2021 at 3:56 am
워라밸 쉽지않지…
Alif Z
September 28, 2021 at 4:31 am
Idk how time works. Sometimes it’s so fast, I didnt accomplish more task. Few things like period cramp, stomachache. I dont understand why I took longer time to finish simple things.
Triyanto Prabowo
September 28, 2021 at 4:41 am
It Will never happened in an Asian company, btw I’m Indonesian, and here employer demands the employee to be available online 24 hours a day.
123
September 28, 2021 at 6:56 am
I love my work and I’m a better human being because of what I do. This video is a bit sad for me because it seems like not many people love their work.
War Jac
September 28, 2021 at 8:40 am
I love how “work culture” is strictly defined as office work. Almost none of this applys to service or manual labor jobs.
たすけてください。
September 28, 2021 at 9:37 am
I am looking for criminals in Japan. See my playlist for more details. Should I consult the police? I want your opinion.
1
レオンゴレツカ
September 28, 2021 at 10:06 am
I am looking for criminals in Japan. See my playlist for more details. Should I consult the police? I want your opinion.
1
らん子
September 28, 2021 at 10:16 am
I am looking for criminals in Japan. See my playlist for more details. Should I consult the police? I want your opinion.
1
Ronald Dan Caliva
September 28, 2021 at 11:19 am
That’s why in the next generation companies will use robots as their employees
Calm.
September 28, 2021 at 11:23 am
I am agree whole of this advice I’ll check it✔️.Thank you 😊👍
TylerPerry827
September 28, 2021 at 11:44 am
Basically none of this is helpful if you work in the service, healthcare, or non-office jobs
Billy Christopher
September 28, 2021 at 12:02 pm
The opportunity of a lifetime must be seized in the lifetime of the opportunity! There is no time like the present to become the business owner you’ve always wanted to be, get clarity around your life purpose. Make major leap in your business.
t41l
September 28, 2021 at 1:30 pm
“Won’t check email between 6 and 8 pm”. How about I won’t check email between 5 pm and 8 am?
kyla bacdayan 🖤
September 28, 2021 at 2:34 pm
I needed this.
ch sairam
September 28, 2021 at 4:46 pm
So when do we get better at what we do? Like Up skilling or indepth study. Is it ok to relax and pass time on weekends and holidays. And just do office work on weekdays? Then how do we achieve mastery in our domain?
GIGA REVAZASHVILI
September 28, 2021 at 5:04 pm
Oh my Lord!!!! I am really grateful to this Ma’am for the video about optimizing the working process.
While I was watching this video, I found the answer to why Russians are so sad and aggressive. It is very simple – merely they don’t know what means to relax in their day-offs and vacations – their minds are always stuck in the issues
of regulating their everyday activities, handling everything just in time (with yellings, swearing, and nervosity).
In brief, the ability to relax and distract yourself in your spare time – is one of the real guarantees of your success.
And hello to Adam Grant with his “languishing” and his tips about changing mindset))))
Camden Meyer
September 28, 2021 at 5:49 pm
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
HitsukiHel
September 28, 2021 at 7:08 pm
Alright, ignore your boss’ urgent messages, say you have a family dinner, get fired, and you’ll have all the time there is to spend with your family. You don’t really need that money, do you.
Emily Lyons
September 28, 2021 at 7:50 pm
1) find an employer that values you as a human being
Estefani Manzane
September 28, 2021 at 10:32 pm
Amazing talk
煽り運転の犯人を探してます
September 28, 2021 at 10:52 pm
I am looking for criminals in Japan. See my playlist for more details. Should I consult the police? I want your opinion.
2
FAT
September 29, 2021 at 1:33 am
In short have time for yourself. Just you alone. Rest. Meditate, and have gratitude. Self care is needed anyway.
Jitendra patel
September 29, 2021 at 3:14 am
હ.
Sania
September 29, 2021 at 4:58 am
That is so true that we assume the time of rest as something of a waste of time. Constantly thinking about what are we missing on. Rest should be Rest and not Anxiety of not doing enough.
Loved the video.
Smile Please
September 29, 2021 at 6:40 am
In India, we say it – When I drink water, I just drink water…
Dr. Rebecca Heiss
September 29, 2021 at 1:48 pm
Great video! Creating, communicating, and upholding boundaries are SO important to not only this, but other areas of our lives as well.
A Name
September 29, 2021 at 3:42 pm
Naro Naro…moiki najaribi…Naro Naro…hotel to Momo Chow khabo ahibi…moi naja bo…moi naja bo
Anthony Tan
September 29, 2021 at 4:46 pm
Most of the management team don’t care as long as their bonus is there every year.
Andrew Au_Positive Psychology
September 29, 2021 at 7:40 pm
Simple yet profound words of wisdom. Now onto applying them.
Bui Khanh Linh
September 29, 2021 at 11:24 pm
So this is the voice i have listened everyday in Ted-ed ?!
Hiền Hồ
September 30, 2021 at 5:04 am
It’s such a difficult task to have a work-life balance for a long time. I tried it, but it lasted just a few days and back to the way it was then. How can I maintain it everyday?
Craig Nolan
September 30, 2021 at 11:55 am
Top tip for work/life balance: don’t work
david zaldua contreras
September 30, 2021 at 2:54 pm
i watch another 3 videos in the mid time of this video 🙁
Up & Up
September 30, 2021 at 3:06 pm
yeah true🧡
JYHK
September 30, 2021 at 4:44 pm
I put my phone on airplane mode whenever possible, and I know my boss hates it but it is my day off…
Invox
September 30, 2021 at 7:29 pm
Learn to say “No”… Not an agressive “no”, but a polite “no”.
BJ M
September 30, 2021 at 10:21 pm
I’m only gonna be working 7-9 hours a week in my business. Talk about work-life balance, lol.
Aaa Ggg
October 1, 2021 at 1:55 pm
Help the oppressed in India, they are being severely oppressed
Honkytonkified
October 1, 2021 at 5:03 pm
Thanks, Ashley. I’m whilling and wish I had time for these strategies. I’d have to quit commenting on videos, wasting time texting with one finger on a tiny jetpack, always having to use the back key to correct swipe misunderstandings like JETPACK!!
Life Eun
October 2, 2021 at 11:51 am
I’ve been working with my dad for 3 years. My dad is literally my boss. We always talked about work AFTER work. I was getting stressed out without noticing. At some point, i started smoking and staying outside of home during weekend. We started having a really bad relationship due to disagreements. I decided to move out from my parents home and things sorted out. I was able to run away from 24 hours working enviroment and now im good and we are good. Im happy that i have my own time and space even though im spending a lot of money for renting.
Yassin Omari
October 2, 2021 at 4:24 pm
She’s amazing, anyone has her name or ig pls
Ephel joash Sagansay
October 2, 2021 at 4:36 pm
You guys have work?
ELEN KULLU
October 2, 2021 at 9:29 pm
You are so beautiful 😍
Mratta911
October 3, 2021 at 7:41 am
Great subject matter!
Chris Talley
October 3, 2021 at 9:54 am
It’s simple. Work 12 hours a day. Go somewhere else for the other 12.
jeremy nicholas
October 3, 2021 at 3:26 pm
No phone calls on Sunday or Monday for me. Leave me a text I’ll get back to ya. And Ashley is adorable
Avni Mishra
October 3, 2021 at 3:34 pm
Great Content
Lety
October 4, 2021 at 2:06 am
You are so pretty!!!
Cristian Villavicencio
October 4, 2021 at 1:14 pm
Very good tips! It’s great that Allison Mack finally found balance.
Meritz
October 4, 2021 at 1:42 pm
Great tips, thank you.
Hằng Lê
October 4, 2021 at 5:31 pm
I have been burned out since starting WFH. Colleagues have set call meeting or contacted on my weekends, the managers have given the deadlines to work throughout the weekends. My private life has been interrupted by work. This video encourages me to be stronger to take back my time. Thanks much.
oeillade
October 4, 2021 at 5:43 pm
These are all great tips if you already work in a place that’s pretty reasonable and values you highly as a worker. Many people would be labelled as “slow” or “lazy” or be told they need to “say yes more” if they did this. Great if you can do this without threatening your job though, but I wouldn’t say typical.
Ahmed Jasim
October 5, 2021 at 7:25 pm
She is saying nothing she just speak
Rosemary (exquisite ebooks)
October 6, 2021 at 4:39 am
Balancing it outwardly yields greater results! Try it!
Contact 👉 Maskoffweb,com👈
October 6, 2021 at 5:21 am
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Contact 👉 Maskoffweb,com👈
October 6, 2021 at 5:22 am
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Niña Naculangga
October 8, 2021 at 11:16 pm
I love this talk. Thanks.
Ayush gupta
October 9, 2021 at 7:53 am
We asked….*Maulana sahib,* who will go to heaven, Hindu or Christian?
Maulana — only *Muslim* he said (angry tone)
OK, which Muslim? — *Shia or Sunni.?*
Maulana immediately spoke — *Sunni of course.*
I asked Maulana — There are 2 classes in Sunni.
which of them? *Muqallid*, ya non-muqallid.?
Maulana immediately spoke– *Only mukallid will go!*
I asked again —- Yes, there are *four in Mukallid.* Who among them will go to heaven?
Maulana said very leisurely —- *only Hanafi*, who else?
Then I asked Maulana — Yes, but in *Hanafi there
are both Debbandi and Barelvi,* then who among
them will go to heaven?
Maulana replied—– “Brother, only my *Debabandi* are entitled to go to heaven.
I then said — thank you very much, but Maulana
sahib….. even in debbandi there are 2…. *Hayati and Mamati* So who among them will go to heaven?
After this Maulana saheb used abusive words and walked away.
Philipp the Sock
October 9, 2021 at 2:50 pm
I like her body language.
Ian Robert
October 12, 2021 at 1:24 am
That’s great, Sometimes we need to get our minds off negativity and just motivate ourselves, If you dwell on your failures you will end up not achieving your dreams, take a chance and try something new.
Louis Nathan
October 12, 2021 at 4:47 pm
how is her perfomance though? i mean what’s the growth rate of your portfolio on average. i just checked her out and her qualifications seem solid. I am interested in investing huge on this. What’s her minimum start up capital?
Romeo Douglass
October 12, 2021 at 4:50 pm
Her and her team of expertise durability is strong as consciously build redundancies and safeguards. I believe that there’s no investment advisor that offers this combination of superior service and investment results better than her.
Regina Colombus
October 12, 2021 at 4:51 pm
Thsts awesome , already subscribed to this channel so I can get more information nice video.
Regina Colombus
October 12, 2021 at 4:51 pm
Hey anyways how can I get her daily?
Luiz Patrick
October 12, 2021 at 4:54 pm
That was my case. her recommendation