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The Four Steps to Hearing Hard Feedback Gracefully | Chris Wheatley | TED

We all have a “thing” — the way we act when we’re not at our best that we somehow can’t see in ourselves. Leadership expert Chris Wheatley learned about his when his best friend at work called him on it. He shares how hearing that hard truth shattered a lifelong pattern of defensiveness, offering a…

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We all have a “thing” — the way we act when we’re not at our best that we somehow can’t see in ourselves. Leadership expert Chris Wheatley learned about his when his best friend at work called him on it. He shares how hearing that hard truth shattered a lifelong pattern of defensiveness, offering a practical framework for receiving feedback with tact. (Recorded at TEDxSpokane on January 31, 2026)

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12 Comments

  1. @MsLizziebeth1

    September 13, 2026 at 11:13 am

    Ha! How about when it’s your hatefull boss? ….He DOESN’T care.

    • @kimberly_erin

      September 13, 2026 at 11:59 am

      Ask them about it. See if they want to try it out. If it doesn’t work out, find another boss

    • @janycebrown4071

      September 13, 2026 at 1:18 pm

      Get a new boss😊❤

  2. @sharlarae9719

    September 13, 2026 at 11:34 am

    Great advice 🫶

  3. @surpreetsindhar

    September 13, 2026 at 12:02 pm

    Where’s the hype button this needs to be hyped up

  4. @janycebrown4071

    September 13, 2026 at 12:06 pm

    Excellent video!
    Be better everyday ❣️💪🙌✨️

  5. @TheCanopyCrusader

    September 13, 2026 at 12:45 pm

    That was spectacular! I, too, have had to deal with the same issue and now I have an easy to follow technique. Thank you!

  6. @misslusixseven67

    September 13, 2026 at 1:19 pm

    The hard stuff makes us better, in my experience. 😊

  7. @greyish7121

    September 13, 2026 at 1:59 pm

    Couldn’t stop smiling throughout the whole video. What a beautiful and warm reminder that we’re just humans and we sometimes do need people to tell us if we’re doing good or not.

  8. @RealFTFC

    September 13, 2026 at 2:33 pm

    Finally a talk about being better humans with adopting to AI.

  9. @pacmanshooter247

    September 13, 2026 at 3:07 pm

    You could really tell he spoke from the heart and it means something very real to him. It’s rare I watch these. I’m glad I did this time.

  10. @Echo21

    September 13, 2026 at 4:13 pm

    The Four Steps to Hearing Hard Feedback Gracefully:
    1. Thankfulness – Calm the initial fight-or-flight response (10:00)
    2. Acknowledgement – Help the OTHER PERSON feel seen and heard (10:12)
    3. Commitment – Honor the feedback with action (10:35)
    4. Thankfulness – Reinforce and reward the behavior (11:00)

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